#relatablehistory

- back in the good old days -

America: *is having internal crisis and pretending it’s fine like usual*

France: Hey. Hey America? Where’s that shipment of food? I’m still kinda in need of assistance from WWI. My people are hungry!

Germany: also about that loan...

Russia: don’t feel bad France. My people haven’t had proper food for months

France and Germany: ??? Dude you okay ???

Russia: *looks into camera like their on the office* I also committed genocide

French Dude: hey look French Dude #2 died of mysterious illness. That can’t be good.

French Dude #3: eh what’s up with his corpse? It’s like his muscles are still reciving signals and causing his limbs to jerk in a sort of post-mortem seizure.

French Dude #1: a what now?

FD#2: well you see our muscles are controlled by sort of elections impulses and so this plague seems to have-

FD#1: ha ha his corpse dabbed

FD#2: are you even listening? I’m explaining the process thisnplague seems to be taking its victims-

FD#1: Imma call this the Dancing Plague

History: so you’re against black rights

Thomas: but wait I have a black girlfriend

History: like actually your girlfriend or-

Thomas: i took her to France with me. She could have been free if she stayed but came back with me of her own will.

History: okay not the smartest choice ever made but still-

Thomas: I put in my will for her to be set free

History: well that was vaguely human of you to-

Thomas: yeah but I died with a bunch of debt so my family sold her instead of setting her free to pay it off when I died and abandoned her

White Male™: hold up you can’t do that

Woman: what I’m just trying to help my society and feed my kids and-

White Male™: I’m sorry women aren’t allowed to have brains or thoughts or ideas there’s something wrong here

Woman: but I’m just-

White Male™: she must be a witch

Ring: *is stuck on corpse*

Grave robbers: what the hell just cut off the whole finger

Harry S Truman: *walks into white house*

Eleanor Roosevelt: hey bro yeah sorry it’s such short notice but the president is dead and ur in charge now

Truman: wait what?!?

Random CIA agent: oh yeah also we’ve been making necular weapons and are about ready to yeet one off to Japan just FYI

Truman: ...

Truman: ...