Mia crashed hard the night after the fire and slept through half the next day. Her throat still felt raw from the smoke, her muscles aching from the effort of helping drunks out of the building. Nobody had been seriously hurt. Her father would have been proud, and that stung more than the fresh burn on her arm. She could feel it closing in on her as she paced around her empty room. Without a shift to work that evening, she felt restless and adrift, and the longing to be out of Sallow Hills was stronger than ever--as was the bitter knowledge that she truly was stuck here.

She made regular use of the gym in town, but as long as the weather cooperated, she preferred the woods. It was quieter and had less traffic, with one or two obvious exceptions. Steve and Bucky knew where she trained and sometimes stopped by to say hello when they heard her out there. She'd been methodically shooting arrows and throwing knives for at least an hour, her muscles burning in protest, before her feelings finally caught up with her. The Prince was gone. Her dad was gone. Her hopes of getting back to her brother again might as well be gone too.

She'd have denied sitting on the freezing ground and sobbing like a child to anyone who asked, but she was too deep in her meltdown to even look up at the sound of footsteps. She had no doubt Bucky could sneak up on her if he wanted, and she recognized his deliberate steps. If someone had to witness her falling apart, he was probably the least offensive option. There was something dadlike about both of the soldier mechanics, and she had a feeling they would have made easy friends with Oliver.

--

He’d been concerned after the fire at the Prince, glad to know that Mia hadn’t been seriously physically hurt. The rest was up for debate, but he doubted that she would really show anyone that she was hurting if she could avoid it. With what he’d learned of her, he figured that she would make her way to the woods when the lack of a work shift got to her, so he made his way where he knew he would find her.

The sound of sobbing made his heart wrench, but he didn’t quicken his steps in worry. It would do no good here. Instead, he made himself absolutely, clearly known, taking careful steps that made noises with each one that she would hear. He made his way to her and crouched down in front of her, within reach but not invading her space.

“I’m here,” was all he said, but he knew it was probably all that he actually needed to say. It wasn’t a small offer, not when he was making it. Slowly, he reached out to brush a hand lightly over her hair with a soft question, “May I?”

--

She hadn't expected it to hit her so hard. It shouldn't hurt so much to lose some random job in a town she didn't even want to stay in, but Mia knew it was more than that to her. The Prince was the only place in Sallow Hills where she really felt like herself and like no one expected anything different from her. She didn't have to pretend to be happy or heroic or anything else.

She also knew that if that was the only thing, she wouldn't be crying about it. This had much more to do with Oliver than it did with the fire. Everything she hadn't allowed herself to feel since the funeral was welling up inside of her, sharp-edged and ugly. It refused to be shoved back down again, even when he knelt in front of her.

If anything, the offer just made her cry harder. She nodded without looking up, not moving out from under that soft touch. She hadn't given Bucky--or anyone here--any reason to be that kind to her. She didn't deserve it, but she didn't have the energy to keep pushing everyone away right now.

--

His heart ached for her, the normally angry and fierce young woman finally letting herself feel something. It was hard to hold up a front sometimes, and all it ever took was one real trigger. He’d had his own meltdowns in similar fashion. All the physical exertion and ignoring it in the world wouldn’t help for long.

Seeing her nod, he shifted to sit next to her, his hand never breaking contact with her. “Come here,” he murmured, his hand drifting softly over her hair in comfort. He had done it before with Rey, and long, long ago with his sister. Everyone needed a safe place and a person to turn to. If she was going to let him be that for her, even for a moment, he would.

--

Mia could handle a lot, but someone being kind to her in the middle of her breakdown wasn't one of those things. If he'd yelled at her, she could have gotten angry, and that would have been so much easier. Instead, she just had to feel this, all the way through. She leaned against him, tucking her face into his shoulder as she cried. She imagined it was how being comforted by a dad would feel, but she wouldn't know. Oliver hadn't been there for most of her life, and never for anything like this.

There was something black and awful rising up in her, the source of all this pain. She couldn't stop it from coming out, but still, it felt like choking on the words, like she was pulling out something sharp that had been lodged deep for a long time. Nevermind that she'd never once mentioned the Green Arrow to anyone in Sallow Hills, and there was no context for this conversation. Then again, Mia had daddy issues written all over her.

"Why did he have to die?" she sobbed, clinging to him. "I just got him back. Why did he care more about being a hero than being my dad? He'd rather die for the whole world than stay alive for me." She wasn't being fair; she knew that. A whole world against one sad little girl would never balance. But he'd always made that choice. It was the reason she'd grown up without him. Why did it always have to be him? Why couldn't he choose her, just once?

--

He waited patiently for her to choose to curl into him, hoping she would take at least some of the comfort he was willing to give her. When she tucked her face into his shoulder, his arm slid around her while the other slid over her hair. It wouldn’t surprise him to learn just how much she had buried, how much she hadn’t really dealt with. Trauma was nothing easy to process even if you wanted to.

Staying silent, he let her get it out, just making sure he held tight to her. Sometimes the hardest thing to process was someone actually being there for you when you weren’t used to it. His throat went tight with the realization that she was the daughter of someone like Steve, someone so good that they made the hard sacrifices. It made him that more determined to stay as retired as the universe would let them.

“I’m sure he wanted to be with you, sweetheart, more than anything. But if the choice was him or you, that’s no choice,” the words were a soft murmur into her hair. “He chose you, in the hardest way, I bet. I’m sorry he’s not with you. It isn’t fair to you, at all.”

--

Even if Mia had wanted to face this, there hadn't been time. She'd barely made it through Oliver's funeral before she was here. She'd thrown all her energy into escaping instead of grieving, and she'd failed at both. It should have been William and her mom, all of them holding each other other through this. Instead, she was at the mercy of kind strangers, but at least they were kind.

Steve and Bucky had hero type written all over them, Steve especially. It had made her resistant to their offers of friendship, but it was really hard not to like them, even for Mia who didn't want to like anyone. "He never chose me. It wasn’t supposed to be him. Someone else could have..." It came out a broken sob because even Mia knew it couldn't have been anyone else. It was why she hated the whole hero deal. They were made like that, so ready to die for the right cause instead of living for their families.

"I barely got to know him," she whispered, wiping away tears with the back of her hand, more seeping out to take their place. "He died when I was a kid. When my brother and I got sent back, I thought maybe..." She thought maybe they'd have a chance to change it, and they had. Everything had changed, except that. Even venturing into Purgatory for Oliver's soul hadn’t changed anything in the end. "I thought we could be a family."

--

His heart ached harder for her and it made him selfishly glad that he and Steve hadn't had the opportunity for anything like a family until they were all but forced into retirement by a bubbled town in Wales. She deserved to have her actual family to grieve with her, rather than someone she didn't want around, but he was who was there. The least he could do was grieve for her and support her however much she might let him.

"What would the world, your life, have become if he hadn't?" The question was soft and careful, wanting to try and figure out how best to help get her through this. He knew that he would sacrifice himself time and time again for the people he loved if it meant their world stayed intact and safe, that they stayed safe.

After fighting her way into some money, finding a place to sleep, and hurling herself at the barrier a few more times, Mia found her way to Hills Hunting. This town seemed more sleepy and weird than actually dangerous, but she didn't know who or what had brought her here, and she'd feel safer if she was armed with more than the couple of knives she'd had on her. It took most of her money to buy a bow and a better set of throwing knives (that she didn't exactly need but had sort of fallen in love with), but she'd prefer to have something reliable and lasting. She could earn it back the same way she had the first time, and not having to pay for a room would help. She hoped not to be here much longer than that.

New weapons meant getting a feel for them, so she found a clearing out in the woods and set herself to several hours of relentless target practice. Her bow at home was better, but this would do for now, and she wanted to know the exact shape and feel and give of it by the time she left the trees. The knives were easier, a kind of present to herself for hard work. When she heard someone approaching, she didn't think; she just turned and threw one all in the same motion. She wasn't aiming for him but the tree next to him, a warning that next time she wouldn't miss if he tried to come any closer.

--

Bucky didn’t have quite the problem with restlessness that Steve did, but there were times when it kicked in. He didn’t run, that’s was Steve’s schtick, but he wandered the woods, the edge of the water. Exploring and seeing what could be seen, what happened when he was still enough for things to feel comfortable coming near, it was fascinating and a little fun for him. Part of the appeal was how rarely he came across people during these particular wanderings.

The familiar twang of a bow string had him tipping his head in curiosity and he couldn’t help but follow the sound carefully. Stealth could have been his top priority, but he wasn’t up for surprising anyone. Hearing the sing of metal, he sighed and decided to make a point. His hand shot up, the flesh one, not metal, and caught the dagger at its hilt, tossing it to study it and test its weight.

“Not bad,” he murmured, flipping it in his hand and holding it out as he walked closer, his other hand helped up in a gesture for peace. The look on her face was familiar in a way and he tipped his head to study her. “You know, you can do this in a place in town, too, right?”

--

Nobody human could have caught that knife, and she went still and wary, wondering if she should bolt. She'd be faster on rooftops than in this fucking jungle though, and if he wasn't a human, he could probably catch her. She decided she was better off here with her weapons than leaving them behind to stumble through the woods, but the other knife slid into her palm in case it was needed.

"It's rude to sneak up on someone." She glared, backing away as he got closer and nodding for him to put it with the rest of her weapons. Peace or not, she didn't want to be within arm's reach. The metal one didn't look like something she could fight easily. "Do I look like I want to be around people? I only fight humans, if that's what this is about." She'd have recognized him from the bar if he'd been there, but word got around. She was counting in it if she wanted to make any more money fighting. Mia already knew she wouldn't win a fair fight against this guy, no matter how good she was. That's why her dad taught her to take every advantage.

--

“It’s rude to throw knives at people,” he pointed out with a little chuckle. Entirely too much of his life had been spent rooted in violence and teaching for him to be bothered by her reaction or attitude. A quick flick of his wrist buried the knife in the ground next to her small pile as he raised an eyebrow. He recognized the antagonism of someone forced to fight for their lives and just live it.

“Do I look like I really care who or what you fight?” He was nonchalant and visibly relaxed, unbothered by anything she had done so far. He wasn’t one to make a problem where there wasn’t one. “Bows aren’t the most common weapon of choice. I’ve only met one who did it,” he tipped his chin to her bow.

--

"If I was being rude, I would have aimed for you." Given that catch, she probably still would have missed though, and her brain was already buzzing with strategy in the event she had to try it for real. A lot of knives, or arrows, in quick succession or all at once, maybe. Don't go for the obvious hit. He couldn't catch everything. Unless he was a speedster, and then she was hopelessly outmatched with her current equipment.

"What do you want, then?" Mia couldn't relax as long as she didn't know the answer to that question. Maybe not even then, depending on how honest it was. He wasn't being hostile, unlike her. If she had hackles, they'd have been raised. If she could have electrified herself like a fence, she would have. "Then we're clearly not from the same place." It was practically a trend in Star City, but that didn't make him safe. Oliver Queen had enemies all over the damn world.

--

“You know what, that’s fair,” he accepted with a small chuckle, “But I would have also just called it smart.” She was clearly smart and well trained, it was interesting to see. Different from a widow, because she was clearly emotional, even if it was annoyance or something similar. But he could see her mind racing through how to take him down if it came to that.

“I was just walking and heard you. Not many people choose the woods, and for good reason. My husband and I live on the edge of them, we like the solitude and the quiet.” He gave an easy shrug, unbothered by the hostility since he’d brought it on himself. “No, definitely not. You’ll find that’s going to happen a lot here in Sallow Hills, though.”

--

"Are you saying I should kill you if I get the chance?" She raised an eyebrow. Somehow, that did not make her feel any better about this encounter. He hadn't done anything overtly threatening, but she wasn't sure he could be anything but menacing with his size and that arm. Mia hadn't killed anyone since she got here and wasn't planning to, but if she had to save herself, she wouldn't hesitate.

"You know who likes solitude and quiet? Serial killers," she said flatly. If he didn't want anything but he wasn't going to leave, she didn't see any reason not to waste the time she'd set aside for training. She slid the knife in her palm back into place and picked up the others, keeping him always in her sight as she went back to target practice. "Don't care. I'm not staying."

--

“Not at all, I would really rather you didn’t,” he admitted with a slight lift at the corner of his lips. She wouldn’t really like what would become of her life, he thought, if she did that while stuck here in Sallow Hills. “I’m saying that recognizing a potential threat’s a good idea, and there’s a few of them around here.” As soft as he might be these days, he knew that he was still a force to be reckoned with.

“Or people who spent too long fighting other peoples’ battles,” he pointed out with a shrug. Her insistence that she could leave made him shake his head. “Yes, you are. Whether you like it or not. There are people who have been stuck in Sallow Hills for years. You’re not different and you won’t be the last.”

--

Mia didn't like anything about her life being stuck in Sallow Hills, but she wasn't naive enough to think things couldn't always be worse. Being found guilty of murder was kind of a worst case scenario plan. It would mean she'd run out of any other options. "Oh yeah? What are the potential threats?" Her tone said she might not believe a word he said, but if he wasn't going to leave, she might as well gather information. She wouldn't take any of it at face value, but she could check it against other sources.

When Steve had accepted an invitation to Tony's party, he hadn’t realized until he walked through the door that it was the same one Bucky had invited him to. He’d thought he’d have to persuade him to stop by Tony's at some point during the night, but he’d admit this was a lot simpler. The apartment wasn't crowded, but he had a feeling any room with both Starks in it was going to feel crowded. Natasha, on the other hand, was almost scarily quiet, and everything she did say was sharply accurate.

After a few hours of that, he was glad to step outside with Bucky. It was cooler outside, and his hand was warm and solid in his. He’d enjoyed meeting his friends and hoped the feeling was mutual, but it was nice to be alone with him again too. Even at night, the campus was never really empty. Theirs was hardly the only party going on tonight, and people were still visible moving from building to building under the streetlights. "Want to walk?" He didn't think he was quite ready to go back inside yet, if they went back at all.

--

Bucky would have gone anywhere to see Steve that he'd asked him, this was just a happy circumstance all around. It wasn't overwhelming, in the way some parties could be, but the Stark twins were something else for sure. Natasha didn't bother him, never would really, but he couldn't help but send curious looks her way over the course of the night.

Stepping outside with Steve was welcome, and given the choice between more time just the two of them or returning to the party, the party was going to lose, by a lot. It was comfortable, much cooler, in the night air and he couldn't help the slow, deep breath. "A walk sounds perfect," he agreed, lifting their joined hands to his lips, his eyes lingering on him over the top. "It's nice, how our friend circles overlap," he mused.

--

Steve had no idea what kind of impression he'd made on Natasha. He couldn’t tell if she liked him or hated him, but she certainly gave a damn one way or another. She watched him too intently not to care, and he suspected that had everything to do with Bucky. If he didn't pass her test, he doubted she'd let him stay. Thor was the opposite, as open and friendly as Natasha was distant, and he liked him immediately.

His thumb ran gently over his knuckles when he breathed deeply, like he’d needed it as much as Steve did. Maybe they should have ducked out sooner. His heart skipped at the soft kiss, and he gave his hand a light squeeze as they started walking. "We weren't really friends before tonight. I'm not sure why Tony even invited me," he admitted with a soft chuckle. They had a class project together that Tony hadn't even remembered until Steve reminded him.

--

If Natasha had decided that she hated Steve, Bucky would have been able to tell if she hadn't flat out told him as much. He could always understand where Natasha was coming from, but there were very few people in the world that would get her story from her, and it wasn't his to tell. Thor was always a nice balance, her polar opposite, but he adored them both anyway.

Bucky chuckled softly, "From what I can tell, that tracks. It's still nice anyway." As they walked together, he let himself shift a little closer, just because he could and he wanted to. "It was my first time properly meeting most of them, too. I only really knew Thor since we're in a lot of the same language classes and have been for a bit."

--

"Makes things easier," he agreed. Steve got along with most people, so he wasn't really expecting to not like Bucky's friends or vice versa. He didn't let a lot of people close to him, but on a surface level he was always friendly and willing to help. He'd liked everyone he met tonight. It made him hopeful that this place could be a real change for him and for Ian. Maybe they wouldn't have to hold everyone at a distance here.

"He seems like the type to pick four new roommates instead of just one," he chuckled. "Is he really as nice as he seems?" There was something genuine about Thor's friendliness. He was either a very good actor, or he really just was that friendly. Somehow, Steve sensed it was the latter. He'd talked enthusiastically about some of the places he'd traveled in a way that made everyone around him want to see them too.

--

It had taken time for Bucky to really settle into having friends that were from his choices in his life. He had been incredibly careful at first, keeping most at an arm's length while nearly violently distancing himself from his life from the first half of his time at school. He far preferred having people like Thor and now Steve in it than the ones who'd come before.

"He likes having people around," he agreed with a grin. "He really is that nice, believe it or not," he assured him with a soft laugh, "I'm pretty sure strangers aren't a thing for him." He was one of those people that was magnetizing and so full of presence, it was kind of amazing. Natural charisma for the win, there. "Did you have fun?"

--

He was still curious about Bucky’s first years of college, but he didn’t want to pry. He knew some of that recent history was painful, and they probably didn't know each other well enough for Steve to be any kind of help or comfort with that yet. He’d like to though, eventually. He couldn’t help wanting to take care of him.

"You know, I think I do." He smiled, having no trouble believing that Thor was as nice as he seemed. It was hard to fake that kind of friendliness. "Yeah, I had a good time. Did you?" He'd seemed like he was enjoying himself, but he had a feeling Bucky was good at hiding his real feelings in a crowd if he wanted to.

--

More and more as they talked and spent time together, he wanted to tell Steve more about him. A part of him was grateful that he didn't ask too many questions about his past, but he knew eventually he would learn anyway if they kept this up. He wanted him to know him, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Tonight wasn't the night for it, though, not when it was so nice.

The question made him chuckle and nod, "I did. It was fun getting to know everyone better. I have classes with quite a few of them." Yes, he could hide his feelings in a crowd if it felt inclined to it, but these days he tried not to subject himself to places he didn't want to be. "The best part was that you were there, though," he admitted.

--

He wanted to get to know Bucky, anything he wanted to tell him, but he wanted the time for that too. There was no rush on any of it. There were things Steve hadn’t told him yet too, about his dad specifically, but they just hadn’t gone back that far yet. The recent stuff hurt so much more. Whole days went by where he didn't even think about the man, but he thought of Sarah every day and knew he would for the rest of his life.

"Me too." It would be nice to have some more people to stay hi to, even if the friendships never progressed past the superficial. He used Bucky’s hand in his to tug him gently closer, reaching out to tuck a strand of his hair back in place even though he’d much rather rumple him right now. "We have the same favorite," he murmured. It had been nice to spend more time with him and learn who he was with his friends.

--

More than he had been prepared for, he wanted time with Steve. He wanted to be able to get to know each other well, histories and likes and dislikes, everything possible to learn. He would happily take it in whatever small pieces they were able to find and make as they settled into whatever they were building with this.

Bucky knew that, now that Thor had been introduced, it was going to be more than just saying hi. It would be good for all of them, he thought. When he tugged him closer, he was all too happy to shift close, his free hand lifting to slide up his chest to his shoulder. He'd rather be rumpled by him than smoothed back together, but out in public on campus, even late, wasn't the time or place. "Are you going to kiss me or do I need to keep waiting?" The question was playful but also honest, considering how heated their first kiss had been. He didn't trust this one to be any more tame.

--

Thor didn't seem like the type of person who knew any strangers, and it would be nice to have people to hang out with who weren't the baseball team. Steve enjoyed playing, but they weren’t the type of people he’d ever be fully comfortable with. He’d been more relaxed at this party than he’d been in a crowd in a long time, almost like he’d known them longer than just a night.

Bucky’s hand on him made his heart beat faster. By way of an answer, he stepped closer, hand sliding over his jaw as he leaned in to kiss him. There wasn’t anymore waiting he wanted to do with Bucky, although he'd be happy to if that was what he needed. He certainly wasn't going to pass up an invitation to kiss him again though, middle of campus or not.

--

Bucky couldn't deny that there was a large part of him that wanted to be able to make it even more appealing for Steve to spend time with him. Liking his friends, his friends liking him, it could only add to this thing that they were doing. He also knew that, if it didn't work, Steve wouldn't lose them all because that wasn't the way it worked.

His heart hammered in his chest when he simply stepped close and there was no part of him that didn't want to be held and touched and kissed by him. A soft sound escaped him into the kiss, approval and wanting all wrapped together, as he shifted as close as he could get. Waiting was the last thing he wanted to keep doing when it came to Steve. He'd already worked his way deep under his skin and Bucky didn't want to move him from it.

--

Steve didn't just want to date Bucky, although he'd take whatever of his time he could have. He wanted to see how they fit into each other's lives, and that included family, friends, studying, and everything else. Maybe that was too serious an approach for something he kept telling himself could just be for fun, but he wasn’t sure how long he could keep his feelings for Bucky casual.

He'd planned to at least try for some self-control, but those soft, sweet sounds out of him didn’t make it easy. He couldn’t resist pressing in close, loving the long line of his body warm against his, as he deepened the kiss. They’d specifically designed their first date to force them to be responsible, but there was nothing holding them to it this time. He didn’t know if his willpower was up to the challenge.

--

Nothing about this, about what he wanted out of Steve and with him, was casual. It was probably entirely too early for him to have made that kind of decision, but his heart wasn't known for being patient when involved. Steve had tugged at him from the very beginning, and every bit of time talking, spent together, it only added to that conviction that he just wanted him, absolutely embedded in his life every way he could have him.

He shivered lightly in his hold as their kiss deepened, his arms sliding up to wrap around his shoulders. Knowing he'd wanted more from Steve than a single date or a single night had made it easier than it would have been otherwise to keep their first date responsible. Knowing they were on the same page with wanting so much more made it nearly impossible not to climb him right there. He nibbled softly at his bottom lip, giving it a gentle tug before soothing the sting with a soft swipe of his tongue. "I can take you back to your dorm and drop you off outside," he murmured softly, always going to give him the out if he wasn't ready for anything more, "but I would really like to take you to mine, Steve."

--

That conversation had been running through his head on a loop since they had it. Still will, angel. It was almost a frightening level of trust Bucky was placing in him not to use that information, or maybe he didn't care if he did. He groaned softly at the gentle tug of teeth, and it took everything he had not to chase those lips for more. He did his best to rally his thoughts, but those words weren't helping.

He really, really didn’t want to do the responsible thing. It didn’t matter that they’d known each other for less than a week. He wanted to take everything Bucky was offering, and if he slept with him once and never called him again, he'd be glad to have even that much time with him. "I don't want to say goodnight to you," he murmured, curling a finger into his belt loop. He didn’t want an out. He wanted him. "Where do you stand on breakfast?" He could leave before he woke up if that's what he wanted, but it wasn’t Steve’s style.

--

He was entirely willing to be all cards on the table when it came to Steve. If he gave him information, he was trusting him to use it as he saw fit or safeguard it accordingly. Telling him that he wanted him, that he would say yes if he just asked, that was something he wanted him to use. Almost desperately so.

Not once had he looked at Steve and thought in terms of a single night. "I don't want you to either," he admitted softly, his fingers trailing in the soft hair at the back of his head. "I really like waffles and the idea of breakfast in bed with you still in it." The words could have been flirty, but instead they were raw and honest, a desperate wish for something that was far more intimate than spending a night wrapped around each other ever could be.

--

He liked the open communication between them. It was a relief to know he wasn't the only one moving fast on this or feeling more than he should for someone that in all reality he barely knew. There was already a measure of trust there though, and deep down, Steve didn’t really believe he wouldn't hear from him again after tonight.

The raw honesty in his answer had him running his fingers soothingly through his hair. There was no way Steve was leaving before that unless the building was on fire. "I'd love to have breakfast in bed with you, Buck," he assured him softly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips like it was a seal on that promise. "I can just stay, if you want. Nothing else has to happen." It was his version of giving him an out. He wanted him, yes, but he never wanted to rush him.

--

Bucky was going to keep on trusting him, because he just knew that the more they spent time together and got to know each other, it was just going to validate and solidify those feelings and wants. As a general rule, he trusted his instinct on people. Steve was worth the risk to his heart.

He leaned into that soft touch, his eyes fluttering slightly at the sheer warm comfort of it. He hummed softly at the promise and the kiss, the very idea of having breakfast in bed with Steve making him soft. His hand sank deep into his hair and he pressed as close to him as he could be. "Steve, let me very clear with you. I very, very much want you in my bed to do very little sleeping."

--

As much as Steve was enjoying all the heat they so easily called up between them, he liked this more. He liked seeing Bucky go soft and sweet for him, a sign of the trust that was already there. That was what he wanted, more than anything they could have in bed, as tempting as that was. He didn’t know when he’d started playing for Bucky’s heart, but he had a feeling it would be all too easy to fall for him.

His hands slid along his back, holding him close when he pressed against him. Heat slid through him at the words, and there was no objection in him. "Then take me to bed," he murmured against his lips, kissing him slow and heated. They’d both made it clear where they stood and what their plans were. He’d be glad to put himself in those gorgeous, capable hands.

--

Not many people got to see him soft and sweet, and certainly not in a context like this. He wanted to put himself into Steve's hands, and do it knowing his heart could be safe there. It didn't feel like a game, but it definitely felt like something he wanted.

He shivered under the soft slide of his hands and wanted them on skin doing the same thing. The soft words pulled a quiet, ragged sound out of him and he pushed into that kiss. He forced himself to lighten the kiss when his head started to swim and his control started to fray. He slid his hand into Steve's and tugged, wrapping his arm around his shoulder as he plastered himself to his side, his arm sliding behind his back so his finger could tuck into his belt loop. "To my room, so that next time, we don't have to stop," he murmured.

--

Steve would try his best not to break his heart. He wasn’t known for that, but he knew too well how life could get in the way of his plans. He would never mean to hurt him, but that didn’t mean it wouldn't happen. He needed to believe right now that things could be different though and that this was something they could have.

It was so easy already to sink into those kisses and forget what they were talking about or where they were. A quiet laugh slipped out when Bucky tugged his arm around his waist, and he gladly leaned into him, pressing a quick kiss to his temple. "Alright, let's go." He was mapping the route to Bucky’s room, hoping he'd have a lot of cause to need the information in the future.

--

Life would only get in the way if they let it, in Bucky's opinion. He was willing to do a lot to make this work for both of them, for them to have all the time they could want. He wanted to take care of him, to give him something good.

He could listen to that laugh on freaking repeat and it was quickly becoming a favorite sound. He was happy to cuddle close while they walked to his room, absolutely intending to make sure that Steve could find it again. When they reached his building, he smiled slowly at him. "Best part about my room? I won the lottery this semester. No roommate." When they reached his door, he opened it and tugged Steve in with him by his shirt.

--

Life had gotten in the way of all of Steve’s relationships except with Ian in the past several years. As everyone else trickled out of their lives, they'd only gotten closer. He wanted to make room for other people again, for both of them. He badly wanted Bucky to be one of those people.

The warmth of him cuddled against his side was comforting. That slow smile was rapidly becoming one of his favorites, and his heart beat faster just at the sight of it. "Seriously?" He laughed softly in disbelief. That was luckier than he’d expected, and the idea of all night uninterrupted with him was instantly appealing. "Good, then I get you all to myself," he murmured, nudging the door shut behind him and pressing in close for another kiss.

--

Bucky didn't want to be one of those people who petered out of Steve's life. He wanted to be a part of it, wrapped in it. He wanted to get to know his brother, to tuck him into the folds of his own life too, while he was at it.

"Seriously," he grinned easily. It was probably one of his favorite and also least favorite things. Currently? A solid favorite because it meant all night with Steve with no one to interrupt them. "All yours," he agreed softly, shifting to meet him, his head tipping to meet his kiss. His hand soothed out his shirt where he'd grabbed it, sliding over his chest and up to curl around the back of his neck.

--

He could see how rooming alone would have its downsides, especially for someone like Steve or Ian who weren't great at making friends on their own. Bucky didn’t seem to have that problem. They’d also kind of hit the roommate lottery with Matt and Sam. They were both good guys, kind and understanding, although Steve didn't like the idea of subjecting Matt to any sleepovers. The guy might not be able to see, but he missed nothing.

He had no objection to being grabbed or putting wrinkles in his shirt as long as Bucky was the one doing it. His arms wrapped around his waist, his body a long line of heat against his as they kissed. Now that he knew he had all night alone with him, he was content to take his time and kiss him thoroughly, to use Bucky’s word. He slowly deepened it, not bothering to check the heat now that they had a locked door between them and the rest of the world.

--

For Bucky, the downside of rooming alone came when he needed company to keep him out of his own head and he didn't want to reach out. It happened, from time to time, but the thought that Steve would be willing to be with him through that mood had occurred. He had never been more grateful for the lack of roommate than at that moment, though.

Having all of that heat pressed against him made him groan softly into the kiss. He didn't even bother tamping down where his brain ran this time, knowing he had all night with him. His hands sank into his hair as he kissed him back, the rising heat in the kiss sending sparks down his spine. Without the need to keep at least some of the heat in check this time, he wasn't sure he wouldn't go up in flames from it, but it would be absolutely worth it.

--

Steve would be glad to spend their downtime together. He had a feeling Bucky was someone he could just as easily be quiet with as talk to, and that was rare. That soft groan made him want to pull more of those sweet sounds out of him, and knowing he had all night to learn what he liked and put that information to good use was the best thought.

He absolutely wanted him up in flames. Kissing Bucky was an event all by itself, and he’d happily spend forever at it. He walked him slowly toward the bed, unable to resist the idea of having all of him pressed against him, even if they were taking their time. They’d be more comfortable there, and he had no intention of leaving it for a while.

--

Bucky understood that being able to sit with someone in silence was just as important as being able to have a real conversation. He wanted to learn every way to communicate with Steve, and this particular one was rapidly climbing the list. There was no reason for him to hold anything back from him, wanting him to know everything he did to him.

When the backs of his knees hit his bed, he shifted back onto it, his hands skimming over him softly. His fingers curled in the bottom of his shirt and he looked up at him with dark, pleading eyes. He wanted to see him as much as he wanted his hands on him. Yes, they had all night, but that also meant having all night to just... enjoy each other.

--

Bucky’s eyes like that, wide and pleading, almost made his knees buckle. There was no way he was ever going to be able to resist that look. It was so impossibly adorable, and it made him want to give him everything he wanted. Not that he had any objection to what he was asking anyway.

His hand curved over the side of his face, thumb gently tracing his bottom lip before he hooked his fingers in the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head and dropping it to the floor. He wanted to be seen and touched by him, so badly his skin practically ached for it. It had been... a long time, but something told him it wouldn't matter. Bucky always would have affected him just as much.

--

Every bit that Bucky asked him for, he was entirely willing to give back in kind. He didn't want him to be able to resist him when he wrecked all of his resistances the moment he was in his space. There wasn't anything so far he could imagine not just letting Steve have if he asked.

Shivering under that soft touch, it was all he could do to not trace the trail of his thumb with his tongue and he knew he failed at the very end. His eyes scraped over him and he moaned quietly, his fingers brushing along his abs softly. "So beautiful, angel," he murmured as he tipped his head back to look at him again.

--

Steve didn't have any resistance left in him tonight. Holding back from Bucky never got any easier, and tonight he just wanted them both to be able to give in and enjoy each other. He watched the slow glide of his tongue and didn't bother to hide the hunger in it, the need to taste him again almost overwhelming.

People's stares sometimes made him uncomfortable, but he was positive he'd never been looked at quite like this before. He liked Bucky’s eyes on him. His muscles bunched under his hands, the soft touch feeling better than it had a right to. He straddled his lap, catching him in another slow, heated kiss as his hands dipped beneath his shirt. "Let me see you," he requested softly.

--

If they were going to have to enjoy time alone together rarely, he wanted to make the most out of it. Tonight was a night he would happily give Steve everything. The hunger in his face matched what he felt and he shivered slightly at what that meant for the rest of the night.

Feeling his muscles bunch under his fingers just made his hands splay and flatten so he could hold him closer. Meeting that kiss, he knew he was going to get addicted to the feeling of Steve in his lap. HIs hands slid to the back of his shirt and he tugged it off for him, completely willing to give in to that soft request.

--

Bucky’s hands touching more of him made his breath hitch, and he couldn’t help wanting more than that, all he could get. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about everything he was missing in the past several years. Easier not to think about things he couldn’t have or do anything about. He hadn’t been prepared for that need to rise so strongly and so suddenly with him.

Steve was glad to stay right where he was. He let his eyes trail slowly over him, the sight of him better than any work of art. "Gorgeous," he murmured, leaving a slow trail of kisses down his neck and shoulder, his hands running over his ribs. "What do you like?" He teased gently at his collarbone with his teeth and soothed it with a kiss. "What do you want?"

--

Feeling his breath hitch made him want to hear it again, to find all the ways to make it happen. He hadn’t been so driven to touch someone in a long time, he certainly hadn’t needed to feel their hands on him or he would go crazy. That was certainly the case here, he needed to know how he felt and everything he liked, wanted him to know the same about him.

His hands slid over his hips and down to curl around his thighs where he was straddled over him. His head tipped back to give him even more room, letting his body push up into his hands. His breath caught on a hiss at the scrape of teeth and he shuddered under him. He wanted to see him fall apart for him, but… “Angel, I really want to feel you over me,” he murmured, tipping his head to nibble lightly at his shoulder. “And I want to find out just how much you are not an angel.”

--

His head swam with heat at Bucky’s hands on his thighs, and he wanted them without the barrier of more clothes between them. He already felt so good like this. He loved the way he moved for him, so sweetly responsive as he pressed kisses into that offered space, a hand sliding into his hair for support.

