#rhah

Please eat them.❤️

@senka-mesecine

(I dont own anything i simply made the masterlist ,all of it was written by @senka-mesecine)

Barnes headcannons

Seargent Barnes one shot

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― Chris Taylor strikes me as the king of pining. The admire from afar type. The 'I'd rather write about you and vax poetic than actually talk to you' guy. The bottle up my feelings inside type. Something significant, groundbreaking and almost triggering would need to happen to him for him to actually muster up the courage to figuratively bite the bullet and initiate and act upon all the emotions he had internally all along because you probably lived in this guy's letters and say, journal more than he's ever actually did anything in regards of his bubbling affections; and when this landmark event happens --- this something that pushes him into action, he is capable of going from a passive admirer or a quaint friend to entirely hands on overinvolved, dramatic sunset or no sunset, meaning that he probably realized he loved you all along, he just didn't do anything about it because he might've been slightly cynical about relationships as a whole, seeing it as the type of thing his parents would've tried to push him into numerous times before and to actually care for someone now on his own accord almost feels like a betrayal of principles, making the confession only just seem sudden when it isn't actually --- was boiling in him below the surface. Something just shook up Taylor from his slumber and he did what he should've done all along.

― For O'Neill? Man, the realization stage happens immediately. What realization stage? There's none of that. He sees you and his jaw drops. Zap. Love at first sight. Brain fried, no thoughts. The cigarette probably plops out of his mouth too. He's immediately in stuttering flirtation mode, pestering you, annoying you, negging you one moment and then simping the other and he makes no effort to conceal the fact that he's hot for you because why would anyone even conceal that? And even if he could, he's too nervy to actually pull off such a feat of discipline; he'd just twitch to irk and vex you one way or another like it's an itch he just has to scratch. Whatever the case, Red's on your ass like a red ant since day one and it's pointless to actually confess anything because due to how vocally irritating he gets in regards of you; everyone and their grandma just about concluded entirely on their own that this guy's down bad seeing as how if there was a list of top ten ramblings he most frequently indulges in you rank very high up there, meaning that he's invested and in this whole thing much sooner than you probably are. He already acts like he's in a relationship. Better yet; like a spouse that's been married twenty years to you and you're yet to wisen up to the fact you're part of the O'Neill clan.

― Bunny's like...Bunny. Sees the object and subject of his affections, decides he likes and wants the object and subject of his affections, does an act of service that would otherwise be considered harrowing by any normal standards five minutes after meeting them. Hey, here's a tattoo in the shape of a heart I pierced with a needle raw just now, never mind the fact it's freshly bleeding. Y'like it? That's...literally introductions. He is very well capable of doing that before you even know his name or are properly introduced to him seeing as how he operates on pure shock factor and in fact, shocking you is the goal. It's funny to him in a way only he understands. He skips the courtship. Skips the confessions. Skips all the commonplace landmarks of love. Jumps right into the fray. You my girl. So, we doin' this or not? It's literally that easy for him. He declares and decides on a thing and outcome and he'll pursue it until he gets it, plan being to pretty much pester you into a relationship and he doesn't care either ways if he never gets a clear closure or answer on your thoughts about this; in his mind, you're like, a thing. So good luck ever actually shaking him off seeing as how he very acutely embodies the whole 'you're stuck with me now' description of events. You knew him for a scandalously short amount of time and he's already latched on like a leech, refusing to un-latch.

― Wolfe, uh...hovers. You know, he just hovers? He's vaguely nice and he's around. Perpetually. Somewhere in the background. Somewhere nearby. Somewhere at hand. Doesn't get involved but he is involved, if you catch my meaning. Even when you overlook him and he fails at a great many things, he's...kinda always there. Peripheral. At arm's length. That's the definition of him in love and how he effectively 'initiates' a relationship. If he sticks around long enough it'll eventually happen because if he's always there one of these days he'll simultaneously be there at the right moment, at the right minute, second and hour and things will align and click just right and you'll somehow go from being barely an acquittance to being engaged to being married in the span of barely an eye's blink; so fast, in fact, it might even shock you as it happens to you. It's all about timing with him. His confession is deeply tied to timing too. Wolfe's the type to not necessarily personally take part in a brawl but he'll sure as hell tactically show up to 'break it up' once it's already over. He hovers, hovers and hovers you into a relationship and he's either operating on unassuming cunning or he's slightly sleazy. Maybe both. Hard to tell. But, you get won over and you're not even sure how or when it happened. The early bird catches the worm.

