#repressedmagic

02.

Eggsy doesn’t know how many times they have kissed between them. Eggsy doesn’t know how much of Credence’s naivety he has stripped away during that time, but he hadn’t stopped to think about it until he was face-to-face with the reason that Credence flinched at the smallest of noises that catch him off guard.

There’s a cigarette between his lips and he hadn’t bothered to check through the closed curtains before tugging the door open at the sound of insistent knocking. Credence is there, only— only he looks entirely different from how Eggsy has come to know him. The other is hunched in on himself, eyes cast down towards the floor and Eggsy damn near fucking chokes as he inhales at the sight of him. It’s not the first time that Credence has been to his flat, nor will it be the last. Eggsy just has to be glad to whatever may actually be above that Dean isn’t in, that his mum had gone with him and taken Daisy, despite how he had insisted that he was capable of taking care of his sister. More than her shit fucking excuse of a father, anyway.

Credence starts talking, gaze shifting towards the edge of the walkway, and it’s only then that Eggsy even realises that there’s a woman standing there. Her eyes are dark, chin raised, and she looks like she would sacrifice him if she had the opportunity to. Credence speaks of sin and God. Eggsy wants to laugh. He doesn’t, though. Stubs out his cigarette beneath his trainers as Credence asks if he can come inside and continue to explain what his church does. There are fliers in his hands and there’s the threat of a smile as they finally make eye contact.

Eggsy moves to the side without a word, allows Credence to come inside, and he spares a final glance at that woman again. Her lips have twisted into something he might call a smile on anyone else. He locks the door behind them. Credence doesn’t have the chance to say anything before Eggsy is backing him into the counter, slapping that ridiculous hat off his head, and kissing him like he is a drowned man. Credence muffles a startled noise between them and Eggsy only uses it as an excuse to push his tongue into the other’s mouth.

“Here I was, thinkin’ that ya’ liked to sin,” It’s sarcastic, nasty in a way that wasn’t directed at Credence. He doesn’t know if the other knows that, though. He doesn’t give it a second thought as he drops to his knees, sure to get bruises, and forces open Credence’s belt without another word.

03. 

It’s been five months since he last saw Credence and the thought makes him ache in ways that he hadn’t even known to be possible. He doesn’t know what to do with the guilt that settles in his chest as he watches the other in the dark that surrounds him. Eggsy doesn’t know why Credence still wants to be this close to him – why he has seemingly forgiven him when he has done nothing to deserve it. He may have explained, but that wasn’t an excuse. He had left without a word, fully aware of what happened to Credence by someone that he was meant to trust, and he hadn’t tried to do anything to get in contact with him. Merlin probably wouldn’t have allowed it – but he might have been able to convince Harry and explain why it was so important. He had pressed teeth into his tongue and kept silent. He hadn’t wanted to fuck up. He hadn’t wanted to ruin this and it had been selfish of him.

They had both changed in too many ways since they had last been together, but it almost felt like they were back in that shit council flat that Eggsy had lived in for too many years. Only Credence had never stayed until sundown – definitely not past it. The bed feels too big in comparison. There’s too much room and there is too much of an excuse for Credence to be able to slide against the edge and put distance between them. Eggsy finds that he wouldn’t blame him if he decided to, though.

He doesn’t understand why Credence had agreed to stay there in the first place. Merlin had given him the route to his own room, probably already set up and welcoming. Eggsy had headed to his own room, on the same floor, and Credence had followed. He hadn’t been able to tell him to do anything else.

Fingers trace the other’s spine, slow and steady, and Eggsy has to remind himself that this is real. That this isn’t some sort of messed up dream that he’s having. He exhales. It’s without a word that he leans in and their lips touch before Eggsy can even give him any sort of warning. A hand presses into Credence’s hair, desperate to make it last as his eyes fall closed.

It only lasts for a moment. He presses their foreheads together afterwards. The sound he makes is far more broken than he ever intended it to be.

04.

There are glasses on Credence’s face. There are glasses in the top pocket of Eggsy’s suit. They’re both wearing suits and Eggsy is wearing a smug grin, no attempt to hide it. He knows that this will be fine – everything will go smoothly, even if Credence seems to be radiating nerves that have kept everyone away from him. Eggsy understands though, of course, he does. Merlin’s given them a small mission to start with, something so that they could work on communication and trust between them. Not that Eggsy thought that they would have any problem with that – it was just about proving it.

He had the drive to get there, though. Somewhere in the south, along the coast. It was just to go and find one of the supposed safe houses, to see whether or not it was where it was meant to be. It was low risk, a small amount of time. He’d be back by the end of the night. It’d be pretty simple if everything went according to plan. If it didn’t then they would need to work together and figure it all out anyway. Most of Kingsman’s work was learning how to deal with the unknown, wasn’t it? Credence would need to learn that too.

He watches the other drum fingers against the counter before him, everything that he needed already prepared. Eggsy perches on the edge of the desk and grins. “It’ll be fine,” he says before anything else, confidence unwavering. “Just breathe, ‘kay? The only way that this can mess up is if ya’ are too nervous to tell me what I’m meant t’ be doin’.” Then fingers curl into the lapels of Credence’s suit jacket and pulling him up; slotting their mouths together with a firmness that vibrates beneath his skin.

Credence is red in the face by the time that Eggsy lets him pull away, can practically hear Merlin sigh in his ear without having his glasses on. He smirks, leans down to kiss Credence a final time before standing up to leave. “I’ll see ya’ tonight, ‘kay?” he murmurs as he finally tugs his glasses from out of his pocket. “Talk t’ you once I get in the car.”

05.

The last thing he remembers is yelling in his ears, a desperate sound of his own name, before the world went black around him. Eggsy isn’t entirely sure what had happened – a mission gone wrong, both him and Roxy caught off guard. They had been surrounded, on separate floors. Eggsy thought that he had managed to get through the thick of it when something collided into the back of his skull, sent him reeling and against a wall. Then the ones left had swarmed, Eggsy blindly shooting before everything faded and Credence’s voice in his ear had tried to bring him back to consciousness.

His throat is dry, rough as he opens his eyes. He swallows thickly, tries to keep himself calm at the sudden panic that overtakes him… Only, when he looks up, it’s a sight that he knows all too well. Eggsy has spent far more time within these walls than he ever wants to admit to.

The second thing he notices is that there is a weight against his hand, someone holding on in an almost too tight a grip. He breathes in through his nose and forces himself to be calm, despite the panic that blooms in his chest. He forces his head to turn to the right and he feels drunk as he does; off kilter, disorientated. Any attempt he makes to speak merely turns into a noise, low and in the back of his throat.

Credence’s eyes snap open from where he is sat in the chair beside his bed and Eggsy allows a guilty smile to curl up the corners of his mouth.

“Hey,” he whispers, voice quiet. It hurts. “Told ya’ that I’d be back.”