His hips gave a gentle roll, not teasing so much as a promise, and he groaned softly at the words. He was very much enjoying being over him right now. "I'm really not," he murmured, nipping gently at the bend of his neck and shoulder. He gently urged him further back on the bed so he could settle over him.

--

He'd known that he'd love having his hands on Steve from the moment he'd slid onto his lap on his bike. Knowing that he could have more now, that all the clothes would be out of the way eventually, was enough to make him shudder. He could melt under him, in his hands, with how damn good he already felt, and they were just getting started.

The promise in that roll of his hips sent sparks of heat licking at the base of his spine and his hands tightened lightly on his thighs. His breath hitched at the press of teeth and he shifted back for him, hooking his finger in a belt loop to gently tug in encouragement. His hands slid over soft, warm skin, one trailing up the line of his spine while the other slid along his waist band in a teasing dance.

--

He followed easily, settling over him with a knee on either side of his waist, a hand running along his ribs and up his chest. He was so goddamn beautiful stretched out under him that it took his breath away. He always wanted to catch beautiful things on paper, and he wondered if he could convince Bucky to let him draw him at some point. He was already a muse. He’d make a perfect model.

He straightened up, running a thumb gently beneath the waistband of his pants. "Off," he encouraged in a soft murmur. He wanted to feel every bit of him under him with nothing between them. His gaze locked on Bucky’s as his hands shifted to the button on his own jeans, and it stayed on him as he stripped out of the rest of his clothes.

--

He shivered under his hand, arching lightly into it in encouragement. He wanted his eyes, hands, everything he could have, on him because there was no way that an angel could promise so much oblivion with a single touch. There wasn't a thing he could imagine telling him no over, particularly not letting him draw him. Sitting under his gaze was far from a hardship.

His breath caught at the slide of his thumb and he groaned softly. He was trapped in those gorgeous ocean eyes as he stripped out of the rest of his clothes quickly, needing to feel him entirely. His eyes drifted over him when there was no fabric left between them and his eyes blew dark  with a soft, needy sound. Sliding his hands along soft, bared skin, he brushed over the peaks of his hips as his eyes returned to his.

--

He was captivated by every sweet reaction out of him, every soft sound and shift of that beautiful body under him. The world had narrowed down to the two of them, and he was glad to let it go and focus all his attention on the person who had been occupying his thoughts all week. He hadn’t been able to stop his mind from wandering back to him, but the reality of him was better than anything he could have imagined.

He settled back over him, letting his eyes trace over him and feeling Bucky’s gaze like a touch. Steve was comfortable with his body, but it still surprised him a little not to feel a trace of shyness. He wanted him to look and touch, and he wanted to memorize Bucky’s body just as much. That sound pulled him out of his staring, and he leaned to kiss him again, slow and heated. "I'm over you, baby. Now how do you want me?" he murmured against his lips, licking over his bottom lip.

--

Bucky had thought he would go crazy from the way his mind kept wandering to Steve, no matter how focused he had tried to stay. He had wanted more time with him, every bit that he could steal away until they got to this. Being able to focus on him, no part of the outside world creeping in until the next day, was everything that he needed. He hadn't expected to be struck so hard by having him, but he could never say he was disappointed.

He couldn't see a single thing for Steve to be shy over, but then, somehow it wouldn't have surprised him out of his angel. That kiss sent heat licking up his spine and he rolled his hips slowly up into him. His tongue darted out to chase the taste of him. The answer was a dark thrum in his veins and he caught his bottom lip between his teeth gently for a moment before sliding his tongue teasingly along it. "Buried as deep in me as you can get." His voice was dark and husky from that truth, that need that had been thrumming in his veins for a week.

--

If Steve had thought for a second that having him was going to take the edge off wanting him, that he would be any better able to focus now that he had sensory memories to go with his daydreams, he was strongly mistaken. He could already tell that one night with him wasn't going to be enough. If anything, he was more hooked on him than ever.

His hands tightened on him, holding him in that arch as he rolled up into him, and he gave a slow roll of his hips in return. He made a soft, needy sound at the press of teeth, Bucky’s words sending a shudder through him. He doubted there was anything he would deny him now, and certainly not something he wanted so bad it was driving him to distraction. "God, I've been dying to get my mouth on you," he admitted, kissing him again, a slightly filthy edge to it. "Got anything?" He had every intention of taking his time with him either way.

--

One night with Steve wouldn't be enough, especially knowing that it wasn't what either of them wanted. Feeling all of that soft, warm skin pressed against him, all those lines of muscles and the promise in them, just made him want him more. He wanted to feel every way they could move together, how good they could feel together.

That sound out of him made him want to hear it again and again, something dark in him needing it. His vision blurred at his words and he shuddered hard in his hands as need slammed through him. Tightening his hands on him, he groaned roughly into that kiss. "Damn... please," he begged softly against his lips, shifting under him. "Nightstand," he instructed, because he had known the need for Steve wouldn't just disappear and he'd wanted to be able to have him every way he could.

--

Steve had been struggling alone for so long that it was a relief to set the rest of the world down for the night and just let himself get lost in the haze of heat and Bucky under him, of learning that gorgeous body and everything that made him shudder and beg for him. It was the first time he'd heard that soft plea out of him, and he was already aching for more.

The smile he flashed him was dark with mischief and promise. He was glad Bucky had wanted this enough to be prepared--or maybe he always was; he really had no idea, but he was choosing to believe they'd been thinking along the same lines. He gave a gentle tug of his bottom lip with his teeth before he shifted to get what they needed, tucking it into the sheets for later as he settled back over him. Lips trailed down his neck and chest, teasing with tongue and teeth and learning every one of his reactions. He wanted to know exactly how to drive him out of his mind.

--

Bucky would be happy to stand by him, to help him through anything and everything. It didn’t matter that they hadn’t known each other long. That was where he wanted to be and what he wanted to do for him. Getting lost in each other for a night was something else he would happily do at every opportunity.  

That smile made him shiver with anticipation and he was extra glad that he had chosen to be prepared for this. A soft, raggedly needy sound escaped him at that tug of teeth and he knew he was in for it. He couldn’t wait. Shifting under him, he pushed up into him, letting him know everything he liked. That trail of teeth and tongues had fog rolling over his brain and he didn’t even bother to resist.

--

Steve had trouble leaning on other people when he needed help, but he understood the impulse. From the moment he’d heard about Bucky’s issues with his dad, he’d wanted to stand by him through it. Nobody should have to shoulder something like that alone. It would be nice to have an actual partner in whatever life threw at them, but it seemed like a lot to hope for.

His tongue swiped slowly over the peak of him, his eyes on his face. He loved watching that beautiful brain of his haze over with heat, and he wanted to keep it going as long as he could. He worked his way down his body, nipping gently at each hip bone, and wrapped a hand around his thigh, widening the space so he could settled between his legs. "Goddamn beautiful," he growled, skimming a hand lightly along his length, lips brushing over the head before he wrapped around him, slowly following the path of his hand.

--

Neither of them would have to shoulder anything alone anymore if they didn't really want to. Not if they really wanted this to be something more than casual fun, at least. He knew that he wanted it to be more, already, and they were just getting started. But then, Steve had tugged at him from the very beginning, making him want more than just a roll in the sheets.

His eyes were locked on him, sparks of heat licking at his spine as he watched him. It had been a long time since anyone made him just want to hand over every bit of control and just sink into the heat. Widening the space for him made him shudder lightly at the sight that Steve made, but it was that voice, the growl in it, that pulled a quiet whimper out of him, his hands sinking into his hair. He swore as he watched him wrap around his length, his fingers tightening gently. "Oh fuck, you're so gorgeous like this," he shivered, his muscles quivering with restraint.

--

Everything Bucky had said to him from the very beginning told him he wanted more than one night. He could have had that already if that was all he was after. It would take time to adjust to the idea of someone being there for him, of letting someone be there for him, but he already liked the idea of giving him his time and seeing what came of this. He didn’t think he was alone in feeling it had the potential to really be something.

Those beautiful gray eyes darkening to storm clouds could quickly become one of Steve’s favorite colors. He groaned softly around him, loving the sound of him ragged and swearing. He hadn’t been lying when he said he'd been dying to have him like this, and he cataloged every sweet reaction from him as he set to work driving him out of his mind.

--

Bucky really didn't let anyone stay close, Natasha and Clint being the only real exceptions for a very long time. But this was entirely different from what he had with them, and he wanted it to be. Everything he knew about Steve so far said that this could be something so good if they both gave it the chance. He had every intention of doing so.

He'd wanted to be under him, to have his hands and mouth on him, but nothing could have properly prepared him for the reality of it. His hips rolled to sink just a little deeper into the tight heat of him wrapped around him. He didn't stand a chance of keeping any control, even if he had wanted to. He let every soft swear, groan, gasp tumble out of him, wanting Steve to know just how damn good he was for him.

--

Steve’s imagination was good, but it wasn’t this good. He couldn’t have predicted exactly how good Bucky would feel under him, or the way he’d want to memorize every sweet way he responded to him. He liked the way he didn’t hold back, his hands tightening on him as his hips shifted. He groaned around him as he sank deep, encouraging him to move for him.

His gaze locked on those gorgeous eyes as he slowly pulled off of him, hands wrapping around his thighs to widen them a bit more. Bucky’s words still rang in his head, and he knew he wanted so much more with him tonight. "I'm going to look better with you wrapped around me." His voice was a husky murmur from what he’d been doing, fingers brushing teasingly over his entrance.

--

There had been no way to know just how world-shattering actually having Steve in his bed would wind up being. They were just getting started and he already felt a little ruined, selfishly wanting more and more of him. He wanted to give him every piece of him, let him have any part of him that he wanted, and he saw no reason not to give it to him. Sinking deep into his throat only made the haze in his brain stronger, moving gently with the encouragement.  

A ragged sound escaped him as Steve lifted his head and he happily widened the space for him. That ragged, husky murmur sent heat slamming into him and he pushed into those clever fingers. "Oh fuck, angel," the words were a broken whisper of need that gave away exactly how much he wanted to see it. "As deep as I can have you," he groaned, his fingers trailing along soft skin before shifting to wrap around Steve's length, his thumb sliding across the head, eyes dark and intent.

--

Steve could quickly grow addicted to feeling Bucky move for him and watching that clever mind haze over for him. His skin was hot with the need rising in him, more than they could ever satisfy in just a night. He knew he was going to want him again and again, as often as he could have him and in every way he liked. He’d be glad to learn every single thing that made him melt like this.

That Bucky could sound like that when he’d only just started touching him sent heat sliding through him, his fingers growing more intentioned. He groaned softly at the path of his hand, a shudder running through him as he fought his body not to push into him seeking more. He felt better than anyone had a right to, but he wanted more for both of them tonight.

"As deep as I can go, baby. But I'm going to take my time with you first." He tipped his head again, nibbling gently at the soft skin of his thigh before he went lower, tongue gliding over his entrance. He’d spent too much time thinking about having him like this to want to rush, or to risk hurting him, and he set all that intense focus on getting him perfectly slick and open for him.

--

Nothing would stop him from letting Steve have this as often as they both could manage. He wanted to learn every way that Steve wanted to have him, every way they could come together and drive each other mindless. He wanted to know every sound that he could make for him, every way he wanted to be touched and touch him.

He wanted to hear him groan like that for him again, wanted to feel him in his hand and mouth and everywhere he could have him. He wanted to know what he tasted like and was determined to know it before he left this bed. He wanted everything from him tonight that he could have, that they could muster the energy for, and they were just getting started.  

"I'm holding you to that," he warned him, shivering in needy anticipation under him. A soft cry escaped him and he shifted his knees further back for him. "Fuuuu... angel, that tongue of yours is sinful," the praise wouldn't be stopped as he sank his hand deep into his hair, the other sliding over his own length as he looked down the length of his body to watch him with stormy eyes.

--

They were going to run out of energy long before they ran out of time or ideas. Steve already knew he wanted everything with him, and the idea of Bucky’s hands and mouth on him was enough to make him shake. He knew the danger at this point was that he'd fuck around and fall in love with him because Steve wasn't this person. He didn’t get caught up on and fall in bed with people he’d just met that week. He wasn’t sure he was capable of it without his heart getting involved.

"Keep me honest," he agreed with a slightly wicked grin. He had every intention of following through with everything he’d promised tonight and then some. He liked that Bucky wasn’t quiet, that he let him know exactly what he liked best, and Steve wasn't above taking every advantage of the knowledge. He wanted him perfectly wrecked and boneless for him. Eventually, he reached for the bottle to help ease the way, fingers sliding deep as he wrapped his mouth around him again, the taste of him too good to resist.

--

When they ran out of energy, he was happy to curl up with him and sleep, something he didn't do with anyone. Something about Steve told him he'd bring him as much peace as he would satisfaction. There was no way his heart was going to be safe in this. He didn't get attached and introduce people to his friends and ask them to stay and have breakfast.  

"Believe me, sweetheart, I will," the words were more breathless than they should have been and he didn't even care. He wanted to know all of the same when he finally got Steve under him, wanted to know all the things they liked together. His breath caught when he wrapped his mouth back around him and he pushed down onto those clever, slick fingers. "More," he begged softly, needing to feel him.

--

He looked forward to the soft things as much as any of this. He wanted to wrap himself around Bucky and sleep, wake up to his smile, have breakfast in bed with him. He didn’t care if that was sappy. It wasn’t like most of his cards weren't already on the table with him, and he wasn’t the sort of person to pretend otherwise.

Bucky only got better under his hands and mouth. He was positive he could watch him like this forever and never get tired of it. He was so damn beautiful. He dragged his tongue along his length as he pulled off, his fingers curling gently. "Move for me, sweetheart," he encouraged, relaxing his throat to take him deeper as he sank back down on him.

--

Bucky knew what he was after with Steve already, that no one else was going to catch his attention any time soon. How could they, with his angel so full of sin that he couldn't help but be enticed and need him around? They were already open and honest in a way that so very very few people had ever gotten from him.

There was something absolutely devastating about watching Steve like this that made him want to just stay that way. Gorgeous with blown dark sea-storm eyes and those swollen lips of his, he was a damn masterpiece. He shivered at the slide of his tongue, arching with the curl of his fingers and uncaring of the sound he made for him. "Oh my, fu-," the words were choked off as he pushed up to slid deep into his throat before rocking down onto his fingers with a soft whine of need.

--

He was so damn beautiful it was breathtaking, and Steve was pretty sure he hadn’t drawn a full breath since the first kiss. He swallowed around him, setting a slow rhythm of his mouth and fingers and memorizing every sweet reaction he gave him. It was tempting to stay like this and watch him fall apart, and it was just one more thing he was adding to the list of everything he wanted with him.

When he was slick and ready for him, he pulled back, nibbling gently at the soft skin of his thigh. "Fucking gorgeous." He left soft kisses and nips as he moved back up his body, fingers spreading gently to stretch him one last time before he withdrew his hand. He slid on a condom, running a slick hand over himself as he settled over him.

--

He could hardly breathe for all the heat and intensity and he was okay with that. He didn’t need it anyway when everything about Steve just added to it. There was nothing he wouldn’t give him if it meant he got more of this, of him. He’d been under his skin since he’d gotten his first close up look at worried blue eyes.  

When he pulled back, Bucky’s hands tightened their hold like he could tug him up his body any faster. He shifted under him, encouraging every bit of the attention and wanting to return it. He shuddered at the last stretch, feeling empty and needy with it. His legs slid to wrap high around his waist with a ragged groan. “Please,” he nipped softly at his jaw, rolling his hips into him.

--

It was easy to stay close when that was all he wanted, Bucky’s hands tight on him letting him know just how wanted he was in return. Having those muscled legs wrapped around him drew an answering groan from him as he brushed against his entrance. He pinned a hand at his hip as he slowly started to work his way in.

The need to take his time, to keep him safe and to see just how well he could wreck him, was warring with the need for more of him. He didn’t know if either of them had the patience for slow tonight. His hips stilled when he was fully seated, his gaze raking hot down their bodies. "You are perfect," he growled, nibbling softly at his bottom lip. He gave the smallest roll of his hips, enjoying that kept promise of being as deep as he could go. He felt like heaven under him. "Fast or slow, doll?"

--

He shuddered and forced himself to relax under him, his breath catching from the need that came with the pressure. Being pinned had him moaning roughly as his eyes blurred. The patience was going to be the death of him, he knew it.  

Once he was buried deep, he shuddered at the hot gaze that felt like another touch. A soft keen escaped him and he shifted under him, meeting that took with one of his own. The question has his face filling with dark heat and hunger, his hand sinking deep in his hair as the other slid down to curl around the perfect curve of his ass. “Fast and hard,” he demanded, leaning up to kiss him deep and hungry.

--

There was a part of him that wanted to give into that need for more, faster, but this was worth getting right with him. He’d have loved to keep taking his time and see just how perfectly blissed he could make him, but another time, after they’d at least somewhat tamed that desperate heat.

It was worth everything to see Bucky look at him like that, those stormy gray eyes darkening with want. He sank into that hungry kiss with a soft groan, hands tightening at his waist. He pulled back, reseating himself in one firm stroke, the rhythm he set hard and steady.

--

There was no way he could have handled being wrecked under patient slowness tonight, tonight when the need felt like fire under his skin. He wasn't sure anything could tame it, not when it didn't feel like it had ebbed in even the slightest. It only kept growing, intensifying with every touch of his hands and brush of his lips.

His legs shifted, sliding apart and his knees further back, making him groan roughly at how deep he slid with every stroke. He had known that Steve would drive him out of his mind, but he hadn't expected how perfect he would feel. He nibbled on his bottom lip, tugging it gently between his teeth as he tightened around him.

--

He wasn't sure anything was going to tame this heat. Bucky was too sexy for his own good, and he only got better. If they were this good now, he could only imagine when they knew each other better. Steve might not survive him knowing exactly how to ruin him.

He wrapped a hand around his thigh, spreading him a little further and pinning him there. He liked the reaction he'd gotten out of him the first time. He swore softly as he tightened around him, kissing him back hard and deep to match his strokes.

--

It was unreal how damn good this was, how perfect Steve felt. Now he knew just how devastatingly hot he actually was and he wanted more. He didn't think he would ever be able to get enough of this, of them. Knowing he would be able to return the favor only added to the heat pooling at the base of his spine.  

His breath hitched and he shuddered hard under him before going practically boneless in his hands and under him, his eyes blurring out. His name was a ragged plea for more, his body arching into him in silent demand. His nails dug slightly into his skin as he felt that sharp edge getting closer.

--

"So sweet for me," he murmured. He loved watching that gorgeous brain blink out for him, loved knowing he could affect him that much. His lips trailed along his neck, and he couldn't resist nipping gently and sucking a mark there. He had no right to feel possessive of Bucky, but he liked the idea of him having a reminder of them on his skin for the rest of the week.

He slid a hand to his back, holding him in that perfect arch for exactly the right angle to make him see stars. His breath hissed between his teeth at the press of his nails, and it felt perfect just like the rest of him. "Fuck, baby. Let me see you." He tugged gently at his bottom lip with his teeth, running a hand along his hip to wrap around his length.

--

His head dropped back, making room for Steve and shivering in approval. There was no part of him that would protest walking around wearing his marks. Once they faded, he'd just get him to put them right back, enjoying the way it soothed some primal part of his brain.

Fireworks exploded behind his eyes when he held him in that arch, every deep stroke of him only stoking the fire he'd been building in him. A quiet sound escaped him, his body shuddering hard. His name was a ragged, needy plea and a warning wrapped all together, knowing he couldn't resist him.

--

He ran his tongue over the mark, a soft sound of approval escaping him at the sight of it. Maybe it was a stupid, primitive part of his brain, but that part had the better share of his thinking right now, and he really liked it. He liked everything about Bucky right now though.

The last threads of his control slipped away at that warning. He kissed him hard and deep the way he was fucking him, his hand stroking in time with his hips. Heat pooled at the base of his spine, and he knew he wasn’t going to last either.

--

He'd thought he was prepared, but nothing could have braced him for the clear approval from Steve at seeing his marks on his skin. He couldn't even pretend that there was anything to him other than his primitive brain at the moment. Steve ticked all of his boxes and then some he didn't even realize he had.  

His breath was stolen by that kiss, feeling overwhelmed in all the best ways. He wanted to drown in Steve and everything he was giving him, the way he kissed him and fucked him just the way he needed. The nails of one hand dug in to his back while his other hand slid to his ass in encouragement, quaking hard under him. Swearing roughly, he tightened around Steve, his name a ragged cry as he came under him.

--

Steve didn't think anything could have prepared him for what it was like to actually be in bed with Bucky. It was easily the best sex of his life, but that wasn’t a surprise after he already won best date and best kiss. It was like everyone before him was just a shadow of the real thing.

He groaned roughly as he tightened around him, burying himself deep on a last stroke as he followed after him. He swore softly against his lips, his kisses going slower and sweeter as their bodies quaked and quieted.

--

Bucky already knew that he needed this for as many nights as Steve would give him. Nothing else had ever compared to this. He'd known that he would be ruined by him, he just hadn't anticipated how many levels that would be true on.

His breath hitched when he buried himself deep one last time, a quiet sound escaping him of pure satisfaction. He licked deep into his mouth, before accepting those slower, sweeter kisses as he was absolutely boneless under him. His fingers slid through his hair as he rippled and tightened with aftershocks, enjoying the weight of Steve against him.

--

He groaned softly at the swipe of his tongue. His body protested anything more right now, but he knew already that wasn’t going to last. The need for him might be temporarily quieted, but it wasn’t gone. He had a feeling it would be only too easy for Bucky to bring it back to the surface.

His hands tightened on him, his breath hitching as he tightened and shook for him. "Goddamn, baby. You are perfect," he murmured, kissing him again and nibbling softly on that tempting bottom lip. He was in no rush to move off of him. Draped over Bucky could easily become one of his new favorite places.

--

They had all night and all morning for more and Bucky was in no rush. His skin was still thrumming even as the heat abated as they laid together. He wasn't sure he could ever get him out from under his skin now. He didn't really want to.  

He groaned softly at Steve's reactions, appreciating them even more now. Both hands slid into soft blonde hair and he followed that nibble into another kiss. "I was thinking the same thing about you, angel," he murmured softly against his lips. His legs stayed wrapped, wanting to keep him close, enjoying the weight of him over him.

--

Steve wasn't going to get sappy on him this early in the game, but... Jesus. He hadn't known another person could affect him like that or could feel so good. He was in way over his head with Bucky, and he didn't even care. He wanted to stay exactly where he was even if he drowned.

He'd be glad to just keep kissing him, for hours, for the rest of the night. He made a soft sound at the words, glad to know he was as good for Bucky as he was for him. He wanted to be good for him and give him every reason to spend more nights with him. Steve was dangerously close to falling for him already.

--

There hadn't been many people in his life that he didn't mind being sappy on him. The idea of Steve being soft for him was dangerous because it meant he could give in to that same want. He'd happily drown in him already, and that was a frightening, unfamiliar place for him to be. Somehow, though, it didn't feel that way.

He had no intentions of asking him to stop kissing him any time soon. That soft sound had his fingers soothing through his hair. "So goddamn good," he murmured, brushing his lips over his again. This wasn't enough. He knew he'd want him over and over. Just like he knew that every time he had him, he'd get closer to that edge and do something incredibly dumb and fall for him.

--

Steve was soft. Even after everything he’d been through, maybe in some ways because of it, he still led with his heart. His heart wanted Bucky. He could try to be responsible and hold it back, but if they kept on like they were, he knew it was only a matter of time.

"Good." He smiled through those soft kisses. "I wanted to be good for you," he murmured. Bucky’s hands in his hair were grounding, the warmth of him under him a reassurance that this was real and not just some elaborate dream. He didn’t think his imagination was anywhere near that good, but it was almost more plausible than that this was reality.

--

He wasn't surprised at how soft he actually was, but he was surprised at how much of his own that it pulled out. It wasn't a familiar feeling, this tug in his chest that made him want to give Steve a safe place, to feel like he could hand over his heart. He couldn't lie and say that the idea of keeping him wasn't incredibly appealing.

His fingers tightened gently and he gave those soft strands a gentle tug. "Baby, you were more than good," he assured him, a slight edge of a growl in his voice. Loosening his hold, he slid his hands through his hair soothing. "We might have a problem though," he murmured softly, kissing him lightly before nibbling on his bottom lip. "I don't know how I'm supposed to let you leave tomorrow."

--

His breath hitched at the tug to his hair, that growl in his voice sending a shudder through him. He’d barely had any defenses against Bucky before. He didn’t think he had any now that he knew exactly how good he was. "So were you." His voice was low and dark with the very recent memory.

He hummed softly against his lips in question. He did need to leave at some point tomorrow, if only to spend time with Ian and probably catch up on homework. That didn't make it less tempting to stay, and he spoke without debating whether or not it would sound clingy. "Easy. Ask me to come back tomorrow night."

--

That reaction made Bucky want to chase more, to see just how much he could affect him. If it hadn't already been nearly impossible to keep his hands to himself where Steve was involved, that would have done it. His voice that way sent heat pooling at the base of his spine and he groaned softly.  

Wrapping carefully, he rolled them to pin Steve under him, his knees on either side of his hips. His hands tightened in his hair again, using the grip to tip his head back gently, skimming his lips along the line of his neck before pulling back to look at him. "Come back tomorrow night," it was more of a demand than a request, his eyes dark on his face.

--

It wouldn't be hard to pull more reactions out of him. Bucky wasn’t even trying right now and he was muddling his thinking, a natural side effect of having a gorgeous, naked man with a sinful smile under him. It was a relief as always to know they were on the same page, that he didn’t want him to leave any more than Steve wanted to go.

His pulse sped as they rolled and Bucky’s weight settled over him, feeling better than anything had a right to. His hands slid over his thighs, anchoring him, and he couldn’t help arching for him a little as he tipped his head with a soft moan. "God. Yes." He wasn’t sure he was capable of saying no with Bucky’s eyes hot and electric on him, but it didn’t matter because he didn’t want to. He wanted more nights with him.

--

He couldn't imagine anyone being dumb enough to have this man in their bed and willingly let him leave it without a promise of more. It seemed that, when it came to each other, they were very much on the same page.

That reaction made him groan roughly, his hips rocking down in response. "Fuck, angel," he murmured before tipping his head to catch him in a hard, hot kiss. He was trying to tell himself that he couldn't spend every night with Steve in his bed but it was hard when it was the most appealing thing in the world at that moment.

--

Steve knew he had responsibilities to attend to tomorrow, and he also knew it wasn't going to be any easier walking away from Bucky than it had been so far. The only thing that helped was knowing when he’d get to see him again, preferably if that was soon. Making plans with him was just making things easier on future Steve.

That rock of his hips drew an answering groan from him, and his own rolled in response. Fingers sank into his hair as he kissed him back. "You can if you want," he murmured against his lips, nipping gently. He’d just had hands down the best sex of his life, and Bucky already had him breathless and wanting again. Waiting for tomorrow night when he already had him here might kill him.

--

He would always happily make plans to see him again while they were still together. It didn’t matter if it was just to fall asleep wrapped together. He wanted that as much as he wanted anything else with him. He would take whatever time he could have, though.

He shuddered at the feeling of that answer under him and knew he couldn’t resist him. He didn’t want to. “You’re perfect,” he growled out softly, pushing into a deep, hungry kiss. His hands slid over him and he shifted to settle between his legs instead. “I’m going to take my time with you,” the promise was dark and heated because there was no way for him to hide that.

--

Eventually, sleep would have to happen at some point, but he looked forward to it just as much as anything else with Bucky. It wasn’t something Steve had a lot of experience with. Nobody had ever fit into his life well enough for a consistent stay-the-night kind of relationship. He wanted the comfort of Bucky’s body wrapped around his, lazy cuddles in the morning, and the frantic rush to class when they stayed in bed too long.

He made a soft sound into that kiss, fingers tangling in his hair. Having this was supposed to take the edge off, but all it had done was make it worse. Bucky wasn’t as good as he’d imagined. He was better. So much better. He widened the space for him, the sight of him there sending heat sliding through him, and it took him two tries to get the words out. "I have all night for you."

--

The only people that Bucky ever stayed the night with were Nat and Clint, and neither of those fell into the same category as what he wanted with Steve. Even when they were dating, he and Natasha hadn’t been like that. He would happily be late to class because he spent too long curled around Steve, too lazy to properly wake up on time. He was worth it.

He chased that soft sound, a quiet groan escaping him. There was no way he could just let Steve go now, he knew that. Seeing him wordless sent satisfaction and heat flaring through him and his eyes darkened. “Perfect,” the word was dark as his hands slid over him.

--

Staring down the length of his body and watching those beautiful eyes darken for him was something he wanted fixed in his memory forever. Bucky was always gorgeous, but he was irresistible like this. Steve didn’t want him to let him go. He wanted to stay exactly where he was and find out if this perfection could last outside this night. He really believed it could.

He slid a hand into his hair, thumb tracing across that perfect cheekbone. "Beautiful," he murmured back. He’d love to draw him, not like this specifically since he probably couldn't without blushing, but in bed, on his bike, leaning against the counter. Bucky hadn’t even touched him yet, and the anticipation had him practically shaking.

--

He wanted to bury himself so deep under Steve's skin that he couldn't shake him because that was what he'd already done. He was beautiful and clever and so goddamn good for him, he was impossible to resist. He wasn't prone to being very hopeful, but he thought he might be able to be with this, with him.

Bucky tipped his head slightly into his hand before turning it just enough to scrape his teeth over the pad of his thumb, eyes locked on him. One hand shifted to pin his hips down into the bed while the other slid slow and soft over his length. Ducking his head, he pressed his lips in the soft dip below his hip and took a second to wrangle his control into place.

--

He knew there were edges and shadows on Bucky, some he knew the source of and others he didn't. It was reassuring though. It let him know that Bucky could handle Steve’s edges too because he wasn’t an angel. He wasn’t all sunshine and goodness, whatever he might project to most of the world. There was sadness and trauma that he’d always wear, and Bucky was the first person in a long time he felt he could trust with it.

He ran his thumb over that lush bottom lip and brought it up to his own mouth, chasing the taste of him. He couldn’t help the soft, needy sound he made when that strong hand pinned him to the bed, fighting the urge to writhe under that light touch. "Please." He was already breathless with wanting, but the hand squeezing his shoulder was steady as Bucky tried to rein in his control.

--

If Steve didn't have edges and shadows, Bucky didn't think he could trust this. He knew better than to believe anything purely soft and good. It had never worked well, in his experience. The way he clung to his brother, the worry, the reaction to learning even a small bit about the Colonel... he knew there was trauma and sadness and edges. He wanted him all the same.

He groaned roughly as he watched him get the taste of him, heat slamming through him and making his hand tighten. "Damn, baby," he growled out, his hands sliding to wrap around his thighs, his thumbs sliding along the most sensitive skin. Dropping his head low, he slowly slid his tongue across his entrance before continuing up and sliding along his length. "Anything for you, angel," he promised, low and dark before he sank down on his length, letting him slide deep.

--

He swore softly as his hand tightened around him. His body tried to arch into it for more, but Bucky had him pinned. He shuddered under that soft touch, hand sliding into his hair as he lowered his head. He could melt under the hot, wet slide of his tongue, and he doubted it would be long before he was a boneless puddle of limbs for him.

"Just want you," he managed, his eyes dark and blown as they fixed on him. He moaned as he sank down on him, sliding deep, and his thumbs ran gently down his throat, his voice already ragged for him. "Fucking gorgeous." It was a struggle to stay still under him and not roll his hips seeking more. He could let him take his time. Probably.

--

He was determined to let Steve have every bit of him that he wanted, especially when they were like this. He didn't need to say that he could have him, instead he used his actions to show him that he was his. He swallowed around him when he felt those thumbs sliding along the line of his throat.

He could feel him trying hard not to move and he pulled up, painstakingly slowly, his eyes on him. "Move for me, angel," he sank back down on him, his hands sliding to curl under the perfect curves of his ass. His fingers slid to brush softly along his entrance.

--

That was a dangerous game because Steve might just want all of him forever. He was eager for every bit of time they could spend together, every way they could know each other. Everything Bucky said had been backed up by actions so far. He had no reason not to trust that he meant all of it, spoken or unspoken.

He made a ragged sound when he swallowed around him, the look of him like that seared into his memory. He gave a rough groan as his hands went lower, his own sliding back into his hair as he slowly rolled his hips for him, sinking deep before pressing back into those clever fingers.

--

There really was very little that Bucky wouldn't give to him if he just asked. He was already in dangerous waters where Steve was concerned and he knew it. He had never had his heart decide on recklessness the way it had in this, but it didn't feel reckless at all. It felt like something he hadn't known had been missing.

He wanted to hear more of those beautiful, wrecked sounds out of him, and knew that he could. He groaned around him when he felt him rocking for him and he brushed his fingers with more purpose before lifting off of him again, shifting lower. His tongue slid alongside his fingers, his eyes looking up the length of him as his tongue pressed against him, a gentle demand. He set to stretching him, tasting him, hands and mouth working to drive him out of that beautiful head.

--

Steve didn't want to hold anything back from him. He loved how beautifully responsive Bucky was for him in bed (or, you know, on bike, and anywhere else he'd had the pleasure of kissing him so far), and the least he could do was the same. It was easy to put himself in those capable hands and let him learn all the ways to take him apart.

The sound of him groaning around him stole his breath, heat sliding down his spine as that clever mouth went lower. He didn’t hold back any soft sound or moan for him, or the praise that tumbled past his lips as he moved for him, letting him know exactly what he liked. He’d already known Bucky was great in bed, but this was something else.

