#rgds

It was his first time coming alone to an awards show. Normally, he would have his band mates by his side, a friend, or you — his now ex.

When he stepped out of the unmarked vehicle, his confidence was through the roof. The smiles and posing came easy, like second nature. The flashes were blinding, the shutters of the cameras were loud, the praise of the fans was heartwarming.

He thought he was doing well.

He thought that after a year of being apart, he was finally over you.

He was about to be proven wrong.

In the middle of answering an interview question about his upcoming music, he’s asked if there’s any possible way that you could’ve inspired any tracks.

“I’ll just let the lyrics speak for themselves.” His answer is cryptic, and the interviewer ‘oooo’s’ for dramatic effect. Thinking the interview is close to being done, he’s about to politely excuse himself when he gets interrupted by the interviewer’s gasps of delight.

They point at an area above his shoulder and behind him. The crowd around him also murmurs in shared excitement and he swears he hears your name whispered among them.

As if in slow motion, he turns around, and has to do a double take when he sees you in all your beautiful glory, dress flowing effortlessly around you as you walk and wave with a dazzling smile that has his eyes widening both in amazement and fear.

His breath gets caught in his throat, heart rate increasing to an abnormal speed. His palms become sweaty and he has to wipe them on his pants discreetly as your figure draws closer to where he’s at.

You haven’t noticed him yet.

For a split second, it crosses his mind to just run while he can and avoid the impending reunion with you, but ultimately his decision is made for him when the same interviewer calls out your name loudly, and waves you over.

Here goes nothing.

“Miss Y/L/N, we were just talking about you! How are you? You look amazing in your dress!”

You keep a healthy distance between you and Namjoon, smile tight, and brow raising in question at the interviewer’s words.

“All good things, I hope?” Your eyes meet Joon’s for the first time and it takes everything you have to keep your eyes from watering as you look away first, feigning cleaning off makeup from your eyes with your fingertip in an attempt to remain poised.

He frowns, noticing your tell for when you’re upset. Clearing his throat, he fixes the attention back on himself to allow you a moment to collect yourself. You give him a small smile in thanks. He nods subtly.

After a few indirect questions he skillfully dodged about your previous relationship, the focus was once again switched back to you. Full smile on display, you answer some questions yourself, keeping calm and witty, even sharing a few laughs with Joon.

Something you realized that you missed hearing until now.

As it finally comes to a close, you both make your ending remarks, wishing each other well in future endeavors and congratulating one another on your individual award nominations. To his surprise, it was you to make the first move. Your hand lays on his chest as you lean up to give him a chaste kiss on his cheek. Gently patting his chest, you step away and give him a final wave with a warm smile.

“See you, Joon.” Your voice is light and airy, eyes full of a kind of love he didn’t deserve.

Try as he may, his voice cracks as he replies, and your smile falters, the brightness in your eyes dimming.

“See you, y/n.”

He’s the one to pivot on his heel and walk away, hands shoved anxiously in his pants pockets, knowing if he allowed himself to look at you any longer his fake facade of being put together would begin to crumble in front of millions of viewers — in front of you.

And, most importantly, he didn’t want you to see how hopelessly in love with you he still is.

If he turned back around right now, he would witness your tearful eyes full of longing, lip quivering so badly you have to bite it, as you stare at his departing back with a sliver of hope that he would run back to you with a public declaration of love.