16/11/2017 - Self-reflection
Today in class we finished off our design process and assessed each otherās work. I found this really difficult to do as I was personally impressed with the work I saw however my job was toĀ look beyond that and acknowledge if the boxes have been ticked. It was also nerve wrecking having to score peers work in front of them. I did find this task incredibly valuable, as this now gives me a new way at looking at my work. Before I knew my aim was to get above 80% but I never fully understood the criteria. I feel confident that I have a much clearer understanding in how I am to achieve these results now. I understand what I need to make sure is clear. It has helped me realize that although it would be lovely to be producing really high quality work and the beautiful sketchbooks you see on social media or the kind of work professional artist produce, I donāt necessary need the skills just yet. My effort will be taken into account and hopefully as the years go by, a natural improvement will occur.Ā I was confused with the result of my group. We knew we hadnāt done well, we had minimal details and had struggled producing our final idea as once we started we realized it wasnāt going to look how we had it visioned. We also didnāt communicate too well as a group, our opinions and way of working was different to each other - as was our vision. I feel this resulted in a lot of unnecessary delays. We could have also arranged as a group to work on the piece outside of class hours but this is something that wasnāt agreed upon. Despite this we scored a very mix grades. Jenna later explained this to be because visually it looked impressive but the information was not. This was the main point I took with me today and definitely something I am going to explore more.
I still find working in groups very challenging, even though it is something I enjoy at the same time. I find it very difficult as a self-confessed people pleaser and perfectionist to really get that balance right. My ideal would be to be a natural leader however I feel really bad taking charger. I think it is is vital for any group to have some kind of leader. Things donāt tend to get done or run as smoothly otherwise. Within my group I had two parentās and someone who worked. I admit that this annoyed me, privately I wasnāt happy as I wanted to work on this outside of the class time and no one else could. I understand fully which is why I am also ashamed of myself for being so judgmental. Life is more than just work and I know myself that everyone has alternative commitments, I myself fall into the same categorize. Alternatively I could have assembled mini task for us all to do. This meant I could have focused solely on mine and not think or worry about anything else. It also would have even the work load out and helped the group be more organized. OnĀ the day we where very panicked and unfocused. Not entirely sure what we are doing. It probably didnāt help that none of us were invested in our work anymore because it has not come out the way planned. This way of working was actually beneficial for me. In my personal practice I would keep changing subject until it wasĀ āperfectā leading to me rushing the day before deadline. The outcome of the feedback has shown me that it is okay to still run with a bad idea. From this experience I has learnt further more the importance of leadership. I am still not sure how I am to learn how to have these skills but I hope to be able to speak to my tutors about it and other friends. I will obviously be getting myself to a library to find a leadership book. It may even be worth during my next project to ask the group if they are okay with me being the leader or see if someone else wants to be the leader. My goal is to be able to feel okay with whoever I work with, even if we have major differences. I try my best to keep the peace but I think at times I might need to be firmer with people, particularly ones who struggle without a leader. This is definitely something I plan to work on further on.
