#reesker

They had been yelling for a while, to the point where Sarah expected someone from PD to come banging on the door about a noise complaint. Ava had backed herself into the wall beside her fishtank, mirroring Sarah’s closed off body language that urged her to stay back. Startled eyes tracked her every movement, noting every shift and step the other woman took.

She wasn’t sure how this argument started, just like everyone before it. Sarah had let herself in with a huff, tossing her keys onto the coffee table and not bothering to pick them up when they slipped onto the pristine grey carpet. That’s where her eyes stayed frozen as she looked for words, searching for a way to convey what she wanted.

“You keep me isolated,” Ava’s whisper was barely audible, “When was the last time I went out with friends? The last time I met up with you and your friends? I don’t have anyone but you in Chicago, Sarah, and part of me wonders if you wanted to keep it that way!”

“Don’t you dare say that,” Sarah spat, “Your inability to make friends is not my fault at all.”

“Right, so the way no one ever thinks to acknowledge me when they invite you out right in front of me, that’s all coincidence?’

Sarah scoffed, “Well I think your totally approachable personality could be to blame, Ava.”

“I have a personality disorder, Sarah!” Ava’s tone matched hers as she uncrossed her arms, visibly shaking. She was looking at her girlfriend in disbelief, wondering where on earth the understanding, loving woman she knew went in all of this.

“That doesn’t excuse anything.”

“I never said it did. It’s an explanation, Sarah, not an excuse. You know how hard I have worked to be better socially, you know I’m trying. You of all people would know…”

Sarah ignored the way she blinked rapidly, if she did she might lose her courage. If she acknowledged the hurt in her girlfriend’s watery eyes, she might drop the subject and then the cycle would begin anew. Love and care turning to small conflicts and then even bigger meltdowns. It wouldn’t change, it wouldn’t stop; not unless Sarah fought back.

“They’ve noticed.”

“What?”

Sarah never once met her gaze, “At the hospital, they talk. They talk about how you act and how unfeeling you are. They wonder if you care about anyone but yourself. Your fights with Connor, your involvement with his dad. People have been talking for months.”

“I never did anything with Cornelius-”

“I’m not finished,” she said firmly, “They’ve talked to me, Ava. They ask if everything is okay at home. We say we’re dating but they never see us outside of work, not together. Some of the nurses ask if I’m okay, if there’s something wrong in our relationship.”

“I didn’t think anything was wrong… We just don’t do PDA, we aren’t those people. Sarah you know I never did anything with Connor’s dad and my relationship with Connor was a mutual issue. I’m not unfeeling, you know better than anyone that I feel too much. It’s why I have to depersonalize at work, otherwise I will break down.”

“Ava, I have been researching,” Sarah sighed, “Cluster B disorders… I think you were misdiagnosed.”

“Sarah Reese, I know what you’re thinking. Don’t you dare say it.”

Unruly curls bounced as she shook her head rapidly, mind racing too much to listen for the hurt in Ava’s voice. She had poured over countless journals and information for months, asking every psychiatrist she knew for information. Her notebook was littered with notes, messy beyond legibility for anyone else, all citing experiences she had recalled. Sarah had even reached out to her mom, something she never did anymore, asking for stories about her dad. She recited every observed behaviour and memory she had about the two of them, Ava and her dad, long enough that a connection bloomed in her mind.

“Your behaviour is concerning,” she started, “I can’t ignore it anymore, Ava. I wonder if you feel anything, really, because it doesn’t seem like it sometimes. I don’t want to believe you’re lying to me but that's all I can think now. Is all of it made up, do you really love me?”

“Sarah, I care about you so-”

Can you really love me? I think I have a habit of finding people who remind me of the man I grew up without… I begin to wonder if the pattern has any substance. The way you act, some of the things you’ve said, it doesn’t add up. I don’t think you’re borderline, Ava, I think you have ASPD.”

“Sarah,” tears had started tracking down Ava’s cheeks as the pain bubbled in her chest, “Don’t say that. You can’t diagnose me. I have trauma, I have all the markers of BPD and OCD. I was diagnosed after the last incident in my twenties, you know that; you read my notes. What are you even saying?”

“I’m saying people are asking if you abuse me emotionally,” Sarah’s voice was unlike she had ever heard before, cold and ripping at her heart like daggers, “My mind keeps comparing you to my dad and it all makes sense now. I’m saying I am starting to believe what they said may be true. I think maybe I flock to abusers with pretty words and lies-”

“No!” Ava’s scream rang through her apartment, punctuated by a thud as she backed into the wall again. Tears were freefalling down her face and leaving clumps of mascara behind, highlighting the agony she felt as she was staring at the woman she loved. Her hands shook violently as she tried to channel everything she felt into a feasible emotion, feeling like everything would bubble up until it exploded.

