Lesson 3/18/17
I checked Nuno first thing and there were no signs of injury from the incident with the farrier yesterday and also she's not lame anymore. Both of which are good things bc that means I don't have to fiddle around with the vet or any of that farrier bullshit. So we basically just did a get back in it lesson featuring getting a full lap of trot without any canter departs (the remnants of the "f u that hurts" behavior) and an intro level test because it was something to do. She was a bit high strung today as it was a barn work day so lots of people were there doing a number of necessary tasks none of which directly improved the state of things at the barn. We established that spiffy is nervous AF about all things bc of past things which I decided my trainer probably neither had the time nor the will to hear recounted. It's kinda shitty because there was a time when I was cocky as fuck and was low key not great and now I'm still not great but I'm also a scaredy cat. Like, I used to be p harsh but hella confident and when that harsh had to go it took the confidence too and Idk, it's like the confidence was wrapped up with what was essentially aggression (let's be real that's what dominance based training devolved into) and I worked really hard to get rid of the aggression but now I got no confidence and that's a problem too. So now I have to like, actually build real confidence and trust and shit and I have absolutely no clue where I could even start with that? Like how do you even?
