#reishin

Artist credit: @gayugay1207

I am making a new pinned post to reflect my new url. My old blog name was Comrade-Emma, a reference to my favorite character from The Promised Neverland. Unfortunately there was a pedophile on Twitter and discord who also called themselves Comrade Emma and her username was comradepuppy69. A Zionist I have beef with, Pedro-friedeberg aka 2goldensnitches, was quick to assume I was the same person as that user despite me being younger by 3 years, I was born in 2004 whereas she lists her birth year as 2001, and having never created a twitter account as I hate Elon. She was accusing me of doing vile things and sharing it with other Zionists like Takashi0 so I have decided to change my username to make it clear I am not the same as that person as I have written posts about it but am concerned that it was not enough. I was basically forced to doxx myself thanks to this Zionist and her followers.

My new blog handle and pfp is meant to reflect my fondness for the character of Rei Ayanami and being a die hard defender of Reishin as my OTP. I consider myself a defense attorney for the ship from the common fandom objections that the ship is incest. On one hand, I am still very angry that I had to change my URL because of 2goldensnitches and to prove I’m not the same person as that twitter user but I do get the bonus of being able to be much more open about being an LRS stan.

The thing about Rei is that she’s never explicitly stated to be a clone at least in the original series, manga or Red Cross book. She’s described as a replica in the rebuilds which can mean something different. Shinji’s myopia stems from him believing the Rei he knew is gone as opposed to her being his sister. A lot of fans argue that she does not share much DNA with Shinji based on how much of Yui’s genetic material was actually used, whether it was contaminated by LCL, how much of her is angel vs human and the fact that the spin offs + the episode 26 AU don’t treat her as his sister. They never really talk about genetics or DNA when referring to Rei’s origins. She’s more akin to a genetic experiment designed to create the perfect human in Lilith’s soul vessel that was meant to have Yui’s face.

Something I’ve been thinking about is that people treat the reveal of Rei’s origins and the distress it causes Shinji as akin to Luke finding out Leia is his sister in Return of the Jedi. Adding Gendo having a similar motivation to Anakin in Revenge of The Sith may cause some to force Asuka and Rei into the roles of Mara Jade and Leia despite them barely having anything in common. I think rebuild did contribute to this + the fandom narrative that Reishin is escapism by describing her as a replica and the third film kind of seemed to backpedal after the first two seemed to be building up to a relationship. The fact that there are romantic hints even after the reveal also challenges the idea that it’s incest because they wouldn’t do that if it was going with the narrative of a relationship being immoral.

I bring up other ships when talking about Reishin because while I haven’t seen these arguments used against Reishin itself, I do see them used against pairings one could draw comparisons to. I don’t really watch Stranger Things but some have compared Mike/Eleven to Reishin and there have been a lot of takes which frame the former as a misogynistic “born sexy yesterday” fantasy and insist that Byler and Kawoshin are superior. I also think about the way it’s called sibling coded or akin to a mother-son ship as one fan compared it to Aang and Katara, a relationship that may have some maternal aspects but doesn’t exclude the possibility of intimacy. I think a lot about the feminist and progressive criticism those ships receive and how it can apply to Reishin which does get to me at times which is something I have to make peace with.

I mean, it was right in the proposal & ep 23 (or the EoE booklet for that matter... or like several pieces of tie-in music) were pretty clear as well, but it couldn't have been any clearer without heavy-handed cliches that wouldn't have fit the story or its spirit.

Some ppl's selective hearing is impenetrable, but I don't think we need to take them seriously no more.

It's certainly been amusing seeing all those ffs that instantly had both girls say "actually I meant the opposite / didn't mean it"

I mean we even have Miyamura on Record as stating that:

in the end, Rei is the person who moves Shinji in Shin Eva and no matter what Asuka says, it doesn’t get through to him

In the context of feeling sorry that Asuka 'lost out' (also in terms of how she kept losing the battles)

In a way that's also what the recent short was about (No, Asuka didn't lose out cause even if he was handed to her on a silver platter she wouldn't actually want him, it was always just a cope illusion thing to her, 'filling the void' with the nearest boy's attention.)