--

Bucky had every intention of adding a lot more places to that list, given the chance. He loved the way Steve made him feel, wanted him to know it. He wanted to find every way to make him fall apart, just so he could put him back together and do it again.

He followed every one of those encouraging sounds, letting them guide him. He was torn between feeling him fall apart for him like this and feeling him fall apart wrapped around him. His tongue slid deep, his hands spreading him gently. He'd never had anyone like him before, never wanted to just sink into someone so badly.

--

He'd gladly take that opportunity to test the theory and kiss him in as many different locations as possible, although now that he knew what it was like to do more than kiss him, that may not be the best idea. It had been hard enough to keep his hands off Bucky before he knew how absolutely devastating he was in bed. Now that he did know, self-control was going to be in even shorter supply.

"Fuck, baby." His voice was ragged, hands tightening on him as he slid deep. He knew Bucky could wreck him all too easily like this, but his body ached for more of him. "Please, I want to feel you." He gave him a gentle tug back up, hips rolling in encouragement. Steve didn’t mind begging for him. It wasn’t like Bucky didn’t already know exactly how he affected him.

--

Self-control was all but out of the picture where Steve was involved and it didn't seem to matter where they were. He didn't know how to put all of this back into the bottle it had been crammed in before. The man was devastating and it was official in and out of bed. He didn't want him to stop.

The sound of him so wrecked for him already, so ragged as he called him baby, went straight to his head. He couldn't deny him anything, especially not when he sounded like that. He licked a long, slow stripe over his length as he went with that tug. "You are so fucking perfect, angel," he groaned quietly as he slid on a condom before settling over him.

--

He didn't want Bucky to have to hide this or any part of him. For the first time in a long time, Steve had the relative freedom to give into whatever they were starting between them, and he wanted to. He wanted Bucky and everything that included, from nights like this to difficult family history. He was worth every challenge they might face.

He shuddered under his tongue, knowing that clever mouth was going to live in his head rent free along with the rest of this night. "I'm going to look perfect wrapped around you." His gaze was dark to match his voice as he watched him move back up, hands sliding over warm skin as he tucked his knees high at his waist.

--

He would happily take every bit of Steve that he was willing to give him. He wanted to sleep with him, wake up with him, take nights just together. He wanted him to know the tough things as much as he wanted him to know the easy. There was a deep well of hope in him for this, whatever this was, and that was frightening.

Groaning raggedly, his hands slid to curl behind his knees. "Fuck yes you are, baby," his eyes slid over him as he pressed against him. Tipping his head, he brushed his lips over his as he started to slowly press in. He leaned back just enough to watch his face as he sank into him.

--

Heat slid through him at the sound of the word baby on his lips, that gaze hot on him like he’d used his hands. Steve wanted to be his baby, not just for tonight. Maybe it was too soon to think about that, but he couldn’t think of Bucky as anything but relationship material. Knowing they planned to see each other again as soon as tomorrow night only made that easier.

He moaned softly as he pressed against him, nipping gently at his bottom lip as he pulled back to see his face. He tipped his gaze down, groaning as he watched him sink into him inch by inch. "God, you're perfect, Buck." His hands slid over the curves of his ass, wanting to feel all of him.

--

The moment that he started wanting him in his space constantly, he knew exactly what kind of terms he was thinking of Steve in. This wasn't anything he was going to be willing to let go of any time soon, and he intended to show him that every way he could think of. Burying himself deep in him and wearing each others' marks on their skin was just one. Calling him baby, that was a whole other claim, and one he'd happily keep making.

His eyes were dark and heavy as he watched himself sinking into him. Those clever artist's hands on his ass made his hands tighten gently where he held on to Steve's legs and spread him just a little further to sink even deeper into him. Bottoming out, he groaned roughly and rolled his hips into him. Dropping his head, he skimmed his lips over his neck and jaw, nibbling at the corner of it right by his ear. "My perfect baby," he growled softly, his hips rolling into him again, "how do you want this?"

--

He was having trouble holding on to a thought with Bucky’s hands tight on him and that delicious fullness of having pressed so deep. He liked him just like this, as close as he could possibly get him. He whimpered softly at that growl in his ear, his hips rolling gently in response. "Every way I can have you," he admitted, hands sliding up his body along warm, soft skin to bury themselves in his hair. He was so good already, and Steve knew he was going to want more and more of him.

It was tempting to give in to that need and ask for hard and fast, but their first round had at least taken the edge off that urgency. He wanted other things with Bucky too; he wanted them to take their time and enjoy this. "Slow and deep," he murmured, kissing him again just the same way, fingers tugging gently at his hair. "I'll be begging for you before it's over."

--

He didn't want him to have a single thought in his head, to be able to make any kind of coherent sentence. That whimper made possessiveness rise quickly and he tipped his head to nip at his neck in approval. "Believe me, you can have that," he told him, brushing his lips over the spot. He wanted it more than was reasonable this early, but it didn't stop the wanting.

He wanted him every way possible, their first round taking the edge of the urgency but not the need. The tug to his hair made him shudder and he sank into that kiss, his hands tightening on him. "You're going to beg so pretty," he murmured, pulling his hips back before sinking in deep. He set a slow and steady rhythm, sliding deep on every stroke.

--

It didn't seem real, that Steve could just have what he was asking for. It felt like a dream. A lovely dream, but still a dream. He wasn’t sure he even cared if this all turned out to be too good to be true. It wouldn't have changed anything. He’d have still made every choice exactly the same, and he'd be glad to have Bucky even for a little while.

"Just for you," he murmured back, willing to give him that when it was so well-deserved. The pace he set was just as hot and slow as he'd asked for, and he couldn’t help the soft, needy sounds he made every time he slid deep. His name was a soft moan as he rolled his hips to meet every stroke, glad to lose himself in that gorgeous body set on taking him apart.

--

He wouldn't change a bit of this, every step and moment he had with him. He wanted to give him more, anything and everything more that he might want. He didn't have any reason to hold any part back from him, not when he wanted it from him, too. Whatever he could have, for as long as he could have it.

"Every bit of it." He was all too happy to give him every bit of what he had asked for. His hands slid over slick, warm skin, shifting him just enough to let him slide that little bit deeper. He chased every one of those sounds, slamming a little harder without speeding up at all. He wanted to watch him fall apart for him, to hear him. Tipping his head, he nipped lightly at his bottom lip, "You take me so beautifully, baby."

--

His brain temporarily whited out when he spread him just that little bit more only to slide even deeper. He’d never been with anyone who could get him so far out of his head, or maybe it was just that he’d never been so willing to put himself completely in someone's hands. He trusted Bucky to catch him.

He whimpered at that harder slam of his hips, his hands tightening on him. That relentless pace was stealing his breath, his thoughts, everything narrowing down to him and the way their bodies moved together. He practically melted from the praise, defenseless against it when Bucky already had him so wrecked. "Kiss me. Please." He couldn’t help chasing those lips for more.

--

He enjoyed watching his mind go fuzzy for him, seeing how good he was for him. He would happily catch him every time, if it meant getting to see how beautiful he was like this. Taking apart an angel just to put him back together and do it all over again was something he could get used to.

A rough sound of encouragement escaped him at that soft whimper, licks of heat dancing down his spine at the way his hands tightened on him. He slid a hand to curl around the back of his neck as he leaned further to kiss him exactly the way he was fucking him, slow and deep and desperately hungry. He could stay exactly this way, feeling Steve wrapped so perfectly around him, so beautifully soft under him, and never get tired of the sight.

--

God, he was perfect. He'd already found Bucky irresistible, but knowing he could have him like this? He wasn't going to be able to stay away. He felt better than anything had a right to, and Steve hadn’t let himself think about just how much he was missing. Bucky was heat and warmth, soft eyes and sexy smiles, deep conversations and mind-melting sex. He wanted all of him.

He couldn’t help moaning into that kiss, hungry and deep and exactly what he needed. His senses were flooded with him, overwhelmed in the best way. His fingers tightened in his hair, clinging to him as heat pooled at the base of his spine, the only words left to him Bucky’s name and praise and soft pleas for more.

--

He had known that Steve would feel wonderful for him, any way that he could have him. He hadn't expected him to feel so damn perfect. He hadn't felt so much like he was wanted for exactly the way he was in a very long time. Letting him go would be damn near impossible.

He would give Steve everything that he needed, continue to drive him out of that beautiful mind of his. His other hand slid under his back to adjust him, wanting him to see stars for him. His strokes came a little harder, staying nearly maddeningly slow as he murmured dark praise for him.

--

Bucky was absolutely perfect for him. Steve wouldn't have believed it was possible for them to be so compatible on every level in such a short time. He’d never really believed in things like true love or soulmates. How could he, given the real life examples he had? But he didn't know how to explain why he and Bucky just fit together, a piece he hadn’t even realized he was missing.

His breath caught at the way he moved him, that new angle stealing his breath and his thoughts, all of them a littany of Bucky and please  and more. His vision blurred at the harder slam of his hips, and he managed to stutter out a warning that he was close, his name a ragged plea. He wasn’t going to last with him like this, and he was happy to fall.

--

Bucky would emphatically say that soulmates and true love didn't exist. He hadn't had a single real life example to believe in it, and his life was no movie. The way Steve fit made absolutely no sense, but he couldn't deny that he did fit, in a way that no one had. It was so easy with him already.

He loved the way he responded for him, how beautiful he was when he was breathless and needy. "There's my perfect baby," he growled out at the warning, his hand tightening in his hair. He kissed him, hard and deep and hungry, not relenting on the pace he'd set. The need to feel him fall apart around him was riding high, wanting to watch his angel fall over that sharp edge, knowing how beautiful he was.

--

It was the possessive pronoun in that sentence that sent heat sliding down his spine. My. He wanted to be Bucky’s. He’d probably ask him before they said goodbye tomorrow because Steve might not believe in true love, but he was an established sap. It wasn’t a deal-breaker if Bucky didn’t want to be exclusive, but Steve already knew he wouldn’t want anyone else if he could have him.

His fingers tightened in his hair as he sank into that kiss, as slow and deep and perfect as that relentless pace he set. Steve was past the point of being able to hold back, so deliciously wrecked from everything he was giving him. His name was a breathless moan on his lips as he spilled over the edge, his body quaking for him as he clung to him.

--

He didn't care how early it really was in this thing they were building. He thought of Steve as his, wanted to lay his claim into his skin, to lay it in every way possible, even if Steve was the only one who felt or saw some of it. He was who that claim mattered the most with. He even wanted to be Steve's, more than just tonight.

He loved the way he felt under him, soft and beautiful and so very responsive. Feeling him spill for him made him groan, his hands tightening on him as he fucked him through it. It wasn't long before he buried himself deep and joined him with a ragged groan, swearing and praising him. His hands loosened and ran over deliciously slick skin, scraping his teeth lightly over his neck before giving in to the urge to mark him.

--

He'd be glad to wear this night on his skin in every ache and press of teeth. Of course he wanted the reminder of one of the best damn nights of his life. He knew he'd be a little sad when they were gone, but he had every intention of persuading Bucky to leave new ones whenever they were together like this.

He could swear he saw stars as he fucked him through his orgasm, only adding to that already intense pleasure. He had no idea how Bucky kept getting better, but the proof was there in every quake of his body and every shivering aftershock. He gave a soft moan at the scrape of teeth, fingers tangling in his hair, an arm curling around his waist to keep him close.

--

There was no reason for him to not constantly leave a claim pressed into Steve's skin every time they were together if it was what he actually wanted. He knew that he wanted it, wanting to look at him and see it whenever they were together. He wanted to know that it was there even when they weren't.

He could barely breathe through how damn perfect it all was, how perfect he was for him. Leaving his mark where he'd scraped his teeth allowed him to pull himself together, at least a little, even though there were no active thoughts in his head. "So sweet for me, angel," he murmured softly, pressing a kiss to the blossoming bruise he'd left on his skin before picking his head up to kiss him softly.

--

He wanted everything that Bucky offered. Even if the marks were hidden under clothes, they would both know they were there, a secret message of belonging. His hands soothed through his hair and over soft skin while their bodies quieted, Bucky’s body over him a comforting weight that kept him from drifting away completely.

Words seemed out of reach just now, and he didn’t want to struggle to come back to himself. He felt too damn good. He made a soft sound as his lips lingered over the small hurt, and he knew he’d welcome it every time he saw it in the mirror or getting dressed. He gave a soft, happy hum as he tipped his head into that kiss.

--

Bucky was happy to be a blanket for him, to stay pressed close and relax with him. A quiet noise of pure contentment escaped him against his lips, his hands brushing gently over soft, warm skin. There was a comfort and a quiet happiness here that he couldn't have expected at all. He was happy that he already knew he could have it tomorrow night, too.

Kissing him lightly, he was happy  to stay that way for as long as they both wanted. He pressed his forehead lightly to his, a soft smile on his face as he slid his hand through his hair. There was no rush to come back to words or reason yet.

--

He smiled softly at the happy look on his face, tipping his head to kiss him, sweet and lingering. Right at the moment, Steve never wanted to leave this bed. He was perfectly content to be wrapped up with Bucky, a hand running lazily through his hair and lips occasionally brushing over soft skin.

Eventually, his thoughts came back and words with them, although his body protested any unnecessary movement. He hadn’t been so relaxed in recent memory, and he didn’t want to ruin it. "How do you keep getting better?" he wondered softly. Bucky should know how utterly perfect he was for him, if he didn’t already.

--

He was already addicted to those soft, sweet kisses and knew that he would never get enough. But then, he was sure he would never get enough of Steve, period. Feeling him so relaxed under him, his face to match, he couldn't help but press soft kisses to his skin as they laid together.

His lips were skimming softly along his neck at the question and he pressed his smile into his skin. "I have a very excellent partner, I think," he murmured, picking up his head to look at him. "You led, angel, I just followed." He wanted to learn more about everything he liked, wanting to keep getting better for him.

--

All those soft, sweet kisses were only doing more to steal his heart. If he’d had any defenses left before tonight, they were gone. It was too soon to call it love, but it was like being able to look forward into the future and see himself falling. He knew he would if they kept on like this. He wanted to. It would be so, so easy to let himself love Bucky.

He could feel that smile, and it made him smile with the simple pleasure of making him happy. He hummed softly, fingers ruffling gently through his hair. "I think that was definitely a team effort." His gaze softened as he looked at him, his voice going more serious. "I mean it, Buck. You're amazing. So good for me." He hadn’t even known it could be that good. Nothing in his past compared.

--

It was only fair for Steve to have no defenses against him because he knew for a fact that he didn't have any. He knew that, if they got the chance, they could be something amazing. They had more than enough proof of that, and he wasn't even taking into consideration how good they were together in bed. Add that to the mix, and he knew that he was a goner and he didn't even care.

He slid a thumb gently along his cheek, the beautiful lines of his face making it impossible to look away with the softness in his eyes holding him willingly captive. "I want to be good for you," he murmured, "in every way." His eyes drifted over his face, lingering on his lips for a moment before he had to brush his over them. "I meant everything, Steve," his eyes darkened at the memory of all of his murmured praise. "You're so damn good for me, my baby."

--

Bucky’s face told him so much. He was memorizing each beautiful line and soft curve, knowing he was going to star in so many of his drawings moving forward. He was already a half-formed character in his mind in the comic he illustrated with Ian. His brother was the writer, but they’d always been able to build off each other for the story. It was long overdue for another hero and a love interest.

"You're the best thing for me," he assured him softly, tipping his head for that soft kiss. He would never get enough of them. His pulse picked up, a shiver running through him at that darkness in his gaze and the memory of every sweet, sinful thing he’d murmured in his ear. "Am I? Your baby? It's okay if you don't want to. It's not a deal-breaker. But I know I don't want to see anyone else." He would never back him into a corner on that. He was in this either way. But you could count on Steve to let people know where he stood.

--

A soft sound escaped him at the assurance, and he could only help that it stayed true. He hadn't had much reason to fight to be good for anyone but Rebecca for a very long time. He knew, though, that he wanted to do that for Steve, to be good and solid and steady and make him happy. There was already a pretty good barometer in place with how open and responsive he was for him, in every way.

Feeling him shiver under him, he couldn't stop the slow curl of his lips. His hands both slid to sink into his hair, his eyes going sharp with focus. "You want to be just mine?" The question was dark and possessive and he couldn't have stopped it if he tried. He groaned softly at the idea, nothing but pleased with it, and it only added to the deep well of wanting him.

"My sweet baby," the words were a dark purr of approval and he tipped his head to scrape his teeth gently over the mark he'd left on him before trailing his lips over his neck and jaw so he could kiss him again. He hadn't known he could be so possessive over someone, want someone to just be his so badly, but here they were. "I want you to be my baby. My angel. No one else could compare and I don't even want to try."

--

Steve didn't see that changing any time soon. Bucky was kind and considerate, and he was already comfortable talking to him about just about anything. The topics they hadn’t touched on yet had more to do with time and opportunity than unwillingness. He’d like to share everything with him eventually, and he wanted to know about him too. Everything he wanted to tell him.

Fuck. He wasn’t prepared for the intensity of that response. He shuddered under the darkness in his gaze, arching under him with a soft sound as he teased at the fresh mark, his name a quiet plea. It didn’t hurt. Just the opposite, in fact. A hand sank into his hair as he kissed him back, hungry for him. "I'm yours then," he murmured against his lips, the words breathless with wanting. He caught his lip between his tweeth, tugging gently before he kissed him again.

--

There wasn't anything he wouldn't willingly share with him, as dark as it might be. It was only fair when faced with Steve's openness with him, but more than that... he wanted him to know who he was, the good and the bad. He hoped that they got the chance to learn so much more about each other.

It made no sense for him to already want Steve again so badly when he'd just had him, but it tracked with the way they just kept getting better. The hunger in that kiss would have knocked him flat on his ass if he wasn't in bed and exactly where he wanted to be already. "All mine," he agreed. "I'm yours," the words were a promise as much as anything before he groaned and sank into another kiss.

--

He would have said it was impossible for him to go another round right now, but his body didn't seem to care when it came to Bucky. He’d never wanted anyone the way he wanted him. They could tame that heat temporarily, but it never really went away, so quickly called back to the surface with those kisses and that darkness and just him.

"Mine," he agreed, a hand running slowly up his spine as he sank into those kisses. Steve didn’t know he had it in him to be possessive either, but he liked the sound of that more than he would have thought possible. He’d have settled for whatever terms Bucky wanted, but having him to himself was easily the best outcome.

--

There had never been anyone who tempted him as much as Steve did, who made him think that he could be good enough. The heat between them was so easily called up, he wasn't sure how they could ever hope to quell it. More, he didn't know if he really wanted to. He wasn't sure they wouldn't catch fire from so much heat, but there was comfort and care wrapped in the heat that helped.

He shivered lightly at the glide of his hand and slid his hands out of his hair. Running the length of him, he groaned softly at so much soft skin stretched over muscle and perfect lines under his hands. Tucking them under his back and his ass, he sat back and hauled him up onto his lap.

--

Bucky was good. He didn’t need to know him longer to know that was true. If he hadn’t been sure before, it was obvious in the way he reacted to Ian. Steve judged everyone by the way they interacted with his brother, and the way Bucky had gone immediately softer and done his best to be kind told him a lot.

Bucky’s hands on him made his breath hitch, and he arched gently under them, always wanting more of him. Heat sang through him at being hauled into his lap, and he tucked a knee on either side of his waist, his body pressed flush against him. He was trying to keep his mind from sinking into absolute filth, and it wasn’t working, his eyes dark and blown as they met his.

--

In Bucky's opinion, most people would be hard pressed not to be kind to someone like Ian. Even if he hadn't known even a sliver of their story, those sad eyes would have yanked at him. He knew, because that same sadness that occasionally showed in Steve's did it to him too.

He groaned roughly at the way he settled so perfectly against him, his hands staying in place and holding him close. His eyes, though, made him swear and kiss him hard, forcing himself to stay still. It was a Herculean task with a lap full of the sexiest man he'd gotten his hands on and his mind was quick to remind him just how perfect they looked wrapped around one another.

--

Steve had worked hard to keep most of that sadness tucked away on the inside, but he didn’t feel the need to hide all of it from Bucky. He’d never gotten the sense that he couldn’t handle the darker parts of the Rogers family. He certainly wouldn't have introduced him to Ian without some kind of explanation for context.

His hands sank into his hair as he kissed him back, rough and hungry. Steve wasn't doing nearly as well at keeping himself in check, and he couldn’t stop himself from turning those kisses deep and filthy, his hips rolling slowly against his. He wasn’t an angel, not really, not at all.

--

There was no part of Steve that could possibly be too dark for him. The fact that he already trusted him enough to introduce him to Ian was a lot. He paid attention and knew how much the two leaned on one another, how insular they could be. He couldn’t blame them for a bit of it.

He sank into those kisses, letting himself follow the lead that Steve was giving him. He didn’t want him to keep himself in check and he definitely wanted to give him everything of himself he wanted. He groaned with pure need and heat, his hips rolling up into him. “Fuck, baby,” he murmured, his hand tightened on his ass gently.

--

Ian was all he'd had before now. It was strange to want to invite someone into their little world of two, but he did. He didn’t want to shut Bucky out of it. He hoped with time that the two of them could feel comfortable with each other the way Steve felt comfortable with both of them, that they could somehow all be friends.

His breath stuttered at that roll of his hips, his hands so tight on him. It wasn’t helping at all to contain that heat, but to be honest, he wasn't really trying. He could and would, of course, if Bucky needed to pull back. They’d done a lot tonight, and he wouldn't have blamed him if he'd reached a tapping out point. "We can stop," he offered, his voice already going low and rough for him. He tugged gently at his bottom lip with his teeth. "Or I can ride you until we both see stars."

--

Bucky was willing to put in the work and the patience when it came to Ian, knowing what it all meant to Steve. It wasn't something he took lightly, or ever would, even if this went south. They all deserved something good, deserved friendship that understood the shadows.

He didn't think it was possible to contain the heat, not really. They could abate it for a moment, but that felt like it was it. Steve's voice that way sent heat licking down his spine and his hand slid over his ass to brush his fingers across his entrance with intention. "Come on then, angel," his voice was dark and heavy, "I want to watch you." There was no way he could do anything else but watch his baby ride them into oblivion at that point.

--

Steve hadn’t been prepared for how much he would want him. It had never been a casual thing, not from the moment they met, but he hadn’t expected it to build on itself until he could barely think past it. He’d never wanted anybody as much as he wanted him. He sort of understood now why people made bad decisions when it came to love. He wasn’t sure he could be counted on to be level-headed about it.

He made a soft, needy sound at the press of his fingers, pushing gently into that touch. He kept his gaze locked on his as he pressed deeper, leaning forward to kiss him again, teeth scraping less gently against his bottom lip. He paused long enough to get what they needed before he settled over him again, the first brush of him against his entrance making his breath hitch before he started to slowly sink down on him.

--

Wanting Steve was a deep, visceral thing, and he'd made his palms itch from the moment he'd opened bleary eyes to see that angel face in front of him. The constant, driving need to have him close, to see him, even just to hear his voice was mind-boggling. There was nothing sensible about it, and he had no intentions of letting it go.

His eyes were sharp on his face at the sound and the way he rocked back onto his fingers. He groaned raggedly at the sharp scrape of teeth, heat singing through him. Letting him get situated, his hands wrapped around his hips and he forced himself to stay still when all he wanted was to be buried deep in the heat of him again. "So fucking good for me, baby," he murmured as he watched him sinking down on him.

--

He could feel the restraint in that gorgeous body, and it made him groan softly. "Please," he encouraged, arching a little to take him deeper. He wanted, needed to feel Bucky buried deep, and he wanted to give him everything he needed in return.

His arms wrapped around his neck, fingers twining in his hair as his hips stilled against his. "Fast or slow?" he whispered against his lips, the question they’d been asking each other all night, and it hadn’t led them wrong yet. Having him twice already tonight, he felt like he could do this forever before his control slipped away from him.

--

Heat shot through him at that plea, that single word that made him want to give Steve every piece of him and more. "Anything, angel," he promised, knowing that he wouldn't hold anything back from him for long. He felt so damn good, that tight heat wrapped around him so perfectly.

"Neither," the word was almost a growl against his lips as his hands tightened around his hips. He guided him back up his length before tugging him down, his own hips slamming up to meet him. "Hard and steady, baby," he murmured before licking deep into his mouth, every intention of having him fully wrecked before they managed to find their way to sleep.

--

His hands guiding him where he wanted him sent heat sliding through him. Steve would be glad for him to show him everything he wanted, exactly the way he liked him. "How do you feel so good?" he murmured, that slow glide of him matched only by the way he slammed deep again. He couldn’t help the soft sound he made, eyelids fluttering with it even as he shifted on his knees to repeat it.

His breath shook as he sank into that kiss, every bit as deep and steady as those strokes. He breathed his name against his lips, the praise quiet and almost reverent. Steve couldn’t have explained why this was different, more intense somehow, knowing that Bucky was all his and that he'd claimed him back.

--

He could spend hours showing Steve exactly what he liked, everything he wanted with him, and adding more hours to it as his list grew. His man was nearly painfully sexy, so damn beautiful that he brought him to his knees. "Baby, you take me so perfectly," he growled softly as he moved over him again, his hips thrusting to meet him again.

The soft praise added to the licks of heat at the base of his spine and he leaned back from the kiss, his eyes raking hotly over him. His hands slid from his hips, over his thighs in encouragement. One hand slid around to his ass, fingers brushing over his rim as he sank deep. "I told you I wanted to watch," he reminded him, his other hand sliding to wrap around his length.

--

He shuddered under the praise, at knowing he was as good for Bucky as Bucky was for him. "Damn right I take my baby well." His voice was a husky murmur, as dark and possessive as the gaze that raked over him. He wanted to be good for him, but he made it so easy. They fit together just as perfectly here as they did everywhere else.

He loved his eyes and his hands on him, and he couldn’t help a soft, dark laugh at the bit of voyeur in him too. He definitely didn't mind Bucky watching him. "Then watch. I like you looking at me." It was a soft encouragement as he slammed deep again, pausing each time to grind his hips. That press of his fingers made his brain stutter, and it blinked out completely with his hand wrapped around him. His head tipped back, a shudder running through him as he tightened around him, arching into that hand. His name was a ragged groan as he fucked himself down on that length and then up into his hand, hard and steady like he couldn’t get enough of either one. There was no such thing as enough of him.

--

The words made him groan roughly in approval for him. Steve fit him so perfectly in so many ways, this was just another one. It was addicting and he wanted to find every way that they fit together, to revel in it. It didn't matter that this was new, he was happy to be his, to sink into that possessiveness.

He loved the sight of him always, but like this was quickly becoming one of his favorites. "I'll always look at you," he murmured. When his head tipped back, he lowered his head to press his lips to the line of his neck, his teeth scraping lightly. Kissing and nipping gently, he scraped his teeth at the soft skin where his neck and shoulder met, his hand tightening gently around his length. He couldn't get enough of the way he felt, the way he fucked himself on him.

--

Steve didn't mind his possessiveness. If very recent events were any indication, it only made him want him more. He knew that Bucky wasn't dangerously possessive in other areas of life because he’d already shown himself willing to fit in around Steve’s schedule and his relationship with his brother. He could be as possessive as he wanted in the bedroom, and Steve would melt for him.

He shuddered under that line of heat and the scrape of teeth, the memory of him marking him coming in loud and clear. He groaned softly as his hand tightened on him, his vision blurring out as he ground deep. His fingers tangled in Bucky’s hair, dark eyes locking with his as he kept up that steady rhythm, heat beginning to pool at the base of his spine.

--

The possessiveness only ever rose when they were like this, wrapped up in each other and driving each other to oblivion. He was happy for it to stay that way, especially if it meant his baby would keep responding so perfectly for him to it. Steve was beautiful, always, but there was something about the way he looked wrapped around him and wearing his marks that just made him quake.

He sucked lightly at the mark he'd already left on that ridiculously soft skin before trailing his mouth and giving serious consideration to adding another. His fingers brushed at his entrance again as he swiped his thumb across his head as he watched him. "So fucking beautiful, angel baby," he murmured darkly, his eyes like storm clouds on him. "You can ride harder," he encouraged, his hips slamming up to meet his as he slid down on him again.

--

A shiver ran through him as he lingered over the mark he'd already made. His fingers tightened in his hair, and he gave a ragged plea as his hips rocked against him. Steve wanted everything that said he was Bucky’s, his baby, his doll, his angel. There was no possible way he would ever forget this night, but wearing his marks would make it last just a little longer.

He swore softly, his breath and his mind stuttering at those clever hands on him. He gave a rough groan as his hips slammed harder into him, unable to resist an invitation like that. "So damn good for me," he murmured, hands tightening on him as he did just as he asked, slamming hard and deep each time. He wasn’t going to last like that, not with Bucky’s hands on him, but riding him into oblivion sounded like the way to go.

--

He loved the way he sounded for him and it sent licks of heat down his spine. He wanted to lay that claim in every way he could, was more than happy to. Pressing marks into his skin that would remind him of this after it was over was the easiest part of it.

A quiet, rough growl escaped him at how perfectly he responded, satisfaction flaring in him. "There we go," he praised softly before he groaned at just how damn good he felt. He knew that he couldn't last forever, Steve riding him too perfectly for that, but he was more than happy with that. He wanted to watch him fall apart riding him, to feel him and follow because there was no way he could resist him.

--

The murmured praise sent a shudder through him, a soft, needy sound escaping him. He liked knowing he was good for Bucky and wanted to give him everything he needed, as often as they could have it. Knowing he was as good for him and that he needed him just as much was enough to make him melt.

He groaned at each hard snap of his hips, his brain threatening to blink out every time he ground deep. He swore softly, his name nothing but praise and a stuttered warning that he was close. He wanted to feel Bucky falling apart for him too and know he was right there with him.

--

He would happily spend as much time as they could have giving Steve everything he needed and wanted. Being good for him here was the easiest of what was ahead for them, and he wanted to see just how much good they could really have together this way and every other possible. If they got better together, he wasn't sure he could really survive it.

That warning snapped the last of his control and his thumb slid across his head. His eyes intent on him, he lifted it to slide his tongue across and groaned at the taste of him. His other hand slid to wrap tightly around his hip, slamming up into him hard and grinding his hips up into him as he came, buried deep, his hand stroking over his length. "Fuck, baby, you're perfect for me. Come for me."

--

It had been a very long time since Steve had considered what he needed. Letting himself accept a date from a beautiful stranger had been a rare indulgence, and he’d rapidly found he didn’t want to give him up. It was dangerous to let himself need someone, but it was way too late to stop it. If he could have Bucky, he couldn’t imagine asking for anything else for himself.

He made a ragged sound at the hot swipe of his tongue, his brain temporarily whiting out with the sensory overload of Bucky everywhere. It stole his breath to feel him come buried as deep as he could get, and he was helpless to do anything but follow with those clever hands on him and his murmured praise. His name was a rough moan as he quaked through it, breath-stealing and mind-melting on the heels of everything else they’d done tonight.

--

If Bucky had his way, he was going to spend plenty of time giving attention to what Steve needed. The same went for Ian, knowing they were a package deal. He wanted him, wanted to keep him, and he hadn't let himself want to keep anything for a long time. There was already nothing he wouldn't give him.

Feeling him fall apart around him pulled a rough groan out of him, his hands shifting to hold him close. He shifted to kiss him, deep and hungry and slow and they quaked together. There was no real thought to be had outside of keeping the warmth of Steve close.

--

It was ridiculous how much time he already wanted to spend with him. Steve would be glad to rearrange his life to make room for Bucky in it, however he would fit. He knew time would help when it came to Ian. His shy younger brother took longer to feel comfortable with people, but he knew there was already effort there on both sides.

He barely had the brain to respond to those kisses, much less to do anything else besides melt into those arms and the warmth of him. It took a lot to wipe that tactical mind clean, and he was happy to drift on the endorphin rush of him, mindless and fucked out.

--

It was easy for Bucky to make room in a relatively empty life, kept purposely that way. He wanted to fill it, and wanted Steve to be a very large part of it. Ian was a part of that, he knew. Time would show where they all fell and how this would all work, and Bucky would happily put in the work.

He loved feeling Steve absolutely boneless for him. His hand slid gently through his hair as they kissed, his lips trailing over his cheek to press lightly to the corner of his jaw. "Gorgeous, angel," he murmured, his other hand stroking down the long line of his spine. Selfishly, he wanted to keep him exactly that way, blissed and fucked out and so fucking beautiful with it.

--

They both had their reasons for keeping other people at a distance. Based on their conversations, those reasons seemed remarkably similar. He wasn’t used to having anyone who just understood or was willing to accept the complicated parts of his life along with the rest of him. He knew Bucky could handle it because he already was.

He made a soft sound at the murmured praise, pushing gently at him to get him to lay down with Steve sprawled over him, his face tucked into the crook of his neck and thumb running idly along soft skin. He didn’t want to climb back into his body yet. He was good like this, tired in the best way and fully satisfied.

--

There was no stopping the soft, dopey, and fond smile that spread over his face as he let himself get pushed back down to lay down, his arms wrapping happily around him. He slid a hand up the line of his back and let himself drift under the comfortable, happy weight of Steve draped over him. He liked how boneless and soft he'd gone for him.

Pressing his lips softly to his shoulder, he made no moves to get either of them back into the land of the reasonably sound. His baby deserved to just stay like this for a little while and he took deep satisfaction in knowing he helped make it happen.