― Yeah, alright, for dramatic scenes? Rhah's your guy because he'll have a whole elaborate tirade speech after stewing in his feelings for god knows how long and when he does have his speech you'll almost feel you're being accused of something extremely dire seeing as how intense and impassioned he comes off as in his monologuing; but that's just the byproduct of all his feelings coming out big and theatrical as he holds nothing back, dumping it all on you at once. He'll just about openly tell you he loves you to your face, looking you in the eyes, invading your personal space but making his confession sound like they're fighting words. He could tussle with you just about now as well as make out with you. He's as passionate as he is deeply cynical. He might think of you as a Jezebel that's out to trick him in some shape, way or form and that what he feels is bad news and he knows this because he had plenty of time to germinate on the idea and realize the fact that he's in deep; that you could technically have him at your mercy because his damn heart's gone and been compromised bigtime. He treats all of this almost like it's an infection and that you're the one who's made him sick, but it's not as bleak as it seems because Vermucci's soliloquy is also simultaneously a confession he wants this, albeit in a very eccentric fashion. Might as well lose his soul to something good. He just as easily jumps from apparent hate to love within a second.

― King is loveably uncomplicated and never made a secret out of any of this --- any of his feelings --- in fact, his friendliness and open nature might've made it apparently clear, in a gradually moving sense, that he was your friend, that he liked you and then finally, that he cared; like, the development was all there over a period of time and obvious from the get go and even the most gullible person wouldn't be able to miss it, making King the opposite of someone like, say, Chris Taylor who's all about the secret, introspective longings. The angst. See, King's not like that all and he might think the whole pining thing --- it's rich people stuff, because only rich people have the luxury of wasting time like that instead of taking action and investing in a good something coming out of what was initially nothing. With him, entering a relationship is just the next logical step after a barrage of him being joined at the hip with you because he's consistently been nice to you and you consistently had reason to reciprocate, the same way he's consistently flirted with you, amped up the charm, giving you plenty well-threaded terrain to do the same, making the decision less of a mutual agreement with strictly drawn out lines and regulations but more something that just falls into place naturally because it feels natural, baby. King just gets under the skin like that to the point being together is a given.

― Elias could be the only one out of the bunch to actually have a dramatic sunset in his confession of love; as in, taking you to some quiet, secluded, beautiful place to have a face to face conversation on the matter and talk to you directly about the way he feels. And he does. He explains all of it to you in a very upfront, transparent, sincere way and for all intents and purposes his could be considered the most traditionally acceptable (and healthy) way to approach love and initiating things seeing as how he'll actually sit down and have an immersive talk to you about it that could very well last the whole night as you both pour your respective perspectives along with your hearts out. It's one of those once in a lifetime conversations that literally change you. Like, there's no denial what you are to each other after this one-on-one ends. He knows and now you know too. Elias almost treats this whole thing like something you righteously deserve to know and that keeping it from you would somehow be dishonest or unfair towards you, respecting you too much to have you hanging or in the dark, and he leaves much of where this all goes up to you because for all his kindness, he is somewhat jaded and he doesn't want to burden you with something you might not necessarily want and even when you profess that you do want it, he'll still ask and inquire if you're sure.

This will be my last burger meme. ❤️

❤️❤️He is so charming.

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― I imagine everyone would think that a break up with Chris Taylor would be a normal affair; you think so, everyone who knows him thinks so and even Chris himself thinks so about himself --- fact is, he doesn't envision himself as the type to flip out, have a dark side or a messed up reaction where the prospect of you actually leaving rears its ugly head or really, Taylor doesn't think he'd have a nasty reaction regardless of the situation and the context --- he'd ironically be convinced with his whole entire being that's the domain of men like Barnes or Bunny, not him. See, he thinks he's above these day-to-day suburban notions too, dating, break ups and make ups --- all that everyday jazz. If he wanted all of that he would've stayed in college. He's a nice guy regardless. Cool. Righteous. Level headed. He can handle a rejection no problem. He knows right from wrong. He can move on. And all of these traits are genuine in him except when they're not anymore, though. When the break up ceases being a theory just hanging in the great ether without actually happening and becomes a reality now that's when everything dormant inside of Chris begins flooding out and he starts being scary. He'd be so shocked you're actually serious about this he might go the route of smashing things up, getting in your face, arguing with you and even attempting to restrain you from physically leaving. It's not that Taylor's a bad person. Not that he'd do this with malicious intent. He didn't plan on this...at least not unfolding the way it ended up unfolding. It's just that when he's impassioned about something or someone he can end up seeming over zealous and even over-attached to the degree he starts becoming everything he'd never in a million years describe himself as.