In an interview around of the time of EoE Ogata was asked which of the 2 girls he liked and their answer was "both but also neither" in the sense that his issues/ lack of trust gets in the way somewhat.

That's an idea that appears as early as the TV ending that his axiomatic self-hate keeps him from properly loving others because he can't trust them properly. It's not for nothing that Rei gets that line - she was probably where he got the closest.

He still absolutely drops the ball in that he's too scared to approach her & doesn't know what to think or feel after the big reveal. We can't blame him too much for being way too overwhelmed here, he had no reliable adults left to discuss it with. But in a way it's confirming her fear of "disappearing from the minds of others if another exists", that she will no longer be seen as just herself if her unnatural origins become known.

This is further expounded upon in EoE's train scene (Where Rei actually gets a lot of the dialogue about how "the truth hurts sometimes")

It's a callback to the bit from ep 16 where Shinji talks about how he just desperately wants ppl to show him kindness, but even when kindness is shown to him, he can't really trust it; He thinks the ladies in his life must be secretly laughing at him or will stop wanting him, & so it frustrates him that he can't know everything about them & that they have strange & complicated problems & needs or sides to themselves that he can't completely predict.

He can't handle the complicatedness of them & that he can't 100% understand them because it leaves room for him to fear rejection, basically. (sort of what you might call anxious attachment)

It doesn't help that they each have their own shortcomings & hangups that leave room for doubt. (But note that even when Kaworu comes in & outright says without any ambiguity that he likes Shinji, that results in him feeling unworthy of it & getting a huge inferiority complex over Kaworu.)

It wasn't that no on cared about Shinji - there were 3 ppl full on willing to die for him. All the love in the world can't help you if you're not open to receiving or believing it.

In the end though Rei (and Kaworu; we're mostly going with the 'friendship' reading for the purposes of this essay) are the main reasons that he decides to come back, as they represent his hope that interactions with other people can be positive as well, that something good came come out at the other side of the effort. (even if he acknowledges that this doesn't make pain any less inevitable, it's a 'prayer' but no guarantee)

Rei & Kaworu themselves are tragically lost in this timeline (though they at least managed to go out on their own terms), so Shinji has the abstract hope that maybe understanding & affection will be found with others in the future, though they, in particular, may not necessarily return.

Though it is the opposite conclusion as Gendo (who had one good experience in a shitty life & after he lost it decided that all must burn when he lost that, rather than taking it to mean that good experiences are possible)

Which gets us to the Rebuilds & specifically how the 4th Rebuild continues that thread about receiving kindness.

In many ways EoE was calculated to push the characters to the breaking point to provide that "thermodynamic equilibrium" type of catharsis where everything is left to escalate & explore & the blorbos get cracked like geodes to reveal what's inside of them.

But the sting comes precisely, in part, from how "the end of all things could have looked different" as Asuka says at the end of ep 25.

We see Shinji repeatedly ragequit & sulk after things go wrong, but just as often he eventually got his act together & came back - ep 1, ep 4, ep 19 etc etc.

In large parts EoE turns out the way it does because the Promised Day happens right after Kaworu's Death.

In the same way, TuaT turns out the way it does because Shinji actually gets some decompression time, so that a complementary different part of the characters' potential can be realized.

In particular, we see that, given time, Shinji could actually come to actually accept Rei as she is, & in effect scratch the "...but also not" from the question of if he likes her.

The movie ultimately comes down very heavily on the side that "there is only 1 Ayanami Rei", but that was something that she herself needed to figure out by allowing it to be an open question for a bit & going on her own journey by joining the village community, being adopted by the Suzuharas etc.

I appreciate that they keep her retaining the same basic personality type at all times, she doesn't suddenly become super extroverted or anything (something which I'd often found lacking in FFs)

I also like that the reveal of the pilots' predetermined fates & behavior was actually left to Rei herself to process, rather than dumped on Shinji as a "punishment" (I always disliked the idea in some corners of the fandom that using a female character as a "trap" to punish a dude is somehow feminist)

In the OG there was (as mentioned in some interviews) the idea that Rei & Shinji sort of mirror each other's conscious/unconscious; Shinji acts like he's trying to get ppl's love but carries inward resignation; Rei acts in total fatalistic resignation, but inwardly carried hidden loneliness.

