I'm going to be so popular today.
So, even though everyone's given their two cents on the strawman comics floating around either denouncing hateful feminists or denouncing people who denounce other people using passive aggressive comics or any combination of the above, I thought I'd give my two cents as well. Â Because the whole entire thing makes me sad and depressed and here's why:
It's all devolved into "teams" again. Â It always does. Â It's always "us vs. them" or "me against people with different opinions" or "ideology vs. ideology" - it's all just teams! Â Why can't everyone understand that this sort of division into "a vs. b" is the most harmful thing we can do to the discourse? Â When you categorize someone into a "team" you dismiss them, which is why we do it so naturally. Â You literally go "oh, well they're part of that side, so they are exactly the same as everyone else on that side, and I can make assumptions about them because I've categorized them." Â Hello! Â That's exactly what we're trying not to do, ever. Â We're not supposed to say "Oh, all feminists are like this" or "all bronies are like this," "all asexuals are like this," "all _____ are like this." Â But that's what mentally making "teams" does. Â And we need to stop it. Â
We need to stop making teams to excuse ourselves from thinking and treating each person we meet as a unique and special individual who we should get to know and understand. Â And that's why both the original comic and the responses to it just make me want to cry: both "teams" make generalizations that don't foster getting to know people on the other "team." Â Ah - you see, even I'm doing it! Â Even I am trapped in this "team" mentality and just made generalizations about both sides! Â We need to escape this! Â We need to escape this divisive way of mental categorization!
So, the bottom line is: treat every person like an individual. Â A rational, thinking individual. Â When you challenge them on something they've done, make sure that you are challenging a specific action that person did, and not simply attacking an opinion. Â Because actions can make you an asshole; an opinion on it's own can not. Â Does he treat you like shit because you declined his romantic offer for a date? Â Congratulations, he's an asshole and you can avoid interacting with him. Â Does she treat you like shit because you're a man even though you've just met? Â Congratulations, she's an asshole and you can avoid interacting with her. Â Does she think that abortion is wrong? Â Welp, she's not an asshole and you should talk to her to find out why she believes what she does, then tell her your beliefs and why you hold them, and then you'll both understand each other a little better. Â Does she then go and picket an abortion clinic, yelling at women that they are shit until she's red in the face? Â Congratulations, now she's an asshole and you can attack her specifically for something she's done.
But do you see how in each of those situations these judgments were made on a very individual level, and at no time were any "teams" or "sides" brought up? Â That is how we need to approach discourses. Â So, please please please, at the very least try to become aware of when you are forming mental categories of "teams," because you are doing it subconsciously. Â It will be hard to stop thinking in these terms. Â But the only way we're ever going to change it is if we become aware of the fact that we're doing it.