#relationshipwithparents

BLOG #9

RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS

We would not exist in this world without our parents, yet aside from bringing us to life, they are also the ones who give us the sustenance that we need for our everyday life. It goes to show how vital their role is to our daily life; Also, for our own development.

The identity and characteristics that we have today may be a result of what our parents have instilled in us. They are the ones who formed the basic foundation of our identity. From childhood to a certain part of our adolescence we have this dependence on our parents because they are the ones who provide us with everything and we could not function without them. We treat them as if they are the all-knowing people who are perfect and would do anything just to give what we need. They bring us to school, give us shelter, feed us decent food, and clothe us, for they are the ones who are capable of doing such acts, and it is their role in the family. As we try to find our own selves, we slowly let go and become independent from such guiding figures. Experiencing individuation is similar to defining your own self and showing to the world who you are apart from the parents whom people associate you more often than not. That part in life may give one a certain act of exploration, whichever from good or bad, that would help determine whether or not a person is aiming towards acceptance and maturity or not.  

Our parents were once children like us and they have the notion to give to their children what they never had. What’s missing was the feeling that they felt before when they were lacking what they wanted. Moreover, some choose to force their children do whatever they never fulfilled before even if it is not the dream or the ambition of the child. That feeling is what drove them to strive better and to give better lives to their children, yet the lack of empathy and emotional connection changes the way the parent perceives what the child is going through.

I’ve been contemplating ever since I reached high school, why and how things changed between the relationship of my parents and I. There had been a lot of changes that happened both in the lives of my parents and I, yet I think not one of them took the time to stop and analyze whatever is happening. On the other hand, I took my time and tried to adjust myself towards the situation to make all-of our time worthwhile. However, my past relationship with my parents never returned. I am more reserved now, yet more observant, for I get to see what is happening to the entire family; while they are oblivious of mine. I may have doubted myself in most times and usually blame myself for making things worse than it already is, yet I know it is still a long way for me and my parents to have the kind of family that we want. After all there is no such thing as a perfect family, yet I’m always willing to adjust and make amends with the other factors of my life in-order-to do whatever my parents want me to do, and to finally have my share of peace of mind at a structure where we live in called the house.