Though Shinji could be seen at a midway point between Rei's resignation and Asuka's self-sustaining delusions of grandeur / false optimism. Because he's ambivalent & can't quite stick to one or the other cope, his suffering is much more outwardly visible, hence why he's the one Misato is typically worried about whereas ep 17 suggests she thinks Asuka & Rei are basically fine; As we see in ep 26 they're all kind of in the same boat of "I have nothing else".

In the last movie this has all somewhat reversed - Shinji is the one who outwardly lost the will to live whereas we see Rei curiously explore the village (but the same ying/yang mechanism that Shinji gradually starts to share that same hope on the inside, & Rei still expect she'll just die once her time is up - it doesn't even occur to her to ask anyone for help. )

We also see Rei seeming more hopeful & Asuka being cynical. But it's no mere swap: Asuka's youthful hubris has been thoroughly crushed & this has left her a bitter, scarred veteran, but despite her cynicism she still tries to protect the village, showing a responsibility her younger self never possessed.

So we have naive optimist Asuka who threw a tantrum the moment things got tough going to a mature cynic who keeps fighting even though everything's shitty & protects things beyond herself.

Whereas Rei who used to be the resigned pessimist comes to a hopefulness that's however also more genuine & founded in increasing self-knowledge. Rather than overthink it or be thrown into an existential crisis, she decides not to overthink of question her feelings because they make her happy.

Both always had the seeds of this - Asuka always wanted to be a hero even if she got side-tracked into vainglorious coping due to being starved for love/attention.

& Rei always had a particular undisguised sincerity to her (often noted by her VA as the 'beauty' of her character) but she blew up before this could really blossom.

The common pattern with all 3 is that 2.0 showed them going into a novel direction of growth, then Q made it seem like a wrench was thrown in it / like it was all for nothing, but then we see in TuaT that a dent was made after all, which eventually allowed for their liberation.

(until the short I didn't realize how much Asuka's EVA 03 speech actually ultimately foreshadows her shift towards a "heroic protector" type character)

This is also done with environment. 2.0 shows the preservation efforts, Q shows it all destroyed like everything was in vain (though stray flowers pop up here & there), but then TuaT shows life enduring at the village & in the end the earth is in fact restored.

The message is probably to keep pushing on on the path to growth through further tests & hardships & the initial "UGH" of trying the thing you were scared of & not immediately succeeding.

But back to Rei.

Rei is shown in hindsight to have been the wisest of the pilots in that she realized that freedom lies in letting go of the Evas, but she never thought that could be possible for her, too. (as she still retains her fatalistic resignation) - still her time at the village is what eventually allows her to realize that she can actually be free, too & find a place she belongs.

Another recurring motif for Rei is the idea of not beloging in the world or having no place in it, this sort of schizoid-esque feeling of alienation. It's stated right away in saying she has no place outside of being a pilot (further elaborated in the rebuild elevator where she says Eva is the only thing that lets her connect with the world in any way) - in the classic series, we sort of get the 'Last Unicorn' ending where she must irrevocably return whence she came (resigns herself to belonging with Lillith as her 'home') but is at least irrevocably changed by her time on earth - in the end Lillth takes Rei's shape, & ascends to grant Rei's purpose to help someone she cared about.

It's very important to have these sort of tragic stories because sometimes you feel you can't ever "win" but you at least want to feel like the small difference you made mattered. "the love was there, it didn't save anyone, there were just too many forces against it, but it still mattered" (which is what the ppl who ridicule her as "not making a real choice" or expecting her to do some silly power fantasy thing don't get. Not everybody GETS choices. )

But exty years later Anno was at a point where he could see Rei (& maybe the part of him that she came from) actually finding a place in the world. The idea comes up in the fishtank scene where she says she can "only live in here" (a line that is echoed at the end after she gets nommed by zeruel)

Her time at the village is spent still believing that she can't ever stay/belong, but it allows her to cme to know that she WANTS to stay (rather than having nothing to live for / just wanting the relief of it all being over)

The sequences are full of little callbacks to previous tidbits (which we may think of as Rei gradually coming to 'remember' at least on a soul level)

One thing she explicitly learns is to name her feelings (as she says "I like it here and I'm glad that I know that I like it") - in the OG series part of the big tragedy (as highlighted by the EoE booklet) is that she ended up blowing herself up before she could express what she wanted to say.

