#riceverse

The sweetest thing about Louis & Claudia is that seven year healing process where they got to joke about Emily Dickinson and bond and share a stance on Lestat for ONCE and claudia only fed him rats because she cared about his decisions and she helped him recover and learn how to walk again, comforting him when he failed. I think about those years so much. The level of kinship they had in the few moments we see of that gap is unlike anything they had ever again.

the most gut wrenching appeal to me about claudia was the numbing effect of watching essentially the story of a girl born as a “bandaid to a shitty marriage,” whose mother repeatedly chooses her abusive husband over her daughter and keeps taking said abuser back time and time again, with the girl always a third. having to clean and clear and mend her battered mother just to watch her fall for him all over again. i know it’s projection but i really am compelled by it; that dynamic of loving your mother and despising your father for how he treats her, but becoming increasingly resentful and angry as you grow up and your mother allows him back into the house, excuses his actions, forgets about everything he did not just to her, but what he made *you* endure. that love and hate are so difficult to grapple with because you know shes a victim, but you know you’re suffering for nothing too; he’s nothing to you but something to fear. but she loves him and you love her and shes always in his arms again.