― King tells Rhah and Rhah tells Crawford and Crawford tells Big Harold and Big Harold tells Chris and Chris tells a bunch of other people within Elias' squad in the platoon, and regardless if they're still in the army or have already rotated back into the world somehow these boys all find enough mutual solidarity to meet up amongst themselves, communicate, correspond, make plans and discuss the matter of King's break up like it's a tactical issue of great importance (maybe have some weed to commemorate the good old times while they're at it too; swap tales and all that shit) and confront you about it at a later date as well. They function like a brotherhood. React to this like a brotherhood. You break one heart and you've broken everyone's because they possess enough innate togetherness to have each other's back, even if having each other's backs in this case means demanding closure from you or maybe even a one last ditch to try and persuade you to get back with their friend as an united front. All several of them at the same time, yes. Functions suspiciously like an ambush even though they swear, all smiles and jokey attitudes, that that's not what it is. In fact, it feels like breaking up with King you've invertedly ended a relationship with various other people too because it's admittedly a little startling to have a barrage of people, some of which you don't even know and perhaps only just met now, there wanting answers out of you, practically pestering you to give it another shot. They're not wholly unpleasant about it, but yeah, it's all maybe a tid bit obsessive when one really thinks about it; how you're cornered into this. Meanwhile, King himself could be there with the biggest shit eating grin ever like he knows exactly what he's doing.

― O'Neill is an occasional coward in his own right, sure, and as a result one might think he could be too much of a doormat to actually do anything necessarily too awful if he was ever broken up with, but see, I think that's astoundingly untrue because I feel it would be shocking how quickly he could technically go from someone willingly servile and deferential to you to someone downright mean. Making fun of you, being faux-threatening, being a little cruel, going from being your lover to being your very own personal bully, outright lying that he has someone else lined up somewhere waiting for him and that he's flying out to (throws dart) a base in Okinawa to meet up with someone special and have some fun and this is all your doing because you don't know what you're losing out on by being the way you are --- it's all part of the special O'Neill menu under which he covers up just how devasted and afraid of losing you he actually is --- which yes, he wants and needs to cover up to seem tough because if by chance he showed you how he truly felt, he could reveal himself as the losing side over here and that's just no good in his books. So, he overcompensates. There was never a leech so difficult to get rid of as getting rid of Red actually is. He stalks. He prods. He pokes. He taunts. Might give you puppy eyes the next minute. Could whine. Act sleazy. Act smarmy. Could revert to being mean again. But thing is, there's no getting rid of him. It's difficult to tell after a while if his efforts are pathetic, weirdly endearing or both but one almost feels sorry for him. Almost. Funny thing is, O'Neill might just win you back on account of how awfully persistent he is.

― Everyone would assume a break up with Bunny would be unhinged and that's because it would be unhinged; he doesn't accept this pussy shit, as he calls it, and as a result he might do anything from shooting your neighbor's dog, shooting your own, breaking your windows or attempting to personally set your house on fire as retaliation; to him, this is free reign to do just about anything he wants. Heck, Bunny thinks he can do whatever he wants anyway (a notion he developed in the war) but when you give him an excuse as strong as this, all bets are off --- it's like you've left the gates to Disneyland and the Hugh Heffner's Playboy mansion simultaneously wide open for Bunny boy to browse and peruse as he wishes with zero consequences. He doesn't care if you love him or hate him after all of this, so long as you pay attention, even if it's of the most negative variety, he'll be gleefully content because it means he's on your mind and you scarcely have time for anything else seeing as how you're constantly fending off the crazy things your sick ex is doing to mess up your life. He rather relishes this a lot. The role of a sick ex. It's quite funny to him, actually. Bunny might love being your sick ex just as well as he likes being your actual boyfriend. Not a grand difference for him. It's almost hotter this way in his eyes. He gets into it. One could even say he's happy about it because there's seldom been a time this kid hasn't been smiling from ear to ear ever since the titular break up. It is undeniable it turns him on and that he views this as a bizarre form of foreplay and in fact, he ignores the fact you're not together anymore altogether; he meets you at a public place and he might just grin and throw his arm around your shoulder because that's his piece of ass right there.