--

He made a soft noise of contentment as Bucky’s arms went around him, snuggling a little. This could easily become his new favorite place, wrapped up in his boyfriend? partner? person? 's arms. He didn’t really care to clarify the terms right now, or maybe ever. They’d agreed to be exclusive, and he didn’t need more than that.

Steve was never this relaxed. His mind was always buzzing with work and school and baseball and Ian, always planning and backup planning. Feeling safe and content and fucked out of his damn mind wasn't something he wanted to give up so quick. He drifted for a while on soft touches and just being held. "Perfect," he murmured when words felt reasonable again, pressing soft kisses against his neck.

--

His fingers slid through the hair at the back of his head, his other arm wrapped firmly around him like he couldn't hold him close enough. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt to simply content and he saw no reason to disturb it. There was no one else who'd managed to make him want the way that Steve did, in a way that went beyond sex.

Seeing him absolutely fucked out and boneless was something he would all too happily replicate as often as possible. He hummed softly in affirmation at the soft word, his hand sliding deeper into his hair to just hold him. "You are," he agreed, smiling into his shoulder and pressing another kiss there. "You just keep getting better, baby." Bucky was happy to keep pressing soft kisses into his skin while he held him close.

--

Later, when he had time to go back over all this in his head, Steve was going to be in his feelings about the way he held him, the way they tucked every curve and corner into each other until they fit like puzzle pieces, the care in every soft brush of his hands or lips. He hadn’t realized he’d been starving for this, for closeness and comfort and care with someone he trusted to stay.

He could hear the smile in his voice, and it made him smile too. He picked his head up, just enough to kiss him soft and lazy. "So do you. You can't be the best sex of my life every time. That's gotta peak somewhere," he laughed softly. Bucky had easily knocked out the top three spots in one night, and Steve was looking forward to filling out the rest too, until he forgot he'd ever been with anyone else.

--

He had known from that first meeting in the gym, his jaw aching and head spinning, that Steve was going to bury himself under his skin. He hadn't known, though, just how much he would want him to stay that way. He wanted to fold Steve into what there was of his life, to spend their nights like this when they could, wrapped up in each other and happy for it.

Tipping his head, he met that kiss with a content sound. "I don't mind a challenge," he chuckled quietly, content to keep trying to be. He was alright if he didn't always succeed, but he wanted that for Steve. "Let me learn you better, baby, and we'll see about that." He couldn't stop the dark purr in his voice at the idea of knowing his body so well.

--

He couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him at the sound of his voice like that. Even if he was definitely at his tapping out point, he couldn’t help reacting to all the possibilities of future nights with him. "I want to know you too, everything you like," he murmured, kissing him again softly. There was no heat in it, just that sweet earnestness that was purely Steve.

"Let’s clean up, and then I'm going to snuggle the shit out of you until we fall asleep," he offered with a smile. He sat up slowly, taking careful mental stock of his body. It was deliciously sore, and he wouldn't change a second of it. He wasn’t in the mood to bother with communal showers tonight when tomorrow morning would do just as well. He still felt lazy and relaxed, the only goal to get back in bed and wrap himself around Bucky for the rest of the night.

--

There was no way he could carry on tonight, and he was content to curl up with him and sleep. It didn't mean he couldn't make plans for the future, for more nights like this one. "You will, angel," he promised quietly, because there was already nothing he wouldn't give him if he asked. That sweet earnestness of him wrecked him faster than anything.

"I like the sound of that," he agreed, holding him steady as he sat up with him. His own body had the best sorts of aches already. He loosened his hold on him and kissed him lightly so they could slide off the best and clean up. It was quick and easy work to strip and change the blankets and get situated for actual bed.

--

It was reassuring to be making plans and to know Bucky wanted them as much as he did. He hadn’t given Steve any reason at all to doubt him, but this had happened fast. It was hard to think it couldn't crumble out from under them just as quickly. He wanted to build something with him that would last.

His fingers brushed over his where he steadied him, that gentle care making him soft inside. He helped him clean up and change out the bed, taking his hand to tug him close again when they were finished. "I'll help with the laundry tomorrow," he promised softly, brushing a light kiss to his collarbone.

--

The only way this would crumble out from under them, he thought, was if they both simply stopped being who they really were. If Steve held back that sweetness, that earnestness, if Bucky stopped showing his care, then, this might crumble. He had no problems with putting the work into something lasting with Steve, because he got the feeling it would be returned fully and not squashed or ignored.

Sliding his arms around him when he was tugged close, he smiled softly. "You can help mess up these sheets," he teased quietly but there was no real heat in it. "I like that you'll be here tomorrow," he admitted softly, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder.

--

He liked how easily he fit against him, and he laughed at the comment, a low and happy sound. "I'd love to. Maybe tomorrow." He already had plans to stay tomorrow night with him too. He’d never mind nights together just studying or cuddling, but he’d be surprised if they could keep their hands off each other for all of it. Self-control wasn’t a thing with Bucky around.

He slid a hand into his hair, fingers running gently against his scalp. "I promised you snuggles. And I think I remember something about waffles in bed." He kissed him softly, his free hand sliding into his as he moved toward the bed. Steve didn’t do lazy mornings often, but he was going to take full advantage of that one.

--

That laugh filled him with an entirely different warmth than the one they'd been running on all night and it was all the sweeter for it. "Tomorrow," he chuckled in confirmation because there was no way it was happening tonight. He liked just being with him, but Steve tested every bit of his self-control and he really didn't care.

His eyes drifted shut and he all but wanted to purr under the slide of his fingers. "Definitely both. I plan on spoiling the hell out of you in the morning," he admitted, moving with him to the bed. He pushed him down gently so he could partially drape himself over him, tucked close along his side. He would take every one of Steve's lazy mornings and spoil him, if he'd let him.

--

He liked that reaction and would be glad to give him all the hair pets he wanted. There was nothing about Bucky he didn’t like so far, but there was something about this version, so relaxed and happy, that tugged at his heart. It meant something that they could give that to each other.

"Oh yeah? Are you going to let me spoil you back?" he chuckled softly, stretching out easily on the bed. He tangled their legs together and curled an arm around his waist, the other resuming its path through his hair. "Sweetest," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss into his hair.

--

He wasn't used to feeling so genuinely relaxed and happy, almost always holding himself incredibly contained. Sure, he came across carefree and charming, and it worked for him. This, though, the softness that Steve brought into his world, was something new.

"I can't seem to tell you no when it comes to anything," he murmured, teasing and light. He wasn't sure how to be spoiled, but he wanted Steve to be happy. Wrapping his arm around him, he sank into him when his fingers went back into his hair. "You are," he agreed, pressing his smile into his chest.

--

"Well, I'll try to use that power only for good," he teased back. He hoped Bucky would be open about anything he didn’t want, but he understood the impulse. Steve wanted to make him happy too, in whatever ways he could. Probably neither of them were good at being spoiled, but he could try for him.

He melted a little when he just sank into him, his arm tightening around him. "No, that's you, baby," he said softly, nails running gently against his scalp. The proof was right there in his arms, a big snuggly kitten enjoying pets. It was a side of him he hadn’t gotten to see much before now, and it made him soft.

--

"Angel," he teased, eyes full of mischief at the nickname because he'd seen just how not angelic he really could be and it only made him even better. If it was something he just emphatically did not want or like, he knew he would be able to say something. Compromise and care was what was going to make a difference in what they were trying for together.

A soft, content sound slid out of him when his arms tightened and he felt the soft scrape of nails. It sent a shiver of delight down his spine and he knew he wasn't budging any time soon. "That's nice," he mumbled softly as he shifted further over him for more contact. He hadn't realized how genuinely touch starved he had gotten, having had nothing like this for so long. He could get some from his friends, but it was different from this, by a long shot.

--

He chuckled softly, the sound a little dark. If he hadn’t managed to convince Bucky after tonight that he wasn’t an angel, then nothing was going to. It sent a little flutter of warmth through him every time he said it anyway. Steve would never think it was true of himself, but he liked being Bucky’s angel.

"Kitten," he murmured, soft and fond as he shifted further onto him. His hand ran a lazy path along his spine, the other sinking deeper into his hair for pets. He loved having him so relaxed and snuggly. Steve had a feeling they'd both needed it in a way they wouldn't admit to themselves. It was hard to be alone, harder still to find a person who actually made it less lonely.

--

That slightly dark chuckle sent a shiver down his spine and he knew he couldn't get enough of it. Compared to what he had been used to in his life, Steve definitely felt like an angel. The warmth and happiness he brought to his life definitely gave that vibe. Add in the way they moved together in bed, and he couldn't be anything but his angel.

A quiet snort of laughter escaped him but he didn't lift his head because he didn't want those soft strokes to end. "Really? Kitten?" He scraped his teeth gently before pressing a soft kiss to the same spot. He had never anticipated Steve coming into his life.

--

He hated that things had been so hard for Bucky. He knew he couldn't change it, but he could be there to give him every good thing he could think of. More cute dates and making out on his bike and nights like this and soft cuddles and lazy mornings, plus more they hadn’t even had time for yet.

"Are you trying to tell me you're not basically a giant cat?" he teased, running his nails gently against his scalp. It was adorable, but if he objected to the nickname, Steve could stick to their established ones. Bucky’s comfort mattered more. The scrape of teeth sent a soft shiver through him, not at all unwelcome.

--

He was trying to change his life into something more like what he wanted for himself, and Steve was going a long way to add to that. A gorgeous guy that made him smile, accepted that he had trauma and still wanted to see him? It was little wonder he wanted more of him in his life.

He sputtered lightly but was too busy melting under his hand for the words to properly form and instead came out just a testy little noise that did nothing to help his case. "Not fair," he muttered, but he pressed his smile into his chest so he knew he really didn't object.

--

Trauma wasn’t a reason not to see him again. They both had a past. Bucky didn’t seem like the kind of person who let his trauma make him into a worse person, and that was what counted. Steve wouldn't either. He’d seen it with his father, who let his circumstances control the kind of person he was, and he knew he never wanted that for himself.

He huffed a quiet laugh at the sound, not needing to point out that he was only reinforcing his point. "Just between us, baby," he assured him softly, fingers running a slow path through his hair and along his back. He liked him like this, all sweet and snuggly, but he’d yet to meet a version of Bucky he didn’t like.

--

Bucky did everything he could possibly manage to not let his trauma, his past, turn him into something or someone terrible. He hated that whole idea. He had to hope that a person could rise about the things that made them, that shaped them. He didn't want to become who his surroundings could have turned him into. That man wouldn't have been wrapped around the sweetest man in his bed the way he was at that moment.

Humming lightly, he pressed a soft kiss to his chest, "Just for you." And that much was rather true. He couldn't think of anyone else who had ever really gotten this side of him, so soft and allowing so much. His hand slid along his side lightly, enjoying the feeling of him under his hand.

--

Steve knew they could because he saw it every day. He would never become his father. Ian wouldn't either. They could become it or they could take that experience and do better, and he was determined to always do better. He could see the same thing in Bucky, even only having known him for a short time. He admired his courage in making the kind of life he wanted for himself.

"I'm good with that," he murmured. It wasn’t safe to be this soft with everyone, but Steve wanted to be a safe place for him, for all the different sides of him. He was relaxed enough to be sleepy, and he knew he was going to drift off if they stayed like this. "I'm going to fall asleep on you, sweetheart," he warned him softly. It was late enough he didn't see much of a problem with that.

--

More and more, he was learning things about Steve that he liked, that gave him hope. The man made it hard not to have faith in him and anything he put his mind to. This thing they were working at building together was included on that list. His courage had taken too long to take form in any real way that mattered, but he was trying and that counted for something.

He shifted to press a soft kiss to his neck, his hand sliding up to brush through his hair. "Go to sleep, baby," he murmured in encouragement. "I'll be right here when you wake up." It was the easiest promise he could make because it was exactly where he wanted to be.

--

It was hard to be brave when no one was on your side. Steve’s life hadn’t always been easy, but he’d always had that. His mother and Ian knew who he really was and loved him. They supported each other through everything. From the sounds of it, Bucky hadn’t had anyone doing that for him. It was so much harder to stand up for yourself when you had to do it alone.

"Sounds nice, waking up to you," he murmured sleepily, arms tightening a little around him as he tucked in close. He was already comfortable enough with Bucky’s weight over him to drift off, and Steve went hard enough in his daily schedule to rarely have trouble falling asleep. Staying that way could he a problem, since he and Ian both had nightmares, but falling was easy.

--

Alone was what he knew, the age difference between him and Rebecca large enough that it caused multiple gaps. He loved his sister, and there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her, but the support, unreserved and unconditional, wasn't entirely there, and that was okay. It was more important to him that she was okay and had her future readily handy .

"Whenever you want," he agreed with a soft laugh. He didn't often slide into sleep easily, and he certainly didn't stay that way, but Steve had him relaxed and boneless, comfortable in a way he was struggling to remember being.

--

It was different with a younger sibling, the support uneven and rightly so. He knew Ian loved him and supported him, but Steve would always have the need to shield him from the worst of what life threw at them. He’d take every hit if it meant it wouldn’t burden his baby brother with more, and from the sounds of it, Bucky was the same with his sister.

"Definitely have to make it a habit," he murmured, fingers running softly through his hair. He’d looked forward to falling asleep wrapped around him and waking up in his arms, and it was every bit as good as he’d imagined. He’d been dozing for a while with the sun coming in the window without any real motivation to properly wake up. Bucky was warm and soft, and Steve didn't often get to indulge in slow mornings. He was always up for classes or work or practice.

--

Falling asleep wrapped in Steve's arms with the intention of making every bit of it a habit was the best way he had fallen asleep in a very long time. There was no reason to spring awake and the warmth and comfort kept him asleep for longer than usual. The sun had him pressing his face into Steve's neck with a quietly grumpy sound but then he was satisfied at how close to him he actually was.

Everything about him invited him to just stay exactly where he was and he pressed his lips softly to his neck, half-asleep and in no rush to put an end to the closeness. "Good morning, baby," he murmured, the words half-buried against his skin. He would happily give Steve every slow morning they could have.

--

His arms tightened around him, tucking him in closer and tugging up the blanket a bit more to shield him from the light. He pressed soft kisses against his hair, quiet in case there was a chance Bucky could go back to sleep. Steve knew the possibility was out for him now that his mind was awake, but he was content to laze exactly where he was.

"Morning, sweetheart," he murmured, fingers running softly through his hair. Last night felt more like an incredible dream than ever, and he was glad for Bucky snuggled in his arms and the lowkey body aches reminding him that every bit of it had been real. Not only real, but something they could repeat as often as they wanted.

--

There was no stopping the softness in his chest at the way that Steve tried to protect him from the sunlight. He couldn't go back to sleep, but he could certainly stay exactly where he was, content to do so. It wasn't often that he could enjoy staying in bed quite so much and feel so rested. The slight aches in his body didn't take away from it in the slightest.

He lifted his head enough to brush his lips along Steve's jaw with a happy hum at the quiet rumble of his voice. His hand slid along his side and over his hip under the blanket. "Feel okay?" The last thing he wanted was for him to ever hurt because of him or anything they did, at least not in any way that he didn't want. Bucky knew that he loved the ache that reminded him so much of what they'd been up to.

--

Steve was a ball player and a boxer, and he’d been chronically sick as a child. It was rare that he didn't have some low-level form of pain going on, and his threshold for it was ridiculously high. Bucky hadn’t done anything he didn’t want and had practically begged him for. He took the question seriously though, stretching a little under him as he took stock of his body.

"I feel good," he decided. He didn’t mind a little soreness for something that made him so happy, and he had a feeling that lazy contentment was going to linger with him all day. His fingers slid through Bucky’s hair, his smile soft and fond. "You?" He'd seen him take a hit and wasn't too worried, but he’d still like to know he was okay and to take care of him in any way possible.

--

Feeling him stretch under him pulled a quiet groan of approval out of him. He needed him to be okay more than he needed to give in to that sweet, low thrum of want that was always present when he was with Steve. He'd known it would be worse after last night, and he was okay with it.

"Good," he murmured softly, his lips brushing again purely because he wanted to. The question made him smile softly and he slid entirely onto him, propping himself up to look down into his face. "Amazing," he said firmly because he knew that without a doubt. "Are you hungry?"

--

He couldn't help a soft chuckle at the sound, not above using it to his advantage even if that hadn't been his intention this time. His arms curled tighter around him, snuggling a little closer. Bucky felt absolutely perfect, just as he always had. There was something nice about knowing that wanting hadn’t eased even a little on either side.

"Good," he said softly, smiling up at him, his hands running lazily along his back. He hummed an affirmative at the question, tipping his head up to kiss him properly good morning. Food seemed like it had been a very long time ago, but he was just as happy to stay curled up here with him for a while longer.

--

He was all too happy to have Steve take full advantage of his appreciation. He was perfectly suited to curling up into him and staying pressed against the long, warm lines of him. He couldn't imagine the wanting dimming any time soon, not when it only seemed to gain momentum the more they had each other.

He hummed happily into the kiss, his hands sliding up into his hair as he returned it. It was a hard thing to be torn over, snuggling with him or feeding him and taking care of him. "I believe I promised you waffles in bed," he murmured against his lips with a smile.

--

"In bed, huh?" He couldn’t not smile when Bucky was smiling and kissing him at the same time. It was like a law of nature. It helped that he just made him happy, and he didn’t even have to do anything but be himself.

"Alright, baby. Let's get breakfast," he agreed, reluctant to leave his arms even for a few minutes. Steve probably wasn't capable of just letting him do everything. He'd feel like a jerk if he didn’t get out of bed and help him.

--

"In bed," he teased with a soft, happy laugh. He couldn't remember smiling so much or so easily in recent memory, and certainly never through kisses. In that, he already knew that Steve was good for him.

He wouldn't complain about them staying close, about being within arm's reach of Steve whenever they had the opportunity to be. "Can't have you wasting away on me, you need your energy."

--

That laugh was rapidly becoming one of his new favorite sounds. "That's true. I plan on putting it to good use," he murmured, nipping softly at the corner of his jaw. He was actually starving, so food wasn't the worst idea even if it meant getting out of bed.

He kissed him again softly and then forced himself to at least make an effort toward getting up. He knew just how easy it would be to get destracted by him. He stole Bucky’s shirt off the floor and pulled it on along with his own jeans. It was soft and it smelled like him and he might not get it back today.

--

He shivered lightly at the soft nip and the promise in his words, the agreement to be back what was now tonight rising in his memory. "I'm sure we can make that happen," he grinned lightly.

He watched him slide out of bed for a moment, his eyes lingering on him with a quiet sound of approval. Watching him put on his shirt sent a flare of possessive smugness through him and he slid off the bed. His hands slid around his hips to pull him close and he pressed against him, uncaring of his own nudity. "I like you in my shirt," he murmured before pulling away to tug on his own jeans.

--

If they made it until tonight, Steve would be impressed with their willpower. He wasn’t sure he could be trusted to have a whole morning in bed with Bucky and keep all their clothes on, even with as epically satisfying as last night had been. That particular hunger never really went away. He still craved him on his skin and under his hands.

He cast a smile over his shoulder. Steve was no exhibitionist, but he didn’t mind Bucky’s eyes on him. He let his hands slide over all that delicious skin as he tugged him close and resisted the urge to let Bucky take his clothes right off again. "I like it too." His eyes were dark on him as he watched him dress, the need to draw him almost as strong as the need to touch him again.

--

He couldn't imagine wanting to keep his hands off of Steve, especially if they had a whole morning to laze about in bed together. All he had to do was see him, or talk to him, and that hunger rose quicker than he'd ever expected. He would certainly never tell him no, always willing to be under his hands, to press himself into his skin.

He had never really thought of himself as an exhibitionist, but he couldn't help watching Steve. He shivered under his hands, a soft groan escaping him as he yanked hard on his own control so he could make sure he was fed and taken care of. Once he was dressed, he leaned to kiss him softly, "Waffles."

--

He couldn't help a smile at the reaction, knowing he was just as affected by him. "C'mon, gorgeous. The sooner we go, the sooner we can get back." He reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together, and brought it up to his mouth to lay a kiss against his knuckles.

Steve was barely aware of the people in the campus cafeteria, too busy making moon eyes at Bucky to pay attention to their surroundings. He’d only looked around long enough to be sure Ian wasn't there, since he’d never ignore his brother if he was around. He’d text him a little later to check in and maybe study a while or watch a movie before he went back to Bucky’s tonight.

--

He didn't have to think about it at all as he slid his hand into Steve's, his eyes going soft at the press of lips to his knuckles. There was no reason for him to care about what anyone in the cafeteria thought about the way he looked at Steve, the way he stayed in his orbit. All that really mattered to him was getting him fed and spending what time they had together for the day.

As they ate, he brushed his hand gently along his thigh when he watched him scan the space. He was honestly surprised that he had managed to keep so much of Steve's time and attention. The bratty part of him was happy for it, wanted more of it, but the rest of him knew that it wasn't the way it would always be.

--

Steve didn't put a lot of stock in what other people thought, as a general rule. He knew who he was and what he stood for without anyone there to tell him. He knew he wasn’t going to get as much time like this with Bucky as he wanted, and he was determined to give him his full attention while he could. He didn’t care what it looked like from the outside or if their friends made fun of them later. He was happy, and Bucky was happy. Nobody else got an opinion this morning.

"In bed," he reminded him, giving his hand a gentle tug toward the exit when they got their food rather than finding a table to eat at. He was being selfish this morning and didn't want to share him. He wanted privacy and blankets and snuggles and more of Bucky’s happy laughter, and he wanted waffles in bed to be a Sunday morning habit instead of a one time thing.

--

There was no stopping the nearly dopey smile that spread over his face at the reminder. Stealing away as much time as they could have was everything he could want. He didn’t mind that what time they had for just them would be limited. He already knew that they would make the best out of what they did manage to have.

It was a quick trip back to his room with their breakfast and he was glad for it as they walked back in. He’d happily do this every Sunday morning, if they could. “Settle back in,” he murmured, kissing him softly. He went to grab his tablet from the charger to turn on something silly they didn’t actually have to pay attention to.

--

Steve was already rearranging his whole life in his head to make room for Bucky in it. He was the sort of person who appreciated a plan, and without some measure of scheduling, his life just didn't work. It would be easy to fit him in some places, with studying and the gym and sometimes with Ian or their friends, but he wanted to make sure there was time that was just for them too, whether that was date night or just relaxing in his room together.

That smile out of him made it all worth it, and then some. He settled in the bed with his back resting against the wall and their food in easy reach and held out an arm for him to snuggle close. Waffles weren’t the easiest thing to eat wrapped around each other, but he figured if they had showering and laundry to do anyway, it didn’t matter if they made a mess. "Cartoons?" he requested with a smile. They were just a weekend morning thing and wouldn't require a lot of attention.

--

The concept of someone rearranging everything to fit him into their life the way Steve was absolutely boggled his mind. He knew there was no way he wouldn't fall painfully in love with him if this wound up working out well. Even if it didn't, he couldn't help but think that he would. Every bit of time they spent together just added to that.

He happily snuggled into him at the offered arm, uncaring that it would make eating breakfast harder. He just wanted to be close more than he really wanted to eat. "Absolutely," he agreed, loving the idea of Sunday morning cartoons, cuddles in bed, and waffles with Steve. "I've got the good stuff," he grinned and pulled up the good Scooby Doo cartoon.

--

It wasn’t a one-sided thing. Bucky was doing his best to fit into Steve’s life too. It wouldn’t have worked if they weren't both trying, and he very much wanted to try with him. He’d never been in danger of falling in love before, and most of the time, he thought that was probably a good thing. But he could see how easy it would be with Bucky if things stayed like this.

He pressed a soft kiss into his hair when he snuggled close, soothed already by having him near again. "The best," he agreed with a soft laugh. Scooby Doo was probably universally beloved, and Steve had a soft spot for animation. It wasn’t so far off from the kind of drawing he liked to do, although his comics were more realistic. He could still admire the work that went into it.

--

There was no way that he wouldn't try to do everything he could to help their lives line up, even a little bit. He wanted to make time for Steve, for the cuddles and softness and affection that he offered him in whatever time he had. He refused to take anything from Ian, knowing how important that was for both Rogers, but he wanted to fit in their world.

Tipping his head, he pressed his lips to his lightly. He didn't know if he'd ever be able to resist that impulse, but he didn't think Steve would begrudge it from him. "We can always watch cartoons, baby," he murmured, knowing that Steve drew. It wasn't a hard connection to make, really, and he wanted him to be happy.

--

"I don't mind mixing it up," he assured him with a soft smile. He liked cartoons and Disney movies, and he remembered Bucky mentioned sci-fi at dinner. He’d be glad to watch his favorites with him. He wanted to know everything Bucky loved.

When they were done eating, he moved their plates aside and tugged him more fully into his arms. "Come here," he murmured, leaning close to steal a soft kiss. It hadn’t been long at all, and he still couldn't resist. His lips tasted like maple syrup.

--

He laughed softly, "Weekend mornings were like.. MADE for cartoons, though." It was one of the constant things of his childhood, even if the language had varied in the channel. Sci-fi movies were great any other times, same as Disney and anything else. There was just something about cartoons, of any kind, that felt like the most perfect weekend morning fit.

He happily went with that tug and laid himself along him. Tipping his head up into that kiss, he hummed softly, "Always." He wanted to taste Steve every way he came, and maple syrup was just one of those irresistible additives to an already irresistible man.

--

"It's true. What else did you like, as a kid?" He chuckled softly in agreement, remembering countless weekend mornings with Ian growing up. They were both fond of superhero shows, obviously, and it showed itself in their comic. Stories, art, film, those were the things that helped them through the rough times.

He liked the feeling of Bucky's body pressed alongside his, and his arm curled more tightly around him as he smiled into their kiss. "Thank you for breakfast," he murmured, lingering on those lips. He'd made other promises for today, like helping him with the laundry, but surely it could wait a few more minutes.

--

The question made him pause to try and think, having to go back a little further than was reasonable for most people. "I liked the classic Looney Tunes," he mused, the words careful like he didn't quite trust his memory. "But honestly? Most of my childhood was spent doing what other people wanted me to do." He hated bringing in the old edges of his life when they were having a wonderful, soft morning together.

Being curled into Steve in bed was rapidly becoming one of his favorite things. He was happy to linger in their kisses, to stay just like this, until something else drove them out from necessity or responsibility. "Thank you for staying," he said quietly in the minimal space between them.

--

His hand slid through his hair, trying to soothe the ache of old memories. He was sorry to drag that into their happy present, but he also wanted to know Bucky, everything about him, even the bad things. "Don’t do that with me, okay?" he requested softly. "I want us to be happy. Partners." He'd hate to think Bucky was only trying to please him and not make himself happy too. Nobody should have to live like that.

"I wanted to, sweetheart," he murmured, tipping his forehead to his. "Thanks for asking me." At no point had Steve wanted to leave him, and he knew he wouldn’t want to when the time came later either. This was too soft, too comfortable, too entirely wanted for him to want to walk away from him. The only thing soothing it was knowing he’d be back later.

--

He relaxed under that soothing hand, knowing that Steve didn't mind those dark edges and had some of his own. "I won't," he promised, quiet but firm. This whole year at school was him finally doing what was good for him, what actually made him happy. "Partners," there was wonder in his voice at the word, a quiet wanting for just that. "I think we can do that."

A soft smile spread across his face at the gentle touch of his forehead and he knew that he was absolutely sunk and didn't even want to tread water when it came to Steve and their relationship. "I always want you here," he admitted softly, "You're always welcome." He couldn't imagine turning him away, not when he wanted him right here with him, wanted to give him every bit of softness and affection he had.

--

"I think we can too." His smile was soft, his fingers still moving lazily through his hair. It was a different kind of claiming than they'd done last night, but he wanted it just as much. Being curled together on the bed with lazy breakfasts and quiet conversations about their future made him so soft inside.

That beautiful smile couldn't help but make him smile back, his heart fluttering with it. It felt good to make Bucky so happy. "Then I'll be here a lot," he promised. He wanted the time with him, even if they weren't doing anything particular. Studying or watching movies or just laying here talking or snuggling. "You're welcome at mine too. Just know my roommate doesn't miss anything," he chuckled softly. Matt was unusually perceptive, and Steve had stopped trying to figure it out. He wasn’t much for secrets anyway.

--

He liked this just as much as everything from last night, even more, really. It was the promise of a future, of having a partner to stand with him and support him, to let him do the same thing for him. His thumb brushed lightly over his side where he held on to him, gentle affection that he liked being able to show him.

"I like the sound of that," he murmured happily. He didn't care what they did with it, he just wanted whatever time they could have together. "Whenever you want," he agreed easily, happy to do either. He chuckled and shook his head, "Then at least we know, we mostly behave at yours."

--

Steve didn't discount chemistry or compatibility in bed. They were factors in a relationship, and no doubt he and Bucky had both in spades. But they weren’t as important as being soft and quiet together, or sharing little real life moments together, or valuing the same things. He’d meant what he said. He wanted a partner, someone he could lean on and who could lean on him.

His fingers drifted softly through his hair, enjoying all the light touches. "Definitely. He can already tell whether I've been hanging out with you or Ian, and you weren't even in the room," he chuckled softly. To be fair, Ian sometimes reeked of pot these days. Steve was still waiting for his brother to come to him with that. Sam had come clean about it as soon as it happened, but he wasn’t going to betray that trust.

--

There were a lot of factors when a relationship and they officially knew that chemistry and in bed were not problems. He'd worried, a little, in the dark of time alone after meeting him, after their dates, that Steve would learn something that made him walk away. With every date, that fear lessened slightly. With last night, it had drastically reduced. Knowing now, too, that they could have these moments too? He knew he'd be completely lost to Steve and wouldn't even care.

A quiet laugh escaped him and he shook his head, "You have a superhero for a roommate or something." There was something nice about that, though, that he left a telltale sign on Steve during their time together. Aside from the literal marks he'd pressed into his skin over the course of the night, of course.

--

There was nothing he could learn about Bucky’s past that would make him walk. The only real deciding factors for that were if there was something about Ian or Steve himself that Bucky couldn’t handle. He knew his life wasn't the easiest to fit into. He really wanted to try to make room for Bucky in it though. He couldn’t stand to let something this good just slip right by him.

"I think he might be," he agreed with a soft laugh. "He can't see me, and he can still kick my ass in boxing." His and Ian's roommates had been another unexpectedly good thing here. Matt was a good person, a good friend, and while Ian was closer with Sam than Steve was, he thought he could be too eventually. He was good to his brother, and there was no quicker way to win Steve’s trust.

--

He couldn't imagine anything so bad about Ian or Steve that would make him walk. Trauma wasn't anything he was unfamiliar with and he had his own share of it. If Steve wanted him in his life and was willing to make the room, Bucky would happily do everything he could to fit in it. Already, they were good together, and he knew that they could get even better given time and opportunity.

He liked the way Steve laughed and he wanted to hear it as often as possible. "Impressive," he chuckled, "Makes me wanna try." No one could say that Bucky was really entirely sane sometimes. He was glad that the Rogers boys had gotten roommates that they got on well with. He would have hated to think what would have happened if it had gone the opposite way.

--

Pretty much everyone in Steve and Ian's lives had walked when their mom got sick. People couldn't handle it or didn't want to, and he didn’t have the energy left over to try to explain it to them. Grief was isolating. There was no real way to know if Bucky would stick by him through something like that, and he fervently hoped they didn't have to find out. He wanted to trust him anyway.

"You should. He's a good sparring partner. I've learned a lot." Matt had years of practice on him, and he was a patient teacher. He didn’t think they'd really hurt each other, not in the practice ring where the point was to get better, not necessarily to win. Having good roommates had been an unexpected blessing. Steve could get along with most people, but it was a relief to actual consider Matt a friend.

--

His experience was that grief only mattered so far with most people. When it became inconvenient to them, they didn't want to deal with it any longer from anyone not them. He had been forced through his own grief of losing his parents faster than he had really been ready for. The last thing he could ever do was hold someone's grief against them, let alone abandon them during it.

Finding himself in Wakanda one moment and London in another was... disorienting, to say the least. Finding that he couldn't leave London no matter how many motorcycles or hammers or lightning was thrown at the invisible wall around the city was entirely something else. Steve didn't have the first idea of what was happening here. Magic was way out of his depth. He might have thought someone had deliberately trapped them here, if not for the sudden change in location. He thought Wanda was potentially powerful enough to do both, but she didn't have the motive. Tony's brand of science didn't look anything like this.

His mindset was beginning to shift from getting out to getting on with his life though. He was running out of ideas on the former, and to be fair, it wasn't the first time he'd found himself in an unfamiliar world on the latter. There were only so many times he could hurl himself against the bars of that particular cage. Thor's power couldn't touch it, which meant it was a thinking problem and not a brute force one, and those took time. Deep down, if he was being completely honest with himself, he didn't really care where he was as long as Bucky was there.

Steve would gladly spend the rest of his life living out of this shitty motel room with him if that was their only option, but it wasn't. He'd started picking up shifts for cash at a local garage until something more permanent came along. He'd picked up a newspaper along with dinner on his way home to look for jobs and apartments, and he set both on the wobbly table when he came in. He could only ignore reality for so long. This was looking like it might be permanent, and while it wasn't ideal, he didn't see any reason they couldn't figure out a life here.

-- The sad truth of his life was that he was very used to finding himself in places and times that he hadn't been in before. The memories were all there, jarring and painful with every jump of time between stasis. Even worse was the intimately familiar feeling of being trapped and contained. It didn't matter inside his own mind, in a chair, or in a city. Being a prisoner was a familiar feeling for James Buchanan Barnes. He'd spent most of his life as one. He'd never expected it to stay any different, despite what he'd been told.

