#relatable thoughts

seriously ?

the last ep. is literally calling out people who enable and forgive toxic narcissistic men like him and yet what do i see ? people still fantasizing about him and people still on his side seeing him as the vicim.

ik an opinion can't be wrong or right but you people are awful and it makes me sick that you could still feel comfortable loving him and putting him on a pedestal especially after the last ep.

In the beginning I'll admit i did root for him ngl, but him killing Beck made me sad as I felt she didn't deserve it (bc hes crazy and obvi she didn't deserve it. NEWS FLASH: Murder was and always will be wrong 🤪) but then we met Love and i was accepting of him bc she was just like him and I thought they were soulmates and they were gonna give up they're murdering ways to be together forever. Of course, he wasn't in complete control anymore tho so he had to ruin that and kill her. (not saying she's completely innocent bc she did kill people too, but joe had manipulated her and broke her by the end of season 3, bc thats his pattern. he makes these women think that THEY'RE the villians in their story, and he gets to swoop in and save them)

After that, I was just watching, hoping to see if somebody was gonna kill him 🤷🏻‍♀️

What I’m looking for | Brunette Asian Girl

"Schoolgirl" - Dazai Osamu. {rated 4.79/5 by me}

The quotes which hit my conscience:

"Sometimes happiness arrives one night too late."

"Tomorrow will probably be another day like today. Happiness will never come my way. I know that. But it's probably best to go to sleep believing that it will surely come, tomorrow it will come."

"Nobody in the world understood our suffering. In time, when we became adults, we might look back on this pain and loneliness as a funny thing, perfectly ordinary, but—but how were we expected to get by, to get through this interminable period of time until that point when we were adults?"

"I smiled softly at the moon. The moon pretended not to see me."

"While I am perfectly aware of what I should do, I can't even utter the words. All I do is feel wretched, and in the end I fly into a rage—I mean, really, it's as if I were crazy."

"In my heart, I worry about Mother and want to be a good daughter, but my words and actions are nothing more than that of a spoiled child."

"The body had no connection to my mind, it developed on its own accord, which was unbearable and bewildering. It made me miserable that I was rapidly becoming an adult and that I was unable to do anything about it."

"I'll be a steady and frugal daughter. Really and truly. In spite of all that. "Oh, In Spite of All That"… wasn't that the name of a song, I chuckled to myself. At some point I realized I was standing there like an idiot, both hands idly thrust into the cooking pot, my thoughts ranging from one thing to another." - Dazai was a teen girl, u can't convince me other wise.

"It must be easier to relax when someone always told you who you are and what to do."

"If someone were to give me a particular limit to abide by—to start here and use this much effort and finish there—you have no idea how much it would assuage my mind."

""I want to love everyone," I thought, almost tearfully."

"I yearned for everything long gone."

"There is a certain satisfaction in being dragged around, as well as a separate sad feeling as I watch it happen."

"A mere smile can determine a woman's fate. It is frightening. Fascinatingly so. I have to be careful." -For a 30 year old suicidal and alcoholic man he knows better I must say.

"They scolded us for not having any real hopes or real ambitions, but if we were to pursue our true ideals, would these people watch and guide us along the way?"

"I hope for a revolution in ethics and morals."

"if my books were taken away from me, I would be utterly devastated. That's how much I depend on what's written in books. I'll read one book and be completely wild about it—I'll trust it, I'll assimilate it, I'll sympathize with it, I'll try to make it a part of my life. Then, I'll read another book and, instantly, I'll switch over to that one."

"The likable weeds and the not likable weeds looked exactly the same but were somehow clearly divided into those that seemed innocuous and those that seemed horrible."

"It felt as if the past, the present, and the future had collapsed into one single instant."

"At times like these, a strange hallucination always occurs. I would feel absolutely certain that, at some point before, under these very conditions, I've had the same conversation while, in fact, staring at the corner of the table and that what was happening now would continue to go on indefinitely, in exactly the same manner."

"When I'm eating alone in the dining room, I get this wild urge to travel. I want to get on a train."

"You couldn't see this embroidery when I put on the rest of my clothes. No one knew it was there. How brilliant." -Said all the hijabi girls ever.

"Sort of like opening a box, only to find another box inside, so you open that smaller box and again there's another box inside, and you open it, and one after another there are smaller boxes inside each other, so you keep opening them, seven or eight of them, until finally what's left is a tiny box the size of a small die, so you gently pry it open to find... nothing, it's empty—more like that feeling."

"I can't bear it. I hate it, I really do. I'm an awful sight in the morning. My legs feel so exhausted that, already, I don't want to do a thing. I wonder if it's because I don't sleep well. It's a lie when they say you feel healthy in the morning."

"Mornings are torture."

"I think the beauty of your eyes is the best thing about people. Even if they can't see your nose or if your mouth is hidden, I think that all you need are eyes—the kind of eyes that will inspire others, when they are looking into them, to live more beautifully."

"I hope I meet lots of people with lovely eyes."

"I cannot stand mornings because it seems I am always bleakly reminded of long-gone times, and people I used to know, and their presences feel eerily close, like the scent of pickled radish that you just can't get rid of."

Dedicated to all my lil guys, gals, and nonbinary pals. Some days are for being small.