#refsyousuck

you’re right about “You like Jamie about as much as anyone could like Jamie” being somewhat sarcastic. i really wanted to nail a feeling of matt not vibing with jamie but wishing he was trevor’s jamie. it’s more apathy, or feigning apathy, then it is actual dislike. he’s not even sure how he feels, just that he gets lonelier when jamie is around. and like. remps wants to be closer to z but theres a physical and emotional detachment between them that’s buried under their manufactured happenstance. where remps can never get what he wants with z unless they’re playing pretend, and even then he still doesn’t get what he wants and he’s embarrassed himself for nothing. and jamie is always there, if not physically then spiritually, through trevor’s words and actions. being a mile marker, always pitting remps against him.

there were about 1k additional words that i wrote that didn’t make the final cut, with a lot more jamie/remps comparisons where its clearer that z will always, always compare the two of them to each other and jamie will always be favorable but i decided i wanted to cut the fic shorter and leave it more ambiguous on whether or not they were going to do anything. here’s probably the most interesting part re: jamie that got cut.