He could feel the most dangerous part of him still lurking, the box in his mind just waiting for that terrible key. He supposed he should be grateful they were trapped in a city where he wouldn't hear Russian as a general rule. It didn't change that he was still dangerous, but now he was dangerous trapped in an inescapable city with the one person he couldn't stand to hurt... Again. He glared at the arm on the table, having taken it off when a wave of guilt wracked him when Steve was out.

He'd showered without it, was tugging on his shirt when he heard the door open. He'd gotten good at finding things to do for money that people just didn't ask questions for, and it worked while they figured this all out. He'd been hesitant to stay with Steve, terrified of hurting him, but unable to be far because he hated to see him sad. Walking out, he raised an eyebrow at the newspaper.

--

Nothing ever prepared him for having Bucky so near all the time. He could smell the soap from the shower, his hair curling damply over his neck, and Steve was just grateful he was dressed. Don't stare. Don't stare. Don't stare. He was staring, but not at Bucky, as if the newspaper could possibly be that interesting. He couldn't have recalled a single word on the page. If nothing else, getting a place of their own meant having a little more space, and maybe he could finally draw a goddamn breath. They hadn't lived on top of each other like this since the war, and Steve was losing his mind.

Or maybe Bucky wouldn't want to live with him at all, in which case he'd rather stay here in this excruciating limbo where he got to be near the person he loved the most and never have him. He raised his head, answering the silent question. "It doesn't look like we're getting out of here any time soon. So I thought we could look for a place. If you want to. Stay together, I mean."

That uncertainty wasn't like him. Steve was the man with a plan. But all his plans had been upended, and he didn't know where they stood now. He didn't think he could stand to be far from Bucky again. (He knew he couldn't. The idea alone felt like a panic attack.) But he couldn't expect... What? For his best friend to stay with him forever? Whatever Bucky's fears about what still lurked in his mind, he didn't need a babysitter. Steve never worried he would hurt someone, least of all him. That wasn't why he needed him close.

--

It had been so long since he'd had Steve so constantly close that he'd forgotten how absolutely maddening it could be. There were things about Steve that never made it into the history books, into the descriptions of Captain America. The ridiculous length of his eyelashes around ocean eyes that could challenge Mother Nature herself, the way that one lock of hair at the front of his head curled against deceptively soft skin, or the way his muscles bunched and released when he threw the shield or stretched in the comfort of a safe place, they were all things that no one else really knew but that put an ache in him having him so close to be constantly reminded.

He also knew the way Steve's eyes shifted when he was hurting, when he had a secret, or when he just was at a loss as to what to do. It perplexed him to see a hint of it when he raised his head to look at him, furthered by the unsurety of his words when he spoke. Swallowing lightly, he tried to process, considered running as fast and far as he could even though he knew it would do a bit of good.

As terrified as he was of hurting Steve, of hurting anyone, he knew that being in the same city and not being together would hurt his best friend too. It would hurt him, but that was something he was more than used to. "No one else I'd rather be with, punk," he murmured softly, and that was the truth, even if it wasn't all of it. He'd gotten used to living in the hellscape of his mind, he was sure he could adapt to living in the hell his heart would suffer being so close to Steve all the time now and stay silent.

--

That hesitation ached inside of him. He told himself it shouldn't hurt if Bucky didn't want to spend all his time with his childhood best friend. Steve knew this was temporary, even if they did find a place together. Eventually, Bucky was going to find someone who could appreciate that soft, beautiful heart of his, and he would lose him. He'd braced for it all through their years of living together in Brooklyn. It was good. It was how it should be. Bucky deserved to be happy, and Steve wouldn't stand in his way. He told himself he just wasn't ready for it to be so soon, and he knew he was a liar. He would never be ready.

He did his best to bury that sadness because he didn't want it to sway him. He didn't want Bucky to stay for his sake. He wanted him to stay because he wanted to. The look he gave him was swift but assessing, and he trusted that he knew Bucky well enough to catch him in a lie. He couldn't be sure that was the whole truth, but it was close enough not to call him on it. "Not sick of me yet, huh?" He gave him a half-smile, a little of the tension easing out of him. He set it aside for now, his attention shifting to dinner. "Hungry?"

--

There was no one else in the world that Bucky ever wanted to be close to the way he wanted to be close to Steve. He couldn't let himself, but it didn't stop the wanting, it never had. He couldn't even imagine anyone looking at him, at his past, his trauma, his existing problems, and choosing to take a chance on him. He couldn't understand why Steve wanted to keep him close after everything he had caused and cost him.

Knowing that he could tell when he lied, he'd gotten good at dancing at the edge of the truth, a dangerous game for his head and heart to play but so necessary. The corner of his lips lifted in something of a smile, the fleeting ghost of it that passed for one with him these days, anyway. "Could never be," he assured him, because that much was entirely true. No part of him would ever be sick of being around Steve, not when he craved it and needed it like breathing. "Sure," he agreed, even knowing he wouldn't eat half of what he really should.

--

Bucky hadn't *caused* any of that. Nothing that had happened, from falling from the train all the way to ending up in alternate universe London, hadn't been his choice or his fault. All those things were other people taking Bucky's choices away from him, and even thinking about it made Steve angry all over again. At himself, for taking it at face value that couldn't have survived the fall and not coming for him sooner. At Hydra, for twisting all the best parts of Bucky to their own purposes. At Tony and everyone else who insisted on holding him responsible for things that weren't in his control.

Anger wasn't getting them out of here though, and even Steve knew when to shelve it and focus on something else. He didn't know how that could possibly be true, but he could see that it was. That ghost of a smile hurt almost as much as it gave him hope. It was better than the dead-eyed hopelessness of when he'd first found him again, but it wasn't anything resembling happy either. He reached out, giving his shoulder a light squeeze before he set himself to unpacking the food. He worried about Bucky's eating habits too, but he'd never say anything about it. He just tried to make sure they always had something on hand that he liked.

--

They had very different ways of looking at Bucky's past and how it had affected Steve's life, which was understandable. He still struggled with it all, and he likely would for a very long time. In the grand scheme of things, there wasn't a lot that could have been done. No one should have been able to survive that fall, certainly not someone that had been wholly unaltered as far as the rest of the world had been concerned. He'd never shared his suspicions before he fell, not wanting to be turned into a lab rat anymore than he'd already been. Now, it was hardly any wonder he preferred to steer clear of clinical spaces.

Dancing that line of truth and secrecy was hard, and he didn't know how long he could really do it before it drove him to desperation, but he was going to try. He wasn't sure happiness was something he was going to reach, wanted to tell Steve not to hope for that. Stilling carefully under his hand, he took a slow breath and forced himself to just stay still for a moment before he moved away. Grabbing his arm, he battled with himself for a moment before putting it on. He couldn't deny the relief his body felt, the balance taking away some of the ache in his spine.

--

If there was something Steve hated most about being stuck in this place, it was that it had taken all hope of getting the trigger words out of Bucky's head any time soon. They didn't exactly know or trust anyone else here who could do that. Steve wasn't afraid for his safety or anyone else's, but Bucky's well-being suffered for it and who could blame him. Just once, he'd like it if the world wasn't breathtakingly unfair to his best friend.

"Sorry," he said softly, jerking his hand back at that sudden stillness. Steve could hardly blame him for not wanting to be touched after everything he'd been through. Even with decades apart, it was a hard habit to kill when his whole body ached to hold him. That wasn't fair to Bucky, and he shoved it down to examine never. It didn't do any good to think like that. They didn't really have plates, so he just grabbed a container and a plastic fork and went to sit on the bed.

--

Bucky was terrified for Steve's safety, every moment they were together, but it was hardly a new feeling. Having to live, every day, knowing there was no way to deprogram him and make him safe to be around hurt more than he could say. He finally had a chance at a life spent at Steve's side and it made him scared shitless because it was the last place he needed to be.

The apology wrenched something in his chest and he was quick to shake his head. He wanted to reach out, grab his hand and put it back, but he couldn't let himself. How was he supposed tell him that he wanted his hands on him more than anything, that he was always welcome in his space, without giving away how he felt? Grabbing his container and a fork, he followed him to the bed and contemplated for a moment before sitting next to him, close enough for their arms to press together. Turning on the tv for noise, he ate a bite, waiting to see how it settled before finally talking, "You can touch me, Steve, it's okay."

--

Steve wasn't afraid of Bucky. Afraid for him, plenty, but never of him, with or without the arm or the trigger words. He'd pulled him back before, and he was sure he could do it again if he had to. He just hoped for Bucky's sake that they never had to. There shouldn't be anyone in this city who knew how to control him, but honestly, when had they ever been that lucky. Steve was going to be in a punch first, ask questions later state of mind if he so much as heard the word longing in Russian. Bucky was safe to be around. He would make sure of it.

He wasn't expecting him to sit so close, but he wasn't going to be the one to put space between them when it was the last thing he wanted. He knew well enough to know it was a direct result of what had just happened though, and he didn't know if Bucky was trying to prove something to him or to himself. He didn't have any attention to spare for the TV and promptly tuned it out. "It's okay," he said quietly. "I understand if you can't have people close, and I shouldn't surprise you like that. I just forget because it's you." Because no matter what Hydra tried to twist him into, he was always his Bucky, the one person Steve never minded in his space, even when it was making him absolutely crazy.

--

The hardest part about his trigger words was that every single one of them was used because it dug into the deepest parts of him. He never wanted to risk Steve, and he knew what the man himself would say about that. It didn't make it any easier. He couldn't bring himself to run from him again, to try to hide from him. He wanted to be close, a weakness he knew better than to give into but was too tired to keep fighting entirely.

He wouldn't lie and say this wasn't directly because of what just happened, but he wasn't trying to prove anything to himself. He was being selfish while trying to show Steve that it really was okay. Looking down at his food, he set the container away when his body tried to riot. "Steve," he said his name carefully, trying to keep the heartache out of it, "If I didn't want you to touch me, I wouldn't let you." That much was a truth, but he couldn't say it was a simple one. He wanted his hands on him more than anything, and that was unfair to Steve because he couldn't understand just how he wanted that and the depths to which it went.

--

There wasn't anywhere to run in this city, but Steve was grateful he hadn't tried. He liked to think he was a big enough person to let Bucky go if he needed the space, but he truly didn't know. He couldn't stand the idea of being apart from him, and he knew that even getting out of this motel room and sleeping in separate bedrooms was going to be a challenge for him. When he woke from the nightmares that were near-constant for both of them, he wanted to know he was safe.

Guilt tugged at him for upsetting him enough to put him off his food. If he were being honest, Steve hadn't tasted a bite of his either. He wasn't much of a cook, but it would be nice not to have to live on takeout. He couldn't possibly miss the hurt in his voice, but there was so much of it lately that he couldn't tell it apart from the rest and couldn't even dream of its source. "Okay," he agreed softly, leaning slightly into him. It was no more contact than they'd already had, just a gentle increase of the pressure against his arm, a reassurance for both of them that it was fine.

--

The hardest part about the idea of running was how much he really didn't want to. He wanted to be with Steve, wanted to stay where they were close, where he knew he was safe. The driving need he'd always felt to be at Steve's side really had never wavered, even as it made things harder for his heart. He wasn't sure how this was going to work in the long term, being afraid of himself while giving in to the necessity of being at Steve's side.

If he knew the guilt his best friend was trying to take on over his food, he'd have had something to say about it. His eating habits had been bad since he'd broken his conditioning, his body just unable to process food well at times. Bad mental days often resulted in very little actual eating happening. He relaxed slightly when he leaned into him, the gentle pressure helping soothe him a little. "Good. Now stop feeling guilty about everything," he muttered, leaning into him in return.

--

Steve could handle everything he'd lost when he went into the ice, but losing Bucky was the one wound that had never properly healed. He could feel the ache of every year he'd had to live without him, and knowing they'd all been so much worse for him tore him wide open. He could barely breathe around it. He didn't know how he was going to function if he didn't get to come home to him, if he didn't know every day that he was as safe as Steve could make him.

He snorted softly at the sheer audacity of that statement. There was definitely a pot/kettle joke in there somewhere. "You first," he muttered back, elbowing him. Because he was actually a five year old. That juvenile humor was one of the sides Bucky could bring out of him, one of few people who could or even knew that it was there. Thor had, once upon a time, but he was dealing with his own sadness here. One more thing Steve felt guilty about.

--

Bucky couldn’t imagine how Steve had felt, living with the weight of his death, everything that had happened after he’d resurfaced. He knew how to live with the weight of his own sins, he didn’t have much choice, but Steve didn’t deserve the pain he’d been put through. Anything he could do to keep from adding to it, he would.

A soft laugh escaped him and he elbowed him back before poking him in the side. “Stop feeling guilty when it comes to me, then,” he clarified before setting to tickle because he couldn’t bear all the weight he saw on Steve’s shoulders. Those blue eyes were made for happiness, that beautiful face for laughter, and both were painfully rare.

--

He was asking for the impossible. As long as he lived, Steve would feel guilty for leaving Bucky alone in the deepest hell for so long. It didn't matter that he hadn't known. He should have read the signs. He should have looked harder for him, should have found him sooner once he knew. A part of him knew that Bucky hadn't wanted to be found then, that he'd had some memories of Steve and had chosen to stay hidden from him. The knowledge didn't ache as much as thinking maybe he'd prefer that now too, if Steve would just let him go.

He wasn't going to argue with him though. Not when the sound of that laughter, so rare and precious, was seizing his heart in his chest. He squirmed a little under the poking, but he should have known that was an invitation for full-on tickling. He just wasn't expecting it from this version of Bucky. "Are you serious right now?" He gave a short, surprised laugh until he realized he was, in fact, not serious at all. "What are you, five?" he teased, barely managing to set the container on the end table before he scattered fried rice all over both of them. It left him wide open to attack though, and he laughed more fully as it became an all-out tickling war.

--

Then, just like now, Bucky had been trying desperately not to hurt Steve. Then, he couldn't bear to see the heartache at the holes in his memories, when he was only Bucky Barnes in fits and spurts. Now, he remembered, but in some ways that was worse. Knowing exactly how they had been and knowing that he could never really make it back to that was a painful reality.

Taking full advantage of the squirm was more an instinct than an active thought, one of the few he could let himself give into with Steve. His eyebrow arched in challenge at him when he asked if he was serious. Serious about getting him to smile, absolutely, to hear that sweet laugh, however short, as much as he could, absolutely. When he set his dinner off, he attacked in every open weak spot, cataloguing what really made him squirm and laugh. It soothed something in his chest to hear him laugh and made it so very, very worth it.

--

Steve in no way expected him to go back to the Bucky he'd been in the 40s. Hell, Steve wasn't the same guy he'd known back then either. Everything had changed for them, and they'd had to change with it to survive. He wanted to know the person Bucky was now, and he wasn't frightened by the changes. He couldn't imagine a version of him that he wasn't completely, hopelessly in love with.

Trying to win a tickle fight with the world's best spy and assassin was an exercise in futility. Bucky was absolutely relentless, and Steve couldn't seem to keep more than one of his hands pinned at a time. He gave a soft, playful growl, swinging a leg over him in an effort to keep him halfway pinned down and keep tickling back, but he was laughing too, and it felt amazing just to do something completely ridiculous for a change.

--

He had accepted that he couldn't go back to the way he used to be. Hell, he'd accepted that reality before his fall. His problem with it came to not knowing if he would ever be good for Steve to be around again. He wanted to be, because he'd been in love with Steve since he could understand that's what it was. It was the one thing that tied every one of his lives together: Bucky Barnes loved Steve Rogers.

It was absolutely ridiculous, this tickle war that had exploded, but that laughter was everything to him, even if being so close would become problematic sooner rather than later. Between the growl and being pinned under his leg, his brain absolutely short-circuited and he was entirely happy to stay there. He pinned his leg where it was, even if he was still squirming away from the tickling.

--

That was all in his head, but Steve knew full well what a dangerous place a mind could be. Bucky was already good for him to be around. The best person, really. Nobody else cared as much about Steve Rogers, or had his back, or made him laugh, the way that Bucky did. It was no mystery to Steve why he'd fallen so hard back when they were teenagers, or why he still loved him after all this time. He'd accepted that he always would.

This was more non-violent contact than Steve had had with any person in years. He valued his team, but the Avengers weren't really the cuddling sort. Getting legs involved had been a miscalculation since he was ticklish there too, as Bucky knew full well. It was at least as much wrestling as tickling now, with no clear winner. "Truce?" he offered, laughing as they both squirmed.

--

One thing that would never change was that Steve Rogers was always the most important person to him. The suit, the shield, they didn't matter as far as he was concerned. Someone had to give a damn about the man in the suit, and that had always been Bucky first. Loving him was just a part of that, as much a part of him as breathing because it simply was, and it always would be.

Swallowing hard, he was rapidly trying to reengage his brain, to fix the short circuit that had occurred but he was struggling. There was more happiness, more softness, on his face than he'd seen there in years. Hearing him laugh and talk like he hadn't done since they were kids at home, made something snap in his chest. Leaning up, he pressed his lips to the corner of that smile, like he could make it stay there permanently before he realized what he'd done and froze.  Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck was all that was happening in his head and he debated how easily he could unravel himself and bolt, his mind racing to match the pace of his heart.

--

Steve was doing his best to blue-pencil from his consciousness the fact that he was practically wrapped around Bucky. They used to wrestle and goof around all the time when they were younger, and he remembered feeling exactly like this as a teenager, hyper-aware of every point of contact, his heart racing from the proximity. Except back then, he usually had an asthma attack and put a prompt end to it.

He felt a little like he was having an asthma attack now. His mind raced with every possible way that could have been an accident, but he knew there wasn't one. That wasn't a line they'd ever crossed before, much as he'd wanted to. His body was moving before he'd even consciously decided to chase those lips and kiss him properly, soft and lingering just long enough that there was no doubt it was intentional. If there was even the smallest chance Bucky wanted to kiss him, he couldn't let it pass by. He'd ruin himself wondering for the rest of his life.

--

He had tried so hard when they were younger not to give in to just how aware he was when Steve was close. Even then, he'd hardly been able to breathe and had always wondered if it was how Steve felt when his asthma kicked in. His head swam, he felt dizzy, and all he wanted was to focus on what felt like the one stable thing: him. He didn't know if it was thrill, panic, or both, probably both, coursing through him and he didn't have time to figure it out before Steve was actually kissing him.

Those hands that had been tickling, attacking, slid over him as he all but melted under him. He'd expected him to pull away, to put distance between them and stutter out an excuse as to how he definitely didn't feel that way for him. He'd never expected this. It was certain, intentional, and it drew a soft sound of need out of his chest because it was the one thing he'd always wanted. His limbs wrapped further around him and he pushed further up into him, into that kiss, softness slowly edging into more.

--

He wasn't prepared for the way he went soft and pliant under him, or for how much he'd like it that Bucky was reacting that way to him. It didn't make sense, and he couldn't possibly reason his way through it with those lips on his. He doubted he could reason his way out of a paper bag if Bucky was kissing him. He never wanted it to stop, but he was afraid to push any further, like the wrong move would shatter this moment and everything would go back to the way it had been.

That sound out of him put a swift end to that hesitation. It was a knife in his chest that Bucky had needed this and he'd never known, but he wasn't going to waste another second with him. He shifted further onto his lap, pinning him for real now as the kiss deepened, a little bit of that desperate hunger for him slipping out of his control. He didn't have a tight handle on his feelings for Bucky at the best of times, and he was the one person who could send every wall he had crashing down around him.

--

There was no sane, reasonable thought in his head with Steve kissing him, and any hope of gaining any back were gone the moment he fully pinned him under him. Any instinct he might have had to run, to put space between them, was gone in the face of an even older need: be as close to Steve Rogers as possible. He was exactly where he'd always wanted to be and it scared him as much as it thrilled him.

Feeling even the slightest bit of that desperation that he'd had buried for so long out of Steve made him quake, his limbs tightening. Deepening the kiss further, his own control loosened because it had always been tenuous when it came to Steve anyway.

--

There was desperation in it, but there was relief too, some long-held tension in him unwinding the more he melted into him. It felt so goddamn good just to tell the truth, finally, and even though he hadn't put words to it yet, he was still telling him everything. Bucky tasted better than he'd ever imagined, all that hard muscle under him like a dream. He half-expected to wake up any second because he always woke up from this dream. He never got to have him, not even in his mind.

He wanted to spend a lifetime just learning him like this, kissing him like it was more important than breathing because right now it was. He moaned softly into his mouth as he deepened the kiss, the feeling of Bucky quaking under him sending his mind straight into all the ways he might be able to make him do it again. His hand slid into his hair, tipping his head so he could kiss him more deeply.

--

He wasn't sure how he could breathe through the maelstrom of emotions, through the very fact that he was kissing Steve. He wasn't sure it was anything he could imagine getting used to this, the fact that Steve had initiated the actual kiss. The reality was that he never could have imagined how good he would feel over him, how good he would actually taste. It made his head swim in the best way, something he hadn't felt in so very long.

Heat slid down his spine, slow and molten, at the sound of that moan. It was hard to imagine that he affected Steve as much as he was affected by him, but the proof was right there. There was nothing he wouldn't give him, never had been, if he'd just asked. A ragged sound of need escaped him, his body arching up into him as he sank into that kiss.

--

He wasn't sure how he could breathe through the maelstrom of emotions, through the very fact that he was kissing Steve. He wasn't sure it was anything he could imagine getting used to this, the fact that Steve had initiated the actual kiss. The reality was that he never could have imagined how good he would feel over him, how good he would actually taste. It made his head swim in the best way, something he hadn't felt in so very long.

Heat slid down his spine, slow and molten, at the sound of that moan. It was hard to imagine that he affected Steve as much as he was affected by him, but the proof was right there. There was nothing he wouldn't give him, never had been, if he'd just asked. A ragged sound of need escaped him, his body arching up into him as he sank into that kiss.

--

Steve could easily get swept away in this. He wanted to. He couldn't stand the thought that Bucky might think this was just about sex for him though, some combination of trauma and stress that would never be repeated. It made his heart stall in his chest to wonder if it might be like that for him. He couldn't even blame him with as rough as things had been. It made sense to hold on to any good thing they could. It would kill some part of him to have this and not be able to keep it, but if he was being honest with himself, he'd accept any terms Bucky wanted. He wasn't sure he could ever tell him no in anything.

His breath stuttered at that sound, a hand sliding to his back to encourage that arch as his hips rolled gently against him. It was a promise that he wouldn't deny him anything, even as he slowly lightened the kiss. You could count on Steve to be clear about where he stood, and he wanted to be absolutely clear that this wasn't a new or passing thing for him. "I love you, Buck," he murmured, pressing another soft, lingering kiss to his lips. "I always have."

--

This would be so much easier if it were just about sex, if that were all he wanted from Steve. If all he wanted was to get lost and bury the stress and trauma in each other's bodies, he could do that without fear and worry. That would never be enough for him when it came  to Steve Rogers. He'd always been greedy for every piece of him he could have, had never expected he'd get this from him. He wanted everything from him, every bit of him that he would be allowed, even if he had to accept just one night.

His breath stuttered at the roll of his hips and it felt like his skin crackled with need. When the kiss lightened, he made a soft sound of disapproval, but he wouldn't keep Steve anywhere he didn't want to be. The words hit him like a ton of bricks and the next thing out of him was absolutely ragged. Slowly, he shook his head in disbelief, his throat tightening.

--

He thought he was prepared for any answer, but that didn't stop the pain, swift and sharp, that followed that shake of his head and that look of absolute panic. Steve knew his feelings were too raw to keep it from flickering across his face, and he dropped his gaze for just a second while he shoved that hurt and disappointment down deep. It was nothing he hadn't known all his life. Bucky didn't love him like that. If Steve was another sort person, he might have wished he hadn't said anything at all, but he couldn't lie like that to the person he loved. Not anymore.

"It's okay. You don't have to," he assured him softly. The last thing he wanted was for Bucky to feel guilty for not returning the feelings. He couldn't help how he felt anymore than Steve could. "This can be whatever you need it to be, okay? I'm not going anywhere." His hand ran soothingly along his side. He wanted to kiss him again and forget they'd ever stopped, but he didn't know if that was allowed anymore. He was trying to brace himself for him to pull away and for this to be over as quickly as it had started, and he knew he'd never be ready.

--

He would do anything in the world to take that look of pain off of Steve's face, to have prevented it from ever being there in the first place. It felt like someone had rammed him in the chest to know he was responsible for hurting the man he loved with the disbelief that he could. "No," he said quietly, barely a whisper, "no, no, stop." His hands slid into his hair and he kissed him desperately, his hands clinging like he could pull back that warmth and need.

"Don't... don't lie to me," his voice cracked, even in the whisper, "don't lie to me and say you can love a monster because it's what I want to hear more than anything." His hands soothed through his hair, an apology when he realized how tightly he'd tried to cling to him like he hadn't just lost the most important thing in his world. "I don't get to have that, Steve, so just... don't. Just... I'm sorry... I'm sorry I kissed you, that I couldn't... I couldn't NOT kiss you." The words were rough and ragged, some of the most he'd said in a very long time. "I have been in love with you," he paused to shake his head in pain, like he could clear the heartache, knowing he never could, "forever, it feels like. So don't try and..." He closed his eyes and waited for the weight of him to disappear, for the first warmth he'd felt in decades to disappear. "Please don't lie to me," he finally whispered again.

--

His whole body tensed to move away when he told him to stop, and Steve couldn't even blame him. Obviously, he'd completely wrecked whatever this was. But then Bucky's hands were in his hair, and the desperation in that kiss practically knocked him breathless. He couldn't do anything but tighten his arms around him and kiss him back just as fiercely. He didn't know what question was being asked here, didn't know how to reassure him that whatever it was, it would be okay, but he could give him this much.

He tried to wait patiently for him to get everything out, biting back the protest that sprung quick and vehement to his lips. It was coming either way, but first he needed to understand. There seemed to be multiple levels of miscommunication here, and Steve was trying to ignore the hope swooping in his chest when Bucky said he loved him. He smoothed a hand through his hair, much like Bucky had in apology, although Steve hadn't even registered the pain. "There isn't a monster here. Hydra is the monster," he said, firm as always on that point. "There's just my best friend. He's been through hell, but he's the best guy I know," he said softly. Rather than move off him, he settled more securely over him, fingers still running softly through his hair. "You don't ever have to apologize for kissing me. You can kiss me any time you want. You can *have* anything you want." He would fight for him to have it. He was fighting for them now, just with soft words and gentle touches.

The idea that Steve Rogers, of all people, might be lying about this would have been laughable if it wasn't breaking his heart. He could tell he truly didn't believe it, and that was his fault. Steve put that doubt there with his silence. "Bucky, sweetheart. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I ever gave you a reason to doubt me. I love you so much," he murmured, brushing lips over his jaw, his cheekbone, his forehead, while he spoke. "I love the kid from Brooklyn who pulled me out of a fight, and the one who followed me into hell knowing we might not come back. I love the man who was lost to me for eighty years, and I love the one who fought his way back to me every time. I love the worst thing you ever did. I love the darkest version of you, and the brightest. I love that every time you had a choice, you chose to be good. I've loved you my whole life. That's not a lie. It's the truest thing I know about myself."

--

When he met him with every bit of fierce desperation in that kiss, he knew that he'd be wrecked if he had to walk away from this. At least pain was something he was used to, he was accustomed to living with that heavy emptiness in his chest. He'd never tried to live with it with everything bared between them in the same city. He wasn't sure he could survive it. But he wasn't sure he was going to have a choice.

He wanted to protest when Steve started talking but his throat felt too tight for it, unable to process what he was hearing. None of it felt right, like a suit cut two sizes too big, to have someone believe in him that much. When he felt his weight shift, he was prepared to miss the warmth of him, but he wasn't prepared for him to settle fully over him. His eyes widened slightly in shock, a little in fear, and darkened a lot in wanting. He wanted to believe it was true, that they could have this, that he could have him as terrified as he was of it.

Every one of those soft brushes of his lips made him quake under him, his eyes closed because if he opened them he would wake up. He would wake up and be back in the chair, or in his tube already forgetting the golden man in his dreams with ocean eyes. "I don't doubt you, Steve," because at his core, he didn't, he never could. It just felt like something entirely too good to happen to him. "I love you. I just... You deserve better than me, than this." He wrapped tighter around him even as he said it. "But I want you. I love you. More than is sensible, obviously," the corner of his lips quirked in a wry, self-deprecating grin and vanished just as quick.

--

Steve didn't understand how Bucky ever thought he could walk away from him. He'd ripped the world in half to get him back. Whether he loved him back or not, he wouldn't lose him. He couldn't even imagine a thing that would make him run. It was the fear on his face that almost made him back off and put some more space between them, but Bucky had been holding on to him so tightly. He didn't think he really wanted him to go and hoped he was right about that.

He waited for the but that was sure to follow because it sounded like there was one. Steve wasn't sure what reasons he'd find acceptable that Bucky didn't want to do this. If he'd simply said he didn't want to, that probably would have been enough for him. You couldn't make someone love you back. He'd never try. But that certainly wasn't one of them.

"Isn't that for me to decide what I deserve?" He sank further into him as Bucky tightened his hold, not wanting to put more space between them. "There is nothing better than you. Not for me." He wanted to kiss the corner of that smile the way Bucky had to set all this in motion, but his eyes were serious on his face. "Do you? Want this?" Steve knew that love didn't always mean happy endings. It sounded more like Bucky was trying to talk them both out of it, and he didn't know what to do with that.

--

He hadn't thought he was worth it when he was ripping everything apart to keep him safe, and he'd said as much to him. He couldn't understand why he'd choose to love him on top of everything else. But, just because he couldn't understand it didn't make it any less real. Steve had stood by him, fought for him, and was the most steadfast person he knew.

"No, because you're really bad at protecting yourself sometimes," he teased quietly, even if it was true, his hand sliding through his hair again as he sank even more into him and made him feel grounded. He wanted Steve to have the whole world, and the best of everything in it. There was never going to be a time now when he thought of himself as anything purely good.

The question made him sigh softly, meeting those eyes that he'd seen in his dreams for years even when he couldn't remember why. "I do want this. I've always wanted you, Steve, and I thought I was going to go insane from that wanting and loving in this little place," he admitted, his throat trying to tighten again and he swallowed lightly. "It's not going to be easy," he warned him, knowing he would be the cause of so many struggles, "And I don't think it's a smart idea. But god help me, I want this."

--

"I don't need protecting from you," he murmured. That was a precarious thing to say when his heart was laid open for him to keep or break, but it belonged to him either way. Bucky would never hurt him. Even in the depths of his programming, Steve could tell he hadn't wanted to. They'd broken through it in the end. He hoped they'd never lose each other like that again, but he had faith that Bucky would always find his way back to him if they did.

Except for right now, when it sounded like he was halfway trying to convince himself to walk away. Fear tightened his chest that they might come so close to this just to lose it. It was one of the reasons he'd never spoken up. Bucky wasn't in any kind of condition for a relationship. He'd barely gotten a chance to start healing. "I know the feeling," he said softly. He couldn't manage a smile at the teasing right now, not with this ache of waiting for him to leave.

Not when Steve might be stupid enough to let him go. "When have I ever chosen easy?" The words felt leaden, and he sighed softly as he sat up, not moving off of him. "You can't tell me you think this a bad idea and that you want to do it in the same breath. That's not how I want to go into this. I... I don't ever want to do anything that's bad for you, Buck. If this isn't what you need right now, if you need more time, then we'll take it." He met his gaze, steadier now and certain. "I'll wait as long as it takes, because when I can have you, it's forever."

--

He wasn't so sure on that protest, but he let it go because there were a lot of things they needed to unpack in this conversation. The last thing he ever wanted to do in the world was hurt Steve, and he knew he already was again with the pained disbelief that he could want this, want him, or that he was good for him. He would always fight his way back to Steve, no matter how he was taken from him, he'd already shown that he could and would.

A soft sound of protest got stuck in his throat when Steve sat up and he followed, not dislodging him but rather wrapping his arm around his waist to keep them both steady. "Bad for me?" The idea of that made him blink and shake his head quickly before meeting his gaze again. Those solemn words, the intense certainty of them, had his heart hammering in his chest. "Forever?" There was hope in the soft question but he knew he had to make something very clear, first.

"You could never be bad for me," the words were quiet and fierce because he knew that for certain. "I think it's a bad idea because the trigger words are still there, Steve. The worst part of me is there, just lurking in the back of my head and it could kill you." His hand raised to gently brush along his cheek, "I think you deserve better than me, but that fear, that fear, is why I think it's a bad idea. I love you, and I want to be with you, I always have. But at what risk to you, Steve? The one thing I can't bear to lose."

--

His traitorous heart loved that he followed him because he didn't really want more space between them. His hand curled loosely over his hip, the other sliding into his hair, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone, his gaze clear and steady. "There's no other way for me. Not when it's you." He didn't have anything more to lose by putting all his cards on the table. Whether they did this or not, Steve was done with secrets. It had always been Bucky for him. It always would be.

"You didn't though," he assured him softly, tipping his forehead to his. "You came back to me. You'll always come back to me." It hadn't even taken long the last time. Without the torture, Bucky fought through it faster. "You're not going to lose me. I promise. We'll keep looking for a way to get the words out. They've taken enough from us. They can't have this too." The words were soft and fierce, a promise that Hydra wasn't getting another piece of them. They'd lost so much. Steve couldn't stand to lose this too. Even a chance with Bucky was more than he'd ever hoped to have.

--

The last thing that he wanted was distance between them, not after so long of keeping more than either of them had apparently wanted. He leaned softly into that hand, the gentleness in it making his heart stutter after going so long without. "I'd be at your side forever no matter how I did it, Steve," he promised softly, because he'd never let anything take him away again if he could stop it, if it could be stopped at all.

