#relpase

*I could go for an Aquafina right now.

i feel like a pendulum, as i oscillate between

relapse

and recovery.

and i wonder, is this my purpose? travelling through a spiralling road that is never really going up

or down?

for weeks, i trudge up the hill, and i am left battered and bruised. but i am unbothered, for the sun smiles at me.

blinded by its light, i trip on a dent in the road. and scrape my knee.

and i recall, how heavenly the sun feels on my skin

Must be three days now. And I can still feel it. Everything’s still stuck in amber but I’m getting left behind.

It started with a dream. I can barely remember what happened but I sure as hell remember how it felt. I woke up with this cloud above my head brewing a hurricane about to happen.

Go away.

Make it stop.

Shit! What is this?

Fuck! Again?!

But I’ve been fine for years. So I thought I could just push it on the deepest corners of my subconscious.

Go away!

Make it stop!

all of a sudden there you were. As if you knew. And as I tried to run, Like the clumsy idiot that I am, I stepped into a trip wire and the gates of hell opened wide. It all came rushing in. Uninvited and unwanted, they nestled in and lit up the god damn black hole.