#right wrong

[A sannyasin from Ethiopia said he had difficulty in communicating with friends, as he felt that they tended to make him feel in the wrong, so that he would doubt himself even when he felt himself to be right sometimes]

The first thing: there is nothing like right or wrong. It depends. It depends on the standpoint. There is not something very solid about which one can decide that this is right and that is wrong. There are no such values. The same thing can be right to one person and wrong to another, because it more or less depends on the person. The same thing can be right in one moment for a person, and in another moment it can be wrong because it depends on the situation.

But we all carry a hangover, a hangover which has been implanted in us for centuries, as if there is something right and something which is wrong. You have been taught in aristotelean categories. This is right and that is wrong. This is white and that is black. This is God and that is devil. These categories are false. Life is not divided into black and white. A lot of it is more like grey.

And if you see very deeply, white is one extreme of grey and black is another extreme, but the expanse is of grey. So one can see it as white and one can see it as black. It is as if a glass is there, half full, half empty. Somebody says it is half full and this is the truth and somebody says it is half empty and this is the truth... and they start fighting.

All arguments are more or less like that. Reality is more grey. It has to be so because it is not divided anywhere. There are no watertight compartments anywhere. This is a foolish categorisation, but it has been implanted in our mind. We always say that this answer is right and that answer is wrong.

This whole evaluation is absurd and nobody has the right to decide -- neither you nor your friends. You have to decide for yourself and they have to decide for themselves. So don't interfere in their life and don't allow them to interfere in your life. I am not saying that you will do something today and that tomorrow you won't feel that it is wrong. But I still say that yesterday it was right. You understand me?

Just the moment afterwards you can feel that it was wrong, but this is not you of the moment before. One moment has passed; now your standpoint is different. Now you are looking at it in a different way. You have become more experienced. At least you have that experience that you did not have before you decided. It may look wrong. Tomorrow again it may look right.

So, right and wrong go on changing continuously. Then what to do? If somebody wants to decide absolutely, he will be paralysed, he will not be able to act. If you want that you act only when you have an absolute decision about what is right, you will be paralysed. You will not be able to act in life. One has to act and to act in a relative world. There is no absolute decision, so don't wait for it. Just watch, see, and whatsoever you feel is right, do.

[Osho said that whenever one suggested a way to others, it should be with the understanding that this is only your standpoint and may not be right for others. One should not try to impose anything on anyone. This, Osho said, was what he regarded as the religious quality.

If friends did not accept one s advice, one should not feel offended but be able to allow others to have freedom in their decision. Nobody in fact follows anybody else because the final decision has to be taken by the person himself. Even if one follows one s friend's advice, if things went wrong, the blame could not be put on the friend because it was one s own decision ultimately. When friends offered advice, one should listen carefully.... ]

One of the great things to be learned is listening. Listen very silently. Just don't listen indifferently. Don't listen as if you want them to stop and you are just listening to be polite because they are your friends. It is better in that case to tell them not to say anything because you are not in the mood to listen.

But if you are listening, really listen, be open, because they may be right. And even if they are wrong, listening to them will enrich you. You will know more sides of the same thing, more viewpoints, and it is always good to learn. So listen well but always decide on your own.

Once a person has this relative understanding and drops absolute nonsense, things become very clear and easy. Otherwise people are very absolutistic. They think in terms of absolutes: this is truth and whatsoever is against it, is wrong. This has crippled the whole earth -- Hindus and Mohammedans and Christians fighting because everybody claims the absolute truth. Nobody has any claim on it. It is nobody's monopoly.

Truth is vast. Infinite are its facets and infinite are the ways to know it. And whatsoever we know is limited; it is just a part.

Never claim for the part as if it is the whole and then you will never be in trouble. Watch every word that you speak. Our language is such, our ways of speaking are such, that knowingly, unknowingly, we make absolute statements. Never do that. Use 'perhaps' more. Hesitate more. Use 'maybe', 'perhaps' more, and allow the other every freedom to decide on his own.

Try it for one month. You will have to be very alert, because it is a deep-rooted habit, but if one is alert it can be dropped. Then you will see that arguments drop and then there is no need to defend. And always remember that it is possible that tomorrow you may think something was wrong, but you have changed. That's why I say that repentance is impossible. The person who committed it is not the person who is repenting. They are two different moments, absolutely atomic and unconnected. So there is no point in repenting. There is no point in thinking again and again about the past. What has happened has happened. Whatsoever you think now is not the point.

[Osho said that it was just as when one was sitting for an examination. Once outside the room, when one was more relaxed, collected, one could review and repent for what one had done, but in the moment you were answering the paper, you were doing what was right in that moment.]

So each moment has its own validity. No other moment can cancel it. You cannot cancel the past. Whatsoever you did in that moment was right in that moment. It was meant to be so. It was all that could happen and it happened; otherwise was not possible. You being you it was going to happen that way. So now there is no point in crying and weeping and repenting over it. Now you are more experienced. Next time remain alert so that the old thing is not repeated, that's all. For one month, try, and then tell me. There is nothing to be worried about.

Osho.