#reverse puberty

Ciao, 2016!

Sincerely, 

ReversePuberty

Congratulations you won a tough contest now the real work begins. Thanks to the shenanigans of the two major parties, the media, you, and much of the American populace, our country is more divided than it has been in a long time.  So after thanking those who voted for you, as a third-party voter that doesn’t include me, you need to unify our war-weary hearts and minds as only you can do. Any one can be a sore loser or an egotistical winner, but only you can demonstrate the calm grace to bring us back together as the family of Americans we are.

you’re more interested in looking at his dog. 

Wasp’s Nest

Today I made the trip to a warehouse store that I refuse to do the honor of naming and giving it any free publicity. I rarely frequent this store with cement floors because it recently stopped accepting AmEx and its products, customer service and shopping experience have declined faster than Brangelina’s relationship. When checking out today, the cashier told me it was time to renew my “executive” aka pricier membership. I said I wanted to change to a regular priced membership so I was forced to go to the ironically named Customer Service desk. After weaving through the long lines of shoppers waiting in line to buy fast food, I explained my choice to the Customer Service Rep, also a misnomer, he refused to honor my request and insisted on attempting to sell me the higher priced membership. Only when I allowed him to finish his sales pitch did he allow me to downgrade to the regular membership. I had already told him I was shopping there less frequently for many reasons and he added one more! Know your rights, friends, don’t let salespeople or customer service people bully you into purchasing more than you want. They’ll try to wear you down – don’t fall for it! Remember, if it was really to your benefit, they wouldn’t want you to have it!

Your friend,

Reverse Puberty