His eyes closed as their foreheads pressed together, taking a slow breath as he listened to him. Without the constant cryo, the chair, his brain seemed to heal far more rapidly and he could only hope that it applied to an ability to fight the trigger words too. He didn't know how else the words could be removed, but if anyone was stubborn enough to find a way, it was Steve. Those last words, so soft and fierce and piercing to his heart, broke his last resistance because he was right. Living in fear let them keep winning, keep controlling him.

Tipping his head, he caught his lips in a soft, slow kiss, a promise all its own. "You're right," he murmured against his lips. "They can't have this too. It's ours, it's us, the way we want to be together. I want it, Steve," he pulled back enough for grey eyes to meet blue, "I want us."

--

Realistically, Steve didn't know if there was anyone here who could help with something like that, but he would scour every inch of the city to try. Wakanda had surprised them, both by being able and willing to help with that. A part of him sensed this place would have its own surprises, and maybe not all of them would be bad. It hadn't been their choice to come here or to stay, but Steve could work with this. If it gave them this, it was already far more than he'd ever expected to have.

It was hard to believe he meant forever when Steve could still feel the ache of him pulling away, of thinking he didn't want to stay with him. He understood better now though, the fear that Bucky lived with and the sweet agony of living on top of the person he wanted most but couldn't have. His breath shook at that soft kiss, the promise in it shaking him to his core. He couldn't do anything but believe he meant it. Bucky would never lie to him about something like that, but disbelief seemed appropriate when the world handed him everything he'd ever wanted. "I want it too, Buck. It's always been us," he murmured, meeting those soft gray eyes.

--

The reality was that Bucky hadn't even entirely believed that the trigger words could be removed while they were in Wakanda. They had been so deeply buried in his mind for so long that he was afraid of what might happen if they were removed or messed with. None of them really knew, not even close. He didn't want to take that hope away from Steve though, or even from himself.

He hadn't wanted to pull away, it was the last thing in the world he ever wanted to do. He loved him, more than anything or anyone in the world. His hands slid gently through his hair as he tried to reassure both of them that this was his real choice. His thumbs slid gently across his cheekbones, kissing him again. "Then let's have it, baby," he said quietly.

--

Steve had to keep believing it was possible to break Bucky free of that. It had been deliberately put in his head, and there had to be a way to get it out as well. He'd also been on the outside of it though, and he'd seen the conflict on Bucky's face when he was trying to remember, when he didn't actually want to hurt him. No matter how Hydra tried to twist him, the man he loved was always in there, still fighting to be free.

He wanted to stay where he was and soak up every soft kiss and touch from him, and for once there seemed to be no reason he couldn't. "What do you want it to be, sweetheart?" Steve had already made it clear he was in this forever, but this wasn't just about him. It was the two of them now, making decisions together that were best for both of them. He could take it slow if that was what Bucky needed.

--

Once he'd gotten free, he had done his damndest to get as far out of Hydra's clutches as he'd been able. He would never stop fighting to be free of them, of every hold they had on him. Now, he just knew he would fight that much harder. He wanted to be worthy of that steady faith of Steve's.

He had decades of kisses and restrained touches to shower him in, and he wanted to now the he knew they were welcome. The question made him swallow lightly, his grey eyes going soft as he looked at him. "I really like the way forever sounded from you," he admitted softly, like Steve would want to take it back even though he knew better.

--

Steve would never stop fighting for Bucky to be free either, in every way possible. Coming here was an unexpected challenge, but he was finding it less daunting already now that he knew Bucky wanted to stay with him. He could handle anything as long as they were together. A peaceful existence in London with the love of his life was hardly the worst fate.

He would never turn down kisses or touches from him. He knew it was going to be harder than ever to put space between them now that he knew he was allowed this. "Forever it is, Buck," he assured him softly, his thumb running gently over his bottom lip before he kissed him. "Partners?" The word didn't seem big enough for what Bucky was to him, but none of them did.

--

He had always wanted to be with him, even when he'd made decisions otherwise to keep him safe. He knew that he couldn't always have what he wanted most. Or, at least, he hadn't been able to until now. The idea that he was being offered a life with the man he'd loved longer than he could remember felt a little bit surreal.

A part of him wondered if maybe keeping the space between them minimal could actually help, but he tried to reason that was just him desperately wanting Steve as close as he could have him all of the time. His tongue darted out slightly to catch his thumb before pressing into that kiss. "Partners," he agreed softly, his hands sliding deep into Steve's hair and deepening the kiss slowly.

--

Steve would be perfectly happy to test that theory with him. They'd spent a lifetime apart and hadn't found it much to their liking, so reason said they should try a lifetime together and see how that worked for them. It was practically science. He was just as guilty of not wanting any space between them as Bucky was. He felt good under him, where he knew exactly where he was and that he was safe.

He couldn't help the way his eyes followed the quick swipe of his tongue, and if he hadn't already been leaning in to kiss him, that would have done it. He made a small sound into the kiss, pressing in closer to him as Bucky's hands sank into his hair. He didn't mean to pour so much heat into it so fast, but he wouldn't have said his control was at its best right now either. Bucky wanted this, wanted him, and that was enough to loosen every last restraint he had.

--

His happiest excuse for doing just about anything was 'for science', and it had both amused Shuri and driven her a little crazy, he was sure. Spending a lifetime of minimal space after entirely too much forced space could absolutely be tucked into that category for him. The fact that he loved the feeling of Steve over him, that he felt safe and wanted, not trapped or hunted, he wasn't inclined to be much anywhere else.

That soft sound made him shiver that he could do that to him, that he could make him feel that much. After so long of being frozen, he wanted every bit of the heat that Steve was willing to give him. A ragged sound escaped him, wanting and needing and that desperate love that finally had a place to go all pouring out of him and into that kiss because he needed him to know, to understand how deep it all ran.

--

Steve could spend the rest of his life making sure Bucky was safe and wanted and loved. It was as he'd said. He'd always planned on forever with him, on whatever kind of life he could have at his side. But having it like this, knowing Bucky wanted him too, it was everything he'd never dared to hope for. It didn't really feel like something he could keep because they never got to keep anything this good, but he was holding on with everything he had.

He moaned softly into the kiss, melting under everything that Bucky was giving him. Steve had kissed people before. He'd done all of this before, but never like this, never when he felt like the wanting could easily overwhelm both of them. He gently pushed him back on the bed and followed him down, hands running over his sides beneath his shirt as he kissed him deep and hungry.

--

Bucky wasn't sure they were going to be allowed to keep it. What he was sure of was that they were both going to fight to keep it, to have this one thing for themselves and screw the rest of the world. It felt like the one thing that could save him, that could make him feel whole again. It felt different, not having to hold this part of himself back, the only part of him that was safe because it was Steve's.

None of the actions of this were new, he knew that, but the feeling behind it, the driving need behind it, that was new to be put into action. It had only ever been for Steve. He could drown in it, drown in him and when he pushed him back down, he melted for him. Arching gently into his hands, he encouraged every touch he wanted to give him, meeting that kiss with his own hunger.

--

Steve would always fight for him. He'd ripped the world and his team in half for him. Being trapped here had felt like a punishment, but he didn't feel that way now. He couldn't understand why he was being given everything he'd ever wanted unless the universe was just setting him up for an even crueler punchline, but he didn't care. He'd walk right into it even if he only got to have him for a minute.

It killed him the way he just melted for him, and that ferociously possessive side of himself that he hadn't known existed until about the last ten minutes liked it entirely too much. His hands slid to his back, gently encouraging that arch as his hips rolled against him. "How are you so sweet for me already?" He nipped softly at his bottom lip and soothed it with another kiss. "You're gonna have to stop me, baby."

--

Anything with Steve that was real was worth everything to him. It didn't matter how much or how little of it he actually got to have. It was all more than he deserved. Yes, he wanted everything and always, he always had when it came to him. But anything and only a little while were more than he ever thought he would get.

He would never ask him to tone down that possessiveness. He wanted to feel it, to give himself to it and to him in a way he'd never wanted or thought he'd want with anyone. A soft sound escaped him at that roll of hips and he shuddered as heat slid down his spine, his hands tightening in his hair. He wasn't prepared for the way his words filtered through his brain, the way he shifted under him and arched further with those warm hands on his skin. "I don't want you to stop," his voice was ragged and soft, that blazing need clear and wrapped in the haze he was putting his brain in.

--

There was a struggle going on in Steve's brain, and the better part of him was losing. It was the part that had been raised in a different century and knew Bucky deserved more than a hookup in a crappy motel room before he'd even had time to take him on a proper date against the part that had seen him ripped away from him too many times. He'd hesitated again and again to speak up or act on this, and it had cost them decades together. He couldn't stand to see that chance slip by them again.

Not with Bucky arching under him and sounding exactly the way Steve felt, like it might actually kill him to stop this now. His eyes traveled slowly down his body and back up, dark and hungry as they met soft gray. "Good. I didn't really want to." His voice was already going rough with need. He wrapped a hand around his thigh, encouraging him to wrap around him as he kissed him again. "What do you want?" he murmured against his lips.

--

There was no part of Bucky that was thinking of this as a hookup in a crappy hotel room. He didn't need, or even necessarily want, to be wined and dined to let them have this. Everything that mattered about who they were and where they came from, they'd lived through together. They knew each other at their best and at their worst, despite being ripped apart over and over. This, though, this was the one thing where they didn't know each other, and god he wanted to.

He wondered if it actually might kill him to have Steve stop and pull away from him. His gaze felt like a physical touch and he desperately wanted to actually feel him trace that same path with his hands. He had never, ever seen him look that way, like he could devour him and it sent a shiver of anticipation through him. It was easy to move with that touch, his legs shifting to wrap high on his waist and groaning softly at the way it pressed them together. The question made him roll his hips, slow and deliberate against him as he kissed him again, slow and deep, "You. Every way I can have you."

--

He knew it wasn't like that. Those were just surface details, irrelevant to the very real love they'd finally uncovered between them. Steve had never been great at the whole dating song and dance anyway. He didn't want to date Bucky. That was too mild a word for it. He wanted an entire life together and everything that included. He wanted to fold him into every aspect of his life until getting him out would be like ripping out his own heart.

His breath stuttered as he pressed against him, hands tightening on his thighs. He had every intention of devouring him now that he knew it was wanted. He moaned softly at the roll of his hips, a shudder running through him as he sank into that kiss. "You can have me," he murmured between kisses, his hands running along his sides again, thumbs brushing over his ribs as he pushed his shirt up. "Every way," he promised, tugging it gently over his head and tossing it aside.

--

Dating would never suit them, the word boyfriend paltry compared to what Steve actually was to him. He was the other half of his soul, his whole heart, his guiding light. Losing him would be the end of him, he knew, and it made him that much more determined to keep him, to keep this.

Every soft sound and stuttered breath made him want more, his hands sliding from his hair as his shirt was tugged off. “Thank god,” he murmured, his hands going immediately to Steve’s shirt to slide under and pull it off. He wanted to feel every bit of that soft skin under his hands and pressed against him.

--

There was something unreal about having Bucky's hands and lips on him, his legs wrapped around him. If Steve didn't know his imagination was never this kind to him, he wouldn't have believed it was happening. All his higher thinking could easily be swept away in how damn good he felt under him, and he didn't have a reason to try to stop it now.

He raised his hands to let him tug off his shirt, heedless of the scars on both of them. Bucky would always be the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. He was quick to press against him again, lips trailing over his jaw and down his neck. He nipped gently at the bend of his neck and shoulder, testing his reaction. He didn't know everything Bucky liked yet, but he would learn.

--

The reality was that Bucky's mind was incapable of being this kind to him. It only made it that much more heady, helped drive everything else away. He really didn't want to think clearly, not for a while, because he didn't want his brain to get in the way of what his heart so desperately wanted. His mind couldn't be trusted, but his heart was always safe with Steve, he knew that.

His fingers slid along all of that soft, warm skin as he tugged his shirt off. There was no one more gorgeous in the world to him, and the fact that he wasn't bothered by his scars didn't fail to make his heart flutter. His head tipped back, giving him more room as his hands slid over him, mapping out the strong curves of him. That soft press of teeth made his breath hitch and a soft whine escape him, a shiver running down his spine. He wanted to learn everything they both liked, to find where their wants, needs, and likes aligned.

--

He didn't want either of them thinking clearly for a while. Being able to drive Bucky out of that gorgeous but lethal brain of his was something Steve could happily put his attention to, as often as possible. He wanted to trace every inch of that bared skin, with his hands, with his mouth, and eventually with a pencil to paper, so beautiful he was worth every bit of his worship.

That was an encouraging sound, one he'd like to hear more of. "So good for me," he murmured. He ran his tongue gently over the spot and bit down again a little harder. He covered the expanse of his shoulders and chest with kisses and nips, teasing with tongue and teeth wherever he got the most reaction. He drifted lower, pressing his lips just above his bellybutton while his fingers curled gently beneath the band of his pants, the look he gave him a question.

--

Putting himself in Steve's hands, there was no one else that he would hand his control to. He hadn't thought it was possible for him to be driven out of his mind like he was already seeing the promise of, and he wanted it. He couldn't imagine holding himself back from Steve now, not after telling him exactly how he felt about him, knowing how he felt in return.

The soft praise made his hands tighten on his skin encouragingly. The next press of teeth made him absolutely boneless. He gave him every bit of reaction, unable to hold any of it back. He wanted him to know exactly what he was doing to him, how much he affected him. He shivered as heat slammed through him, those eyes looking up at him that way. "Please," the word was broken with need, arching up into him in encouragement.

***

It was a side of Bucky he'd never seen before, a line they'd never crossed. In all the times he'd wished he could help him or make him happy, it had never crossed his mind that this might be one of them or that it would be allowed. Setting his focus on getting him out of his head and making him feel as good as possible was easy. He'd never dared to imagine he could have this effect on him, and watching him go boneless and sweet for him sent a thrill of heat through him.

The smile he gave him was slow and dark, and he scraped his teeth gently over skin before he shifted to help him out of the rest of his clothes, fingers trailing over soft skin. He nibbled gently at each hip bone and settled between his legs, his gaze flicking up to his as he licked a slow, hot line up the length of him. Lips brushed over his head before he sank down on him fully, equally slowly. He had all night to take his time with him and damn if he didn't want to use it.

--

He had never thought that he would be able to have Steve like this, had never once let his mind seriously drift down this particular trail. He didn't think he could ever react like this for anyone else. It was the trust and the love he had in him that fueled every reaction. He knew he could be soft and needy, didn't even want to try and stop it. He reacted like breathing, not a single conscious thought to it.

Shivering under every brush of fingers, lips and teeth, he wanted to chase every bit of it. His breath hissed out at the press of teeth to his hipbones, his eyes locking on him as his throat went tight. That first line of heat sent him keening, his hands locking in the soft lengths of his hair as he watched him. He swore softly when that sweet heat wrapped around him and forced himself to stay still.

--

Soft and needy wasn't a way he'd ever allowed himself to imagine Bucky. He loved the way he reacted for him, the way he melted under his touch. Steve didn't think he could ever get enough of that, not after a lifetime of wanting him just like this, all sweet and responsive for him. He had every intention of giving him everything he asked for.

Steve didn't want him to hold back in any way. Every sound and movement out of him let him know exactly what he liked and needed, and he wanted all of them. He pulled off of him slowly, teasing with his tongue. "Move for me, baby," he encouraged, fingers digging gently into his hips as he pushed down on him again, taking him faster and deeper.

--

Bucky would give him any piece and part of him that he asked him for, and even the ones that he didn't. They'd held back from each other longer than they ever should have, but life and reality didn't allow for much else. Taking this, having this now, was absolutely everything and it was a little corner of heaven just for them.

That soft teasing made him whine softly before the words punched the breath right out of him. His fingers tightened in his hair when he sank back down on him, his hips rolling up gently. A strangled sound escaped him when he slid deep and he knew that he would never be the same. Watching Steve was a study in art, those beautiful, sinful lips wrapped around him and the way his cheeks flushed, his eyes more dark than he could ever remember seeing. He swore softly, Steve's name the only prayer he needed.

--

When it came to Bucky, he'd always wanted everything. He'd take everything he wanted to give him, and he'd give all of himself back in return. He couldn't imagine it being any other way for them. Bucky was everything. He was forever, no going back or holding back. Steve could easily settle into a life here with him and not care if they could never leave.

God, he was amazing like this. His mind was cataloging every little reaction, looking forward to the day he knew every single way to wreck him. The learning was fun though, and if they were this good already, he wasn't sure they'd survive knowing each other better. He groaned softly around him as his hips rolled to meet him, and he put all his attention on driving him out of his mind.

--

From the moment he'd first pressed his lips to Steve's skin, he knew there was no going back. All his life, he had known that if he was ever allowed to have him, then he wanted all of him for always. It was devastatingly true when faced with the reality of it now. He didn't care where he was or where he could and couldn't go, if it meant that Steve was right there with him.

They had always been good in everything they'd done together. It shouldn't have been so world-shattering to find that it applied in this too, yet here they were, Bucky melting under him. A ragged sound escaped him and he stopped trying to regain any of his control. It was impossible, and he let himself just sink into everything that Steve was offering. Soft, needy pleas in a broken voice of smoke wrapped up with his name was all he could say.

--

It had occurred to Steve that being stuck in one city with the love of his life was more like a blessing than a punishment, but he hadn't had time to fully think through the implications. They could probably have the closest thing to a normal life they would ever get here. For reasons he didn't understand, they weren't wanted or famous here, and there just wasn't a lot of heroing to be done in a single city. They could just live in a way their own world probably never would have let them do.

He loved the way he sounded and moved for him, and he could feel it the moment the last of his restraint slipped away. It was tempting to stay like this until he fell apart for him, but he didn't think it was what either of them wanted. He'd promised him every way. He pulled off of him slowly, gently widening the space between his thighs, his hands sliding under the perfect curves of his ass. The look was a question again, needing the confirmation despite what they'd said before. He never wanted to push him or do anything he didn't like.

--

It was strange to be somewhere he could just go to the market or just out for a walk and not have to worry overmuch about who saw him. At first, he'd gone to great pains to stay quiet and under the radar, much like he had before Steve had found him. He was still careful, but that was more out of habit than necessity. The idea that maybe he could walk down the street, holding hands with Steve and no one care? That they just might be able to build something like a life together? He couldn't really wrap his head around it.

He would give Steve anything he wanted from him, no matter how much of him he wanted now because he knew they had more than just tonight. When he moved him, he shivered and moved easily, making room for him. A soft, pleading sound escaped him, his hips shifting in encouragement. "Steve, please." He loved that he still wanted to check on him, but he needed him, desperately.

--

They'd had no reason to believe when they first got here that the world wasn't still hunting them. Steve had expected to be on the run for years, maybe forever. That wariness had been well-earned. But the less he heard about the Avengers in this city, the more curious he'd gotten, and he hadn't been prepared for what he'd find when he went to research them. It was like they didn't even exist here. Not in the news, not in history books.

That ragged, needy sound killed the last of his hesitation. He'd always ask him, but knowing Bucky needed him as badly as Steve did was reassuring. "I'm just getting started with you, sweetheart," he promised. He pressed a soft kiss against the inside of his thigh, resisting the urge to suck a mark there like a secret reminder that was just for them. There were better ways he wanted to leave this night on both of them. He tipped his head lower, mouth brushing gently over him and then with more intention. There was nothing rushed about it as he set to working him open with mouth and fingers, wanting to see him mindless and boneless for him.

--

Bucky still wasn't sure what to make of the seemingly second chance they were being handed. Sure it didn't get rid of all of the mess in his own head from his past, but the whole world didn't know about him anymore. This city, this one city, didn't hold a single thing against him because, for them, he hadn't done anything yet. Steve didn't have to be Captain America. He didn't have to live with the history of the Winter Soldier. They could just be Steve and Bucky, for the first time in a century.

He couldn't imagine making the choice to stop, not when he was finally getting what he had always wanted. He bit his lip lightly at the words, trying to keep himself from whimpering when that was all that wanted to escape. He would happily wear Steve's marks anywhere and everywhere, wanting every reminder he could have that this was real, that he was Steve's. He swore softly as his legs fell further apart, his mind whiting out from the sheer pleasure and need he was ratcheting higher.

--

Steve had given up being Captain America the moment he dropped the shield. It had been an easy choice to make. He hadn't even had to think about it. Bucky or the shield? It wasn't even a choice. He probably couldn't stop doing the hero thing completely, not if he was needed, but he'd felt lighter ever since he put it down. It was on his own terms now, and Steve couldn't feel anything but at peace with that.

Of all the times he'd wished he could get Bucky out of the nightmare that was his mind sometimes, he'd never imagined he could do it like this or that it would work so well. Steve's patience and focus could be intense, and right now the whole world had narrowed down to the pleasure of this, of seeing him mindless and needy for him as he worked to make him perfectly slick and open for him.

It was tempting to stay where he was and drive him slowly over the edge like this, and he wanted to, sometime. He wanted everything with him. He wanted to know what it was like to have Bucky fall apart under his tongue or buried deep in his throat or as close as they possibly could be. It was the last one that pulled his head up and had him shedding the last of his clothes so he could stretch out over him, all that warmth and muscle pressed to him. "God, you're so sweet," he murmured, lips brushing his jaw.

--

He didn't like that he had been the reason Steve had dropped the shield, but he couldn't say he wasn't glad that he had. He'd watched how it weighed on him, heavier all the time with no hope of getting lighter. Steve Rogers was always going to be a hero, someone who fought for people who couldn't do it for themselves, but it didn't have to be his whole life. Bucky wanted him to have more.

Being the subject of all of that intense focus, that relentless patience, he hadn't realized how world shattering it could be. Sparks of heat licked through him, incessant and growing as Steve worked him open. Anticipation only added to it, the need to feel Steve as close as he could have him. They had forever for everything they wanted, but that was what he wanted most right now.

The moment all of that bare, warm skin pressed against him, he groaned softly and shuddered, his legs wrapping around his impossibly small waist. His head tipped back lightly, his hips rolling up into him in demand. His hands slid into his hair as he brushed his lips along the line of his neck before nibbling gently at his ear. "Please, Steve," the soft plea was murmured against his ear, accompanied with another shift of his hips.

--

Bucky was the reason he'd picked up the shield in the first place. There was a kind of symmetry in being the reason he dropped it too. He was so tied up in Steve's sense of identity that he could never separate the two. All the times he knew exactly who he was, it had been because Bucky was there to help him see it. It was no different with this, one of the truest parts of himself coming to light because of him. He had no plans to hide that love away again, ever.

A shudder ran through him at those strong legs wrapping around him. He slid a hand into his hair, tipping his head gently to press lips and teeth to that inviting expanse of neck. He groaned softly at that roll of his hips. He could never ignore that sweet plea from him, and he shifted his hips to brush against him. His gaze locked on Bucky's as he slowly began to work himself in.

--

A century of love in all the ways it came had a habit of twining people tightly together. Steve was all the best parts of him, and had been for so very long. They safeguarded each other, those most true things always safe with each other and always had been even if they hadn't let themselves know it. He never wanted to unravel the fabric of his life from Steve's, he only wanted to merge them further.

A soft sound escaped him, pleasure and need and encouragement, when Steve took advantage of the offered space. His breath hitched when he brushed against him and he let out a slow breath, relaxing under him. He was fighting to keep his hips still, wanting to roll and push down on him, wanting all of him.

--

He'd never really been able to let go of Bucky, even when he knew he should. Now, he had no plans to ever be far from him again. They had a life to figure out together, here in London or wherever the universe decided to take them next, and he wanted it as fiercely as he’d ever wanted anything. Hesitation had cost him so much time with him. Steve wasn’t letting this slip by him again.

"Look at you, being so sweet," he murmured, hands tightening on his hips as he caught him in a lingering kiss. He really wanted to do this right with Bucky, to at least start carefully so he wouldn’t hurt him, but he could feel exactly what it was costing both of them. "Almost there, baby." He nibbled softly at his bottom lip, all of that tight heat wrapped around him threatening to drive him out of his mind. He gave the smallest roll of his hips when he bottomed out, letting them both adjust but unable to be fully still when all he wanted was to move.

--

He would never get over the fact that Steve had chosen him, time and time again, even when he should have long given up on him. Now that he had him, that their truth was in the open, he wasn't going to let him go without a fight. He'd fight the universe itself to stay by his side, let alone anything or anyone else.

The words sent heat and haze through his brain, making him want to hear him like that all the time. Sweet wasn't something he thought of himself as, but he wanted to be for Steve, especially in this if it got that voice out of him. He already felt impossibly full, his hands tightening in his hair at the roll of his hips once he was buried entirely in him. He shifted his hips, his knees sliding higher as he rolled up into him, his breath catching. Tightening around him, he groaned softly and rolled his hips again in demand, his name a ragged plea.

--

Loving Bucky was the only constant he'd had for a hundred years. Together or apart, alive or dead, no matter what else had changed in the world or in himself, he loved Bucky Barnes. Steve could no sooner walk away from him than he could rip his own heart out of his chest. It would be the same thing. He’d never dreamed that love would be wanted, even returned, and he wasn’t letting it go now.

He liked watching that beautiful mind of his go fuzzy because of him. He wasn’t sure if it was his voice or the praise or the combination, but he was willing to test every theory to find out. He groaned softly as he tightened around him, answering that roll of his hips with one of his own. "Best damn thing for me," he murmured, sinking into a kiss. He kept his strokes slow and deep and kissed him the same way, wanting to feel every bit of him for as long as possible.

--

It was the one real constant of the world: James Buchanan Barnes loved Steve Rogers. Apparently, it was true in reverse as well and had been just as long. Walking away from him had never been a real option, even when he'd tried to keep him safe. It hadn't stopped him from drifting to places full of him at every chance.

He wasn't sure he could survive Steve figuring out everything that made his mind go hazy. He definitely wanted him to learn, though. There was no stopping his reaction at him being buried deep and that roll that made him shudder under him. He pressed into that kiss, his hips shifting to meet every stroke of his and thought he was going to be beyond wrecked by the end of this. He looked forward to it. One hand slid from his hair, his nails scraping down the back of his neck and over his back gently.

--

Steve had always been a quick learner, and he had more than enough motive to learn this. Everything that Bucky wanted and needed, every way he could take him out of his brain and make him his, every touch and word and kiss binding them closer until it would be impossible to untangle Bucky from him. There was nothing small about that want. It could easily be his whole world, and he thought he might want to let it.

He felt like absolute heaven under him, and his own mind threatened to go hazy on him. It wouldn’t be the worst thing, but he wanted Bucky absolutely out of his mind before he let go like that. A shiver ran through him at the light scrape of nails, and he nibbled softly at his bottom lip. His hands slid to his hips, shifting the angle just a little so he could slide that much deeper, his strokes coming a little harder.

--

Being tangled and wrapped in Steve in every way possible was something he had never been able to consider being. He had always had to consider holding something back. Now that he didn't have to, that he was welcome and wanted and loved, he wanted Steve to be tangled so much with him through every single kiss, touch, long night wrapped around one another.

He knew that it was only a matter of time before what little control he had left of himself was gone. Steve felt like absolute heaven, every stroke of him driving deep and stoking that fire of need. A ragged soft cry escaped him when he shifted him, his body tightening around him. He arched further, feeling him slide deep and his nails dug further. Needy, broken sounds of encouragement were all he had left.

--

It was a new thing for them, all cards on the table. If they were this good in bed, thinking about them in other aspects of their lives could make him downright weak. Steve was a romantic, deep down. A one partner for the rest of his life kind of man, and he wanted everything with him. They wouldn't just be picking out a place to live now. They’d be choosing a home, one they could build together.

He groaned roughly at the way he tightened around him, his hands tightening to hold him in that perfect arch. "So beautiful for me like this, Buck." He loved seeing him like this, wordless and mindless with need, even with his own control rapidly unraveling. His strokes came hard and deep, his vision blurring as he bottomed out hard.

--

They had always been good together, every way that they'd been able to be: on a schoolyard, on a battlefield, in a planning room. It absolutely wrecked him that it translated to bed too, that they could only get better with time and learning each other's bodies as well as they knew each others' minds. Processing forever with Steve was something that would take time because it was never going to fail to astound him.

He wanted to hear him like that as often as he could, the little licks of heat that it set off from knowing that he was good for Steve too. He was glad that Steve didn't want him thinking or coherent, because he was sure it was impossible and he wanted him to be right there with him. His hands tightened when he bottomed out and he groaned roughly. "More," the demand was soft and ragged and wanting, needing to feel him just as gone and knowing they both needed it.

--

It would always be Steve’s instinct to give Bucky everything he wanted, and his voice like that had an almost visceral reaction on him. There had been no reason to think about it before today, that Bucky was as strong and as hard to hurt as he was, that they wouldn’t have to be so careful with each other, that maybe he didn't have to keep all of that tightly wound control with him.

He couldn’t help the slight hesitation, the part of him that wanted to give him everything warring with the part that would always protect him. It was really a question of whether he trusted Bucky to know what he wanted and what he could take, and that wasn’t a question. He trusted him with everything. "Okay," he murmured, hands bracketing his hips as he caught him in another hungry kiss, hips grinding deep before he pulled back, his strokes coming hard and deep as he set to giving them both exactly what they wanted.

--

There was no reason for them to treat one another like they were breakable or fragile. They could simply be with each other, without fear or worry for each other. It was something that they wouldn't have been able to have if they'd lived out their lives in Brooklyn in the 40s. He wanted them to just be able to give in to one another, to the heat and the need they both had.

He felt that hesitation and it made a soft, pleading sound escape him. He trusted Steve to believe him, to want him enough, and knew that he was right to.  He clung to him, his nails digging slightly as he pressed into that kiss, matching him with hunger of his own until it felt like they were drowning in it. A ragged cry of approval against his lips was all he recognized as Steve set to absolutely giving him what he needed. He met every stroke, arching to take him as deep as he could slide, encouraging him with every sound from his lips and rock of his body. He could feel all of that heat coiling tighter and his knees shifted higher so every deep stroke had him absolutely seeing stars.

--

Wanting him wasn’t ever the problem. He could drown in wanting him and thought he wouldn't mind. In his way, Bucky was telling him that it was safe to, and Steve trusted his judgment even if he didn’t entirely trust himself. He’d never been with anyone he didn’t have to be careful with, and that instinct to protect was a hard one to break. He thought he could do both though, protect him and give him what he asked for. He was sure he could. He would always keep him safe.

That need from him made his own rise, impossible to contain with the heat of him pressed close and wrapped around him. "God, you're perfect," he growled, nipping sharply at his lip before kissing him again, rough and hungry. He pressed a hand against the back of his knee, pinning it there as he fucked deep into him, the last threads of self-control snapping as he chased the edge for both of them.

--

He knew that Steve could protect him without being careful. He knew that they could just have all of the heat and hunger without worrying about what could happen. He knew because trusting Steve Rogers was like breathing for him.

The last thing that he wanted was for Steve to contain his need, to hold back on the desperate desire that Bucky had freely handed over. The praise had him groaning softly, pressing into that kiss with his own desperate hunger. He couldn't think anymore, couldn't breathe for the heat and need. His body tightened around him, heat flooding him as he felt that edge get closer.

--

They'd held back for almost a century. It wasn’t something he ever wanted to do again. He’d always wanted to give all of himself to Bucky, and it had never been his place, even if the world would have let him. Being here was an opportunity to do things differently. If that meant loosening his grip on some of that rigid self-control, then that probably wasn't the worst thing for him.

He growled praise and encouragement against his lips, addicted to the way he moved and melted for him. Heat pooled at the base of his spine, matching every point of contact and the tight heat of Bucky wrapped around him. The only thread holding him together was the need to see how beautifully he fell apart for him.

--

Bucky would have fought anything, including the world itself, if he had ever had the knowledge that Steve could have been his so completely, or he be Steve's. He'd always kept his need for him as controlled as he had been able to. There had been times he thought he'd failed massively, only to be surprised. Disbelief made it easy to brush things off, as they both officially knew. Nothing had to be that way now.

He had never known that anyone could make him shiver with praise, or so easily melt under them. It was Steve. It had always been Steve. Everything tightened as he crashed over that sharp edge, a ragged cry turned rough moan with wanting to feel him join him.

--

There had been moments he’d wanted to believe Bucky felt the same for him, but he’d always convinced himself it was just wishful thinking. He wanted him too much to trust his own interpretation. Steve never wanted to give him another reason to doubt his feelings. He’d gladly spend the rest of his life making sure he knew how loved he was.

He gave a rough groan as he tightened around him, fucking him hard through his climax before he let the last of his control slip and followed him. His hands slid softly over heated skin as their bodies quaked and slowed, and he kissed him slow and deep, his mind gone sweet and fuzzy.

--

It had been easier to brush off those moments for the sake of keeping their friendship, of keeping his heart from being shattered. Risks had become a calculated thing for him a long time ago and Steve was never an acceptable loss. Now, he just wanted to spend his time showing Steve just how loved and wanted he was by him. It felt like the perfect thing to do.

Stars exploded behind his eyes as Steve fucked him hard through his climax and he felt like pure heat. Feeling him join him made him shiver and melt. His hands slid soothingly over his skin as he kissed him back. There was no active thought, just soft haze and blissful quiet that was rare for his mind.

--

Feeling Bucky blissed out and boneless under him was the best thing. Getting either of those clever tactical brains to quiet was no simple thing, and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so perfectly at ease. Knowing they could give that to each other felt like the first peace he’d had in decades.