― You break up with Wolfe and after the initial shock of that wears off on his end he immediately turns it around on you and makes it seem like he's actually the one taking authority and initiative and breaking up with you after you've already done all the legwork of starting this difficult conversation and breaking the ice around it. He's like a General ready for combat after the battle's already been done and concluded. Naturally, this is a self defense mechanism on Mark's part; a slightly spineless one, admittedly. But, no, this was his idea all along, you see, and he doesn't care anymore. Actually, he's walking away from this conversation altogether, so watch him go. That's it, he's going, all exasperated and up in arms. Going before you can actually pitch in with a counter argument that this was actually your decision and he practically usurped it making it seem like he's come up with it and somehow, you're the one seemingly ending up dumped, having no clue how or why it happened. I mean, you did want a break up...and you could be initially relieved it happened so quickly and seamlessly but part of you might have a bruised ego. Perhaps part of you is surprised at this turn of events. Wolfe might've never vocalized this once and now somehow he's the aggrieved party in control. All of this could serve as a bit of clever reverse psychology on his part, see, because now you might actually be tempted to question him why he wanted the break up when he's been nothing but happy up until like...yesterday or confront him that he's being manipulative; but you so long as you're still pursuing him and actively interested in his train of thoughts and he has the upper hand over you. He weirdly enough has a teensy, tinsy hook you in you don't even realize is there. Ironically, he's keeping you around through pretenses. It's a little sleazy but it works.

― Rhah calls you a Jezebel, Desdemona, Eve Accompanied by the Serpent itself, a Siren, the Whore of Babylon, more deceitful than Delilah, Salome and her Seven Veils, a Maneater, a Witch, a filthy Red and any number of creative, poetic epithets you can only really imagine nonironically, in all seriousness coming out of Rhah Vermucci's mouth and nobody else's. In fact, the insults are so flowery and highly decorative at times (even seeming...oddly flattering if you squint) one almost spots the barely concealed twinge of admiration and attraction still very much present even as you attempt to break up with him because while technically offensive, the ways Rhah theatrically describes you to your face in a feverish, passionate heat almost come off like he's describing the most desirable, vicious, alluring person alive and the subject of all his yearnings, all of that being peppered with sexual tension galore. It's like you're standing on the precipice of trying to end things with him or being dragged along for a round of angry hatesex just about now; either outcome is possible, with things weighing closer to winding up with you two desperately heaving and griding up against each other seeing as how Rhah might just be inches from your face, hot breath in your nostrils as he rants and raves how foul you're doing him now. Things could really quickly escalate from a shouting match to a frenzy of hungry, needy kissing where you're practically wrestling against each other and still arguing in between smooches because Rhah might be still there accusing you of being the equivalent of a trickster minx harlot and you very well could be trying to defend yourself. In either case, it's possible this break up goes nowhere because somehow both of you wake up the next morning properly fucked dry, high, sore, groggy and exhausted.

― While Elias might be the one who'd handle the break up with most grace, understanding and even outright forgiveness he also just downright wouldn't move on, in fact, you guessed it --- drugs and narcotics are his prime comfort. He gets high and he decides not to come down because now that you're out of his life there's not much worth coming down for. Not that he's hopeless. Man's sad. Melancholic, is all. He just wants to preserve the sole semblance of all the good feelings he had while you were here replicated in the form of the consolations and the escapism opioids offer; heck, he might even affectionately name his favorite combination of hallucinogenic dry plants rolled into a blunt after you personally because it's that obvious that the only way wants to cope with your absence is by effectively being on some figurative cloud of smoke somewhere, pretending you're there, and if you ever got worried because you did part on relatively good terms, feeling it's only right to check up on him every once in a while for old times sake you might find him entirely buzzed, smiling at you blissed out and vaguely relaxed and happy seeming because he doesn't think you're real. Something a break up from him and King might have in common. In fact, Elias could be all tenderness and emotion seeing you, pulling you close like you could disappear in a whiff of smoke any minute now and say something genuinely tender about how there's so much good in there world and how much of it is contained in you. How long has he been like this exactly? He seems loosened up and generally content but has he simply been in this den all the while smoking? His eyes are glazed over, joyful and distant and he thinks you're a waking dream and there's something bittersweet but a little disturbing about that.