#replyguys

pc whiners

You’re hanging out in the park on a sunny day, idly playing with an old tennis ball.  Tossing it up in the air and catching it, dribbling it on the pavement, just messing around.

A guy with a tennis racket runs up to you.  He’s dripping sweat and he’s wearing a polo shirt, little white shorts, and a headband.  “Serve to me!” he yells.

You humor him and lob him the ball, and he winds up and absolutely smashes it across the park.  You have to walk like a quarter mile to pick it up.  Tennis guy doesn’t help or apologize.

But when you’ve got your ball back, he’s right in front of you again, crouching with his racket in both hands, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.  “Serve me another one!” he says.

“No,” you say.  “I didn’t come here prepared for a serious competitive game, and it seems like that’s all you know how to do.  I’m not enjoying this.  I’m going to take my ball and go home.”

"But you’ll lose!” he says.  “You’ll forfeit the match!  I’ll win by default!”

“Uh huh,” you say indifferently, walking away from him.  “Guess so.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he says.  “This isn’t how you play tennis!  You’re terrible at tennis!  You are the WORST TENNIS PLAYER EVER and everyone’s going to know it!  You’ll never be a contender in any tournament ever again!  Are you just okay with that??!?!”