"Perfect," he murmured, brushing kisses over soft skin, not willing to move or think just yet. He felt like heaven under him. This was Steve’s version of heaven, finally getting to be with the person he loved most, knowing they planned to build a life together.

--

He couldn't remember being so relaxed, comfortable, and safe, not ever. He had gotten so used to the snowstorm of his mind, the heavy burden of guilt he carried after, that he didn't recognize himself. Steve was peace, love, comfort, and home, all wrapped in a delicious package that he wanted to stay wrapped around.

It figured Toni Stark would have a party her first night on a new Earth, but Rhodey knew better than to think that was all it was. This was a recon mission as much as anything, a chance to feel out the Avengers here and get a read on whether they'd trust them at their backs or not. He didn't take it for granted that just because these people looked like their friends, it meant that they were. Missing their team hadn't really had time to hit him yet, but he was sure it would catch up eventually, and it wasn't going to be fun when it did.

He had a glimmer of what that would feel like when he caught sight of Bucky across the room. Back home, James Barnes was one of his closest friends, and they were allies in keeping Toni and Steve from getting in too far over their heads. He could tell Barnes was doing what Rhodey was doing, which was keeping a sharp eye on their conversation in case it got ugly, so there was no reason they couldn't do it together. He grabbed a couple of beers and headed his way, offering one with a smile. "Hey. James Rhodes. Don't know if we've met on your Earth."

-- Since they had found one another again, Bucky had known what was going on in the Avengers chat without even being in it. He'd seen the moment the name Stark had appeared in that chat, been surprised when it had been a far cry from their Earth's Stark. He was familiar with the ploy of the loud personality masking the calculating quick mind that people routinely underestimated. When Steve had suggested they actually go, he'd agreed out of curiosity. It was important to know just how this would all play out, unwilling to leave anything to chance when it came to Steve. Tony of their Earth had never taken well to him, and he knew what it had cost Steve. He didn't want him to go through it twice.

Staying quietly in the corner, he couldn't help but watch Toni and Steve carefully, intently. His heart had ached at the flash on her face, recognizing at least a little of it from the mirror, knowing what it looked like when you loved Steve Rogers and couldn't have him. His attention was taken away when Rhodes walked over carrying a few beers. That was one person he had never expected to smile at him... ever. "We did, actually," he said carefully, the care behind it and how tentatively he took the offered beer showing that it hadn't gone well at all.

--

Rhodey wouldn't lie. It had broken his heart a little to realize the Steve Rogers on this Earth wasn't his babygirl's Steve Rogers. It was a cruel twist of fate to have him here, but not really him, at least not as they knew him. She'd lost so much. It had taken so long for her to trust again, to find something that good, and Rhodey hated to see her lose it all over again. On their Earth, Toni and Steve were endgame. He had no doubt about that. What he doubted was that she could open herself up to a different version, even if he happened to be free. She was putting on a good face, but he could see the cracks, if only because he knew they were there.

It wasn't hard to read the wariness in Bucky's expression, in his whole body, and he pressed his lips together with a nod. "Thought it might be like that." There had been a time Rhodey thought James Barnes was going to tear their team in half, and from the looks of things, it had pretty much gone that way on his Earth. He met his gaze directly, never one to bullshit. He didn't expect this Bucky to be his friend, but he'd just as soon clear the air between them. "I don't know what happened on your Earth, but on mine? I've got no bad blood with you, and neither does Toni. James Barnes is my friend, and a good man. One of the best."

-- Bucky took a sip of the offered beer, lifting it to Rhodey slightly, "Thanks, for this." The words were quiet, measured, careful in the way he had gotten used to being around any Avenger but Steve. The easy understanding of this Rhodes was a far cry from what he was used to, and he couldn't help but want to trust it. He had to clamp down hard on that wish, though, because he was so very tired of things going wrong because of him.

Meeting his gaze was hard, but he did it, seeing nothing there but clear honesty that surprised him. "I never wanted bad blood on my Earth," he admitted, "I told Steve I wasn't worth it all and the damn idiot decided I was." He shifted where he sat, making room on the couch where he'd placed himself firmly in the middle during his original positioning. "I think if there was a problem, that wouldn't be as calm on the surface as it is," he mused, tipping his head to Steve and Toni. He could see the roiling emotions in Steve, the soft ache there. "Friends, huh? How did that happen? How does she," he tipped his beer at Toni, "not hate your Barnes like Tony hated me?"

--

He nodded at the thanks. The way he said it was more telling than the words themselves, and it made his heart sink for this Bucky and the Avengers of their Earth. He didn't have to try hard to imagine what had put that wary distrust on his face. He looked like a dog that expected to be kicked at any moment and wasn't quite sure he didn't deserve it, and it stoked a slightly irrational anger at Other Tony and Other Rhodes. What the fuck had they done?

"I know you didn't," he said, more gently. "What the Soldier did? That wasn't your fault. In my experience, you can usually trust Steve Rogers to be right about that kind of thing." He wasn't surprised at where their Steve had chosen to stand his ground, but he was sorry to hear what it had cost all of them. "With those two? Nah. Shit would be flyin' already." He took the offered seat with a soft chuckle, sipping his beer. He was watching because he was protective of Toni, but if she actually needed his help, he doubted there would be anything subtle about it.

"She did, at first." That wasn't a meltdown Rhodey would ever like to revisit, and he got it. She had a right to those feelings, but he was proud that she didn't let them rule her. "But they love each other, on my Earth. They don't keep secrets. When Steve found the file, he came to her first, and she had time to get it out of her system before you were there. She feels a lot, but she's not unreasonable. She knows none of it was your choice. Our Barnes, he's part of our team."

-- That gentleness was definitely not what he was used to, especially out of anyone close to Stark. He didn't know whether to feel soothed or more wary by it. The words helped put it more in the category of the former, but he couldn't help a little of the latter, especially for Steve's sake. "It was still me, so no one can let that go," he said quietly, his eyes on the pair across the room. "Don't tell him that. His ego might swell and make his head explode." The teasing mutter was quiet, but a sign that he wasn't going to run. "Yeah, they're not exactly the most level headed people. Steve and Stark, I mean."

The knowledge that she loved Steve on her Earth and he loved her in return wasn't really surprising. Spitfire and strong, smart as hell and sexy as sin? Yeah, not hard to believe at all. "He should have done that with his Tony," he said firmly, having believed that from the beginning. "I'm sorry that he's not her Steve," he said quietly, finally looking at Rhodey, "I don't want anyone to ever look that gut-punched over losing Steve. I know how that feels." Intimately. Horribly. If he were a better man, he'd walk away from his, but he already knew that wasn't an option he could take. It wasn't fair to any of them. "Sounds like everything was smoother on your Earth with this group," he gestured to the various Avengers that weren't really spending time together but were lingering in the same space in their separate small groups and pairings.

--

"Man, I know you gotta live with that, and I can't even imagine. But we can and did let it go. If your team is still holding on to that shit, it sounds like a Them Problem." He shook his head, not troubling himself to keep the critical tone out of his voice. He'd been around them for an hour or two, and he could already tell their team was a goddamn mess, a team in name only. He'd seen enough from his own Avengers, and hell, from his recruits, to know how people functioned when they worked together. This wasn't it.

"Can you imagine them together? My Barnes and I had no choice but to become allies. Trying to keep the Reckless Stupid to a minimum," he chuckled. They failed a lot of times, but he liked to think they were a calming balance to that relationship. Until one of *their* tempers got tripped, and things went nuclear. "Yeah, me too. She finally got something good, just to lose it here," he sighed softly. It was more emotion than Bucky had shown him so far, and it wasn't hard to read it on him, on them. "I'm happy for you though. Makes sense, you two. I always kind of wondered, on my Earth. My Barnes had Romanoff though."

His gaze slid to the other Natasha across the room. He was very much sensing that was Not A Thing here. She did not in any sense give off an approachable vibe, not that the Black Widow ever really did. Rhodey considered her a friend though, and an ally. She was good for Bucky. "Yeah. No offense, but you guys are a mess. Our team is our family. I don't know if there's any other way with Toni." These Avengers seemed to barely tolerate each other. He was waiting for someone to start throwing shit, and Steve and Toni were honestly the least of his worries in that department.

-- Bucky shrugged carefully, watching Rhodes's face and couldn't see a bit of a lie there, anything to say that he didn't mean everything he was saying. "Their Tony couldn't get past it being my face that killed his parents, and it just... they never recovered," he gestured to the space filled with Avengers. It didn't help that everything felt like it happened in terrible rapid succession, his own going into cryo and dealing with the trigger words not helping that.

"Frighteningly easily," he mused, his lips twitching at the corners as his attention was pulled back to the pair at the bar. "There's a metric fuckton of Reckless Stupid between them," he chuckled, but he also knew that they wanted to protect more than anything else. "I wish it were different, for her sake," he tipped his head, too familiar with her heartache to be comfortable. He huffed a soft laugh, "I think if he never found out I was still alive, that's exactly what would have happened. But Romanoff and I aren't like that and wouldn't be, I don't think." He gaze slid to her and she had that look of hunting on her face and he really didn't want to know who she intended to eat.

"Hey, I'm not an Avenger, Rhodes," he shrugged, lifting his hands with a little laugh, "Never have been." It was harder for Steve than it ever would be for him, and he was used to Romanoff coming and going in his life. His attention went back to Toni and he raised an eyebrow. "She's the team builder? Interesting."

--

He nodded grimly, having no trouble picturing how it went down. If their Tony came at Bucky, Steve would push back twice as hard, and that was the end of the team. It couldn't survive with two of their core members at odds like that, and of course it wouldn't stop with two. "I love my Stark with all my heart. But your Tony was wrong. There's a bigger picture there than just two people. It doesn't mean he deserved to die, but it's not like Howard Stark was an innocent party." A hint of venom crept into his tone. Rhodey was one of few who knew what the man had really been like on their Earth. He didn't mourn the loss for a second and didn't think Toni did either.

"Oh yeah. If they decide to become allies here, we're in for it," he chuckled. Then again, given the alternative he was seeing in front of them, allies seemed like the better option. He wasn't sure Toni could ever really resist caring for Steve Rogers. She had a long history of loving him even before he came out of the ice. "Rhodey's fine. Toni and her nicknames kinda stick." He grinned, shaking his head. He was more than a decade past trying to stop that one. He was Colonel Rhodes at work, War Machine in the sky, but otherwise he was just Rhodey.

He studied Toni quietly for a moment, and then he studied Barnes. He wanted to be able to trust this man who looked like his friend, and he also wanted their best shot at making a functional team here. Whatever had brought them to this world, it was probably going to need them. "It's more than that. She's got a big brain, everyone can see that. But she's got a bigger heart. Once Toni decides to keep someone, she's all in. They're family, and she'll go to war for her family. Besides, she's not going to be able to resist trying to fix this train wreck." He cracked a smile, knowing he wouldn't be able to leave it alone either. The draw of people who looked like their friends and obviously needed their help wasn't something they could ignore.

--

Bucky knew that he'd never be able to forget that fight. He'd been desperate to try and stop it all, to try and keep it from coming to that at all. He'd told Steve repeatedly that he wasn't worth it, but very little in the world could change the mind of Steve Rogers once he'd made it up and decided to stick to his decision. "Anger has a way of making people blind," he shrugged, knowing he couldn't say anything against it. It was a human reaction. "I think for our Tony, it didn't matter a lick about his father... it was his mother being labeled collateral damage in it," the words were quiet, a little pained, haunted always by the faces and the seemingly endless list of names.

"Rather the ride of my life than a fight for it," he admitted, wondering what it would be like to be in a world where Steve and Stark got along that well. It didn't matter what last name she had, Toni wasn't Tony and he knew Steve wouldn't hold her to anything that had come before her. She was a different person and he was going to treat her that way. It's just who the man he loved was. "Rhodey," he agreed, studying his face for a moment, "You can call me Bucky." It was an easy decision to make, and a way of putting the past where it belonged and moving into the new chance he'd been given. "His nicknames stick too," he chuckled as he tipped his head at Steve.

He didn't mind being studied, knew there was good reason for it, and let his attention stay on Rhodey rather than drifting to the pair they were both quasi keeping an eye on. "She's gonna have a lot of work on her hands, if she really does decide to take it on. Banner and Thor weren't there for the fight that pulled everyone apart, Romanoff switched sides," he snorted softly because he was sure that was no surprise to anyone on any Earth, "It was bad Rhodey."

--

"It does. But it's also an excuse to make bad choices and not take responsibility for them." Everyone had a temper. It didn't mean they should act on it, and he couldn't excuse a Tony Stark who victim-blamed to that degree. He'd have stood by Toni no matter what she decided to do, but he'd have also been there trying to keep her from going too far. That had always been his role. Keep her ass out of the fire whenever possible, even when she created the fire herself (which, to be fair, she didn't usually). "He's got a right to how he feels about it. But she wasn't innocent either." If it had been his Barnes, he'd have reached out, offered some sort of reassurance, but he wasn't sure this one would take any sort of physical comfort from him. Maybe in time.

"Very true. I'll take the peace where we can get it," he agreed. He had a feeling there wasn't going to be much of that here. He smiled, glad to be on slightly easier ground. It was a step in the right direction, and that wasn't bad progress for one conversation. "Nice to officially meet you, Bucky." He listened while he described the fight. He was getting a clearer picture of it all the time, and it was interesting in the way car wrecks were interesting. He'd also like to keep it from happening here, if that was at all possible.

"Of course she did. Did you lose anyone?" There was a brief pause before the question. He had to assume Steve and Bucky won or he wouldn't be sitting here, but if there had been losses, that meant more bad blood. He'd like to know who to watch out for, who might still be holding a grudge, and at the moment, he'd take Steve and Bucky's word over the others'. He'd verify it with his and Toni's own observations over time, but if they had to choose someone to trust, Captain America wasn't a bad place to start.

--

"There were a lot of bad choices made then," he sighed heavily, because that was the most honest truth. There were a lot of bad choices on all sides, a lot of things that should have been handled differently. He could have made sure that Stark knew his history once they all started getting tangled together. Stark could have actually listened instead of reacting like he did. Steve could have not kept secrets. Vision could have gone against Stark when they suggested putting Maximoff in the equivalent of lockdown. Natasha could have stayed out of it instead of switching sides. Anything could have made a difference, and none of it mattered now.

"Peace sounds so nice," he sighed out, the permanent battle fatigue clear in his voice. He couldn't stop though, not right now, not yet. "You too," he agreed with a little smile of his own. They didn't come often, were more frequent now but still something to be worked on. He didn't think anyone who had survived everything they all had would be keen to revisit any of the last years, so another Civil War was from a possibility in his mind. More likely was the Avengers simply staying completely apart, if anyone asked him.

The question made him swallow and look down at his hands between his knees, rolling the bottle between them. "No, but," he paused and sighed, "Rhodes, Stark's Rhodes... he caught a blast mid-fight and took major spinal damage. Wouldn't have walked again if it wasn't for his Stark." He knew that Sam had carried that weight something serious, that Tony had held him responsible for it no matter that Sam had tried to help, to check on him. "Natasha, she was on Stark's side at first, but she helped Steve and I get free, get away from the fight so he could hide me and I know that hurt him."

--

All of these Avengers had battle fatigue all over them, and Rhodey was betting that the Civil War had only been the start of it for them. Whatever they'd had to face next, they hadn't been a cohesive team for it, and it showed. It was also putting one of the grimmest looks he'd ever seen on Toni's face. Whatever Steve was telling her, she hated him a little for it, and he let out a slow, quiet whistle. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what their team might be fighting without them, but he hoped she wouldn't shoulder that alone.

That reaction said a lot right there. Not only was it bad, it was something he didn't want to say to him, and Rhodey had a sinking feeling he knew where this was going. "Ah shit, man. I'm sorry to hear that." It was always a risk of what he did, and he accepted that. He assumed the other Earth's Rhodes had too, but it did more to explain why the rift between Steve and Tony hadn't healed. Toni would never forgive something like that. He was her weak spot as much as Bucky was Steve's, and they all knew it. "It shouldn't, if he knew anything about your history with her. Then again, Toni's had issues with our Romanoff since she labeled her unfit to join S.H.I.E.L.D." He smirked softly.

--

He didn't know if this group would ever shake off what they'd been through. The reality was that it was impossible. They could move forward, hitch up their bootstraps, tighten their armor and try their hands at life, but it wasn't going to be easy. He knew that Steve was warning her, doing what he could to prevent what they'd all gone through happening to them if he could. He wasn't sure how smart it was, but he could understand it. The look on Stark's face was terrifying familiar, pained, grim, angry acceptance and resignation.

He sighed softly, "I hated every moment of it. And I hate that, just when Stark was willing to listen..." He shook his head, "Well, there was no coming back from that." The knowledge that Stark had problems with Romanoff on both Earths just made him chuckle and shake his head lightly. "I guess Natasha never gets it right where Stark's concerned until it's too late." He wondered how much could be different, how much trust there could have been, if that alone had started differently.

--

"Shit. Do I want to know what else happened to you guys?" It was only halfway rhetorical. He hoped that Toni would tell him whatever it was and he wouldn't have to get it from Steve or Bucky. It had been a shock to see the Captain looking like that. Rhodey couldn't swear he'd aged a day, but he looked older, wearier, like the weight of the world he'd always shouldered had finally started to crush him. It wasn't a look he'd ever wanted to see on Steve Rogers.

"Sounds like it was necessary though. If it came to a fight, Stark wasn't backing down. What's the alternative? Let him kill you? Not happening, man." He shook his head. Evening knowing he would have sided with Toni, whatever she decided, Rhodey wouldn't stand by and watch that. It didn't matter if Bucky was innocent or not, his friend or not. He wouldn't let her do that to herself. He wouldn't make her live with that.

--

He sighed softly, shaking his head at the question. "No, you really don't. Everything that came after was even worse," he admitted softly. Sure, that had fractured the Avengers to a nearly irreparable point, and they'd never fully recovered from any of it, he knew. He tipped his head where Steve and Toni were, his heart aching as he watched her face. "Looks like Steve is telling her, which doesn't surprise me. He wishes a lot of things could have been done differently. She... you both... have that chance."

A dry, self-deprecating huff of laughter escaped him at that and he shook his head slowly. "We all took a lot from each other that day," he murmured. Sure, his taking had been done decades prior via Hydra, but it didn't change that it had come to light that day. He hated what Steve and Tony had resorted to, the sheer desperation of that fight.

--

"I'm sorry." He reached out, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze, the apology genuine for everything he'd had to go through. It didn't matter that this wasn't his Bucky. These people were some version of his friends, and Rhodey never wanted to see his friends suffering. "Then we'll take it, whatever chance you can give us." The words were firm, no hesitation. Rhodey would hear whatever horror stories he had to hear if it helped them keep their world safe, assuming they ever got back to it.

"Sounds more like you were caught in the crossfire." He shook his head. Bucky had been a victim in the whole situation, and he'd stand by that. It was understood on their Earth, and anyone who tried to paint him as a villain would find themselves on the wrong end of a Stark/Rogers beatdown. The two were formidable when they were on the same team. He had no trouble believing they'd started a war on opposite sides.

--

The soft squeeze had him relaxing under his hand and shooting him a soft, grateful look of appreciation. He was still getting used to people who weren't Steve touching him in any way that wasn't a fight, if he was being honest. It was easier with this Rhodey that wasn't Rhodey from their Earth, because they were two different people. "I just hope it helps," he admitted softly. He'd hate for anyone to hear it and it do absolutely nothing to help them.

His lips twitched into a small smile and he couldn't stop the quiet huff of laughter that escaped him. "You and Steve will get along great," he murmured, considering how staunchly on his side that his partner tended to be. "I keep waiting," he admitted quietly, "for it all to follow me here too."

--

Rhodey hoped it would help too, whatever it turned out to be. He knew that as much as Toni's face hated hearing this, she'd rather know than not know so they could plan. Better to face a threat head on, knowing what was coming, than to let it take them by surprise. "We usually do," he agreed with a small answering smile. It wasn't often he and Rogers had cause to disagree on their Earth. Rhodey had a lot of respect for their Captain. He could see it going the same way with this one.

He raised an eyebrow, not enjoying that hurt that lingered on him like a dog that had been kicked too many times. If this Avengers team was resposible for that, maybe he was wrong and they wouldn't get along so well. "You've got at least three people in this room who won't let that happen." He could see why that wouldn't be reassuring, but he knew Toni and this Steve would be united on that much at least. He didn't even know what the problems of this Earth were yet, but he knew Bucky Barnes was the least of them.

--

That small agreement, the smile, made him relax and smile softly at him. "Not hard for me to believe," he agreed easily. There was something about this particular James Rhodes, and even the one from his earth, that he could see getting on well with Steve. Loyalty and steadfastness ran deep in both of them, that was easy to see.

He wasn't sure he could ever shake all of the hurt when it came to his earth's Avengers, he wasn't sure that he deserved to. The idea that Steve and Rhodey's Toni would work together for whatever came for their earth was novel, but he could see how it would work, judging by their faces from where he could see. "Even Earth's mightiest heroes can't stop everything, Rhodey," he said quietly.

--

Rhodey would have been surprised if Bucky could get past that world of shit with his own Avengers. He wasn't sure that was a thing he'd have been able to forgive either, and it would certainly make him hesitant to trust some of the ones here, especially if their Tony Stark ever showed up. He never thought he'd stand on the opposite side of a Stark, but he knew for damn sure he wouldn't stand by and let them victimize Bucky anymore.

What he wanted, at least for as long as they were here, was a chance to do things better with him. It seemed like they'd made decent progress with that already, and he was satisfied with getting that far in just one night. It was a start. "Lucky for us, we've got two Earths worth of mightiest heroes now." He grinned, clapping him on the shoulder before he stood up. Steve and Toni were going their separate ways, and he had a strong need to check in on her.

"It was nice meeting you, Bucky. Weird, but nice. Hope I'll be seeing you around." He nodded a goodbye, meaning it. It looked like he and Toni both had already started to choose their allies while they were on this Earth, and  he liked their choices so far. They'd definitely played worse odds.

--

He wondered if maybe, just maybe, this new Earth would allow for him to have something he didn't feel possible before: a real chance. Judging from this conversation, from what he was starting with Steve, it just might be. "You know, that might just be something worth seeing," he mused with a small smile.

Go, before I kiss you. Steve had never had a harder time walking out a door when all he wanted to do was stay and kiss him senseless. The whole encounter reeled through his head as he walked away and for the rest of the night. Trying to explain it to Ian didn't make it feel any more real. Steve didn't have words to explain why this mattered so much already. He always had dinner with his brother. Since he was breaking that tradition tomorrow, he promised to find him afterward and tell him about it. The promise would keep him honest and from doing anything reckless, like going home with Bucky. He didn't trust himself not to without it.

It was probably lucky that Victorian Lit was on alternate days. Steve didn't think he would have heard a word of the lecture with Bucky sitting right there. He had a hard enough time paying attention to his classes as it was. His mind wanted to replay every moment from the time he'd walked through the door. The expression on his face when he left lingered in his memory, like he was trying to memorize him. Did he think Steve would change his mind? Barring a crisis, there was no chance of that happening. Practice at least passed quickly and didn't give him a lot of time to think, and he showered at lightning speed, hair still damp as he threw on his jeans and a white henley and headed outside. A glance at his phone told him he was early, which was slightly disappointing but not surprising.

--

It didn't make any sense to him for it to be so hard to let Steve walk away from him. He didn't get hung up on people, and he certainly didn't get attached so quickly. He'd gone home after the gym and relaxed, slept when the headache had hit full force. He'd sent Nat a text with a quick thanks and a promise for information in a few days, mostly because he wanted to be able to purely focus on Steve for the next day or so, probably longer if he was being honest with himself.

He got a few new bruises in his lab, distraction making him not pay quite as much attention as normal. He was alright with it, though since it was a shorter day of class for him. He made sure lab days were, so if he wanted to put in the extra time he could, or he could have it for himself. Getting ready was a quick change into black jeans and a grey t-shirt, slipping into his boots. Looking at his keys, he smiled slowly before grabbing his preferred set, he couldn't help but go even knowing he would be even earlier than he said he would be.

Pulling up in front of the locker room, he smiled at the sight of Steve already outside. Bucky pulled off his helmet and ran his fingers through his hair as he leaned on his handlebars. "Glad to know I wasn't the only one a little bit impatient," he teased gently before dropping the kickstand and hanging his helmet on the grip and getting off. "How do you feel about a fun ride to dinner?" He stopped to stand right in front of him, his eyes drifting over him and smiling slowly.

--

Of course Bucky Barnes drove a motorcycle. It went perfectly with that trouble vibe he had going, and damn if he didn't look great on it. Steve knew he was staring and didn't care, but he'd also noted he wasn't the only one. Apparently, they both knew how to make an entrance. "A little bit is being generous," he admitted, biting his lip on a smile as he headed toward him. Some small tension in his chest had eased at seeing him again. Steve hadn't really thought he wouldn't show, but there was always a possibility.

It was hard not to reach out and touch him when he stopped in front of him, like he needed to verify he was real. He didn't, but still, he doubted it would be the last time he had to force his hands to stay by his sides over the course of the night. A warm laugh slipped out at the question, all the other possible interpretations of 'fun ride' flickering through his mind, and he shook his head. "Too easy. And I'd love it. I sold mine in Brooklyn." There was no easy way to transport it across states, and Steve tended not to get attached to his bikes, preferring to fix them up and sell them.

--

Bucky liked knowing that he seemed to affect Steve just as much, but he'd really rather it not get him punched in that beautiful face. Once for one of them had been more than enough, he figured. "We're lucky I wasn't sitting out here watching you practice," he admitted with a chuckle. That felt like entirely too much so early, but the urge had been there.

He didn't have nearly the self control and he reached up to brush at an errant strand of Steve's hair that was just asking to be brushed into place. He wanted to touch and he wanted to be touched, shockingly tactile for having just properly met him. A snicker escaped him, "My mind wasn't even there, but I like that yours was." He frowned lightly, "That sucks. Pretty sure if I couldn't go for a ride, I'd go crazy." It was one of his favorite escapes, and he liked that Steve rode too. Made things better because it was a built in reason to get his hands on him. "Hungry?"

--

"I could barely focus without you there. I wouldn't have gotten anything right if I knew you were watching," he laughed softly, knowing it was true. He'd definitely not been at his best at practice today with Bucky on his mind, but he would have embarrassed the shit out of himself if he'd been there. Eventually, maybe, he wouldn't affect him so much, but he didn't see that happening soon.

His heart skipped at the soft brush of fingers, but he emphatically didn't mind having Bucky in his space. He shrugged, almost managing to look innocent, but that was just his face. Steve had to try harder to look like he was up to something. "It's alright. I'll fix up another one eventually." There was really no space here for him to do that, but it was cheaper to live on campus right now than for him and Ian to find their own place. He could get by without it for a couple years. He nodded, fingers brushing lightly over his arm. "Let's go."

--

"I won't abuse the power," he teased, echoing his words from the day before, even if his heart went a little soft at the idea of being that distracting to him. There was something comforting in knowing that every bit of that distraction and attraction was mutual. He'd dealt with the new scrapes on his knuckles from his labwork, so he had no room to say anything on the lack of focus.

He was going to keep calling Steve angel, because he doubted that face could look like anything else. "You should," he encouraged, thinking of the small garage space he kept a monthly rental on for his own stuff. If this wound up working like he was more and more hoping it would, he'd have to offer it to him. He slipped his hand into his and tugged him gently over to the bike, pulling out his extra helmet. "Gotta keep that angel face safe," he murmured as he grabbed his own and settled back on his bike, waiting for him to slide on behind him.

--

"I trust you." He smiled, not a trace of teasing in it. He wouldn't get on a motorcycle with someone he didn't trust, and somehow Bucky fell easily into that category already. He just got the feeling that he would never intentionally hurt him. He probably wouldn't have been so open about the level of attraction if Bucky hadn't made it clear it was mutual. Steve was always honest, but there was a difference between honesty and saying everything that came into his head.

He liked Bucky's hand in his, warm and solid and rough in different places than his. "Safety's important," he agreed, slipping the helmet on and sliding onto the back of the bike. He didn't hesitate to settle close and wrap his arms around him. In what Steve was sure was a calculated move on his part, he was trying not to think about being pressed against him, so of course he couldn't think about anything else. "Trouble," he murmured in his ear before the roar of the engine made talking impossible.

--

"Good," he murmured softly. Bucky was never one to set out to hurt anyone, but he was going to be incredibly careful with Steve because he wanted to be. There wasn't a reason to hide the level of attraction, he wasn't one for keeping a secret if he didn't think he had to. Nothing about Steve said that it was necessary to keep it to himself.

Smiling slowly to himself, he reached up to his own helmet to toggle a switch. Right in Steve's ear, as the engine roared to life under them, he just heard, "The best kind." He didn't let people on his motorcycle often, but he liked being able to hear them, to talk to them, so the helmets were one of his rare splurges. His hand slid along his arm before he pulled it away to head out of the parking lot.

--

Trying not to hurt each other seemed like a good way to go through any relationship. He'd have assumed anyone who flirted as openly and as often as Bucky did wasn't serious, but that wasn't the vibe he got from him at all. He'd asked him on a date and made it clear he intended more than one when he could have just asked him home, and Steve probably would have said yes. He didn't think this was casual for either of them.

"Fancy," he chuckled softly. Something told him that addition had been at least as much for Natasha as anyone, unless Bucky dated a lot more than he'd let on. It filled him with an unexpected happiness to be riding again. Steve hadn't allowed himself to actively miss many things from home, or he might never resurface, so he hadn't fully realized how much he missed it. Feeling Bucky's body warm and solid against his definitely didn't hurt either.

--

There was flirting, and then there was flirting with intention. The first just came with the charm and how he talked to people. The second was rare enough for Natasha to take note that he even wanted to. Sure, he'd been tempted to ask him home, but he wanted more than a night and starting that way wasn't what he really wanted.

"I don't let just anyone ride, so when I do, I want to be able to hear them," he said easily. Something about Steve made him want to give him all of his truths. Nat was about the only one who rode with him anymore, and he was okay with that. Feeling Steve pressed against his back was nice and he couldn't help but relax in his hold.

--

He wanted more than just a night with Bucky too, and it was the reason he had even this much restraint. As tempting as he was, he knew it would be a hell of a lot more satisfying to kiss someone he knew and liked instead of a near total stranger. He doubted he was going to make it through a second encounter without trying, but fortunately he already liked him, and tonight was about getting to know each other.

"Oh, I should feel special then?" He was sure Bucky could hear the smile in his voice to go with the teasing. He understood the feeling though, and there weren't a lot of people he liked to ride with him either. Ian was the only one who came to mind, but he pretty much always liked having him around. It was strange to be on the other side of it, but not bad. He doubted having an excuse to be this close to Bucky would ever be a bad thing.

--

Bucky was going to make the most out of whatever time Steve gave him tonight. Wanting to know someone so much was new to him. He'd spent a lot of his life wanting, in one way or another, but not a lot of time having any of what he wanted. Tonight, he hoped he could have at least one thing: Getting to know the angel wrapped behind him.

"You're the first one on this bike since Natasha," he chuckled lightly. Sure, he'd had friends and flings, but that didn't warrant the closeness and trust that came with having someone at his back on his bike. "When was the last time you got to ride?"

--

He hummed softly in appreciation. "At least I'm in good company." He was still slightly terrified of Bucky's best friend, but he appreciated her maneuvering yesterday. If she hadn't gotten involved, even in her offhand way, he might not be here right now. He had no doubt that if she decided she didn't like him or he wasn't good for Bucky, he'd find himself pushed out just as quickly.

"A few months ago, before I moved here. There was no practical way to bring it with me." They couldn't afford to store anything there when they weren't sure they'd be back, and Steve didn't want the tie to home anyway. This was his home now, at least for the next few years, unless it turned out Ian really hated it here. He'd promised him that if it wasn't better after a semester, they would go, but he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

--

At a light, Bucky's hand slid back to brush gently once over the side of Steve's leg as he smiled to himself. "You are," he agreed. Anyone with even half a functional brain was afraid of Natasha, and he included himself. She was either the best thing or worst thing to happen to him and it depended on the day and how she dealt with things she didn't like. He was never bored with her, at least.

"That's totally fair. You can give her a run after dinner," he offered. If he rarely let people ride his bike, driving it was a never sort of situation. But he knew what it was to miss that rush, the freedom and enjoyment there was in it. He wanted to see what it could do to that already beautiful face. "What did you bring with you?"

--

"I wouldn't ask you to do that," he assured him softly. It ached a little, what Bucky was offering, that he trusted him that much already with something that was obviously precious to him. His arm tightened around his waist, and he nuzzled gently into his shoulder. "This is enough for me." It was more than he'd expected to have again so soon, and riding with Bucky definitely had its own perks.

"My brother, Ian. He's a freshman here. And everything we could fit into the truck." Steve lowkey hated the truck. He wasn't a truck person, but it had been what they needed at the time. He'd trade it eventually, when he knew they'd be staying here. Everything else had been sold before they left, and he just hoped it was the right call, dragging his little brother out of the only home he'd ever known in the hopes that it would help him heal.

--

"You're not asking, I'm offering, angel," he reminded him gently. His chest did something complicated when he felt him nuzzle into his shoulder and he wanted to keep him just like that as long as he could. "It's there, whenever you want it." He knew he could trust Steve with his bike, somehow, despite being near strangers. He couldn't help but think he could trust him with a helluva lot more than that.

He hummed softly in curiosity, "So you didn't start college here, I"m guessing?" Something about the way he spoke said that he hadn't, and he wanted to know about him. He loved his sister, but something in him would have died if he had stayed home. Not that Sir would have allowed him to, but they were both quick to get him out of the house regardless.

