How Venom Shows Affection
aka Venom Acts Like a Cat
1. They wake Eddie, their owner aka slave host up at ungodly hour, just to ask for food.Â
âWeâre hungry, Eddie.âÂ
âUgh. Itâs 3! In the morning! How can you be hungry?! Besides, we just ate an hour ago!ââÂ
2. They leave "gift" on Eddie's bedÂ
The first time Eddie got something that looked like a human's liver, he screamed. By the third time it happens, he yells at Venom to "Clean up your own damn mess!"Â
"You're such a poor hunter, I don't know how you could survive before I came along."
"I buy food, like everyone else."Â
3. They love to curl around Eddie, but when he tries to pet them, they hiss menacinglyÂ
By the second week of co-habitation, Eddie is so used to Venom's teeth that he merely rolls his eyes.
4. Every time Eddie is trying to write an article, Venom will slither out and "sit" on his hands or on his keyboardÂ
âDo you have to do this every time? Every fucking time, V?â
"If it weren't meant to be sat on, why is it so warm?"
The first time they did this, they misjudged their power. Eddie ended up with a goose egg on his forehead. They wailed their sorry. Only when they were sure Eddie was fine, they grumbled, âHumans, so weak! What will you do without me?â
6. They love to slither around Eddie's legs, sometimes tripping him, though they also make sure to catch himÂ
"Tripping over air, Eddie dear? What a clumsy person you are!"Â
"You did it, didn't you?"Â
"We don't know what you're talking about."
7. Venom licks Eddie (and Eddie ends up with slobbers all over his face)Â
"Ugh, look for another way to show your love!"
Venom loves licking Eddie's hair when they are watching TV.Â
"What, pray tell, are you doing?"Â
âDid you just purr?âÂ
âYou did! Oh my god! You try so hard to be a tough asshole, but youâre actually an adorable dork!âÂ
âWeâre not adorable! We are fearsome! We are a PREDATOR!âÂ
Snicker. ââPredatorâ, yeah right. Youâre an adorable dork. Adorkable, thatâs what you are!âÂ
âUgh, Eddie, even WE know what a horrible pun it is.âÂ