“You- you don’t get to call me that! After everything… How fucking dare you, Sarah? A-after I tried so hard, for years, to not become like the people who hurt me. You can call me a lot of things but psychopath? Abuser? I would never hurt you, and certainly not like this.”

“Ava, the research shows-”

“You look stunning.” A grin gets sent Sarah’s way once she approaches her awaiting partner, anxiety sitting painfully in her stomach as she takes Ava in. Her dress is much more modest than Sarah’s is, gold jewelry laid over her neck to match the clip she has holding her short hair back, her makeup is light and shines under the overhead lights. She looks like any normal bride, happy and excited about her marriage, not like she drugged Sarah to get her here and like the chains still clanking at her ankles weren’t put there by Ava herself.

“Do you two have vows prepared?” Connor meets Sarah’s eyes with his own fearful look, she can’t see but she assumes he has chains around his ankles the same way Sarah does. The same way they all do: April, Natalie, Noah, Ethan, Will, even Maggie. They still look more drugged than Sarah herself is, she’s been here the longest, at the apartment complex that Ava bought but uses as her personal prison for her past coworkers.

“Sarah, the light of my life, you were perfect the minute I laid my eyes on you. You were everything I ever wanted, I knew I had to have you.” Her hands get taken into Ava’s, it makes her body shiver but she musters the best smile she can. Fighting only leads to punishment and Sarah can’t sit through another day of being strapped to the medical table in that cold room she could throw up thinking about.

“What the hells going on?!” Will yells and cuts through the quietness of the room, it startles the others more awake, the redhead pulling at the ties that hold his hands behind the chair he’s sat in.

Sarah hates to see him struggle, she wants to tell him it’s okay, that if he goes along they’ll make it out okay, but the man who walked Sarah down the aisle is moving towards Will before she can. His hands are on Halstead’s shoulders, holding him down with a grunt about staying quiet during the ceremony. Reese isn’t sure how Ava knows him, how he became apart of this, but she doesn’t think it’s by his own free will.

“No more interruptions! Today is a special day, a day for me and Sarah.” Ava shouts the first words but drops her tone to something softer. It’d almost sound sweet if Sarah didn’t know how her mood changes within seconds and how she might be plunging a knife into Reese’s skin if she’s not careful.

“Ava, what are you doing? Can’t we talk about this?” Natalie pips up with her voice shaking but that signature Natalie type of care showing through, she’s always been so hopeful.

“There’s nothing to talk about, me and Sarah love each other, we’re getting married.” One of Ava’s hands moves to brush against Sarah’s skin, Reese almost starts to cry. She feels so empty staring back into someone she once considered a close friend who know seems like a complete stranger.

“Sweetheart…” The dark haired girl trails off, looking helplessly at Sarah before turning her head towards where Will is still being whisper-yelled at by the man Sarah’s yet to hear name for.

“Will it’s okay, it’s alright.” Reese calls out as assuringly as she can, watching him continue to struggle is making her chest ache, and she knows Ava won’t tolerate it much longer.

“Kevin’s a cop, he’s going to have his unit looking for him. The people at the hospital are going to look for us.” Halstead ignores Sarah’s pleads to instead start shouting at Ava, an almost frantic tone in his voice.

“Nobody will be looking for Kevin since he quit his job, and so did you all, such a shame Goodwin wouldn’t pay you better wages. Nobody will notice you’re gone.” Even if Sarah has heard it all before, it still makes her stomach churn.

“And don’t worry Natalie, sweet little Owen is staying with his grandmother while you take some time to clear your head.” That eases Sarah as much as it does Manning, she hadn’t heard Ava mention Owen till now but it had been a constant question in the back of her mind.

Criminal Minds

Emily Prentiss x reader

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Chicago Med

Med sideblog @lumosreese

Sarah Reese x Ava Bekker

Voight raised an eyebrow at you and Erin as the two of you walked in. Erin was laughing at you downing your coffee, watching you throw the empty cup in the bin before the two of you headed up to Intelligence.

"Lindsay really likes S/n apparently. Gossip is, S/n is adamant they won't date anyone, but the betting pool says otherwise." Platt explained to Voight, who just huffed in amusement.

///

You weren't entirely sure how Erin was learning what your favourite things were. First it was your coffee order and favourite doughnut.

Then she knew your favourite pizza toppings at game night at Kim's.