So it's really the being able to express them that's the big point.

Even if Shinji were to turn her down (say, because we're going with th romantic reading of the Kaworu thing) her happy ending would be pretty intact because the expression is the victory (& she has a brand new adopted family to comfort her & live a happy life with)

But you get why it infuriates me when ppl "no she's too dumb to know what she means".

Since we arrive at the conclusion that it's the same Rei (visually underlined by the suit turning white - Shinji realizing that this is the same girl from the beginning saying those words to him) we must see her arc here as a straightforward continuation of the previous movies.

For the longest time Shinji made a consistent, continued effort to connect with her & pay attention to her (even noting what she reads, her decor tastes etc.) so now that he's having his own "darkest hours", she's effeectively returning the favor and refusing to give up on him /staying with him in his darkest hour.

Because of her particular sincerity, (but crucially as a result / repayment of his previous efforts) she is the one who actually gets it through into his thick skull that people (not just her but like Touji & Kensuke) actually care about him. ("Why are you all being so nice to me?" "Because we all like you")

Once again she is a huge part of the reason he decides to stay & get his act together (not to diminish the importance of Touji, Kensuke or Kaworu, of course)

When he gets on the Wunder he determinedly looks at the player & thinks of her, indeed the player (which was kind of used as symbolic of Shinji's self-worth) turns out to be the "key" to defeat Gendo. Several times Shinji was about to throw it away when he was intending to give up & quit, but Rei (and Kaworu, too, one time) picked it up & treasured it; Treating it like something valuable.

In a callback to the TV ending ("Why don't you go to where your father is? - Because I'll be disliked") he states he was afraid of confronting Gendo because he was afraid of being disliked; But because he's gotten stronger & because he's got other ppl who cared about him & treated him like he matters (until he started believing it), he can now confront whatever Gendo's opinion happens to be without being obliterated (& hence talk him down/confront him)

Just before he confronts Gendo he sees a flashback of Touji & Kensuke (whose example inspired him) & last of all, Rei. (who is in color here)

I think most agree that the reunion scene could have used a bit more room to breathe; But nonetheless we see it very visually confirmed that "Rei is a human being" (see Mari's & Asuka's earlier talk about the symbolism & the hair) & that she was worth saving after all.

Fitting for the dualism between the two their instrumentality sequence is essentially shared, in that it's his one as much as hers & comes with the joint decision to live without relying on EVA.

One underrated detail is how he repays her for 'past debts' - the handshake & 'thank you' obviously mirror EoE, but he also tells her that everything will be fine & Mari will come bring him back.

But crucially: He doesn't believe this yet. He doesn't wait for Mari at all. Maybe he doesn't think WILLE will actually spare someone to save him. He would've speared himself if not for his parents taking responsibility for once in their damn lives. He's shocked when Mari actually shows up. (it's implied by the shift to the "future" scenery that he only then really started believing that he could have a future, too)

I think the whole movie would be a lot weaker without that detail; He didn't magically become super tuff, he's taking a leap of faith & forcing himself to keep going through the awful/ hopeless looking straits (& eventually the rest of the world does respond to his efforts)

So he was actually putting on a brave face for Rei so she'd agree to leave without him, fully intending to take the spear in her place. (fitting for her role as representing 'hope') - in the end that hope/prayer does come true since Mari does show up to bring him back.

At that point they don't actually have to show them reuniting (because everything that needs to be said has to be said and an open-ish ending better fits the point that they now get to have their own open future free of fixed "destiny") but Rei probably popped up near Hikari's house, where, after happy reunions with the Suzuharas were had, I assume she patiently waited for Mari to deliver an alive Shinji.