#rigini

as we all know I’m basically god so I decided what Good ships are. In no particular order here are my reviews of pretty much every hsmtmts ship (just the teens, I don’t fuck with the adults) with some sort of following. also everyone is bi unless they’re stated in-show to be gay. then they’re gay. and also I say fuck too much. sorry.

Rigini (Ricky/Gina/Nini): god tier. 100% am on board, a trio of triple threat bisexuals AND no more love triangle. love triangles suck. win win. throuple who eat sushi together on a Tuesday at 3:00pm and then fight over the bill.

Seblos (Seb/Carlos): also god tier. fuck you guys for pretending it’s boring and then choosing to ship e*os instead 🤢 seblos is cute and they’re age appropriate partners and they’re very talented and sweet and they got just as much setup as half the other canon ships smh disney let them kiss or I’ll sue

Rina (Ricky/Gina): hi hello heaven you have a new pairing. they just GET each other. chemistry through the roof. don’t get me started on the hat. Plus strangers > friends > enemies > lovers,,,,,, best trope 🥺

Redlyn (Big Red/Ashlyn): guys you’re both gay this isn’t gonna work

Elos (EJ/Carlos): fuck off. it’s BORING stop pretending it’s revolutionary. stop it. Carlos has a perfectly fine boyfriend y’all just don’t like two “feminine” guys together because gays gotta be conventionally and heteronormatively attractive to be acceptable (ESPECIALLY together) so of course it only makes sense to put Strong EJ with Weak Carlos. Fuck you. Plus y’all are just thirsty for Hot White Boy™️ and love fetishizing gay men

Redky (Big Red/Ricky): Soft… this ship makes me want to scream in a good way. childhood friends > lovers makes me feel emotions I didn’t know still existed in my cold heart. Get yourself a man who will turn on a forest noise machine to help you sleep because of his sleep apnea

Rini (Ricky/Nini): you guys can stay I guess. I didn’t like all the “will they won’t they” because OBVIOUSLY they will but we did get Just For A Moment out of this ship and it’s a bop so 😐 these are two bi disasters and drama will inevitably happen again. they’re the straight couple who would dare each other to kiss their best friend just for shits and giggles.

Ashney (Ashlyn/Kourtney): tbh I’m only including this bc I’ve seen it on twitter a few times and I’m pretty sure it’s only a thing bc no one knows what to do with Kourtney

Gini (Gina/Nini): enemies > friends > lovers GENIUS babey!! The flavor that has… immaculate

RJ (Ricky/EJ): and we’re back with the gay ships that make no sense but they’re white gays so tumblr ships it 🙄 y’all Ricky literally hit EJ in the face that’s not romantic plus they would go on a dates to mcdonalds.

GJ (Gina/EJ): I’m gonna be honest here idk if that’s the ship name but who cares bc it’s bad. Gina is a cultured woman and EJ probably thinks salt is spicy. she’s a sophomore he’s a senior, it would never work out logistically, but also their actors are like seven years apart. Bad.