"So, pizza? What toppings are we talking? Pepperoni, Hawaiian, mushrooms, little bit of everything?" Kim began to ramble off the list, leaving you to just stare at her whilst Erin chuckled, asking whether you would be having the topics you knew were your favourite.

"How did you-"

"Lucky guess." Erin grinned, winking at you as you reached for your drink, immediately downing it as Kim gave you a confused look.

///

"So I'm not sure who they were asking for, but it definitely wasn't me that parked in their spot, y'know-" You were walking into Intelligence with Adam and Kim when Kevin caught your attention.

"What's up, Kev?" You enquired, tilting your head to the side as Kevin nodded towards your desk.

"I swear, if someone spilled coffee on my desk again, you will find all your pens missing- what?" You murmured, cutting yourself off as you spotted the bouquet of flowers on the desk. Flowers that were significant to you.

"Oooh someone's got an admirer!" Kim teased, nudging you as you cleared your throat, brushing off her teasing so you could look at the tag.

"So, who's it from?" Kim asked, leaving you to hide the tag from her.

"Someone..." You replied, slipping the tag into the inside pocket of your jacket as you felt eyes burn into the side of your face.

///

"So, what's conflicting you?" A voice asked, leaving you to glance up from your drink.

"What makes you think I'm being conflicted, Doctor Bekker?" You retorted, sipping your drink whilst mantaining her gaze as Ava rolled her eyes.

"Because you're not at Molly's. You're instead avoiding that detective you work with because she likes you. That conflicts you because you were so adamant after your last relationship that you wouldn't date anyone."

"Wow... for a moment I thought you were Doctor Reese. You two have been getting cosy for a while now... I ship it." You teased, leaving Ava to roll her eyes again.

"Okay, instead of shifting the conversation onto my relationship, how about we talk about your potential one with Detective Lindsay." Ava replied, ordering a drink as you just sighed.

"You already summarised it as 'I was so adamant after my last relationship that I wouldn't date anyone' and then Erin turns up with my coffee order and favourite doughnuts and drives me to work, she knew my favourite pizza toppings at game night at Kim's, she even got me flowers." You replied, pulling out a pressed version of the flowers Erin had got you from your phone case.

"Wait, the type of flowers that..."

"Yeah, I don't know how she knew, but she knew... on the anniversary too." You replied, downing your drink so you didn't start crying.

"You could take a chance on her, you know." Ava suggested, giving you a look as you huffed, trying to hide how much your face felt like it was burning.

"Well, she broke down some of your walls at least, seeing as you look flustered right now." Ava teased, poking your cheek as you glared at her.

"Whatever. I need time to think about it." You replied, your gaze shifting to the bar as Ava just sighed, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze with her hand as her phone pinged.

"Erin already treats you better than your ex ever did, Y/n. Remember to keep that in mind... do you want a lift home? Sarah's waiting outside." Ava asked, leaving you to nod as you paid your bill and got ready to leave.

"Hey Y/n, babe." Sarah smiled as you slipped into the backseat, leaving Ava to slip into the passenger side, kissing Sarah on the cheek as she sat down.

///

"Erin, can I talk to you after work?" Your voice had Erin pause in her path on the way to her desk.

"Sure. Is everything okay?" Erin enquired, only gaining a half shrug from you as Voight walked in with a case.

///

"So, Y/n, what did you want to talk about? Are you alright?" Erin's voice snapped you out of your staring contest with your locker as she approached.

"Can we talk at my apartment?" Your voice cracking had Erin's smile fade, a serious look in her face as she just nodded, grabbing her stuff to go.

///

Flicking your keys into the tray after locking the door, you felt Erin's presence as she walked around your living room, following you to the kitchen as you opened the fridge.

"So..." Erin began, pausing as she spotted a photo frame of you, Ava and Sarah from last June, at the Chicago Pride Parade.

"Um... I need to know this first, but, all that flirting and the nice things you've been doing for me, those are because you like me, right? It's not something else... I'm asking because I was so adamant after what happened with my last relationship that I wouldn't date anyone but... I like you, Erin... and that scares me." You avoided Erin's eyes by fiddling with the closest cushion on your couch.

"I do like you, Y/n. I like you because you're you, it's not for some manipulation or ulterior motive and I'm not going to treat you like you were treated in your last relationship. I'd treat you right, if you let me." Erin began, walking over to you so she could take your hands from the cushion.

Erin's eyes widened as you finally met her gaze, staring into your soul via teary e/c eyes.

"Do you really mean that?" Your voice rasped, leaving you to grimace whilst a rebellious tear made it's way down your face.

"Yeah, I do, Y/n, I really do." Erin replied, gently wiping away the tear from your face before you pushed yourself forwards and into her arms.