#riajr

I woke up early enough to still see the sun coming up. I vividly remember wanting to fall back asleep when I woke up because I was having an amazing dream about her. I remember the dream was like a second reality where I already lived with her. Cringe, yeah I know but I don’t care. But yeah, this day was easily the best day Ive had in October. I remember being in a private call with her all day. She got home and called me right away which was such a good feeling. We were so comfortable around each other right away. We talked about some pretty deep stuff on these 2 days, played 21 questions. Except I think at one point we both completely opened up to each other. Basically talking about who we are and what we do. Later in the day around 6:00 pm we started to talk about online dating and long distance relationships (LDR). I remember a very torn feeling when we were chatting. I had so many tugs at my heart and mind that I didn’t know what to do. She told me that online relationships never work, so I thought she cleared her mind of anymore LDRs. I remember her telling me that and feeling both relieved and really upset at the same time. Relieved because I was skeptical that this woman was as amazing and perfect as she said she was. Upset because I couldn’t think of a time that I wanted to be with someone so much in my life. I even asked the friend whom we met each other through, if she was being real or did he just send her as a troll. At this point I already fell in love with every trait she opened up to me about. Talking about her thoughts and ideas made me realize how similar we thought. Specifically, I remembered 3 things that I didn’t know could exist in any person, honestly I didn’t know if I even had these 3 things because I felt like it’s so unlikely that I am the only one that I know who could have all 3 of these qualitites. First one being dedication. Being able to dedicate yourself to someone even if they are hundreds of miles away is beyond some peoples capabilities in any case. Secondly, loyalty. Loyalty is huge to me. Being loyal seems to be something nobody can fully accomplish with any amount of personal strength. In my opinion, loyalty plays a huge part in personal strength in relationships. I need someone who will always be home at night, who will always look past looks or a negative quality or trait and work through it, who will always show me that I’m hers, who is proud to be mine and will tell anyone that, who will shut down guys who hit on her so I don’t have to, someone who would come home from school and talk to me untill she passed out, someone who I can trust, truly. And that brings us to the Third quality, which is being trustworthy. Proving to not only me, but everyone that she can be trusted with anything. All my life, Ive had my trust broken year after year. Something about Ria made me open and trust her with my surface personality. To me, being shown multiple times over that I can trust someone will only strengthen my connection to them. I trust very few people with my emotions, but she got them faster than anyone ever has. But after all of this, it was running through my head the thought of someone having all of these things and still having the general personality that she has. Hilarious gal’ always making puns and jokes just to make us laugh. Smart as hell, even though she says it’s normal where she is from I know she is smart. Only someone who is intelligent would be capable of having the 3 best qualities in my opinion. She picks her friends very wisely and is picky when it comes to who she even talks to. Honestly I loved when she told me that she never talks to guys at school or gets hit on. It would of been hard to open up what I have to her. Would of made it really hard to trust her because I didn’t know how she viewed guys because she talks to them everyday. I may seem a bit messed up for saying that and I can understand completely why anyone would say that. From the way Ive grown up and experienced life I just got used to the fact that no girl can say no to a guy flirting with her. I figured that there was nobody on the planet who can just say stop. Not because they didn’t like it but because they knew it would only strengthen the amount of trust that I had for them, and that quality is priceless. But anyways, at about 7:00 we started talking a bit deeper about how we felt for each other and what we wanted in life. We started to talk about how long distance relationships worked and I was honestly trying to open her mind to the idea of an online relationship so that I could be with her and make a life with her. Eventually at around 7:30 we came to a conclusion. She asked me how I felt about her and what I wanted. I told her that I really enjoy everything about her and I want to be with her. I then asked her the same question, she replied with the same answer. We both wanted to be together and she was willing to try a relationship again. We made it official around 7:30 - 8:00 pm on October 30th of 2017. So yes, this was quite easily the best day I had all year because of the fact of how connected I felt with her. One day that day will be legendary when she’s sitting on my couch with a perfect ring on her finger. We may even forget about this blog but I will never forget the way I feel for her. I will always be here for her, no matter what. No matter if we never talk, or if she decides I’m not what she wants in life. It will hurt like hell but I will always be someone she call fall back on. One day she’ll realize that. My Ria <3 Forever and Always.

I don’t really remember much about this day other than talking to her again. I remember trying so hard to flirt and make her laugh. I came up with any reason at all to make her smile. I didn’t know what she looked like visually but spiritually she was the most beautiful girl Ive ever met. At this point I couldn’t even concentrate on my work because I was thinking about her constantly. It was just another good day, I think my face was hurting because hearing her happy just made me smile and I basically smiled all day.