( * / closed starter for alex. ) @riiseandfall !
rarely did julian find himself grateful for the cover of his ridiculous helmet. it was too snug, too hot and stuffy for his liking. he doesn't know how the other's can go hours without a break, without air going directly into their lungs. it drove him insane. the only upside to this whole capitol thing was the pay, ( and the luxuries he now had access to in abundance in comparison to back home. ) "i need air, like desperately," he mutters to one of them, god know's who was who anymore. "i'll be outside." he stumbles towards the door, his aching head distracting him more than he'd ever admit.
the outside. a huge fucking relief to him as he took off to the side of the building. hoping not to be seen by prying eyes as he yanks the white sauna off of his head. peacekeepers were only to show their face in very particular moments, a fancy capitol party was not one such occasion. so when he locks eyes with someone just close enough to him, he begins to scramble to get the helmet back on. until he notices exactly who it is he's looking at.
this was the part he dreaded, the conversation he'd hoped to avoid at any cost. any cost except- apparently, a particularly warm night. he can't help but take alex in for a second. they looked different, older, stronger. the eyes are what really threw him off though. the hopeful kindness he once clung to in alex's eyes had vanished, the way they look at him no longer affectionate or in need of him. you did that and you know it. if there was any justice you would've gone into that arena.
shaking his head, he turns his body away from them as he tries to gather his thoughts. now was not the time to stay silent, but what was there to say? i'm sorry? i regret it? was decieving him worse than the truth? did alex even want to hear the truth? or would they prefer to hear what they want to hear? for a moment he genuinely has no idea how to proceed. "you're here..."
is that the best you can do?