--

His heart gave a little tug every time he said the word angel. Steve knew he wasn't as good as he thought he was, and he also knew there would be no convincing him of that. He just hoped he never disappointed him, and that was rare for him. Other people's expectations didn't usually factor into Steve's plans, unless they were important people. He thought Bucky could be important. "Thank you," he murmured, not an agreement so much as an acknowledgment of what it meant that he offered.

"No, I stayed home to work and started with community college until Ian graduated." That wasn't all there was to it, and he had a feeling Bucky would sense that. Steve didn't go around sharing his sad story with everyone, but he wasn't purposely being evasive in this case. Much as he liked being wrapped around Bucky, it had its downsides. He couldn't see his face, for example. The back of a motorcycle was hardly the best place for that conversation. "It's a long story, but I'll tell it when we get there, if you want."

--

Something told him that learning Steve's story, getting to know him more, was only going to reinforce how good he was. Bucky was hard to disappoint because he rarely set his expectations for other people very high. If he got disappointed, then he had no one to blame but himself. Life was just easier that way if he went into everything with little to no expectations.

"That's one helluva big brother move," he murmured, a little bubble of guilt rising in him even if he knew things were better for her without him around. He could tell there was more to it and he wanted to know, but he also wanted to see Steve while he talked about the important things. His face said so much. "I'd like that," he agreed. "We're only about a block away, so it won't be long at all." The advantage to the bike was how much easier it made parking.

--

"Things weren't great at home, and I would never leave him." His voice had gone quiet, but it was that absolute certainty that Steve had when he'd picked a side of the line to stand on and nothing would move him. Even if their mother hadn't been sick, he wouldn't have left. Ian had never been great with other people, with making friends. He was too shy, too sweet. Leaving him alone wasn't an option, ever.

"That has its own downsides," he chuckled softly. As much as he'd like the opportunity for conversation, he already knew he'd miss the easy excuse to be close to him. When they'd parked, he slid off the bike and offered the helmet for stashing. It wasn't a restaurant he'd been to before, but that was hardly a surprise. He'd hadn't lived there long enough to see a fraction of the town, and he'd stuck pretty close to campus so far.

--

Bucky barely managed to stop the instinctive, sympathetic wince. "It's good he has you, then," he said gently, his hand brushing over his arm gently before returning to the handlebar. Rebecca had never really wanted that from him, insistent on standing on her own, and he understood that. They loved each other, the best they were able, but what they wanted out of their lives was very different.

"It does," he agreed. He liked having Steve wrapped around him, pressed close to him. When they were settled, he took his helmet and stashed them both under the seat, locking the storage before offering his hand. He selfishly wanted every opportunity to touch him and have him close if he could. "This is a little mom and pop thing, they just opened my freshman year," he informed him as they walked inside.

--

Steve knew his relationship with Ian was far from typical. He didn't know any other siblings who were as close as they were, but he didn't know any who'd been through all the things they had either. His brother was the only person he had left in the world, and vice versa. He'd always been protective, had adored Ian from the day he was born, but the past few years had only strengthened that attachment. He wouldn't even know who he was without it.

He slid his hand into Bucky's, a little surprised by the sweetness of it but not minding an opportunity to stay close. It was nowhere close to cold out, but he was already missing the warmth of him pressed against him. "Local is always the best." He smiled as they went through the door, already encouraged by the delicious smell. All his favorite places in Brooklyn were, and he knew he'd miss them eventually.

--

No one ever really expected the sweetness of him when he let it out, which was a large part of why he rarely did unless he was comfortable or felt safe. He knew exactly what he looked like, often capitalized on it. But tonight, with Steve, he just wanted to be Bucky. He didn't want to be James. He thought it might even work out better for them if he just got to be entirely himself.

He loved this place, the sheer lack of Western culture always making him grin. There were low tables and cushions scattered on the floor, slightly raised platforms with more low tables and cushions on them around the edges of the room. There wasn't a single standard table or chair in sight. Hearing the greeting, he raised his hand and returned the greeting in Hindi before leading Steve to a table on the raised platform in the corner. "The owner is one of the professor's wives from the International Studies department," he told him with a grin.

--

Steve halfway knew what he looked like. He was observant enough to see the changes in people's behavior from skinny kid Steve who was always getting his ass kicked to tall, broad-shouldered Steve who blended in with the jocks. In that aspect, at least, he used it to his advantage too. That didn't mean he always understood the difference, and it bothered him when people seemed to value him most for how he looked.

His smile widened as he looked around, everything charming and unfamiliar. He gave a polite wave with his free hand when they were greeted, allowing Bucky to lead him to a table. "Is that your major?" The subject hadn't come up yesterday, but he would have assumed something more hands on judging by, well, the state of his hands and his comment about the tools.

--

Sure, Steve had caught Bucky's attention because he was nearly heart-stoppingly beautiful. He had kept it because it was clear that he didn't see it and really wasn't bothered by it. Even just what he'd learned about him so far was enough to tell him that he'd been right. He wanted to hear more, to talk to him, to learn how his mind worked and the things he liked.

Bucky settled down onto one cushion, patting the one immediately catacorner to him so they could be close without sitting side by side. He still wanted to see his face, but he wanted him closer than across a table. "No, that's more of a hobby," he admitted with a laugh. "I've taken enough classes it's my minor, though. Mechanical Engineering is my actual major."

--

He could admit the same. Bucky was gorgeous, and the attraction was obvious even at a distance, but in his case, his personality only made him more attractive. If he'd been a terrible person, that would have been over as soon as they'd exchanged a few words. The artist in him could see aesthetic beauty regardless of character, but it was character that moved him, that kept his interest. Plenty of people were pretty. It didn't mean he wanted to spend his time with them.

He took the suggested seat, having no reason to want more distance between them. "You learn languages as a hobby?" He couldn't help a smile. That was so unlike anyone he'd ever met, in a good way. "That sounds like you." He rubbed a thumb gently over his knuckle and one of the newest bruises there. "What got you interested in that?"

--

If it hadn't been for the snuggle moment on his bike, he'd have worried he was asking for too much closeness too soon. He wanted to be able to listen, to watch him, to be close and make the most of the time he got to have with him. He knew it was entirely too early to ask for too much of his time at once, and knowing he had his brother he couldn't bring himself to anyway.

"I do. It started when I was young. Military kid, I was always surrounded by them," he shrugged with a little laugh. His eyes lingered where he brushed over one of his bruises before lifting to his face with a soft smile. "You're going to laugh at me," he chuckled, "But you know those old school sci-fi novels? Like especially H.G. Wells and stuff? I was obsessed with them when I was younger, still am, and I always wanted to build stuff like that. It just...stuck."

--

Being close to Bucky felt right in a way he couldn't explain. It took more effort not to reach out and touch him occasionally, like they'd already known each other forever. Already, he knew he'd be comfortable sharing stories with him, even the difficult ones. Steve wanted him to know him, the real him, not the golden boy, and he wanted to know the real Bucky too, not just the handsome charmer.

"That's a good reason. Did you like moving around?" He could see how something like that might have shaped him into the person sitting before him now, how he seemed perfectly comfortable talking to strangers and being surrounded by other languages and cultures. He didn't laugh, but his smile widened at the obvious fondness there. "That's not funny. It's kind of adorable. When do we get jet packs? I always wanted to try them when I was a kid."

--

He didn't care if he wanted to reach out and touch him, it would be incredibly welcome since he wanted to do the same thing. There was something about him that just made him want to touch him, to brush his hands over his skin just because he could. It matched the way he made him want to talk as much as he wanted to listen, a proper give and take of getting to know one another. He didn't often want to share his life story with someone.

"Yeah, it was cool for a while. There was always something new to see, a new world to explore for a little while. The older you get, the lonelier it kinda gets, though," he admitted. He wound up in schools where everyone had known each other for years, and being the new kid wasn't always fun. "I mean, there's been prototypes. The stablization is really hard though because you have to make sure the thrust and balance and the weight of the..." he trailed off before clearing his throat, his ears going a little pink, "Sorry."

--

"That sounds hard. Do you want to keep traveling, or would you rather be settled? Sorry-- am I asking you too many questions?" He laughed softly, his gaze dropping to the table. He didn't want him to feel interrogated. It was a date, not a job interview. But he couldn't help being curious about his life, his preferences, anything he wanted to tell him.

His blushing was even more adorable, and he barely managed to keep his hands to himself this time. "No, keep going," he encouraged. He should never have to apologize for talking about something he loved. "I like the way you look when you talk about it." There was so much enthusiasm there, such an obvious love for it, like an excited kid peeking through.

--

He gave him a fond smile and reached over to brush the backs of his fingers along his jaw gently before tucking a knuckle under his chin to bring his eyes back to him. "You can ask me anything you want, angel," he assured him. He liked that he wanted to know, that he wanted to ask him questions. Some of the answers wouldn't be easy, and some he wasn't sure he'd give, but he wanted to. "Traveling is fun, but I would rather do it from a home base and in short bursts, I think." He was ready for some constancy.

The encouragement pulled a brilliant smile out of him and it only intensified the desire to lean over the corner of the table and kiss him softly. Luckily, their server appeared next to them and pulled his attention, keeping him from doing it. "Do you like mango?" The question was curious before he placed a drink order.

--

He let him raise his gaze back up. Bucky was what he most wanted to look at right now anyway, while he had him here and it was allowed. He was still too pretty to be believed, and Steve knew he'd never be able to get that gorgeous face right from memory. "That makes sense. Best of both worlds. This is the farthest I've ever been from Brooklyn." Money had been too tight for traveling for most of his life, but that was okay. New York City might as well be a whole world.

That smile out of him was everything, the pure joy in it making him glad he'd offered even if they were interrupted this time. "I'm open to it." It wasn't a favorite, but maybe it could be. Steve wasn't that picky about his food. He followed suit in placing a drink order and realized he hadn't so much as looked at a menu yet. "What do you recommend?"

--

Bucky couldn't imagine a single time where he wouldn't want Steve to look at him. That face was rapidly becoming one of his favorite things to look at and he wanted to enjoy being together while they could. "Exactly!" He tipped his head in curiosity, "I mean, let's be real, New York City has pretty much everything ever, if you know where to go." He asked softly, "What made you leave for school?" He knew there had to be a reason, a big one.

Not many people cared to sit and listen to him ramble like he could when anything nerdy came up for him. It was refreshing and somehow unsurprising, after their last conversation, that Steve wanted to hear him. "Cool, you can try my drink. It's like a mango yogurt milkshake, and it's great to balance out the spicy curry flavors." It was easy to forget that they were in a restaurant when all he wanted was to talk to him, to listen, and everything else barely registered. "The chicken tikka masala is my favorite, and you can choose how hot you want it, but you can do that with just about everything."

--

"It's practically a whole world," he agreed. He loved New York City and suspected he always would. He couldn't really imagine never going back, but he knew he needed the distance right now. He'd rather be here in a place that was nothing like home than there in a place that was supposed to feel like home and didn't. His face shadowed slightly, although he didn't mind the question. It was new enough that he still didn't quite know how to answer it. "There was nothing left for us there after our mom died. She'd been sick for a while."

The offer brought a soft smile to his face. It was just sweet, the way he was coming to expect from Bucky. "That sounds good." He couldn't bring himself to care very much about the food with the distraction of Bucky and getting to know him, but it was obviously one of his favorite places, something he'd chosen to share with him. It mattered because it was a part of him. "Alright, good to know."

--

He knew, realistically, that there was a lot more to Steve than that angel face. He wasn't prepared for the shadow that crossed it, or more than that, he wasn't prepared for how it would make him ache for him. Reaching over, he threaded his fingers through Steve's quietly, his thumb sliding along the side of his hand. "I'm so sorry," the words were soft and filled with a quiet understanding.

Seeing that smile made warmth bloom in his chest, knowing he'd put it there. "You can't go wrong with anything, though," he chuckled lightly. His eyes drifted over his face for a moment. "Okay, so I gotta ask. Why baseball?" He knew it was a thing, especially for New Yorkers, but that didn't mean everybody just played it.

--

It was the first time Steve had told someone and felt a little lighter with the telling, instead of that wordless grief that always welled up in him. It was still there, but with Bucky's hand in his, he didn't feel like he was drowning in it. "Thank you," he said softly, his fingers curling over his. "It's... been hard. For both of us, but for Ian especially. I didn't know how to help him. I thought maybe a new place, and new people, a fresh start." He couldn't stop the uncertainty that bled into it. He really had no idea if taking Ian out of their home was the best thing or the worst, but he couldn't just stay there and watch his brother wall himself away.

He tipped his head, curious to see what he would ask, and he chuckled softly. Of all the things, that one probably wouldn't have occurred to him. "I'm good at it, and I like it." He shrugged, shaking his head. "I was a scrawny kid, sick a lot. I also couldn't keep my mouth shut, so I got my ass kicked a lot. Ian got bullied for being shy and sweet, but I brought a lot of it on myself. Still do," he laughed. There were things Steve just couldn't let go, and seeing people bullied hit close to the top of the list. "Anyway, I grew out of the first two, and sports were just a way of blending in, I guess."

--

He knew that they didn't know each other that well, but he hoped that he gave him at least a little comfort in that grief. He was happy to give him a hand to hold, because sometimes that could make all the difference. "He's struggling?" He knew that his brother was a few years younger, at least, so it was hardly surprising that he was having a harder time with their loss.

Listening to him, cataloging everything he learned about him away, his eyebrow raised. "I have to admit, it's really hard to picture you scrawny and sick," he pointed out with a slow smile. "The mouthy part, I can see," he teased lightly. "It sounds like you do a lot for your brother. Who does it for you?" It was a lot for one person to take on, the world for two people.

--

It was more comfort than he'd had since it happened, and he wasn't prepared for how strongly it would affect him. He was cautioning himself not to get attached to Bucky just because he was being kind and he needed someone, but he knew he was losing that battle. Steve didn't let himself need anyone outside his family. It wasn't fair to put that on someone he'd just met.

He blew out a slow breath, shaking his head. "I knew he wasn't dealing with it, but I didn't realize how bad it was until after. He's never been social, but he shut himself off from everybody but me. Getting him through graduation was rough." It scared the shit out of him. Ian was all he had. He couldn't stand the idea of losing him too, and it was something he didn't know how to help him fight.

Steve knew he was giving away a lot in this one conversation, but if there was any chance of this working between them, they were things Bucky needed to know about him. "I don't like bullies," he admitted with a soft laugh, shaking his head. It was something he could never be silent about. "I do it for myself." Maybe. Sometimes. Not lately, if he was being honest. This date was the first thing Steve had allowed for himself in a long time.

--

Letting himself get attached to someone who was grieving and holding the responsibility for someone else while they did the same thing was probably the least smart thing he could do at the moment. It really didn't even make sense for him to want to, and yet here he was. Wanting to. He lifted his fingers to his lips while he listened, brushing them across his knuckles gently and almost absently while his eyes were on his face. His heart ached, for both of them, and he couldn't imagine what it had been like for Steve.

He could, however, imagine something of what Ian was feeling, just based off the vibes the conversation was giving him. Walls were walls, whether they were made of distance or charm. "How's he handling being here? Does he have a roommate? A friend?"

There was a lot for them to learn about each other, and it was going to take time. The most important thing was knowing that they were both on they same page where they stood with this beyond this date. "I don't either," he agreed, having waded into more than one fight because of it. "Do you, though?" The question was soft, gently challenging, and it was mostly because there was something sad in those sweet blue eyes.

--

Steve wouldn't blame Bucky a bit if he cut and ran after this date. Most people would. Hell, he'd watched it happen again and again since his mom got sick, and the people in his and Ian's life dwindled one by one. They hadn't had anyone that close, and most people couldn't handle that kind of pressure in casual relationships. He didn't blame them, but it made him wary about who he leaned on, until the answer to that question was no one.

His heart beat faster at that soft brush of lips. He'd done it like it was the most natural thing in the world, and it solidified his resolve to kiss him for real before the night was over. Not sitting at a table while he was telling his sad story, but at some point if the opportunity presented itself. If Bucky couldn't handle this and never returned a text from him after tonight, he'd regret not knowing what those lips felt like on his.

"A lot of anxiety, but he's trying." Ian was eating and going to class, at least, so that was a weight off Steve's mind. "His roommate seems like a good guy. He's been kind, friendly. Mine too, for that matter." Sam and Matt had both been better than he had a right to expect about the two of them being in each other's rooms, sometimes in the middle of the night if Ian's nightmares were bad. Steve still worried it was the wrong choice to room separately, but Ian needed at least one other person in his life.

Somehow, he wasn't that surprised when Bucky cut through his bullshit, and he gave a soft chuckle at the callout. "No, not lately. Honestly, coming out with you is the first thing I've done for myself in a long time." Steve knew all the reasons he shouldn't, but it didn't matter. This one time, he didn't want to do the responsible thing.

--

Bucky had never been one for running, and certainly not because someone had a hard life. If that had been the case, he and Natasha wouldn't be best friends. Hell, he wouldn't tolerate himself very well. Even if he and Steve didn't date, didn't do the together thing, he knew he was someone he wanted to know, to have in his life. All he could do was stick, and he could do that. If he had to start tamping down the desire to kiss him, well, he could maybe manage that too.

"It's good that he's trying," he murmured, since it sounded like even that was a lot for him. "Good, I'm glad y'all got lucky with that. I think horror story roommates would have just made it all worse." The concern of his brother and the clear anxiety he could see written on Steve made him curious. "You two probably spend a lot of time together, then," he mused.

The honesty made him smile softly and he sighed, shaking his head at him. "You know, if you're really going to take care of him, that includes taking care of yourself too, right?" That had been a hard lesson for him to swallow where Rebecca had been concerned. "But I have to admit, I'm selfishly very glad you're out with me."

--

Steve's life was still hard, present tense, and he didn't see that changing any time soon. It was plenty of reason for most people to walk. It was hard for him to imagine approaching Bucky as just a friend. That wasn't where his heart was at all, but he knew he'd value whatever time he got with him.

"Yeah, that could have easily backfired. I just wanted him to have a connection that wasn't me." He still didn't know if it had been the right choice, if any of this had been, but he was doing the best he could to pull them both through this. "Every day. You can meet him, if you want. If I haven't frightened you off already. This isn't exactly first date territory." He gave a small, rueful smile. He wouldn't blame him if that was the case.

"I'll be fine. I always am," he assured him. When he was sure Ian was out of the woods, maybe then he'd focus on himself. For now, it was enough to get them settled in their new lives here and see him improving a little. "I'm glad I am too." He gave his hand a soft squeeze before he pulled it away, handing over the menus as their server reappeared for their orders.

--

Bucky hummed softly in understanding. It had been a calculated risk, one he was sure that Steve had a backup plan if it had gone wrong. “It was a good call,” he agreed. “I hope it works out well long-term.” It would be good for both of them, he thought, if it did.

“I’d like to meet him, if you wanted that,” he agreed easily. It was hard to imagine not liking someone that he clearly loved dearly. “Hey, who’s to say what is and isn’t. I wanna get to know you. All this is part of that,” he pointed out with an easy smile.

“I’m sure you are,” he agreed, “but still.” It made him want to curl around him protectively, to just hold him and drown out the rest of the world. It was an absolutely absurd need to already feel, but there it was. Looking up, he placed his order and waited until Steve placed his so he could give him his full attention once the server left.

--

"Me too." This whole thing had been a calculated risk, and Steve had no idea what he was going to do if it failed. It wasn't something he could plan for on his own without knowing where Ian stood, and only time would tell with that. He felt like he was holding his breath to see how it all turned out and just hoping he hadn't failed his brother on a massive scale.

"Of course," he said softly. If there was going to be anything between them, friendship or otherwise, Bucky and Ian would have to meet, but Steve didn't take it for granted that there would be. He regretted a little getting on the subject and the loss of their easy banter of the night before, even if he hadn't said anything that wasn't true. The truth wasn't a very happy concept for him lately. He placed his order and then for the life of him didn't know where the pick up the conversation.

--

He smiled gently at the soft words, the thought that this man needed some fun and joy in his life rising. Everything about him looked like he was made for light and laughter and fun, until you looked and caught that edge of sadness, of 'fite me' that only made him all the more intriguing. Once the server was gone, he shifted lightly on his cushion, turning more fully towards Steve.

"Alright, so you play baseball and you do comic art for the school paper. Art major on a sports scholarship?" His eyebrows wagged in challenge, curious to know if he was right or wrong. Bucky could pull a conversation out of nowhere, if he was so inclined, but this was all him wanting to know everything Steve was willing to tell him.

--

It wasn't easy to shift gears and pull himself out of the sadness of those topics. It was impossible, actually, but Steve had gotten good at burying his feelings. He had to if he expected to get on with his life. It wasn't something he wanted to bring further into this night with him. If he only got this one, he wanted to enjoy it.

"Got it in one." He smiled, not bothered that Bucky could read him so well already. "What about you? What do you do when you're not punching people and building things?" He felt he'd been talking too much, and he wanted to hear more about Bucky anyway. Aside from his job and his major, he was mostly still a mystery.

--

He didn't want Steve to bury anything with him, but he wanted him to have the chance at more than just the sadness that had been dogging his heels. He wanted them to have so much more than tonight, but if that was all Steve let him have, he wanted to make it good for him. Reaching over, he picked up his hand to idly play with. He'd never done well just sitting still.

Chuckling, he shrugged, "I mean, it's an easy put together if you're paying attention." And he had long since established that he paid attention to Steve, even before this. "Ah, really? Punching people and building things is about the sum total of my life starting this semester. I"m still trying to work out the life thing," he admitted with a shrug. "Up until this semester, I was in the ROTC program, and it always ate up a lot of my free time."

--

The simple contact made him smile. With his free hand, he pulled a fine-tipped marker out of his pocket and uncapped it. He flipped Bucky's hand palm up and raised his gaze to him in a question. "Do you mind?" Steve was prone to drawing on anything that held still long enough. It was only strange that it hadn't happened already.

"It's not that easy, figuring out a life." He gave a small, sympathetic smile. He was curious to know why Bucky of all people struggled with that. He was one of the most vibrant and alive people he'd ever met. "What made you decide to stop?" He knew he'd grown up in it, but it could have been something his parents wanted for him, or simply what felt normal until he'd figured out what he really wanted.

--

Laughing softly, he nodded, "By all means, go ahead." He couldn't guarantee that he held still as well as anyone wanting to draw on him would hope, but he could try. It helped, having something to focus on, though, and Steve was perfect for that. He let his eyes linger on his face and fell still, almost perfectly so.

"No, not one for yourself," he admitted with a quirk of his lips. The question made him sigh softly, and he knew that Steve deserved his hard truths after offering his. "I'm tired of living a life someone else wants for me. The Colonel... he has very exacting expectations, and has from the moment he adopted my sister and I. I did what I could to live up to those, and have mostly succeeded, but," he trailed off and shook his head. "There's a lot of things that I want for myself that he wouldn't approve of."

--

His drawing was unrushed but purposeful as he listened, his gaze flicking frequently back up to Bucky's face as he spoke. He liked to watch him while he talked, and he could tell he'd accidentally stumbled into a more serious topic. "I'm sorry he put that on you," he said softly. Steve's father had been terrible, true, but he hadn't lived long enough to force too many expectations on him.

"It's more important that you're happy. You've seen enough of military life to know if that's for you or not. You deserve a life that you want." He didn't imagine for a moment that the Colonel would see it that way, just based on Bucky's words and how he looked when he spoke about him. Steve was good at defying expectations because he was just contrary like that, but if it had come from home, someone close? Maybe not. Their mother had never asked them to be anything but happy. "What about your mom?"

--

Bucky didn't talk about the Colonel or his home life often at all, not even to Natasha. "That's the way it has always been," he murmured softly. He had been old enough when he lost his parents to remember the difference. He'd learned quickly that he could only flout the man's expectatations so many times.

Shaking his head slowly, he looked down at his hand to watch the marker slide along his skin. "The Colonel would disagree with you. I owe it to him to live up to his legacy because he took me in," the words were flat, a parrot repetition of words he'd heard for years. His face set slightly, "She wants me to find that happiness in the bounds the Colonel's laid out."

--

"That doesn't mean it should be," he said softly. Steve was all too familiar with the gritty reality of the world. It often wasn't fair or kind, but that never stopped him from believing that it should be. It was often that dissonance between what was and what should be that triggered that fighting instinct and his stubbornness. He never stopped believing that the world, that people, could be better.

Those words would have been a red flag for someone like Steve, who chafed against any kind of authority, but Bucky's tone when he said them was what stopped him cold. That protectiveness that he didn't even have a right to flared in him. His jaw set stubbornly, though his tone remained casual. "Oh, we definitely wouldn't get along." It just made him sadder that even his mom wasn't on his side. "I'm so sorry, Buck. I take it mechanical engineering wasn't his idea?"

--

"Trust me, I know that," he admitted quietly, sighing to himself. He reached up with his free hand to brush at a soft lock of hair that tempted him too much not to. "I just had to get to a point where I didn't jeopardize anything for my little sister before I could change it." His way of protecting her was different than Steve's with Ian, but a lot of that was in necessity.

A soft huff of laughter escaped him and he nodded in agreement, "No, no, you definitely wouldn't." Seeing that gorgeous jawline set, he wanted to lean over and kiss it. "He doesn't mind the mechanical engineering part. It would give me an easy entrance into Aerospace if I really wanted to lean into it, and it's a huge commission piece in the military these days. Heaven forbid I want to do anything civilian, though, or throw away becoming an officer straight out of graduation." He rolled his eyes lightly.

--

Every time Bucky leaned toward him, his heart skipped. It didn't matter that they were having a serious conversation. It had a mind of its own. He frowned slightly, flipping his hand so the drawing could curve around his wrist and over the back of his hand. "Why would it jeopardize things for her?" If the Colonel was the type of person to use the two siblings against each other, then Steve liked him even less.

"Do you? Want to do something civilian instead of being an officer." It made him sad for no reason to think of Bucky going away. He barely knew him. He might never see him again after tonight anyway. But it still ached to think of this as temporary, even if he knew that college usually was. At most, Bucky would probably only be here for two more years anyway.

--

His hand just moved wherever Steve put it, absorbed in the gentle brush strokes of the marker and feeling his hand curled around his. "Because the second he thinks I'm stepping outside of his bounds, he'll upend her life to get me back in line," he said quietly. "She's in line for an early graduation, though, so this semester is it, and her semester ends before mine does, so," he trailed off, because it was clear why he'd chosen this semester to finally do what he wanted instead of what was expected of him.

"I do," he nodded, "I don't want to join the military. It's been my whole life, and it's great for some people. I don't want it." That much, he knew for absolute certain. "I want to live where I want, when I want. I want to date this really handsome guy that is turning me into his personal sketchpad." He gave him a teasing smile. "None of that is stuff I can have in The Colonel's Grand Plan."

--

"Jesus, Bucky. I-- I'm so sorry. That's wrong, to use someone you love to control you." Steve couldn't help the quiet outrage welling up for him. It wasn't his place, and there was nothing he could do about it, but it needed to be said anyway. That was a fucked up thing for anyone to do, least of all a parent.

He was so certain about it, what he didn't want, and his heart ached a little for the fight that was coming for him. "More than one date?" He smiled, obviously liking the idea. It faded slightly at his next words, an eyebrow going up at the implication. He couldn't be very surprised that a guy he already considered an asshole was also a homophobe. "Oh, it's like that, is it?"

--

He shook his head, a soft smile on his face. "I won't say it's fine, because I won't lie that way. I will say it's new... didn't start until I left for college," he admitted with a little shrug. "Rebecca and I, we've learned to work with it, to deal with it however we can. Flout it wherever possible." He called the man the Colonel for a reason. There wasn't a whole lot of parental respect there.

The moment he'd made his decision to do what he wanted, he knew what he was risking, the fight that was on his hands. He liked that smile on his face and he nodded, shifting a little closer. "Definitely more than one date," he confirmed. The moment his smile faded, he sighed softly, "For him, yeah. For me, he can go fuck himself."

--

Steve had no idea how he could say that and smile about it, but at least he seemed okay. "It's not fine," he agreed, shaking his head gently. "You're close?" He wanted to hear more about his relationship with his sister. It was clearly different from his with Ian, but there was still protectiveness there.

"I like the sound of that," he admitted. Steve didn't care what anyone's parents thought about this. He doubted his own father would have approved, which only would have made him want to do it more. He'd be glad to fight that particular fight with Bucky. "What's going to happen to you, when he finds out?" he asked softly. He could probably keep Steve a secret if it came to that, but the rest wouldn't stay hidden forever.

--

The terrible thing about Bucky was that he would smile at Death itself if it had pissed him off. "Yeah," he chuckled, "As much as we try to deny it. That's my baby sister, and there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for her. But damn if she isn't a pistol of a thing, so we butt heads as much as we get along." There was obvious fondness in his voice to match the soft laughter.

"So do I," he agreed, because this was all solidifying that one night, one date, wouldn't be enough for him. The soft question made him brush his fingers over Steve's hand gently. "Nothing that doesn't need to happen," he pointed out. "My parents didn't leave us much, but my trust is mine, and the moment Rebecca turns 18, so is hers. I just had to get us to that point. Her birthday is in six weeks. After that, none of it matters."

--

"I like her already," he chuckled softly. He was noticing a pattern in the kinds of people Bucky kept close. Between Natasha and Rebecca, it sounded like he was in good company. It made him feel better about their chances. They had things in common, not just in the motorcycles or the punching things, but in what they valued, how they approached things.

"As long as you'll both be safe. That's all that matters." He finished his drawing, a dragon that looped around his wrist. He raised Bucky's hand and pressed a soft kiss to his palm, capping the pen and sliding it back into his pocket. It was decent timing as their food arrived, and he realized he was hungry. Bucky had a way of capturing all his attention.

--

"You would really like her, I think. Way too much sass packed into a small body and I made the mistake of teaching her how to throw a proper right hook," he grinned, more than a little proud. He liked the idea of Steve approving of his sister. They had more in common than he'd expected at the beginning of this, and he was enjoying learning more about him. That fierceness in him was rapidly becoming a favorite.

"We will be," he murmured as he watched him. That soft press of lips made his stomach swoop in the best way and it took him a second to snap out of it. Looking at his hand, he let out a soft, delighted laugh and pulled out his phone to take a picture. "That's amazing," he said, his voice a little awed before he finally looked up to thank their server.

--

"That's an important life skill. The sass and the punching," he chuckled softly. He'd taught Ian everything he could, even if his brother was too sweet to go around picking fights like Steve did. The way they'd grown up, he needed him to be able to defend himself in case he wasn't there. "Is she planning on college too?"

Bucky's skin was soft against his lips, and it made him more sure than ever that he wanted to kiss him for real later. His delight in the drawing made him smile. "Not my best, but in a pinch." He loved drawing for its own sake, but he could admit to wanting to impress him a little. He thanked their server with a smile. "This looks great."

--

“Barnes kids have it in spades,” he snickered, considering his job. He’d never actually seen her use it, but he’d caught wind of her threats and they were always entertaining. “I think she wants to travel,” he shook his head. “Or at least take time off and do whatever she wants to.”

His eyebrow raised curiously at him. “I can’t wait to see your best,” he admitted with a smile. It wasn’t anything he could ever do, that was for sure. “I hope you like it.”

--

He laughed softly. They weren't the worst qualities. Rogers kids had them too, but Ian usually had to be pushed past his sweetness before the sass came out. It had been so long since Steve had heard something like that from him, and he felt the tug of missing his brother when he was happy. "That sounds nice. I'm glad you'll both get to do what you want." He was glad they'd be free of that manipulation.

He raised an eyebrow in return, his smile going teasing. "You didn't internet stalk me. Good to know. I post a lot of it on Instagram," he chuckled. It was mixed in with shots of Brooklyn and scenery and selfies. It had a decent following, but that was mostly because the web comic he wrote with Ian had a better one. It hadn't had a lot of updates recently, for obvious reasons, but he'd always loved working on it.

--

He liked the sound of his laugh, even soft. It made him want to smile in reaction, but then, there was a lot about Steve that made him want to smile already. "I'm curious to see where she decides to go. We've never been the attached at the hip siblings, but we like knowing what each other's up to." He wouldn't have minded having her around more, but she was stubbornly independent and he couldn't help but approve of that for her.

He chuckled lightly and shook his head, "No, I didn't. I figured you'll show me and invite me into what you want me to know and see." It was their first date, and he didn't want to waltz into parts of a life he wasn't wanted in. As curious as he was about him, he wanted to do this right.

--

"Where would you go?" Steve had never been able to afford to travel, and he didn't see that changing any time soon. Like most things he couldn't have, he didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it. It was just easier not to. Bucky, on the other hand, had grown up traveling and probably had a much better sense of it: places he'd like to visit for the first time, and places he'd like to go back to.

"I didn't either, but that's mostly because it wouldn't have occurred to me," he chuckled. Aside from his art, he didn't give a lot of thought to his social media. It probably would have seemed rude to him to just invite himself into a stranger's business like that. "I'll show you later." Scrolling was awkward while they were eating, and he wanted to just enjoy the food and his company.

--

"Me?" He had to actually pause to think about it, because it wasn't something he'd let himself really think on. It definitely wasn't anything he could afford to do for a while. "I want to go to Spain, now that I"m an adult," he decided with a chuckle, "and probably Greece." Those were the top two that came to mind easily.

"Because you're an angel," he teased with a slight chuckle, bumping his knee to his gently under the table. He smiled happily at the thought of getting to see his stuff after they ate. "Sounds good to me," he agreed before finally tucking into his food. "Are you liking it here so far? The school and stuff?"

--

"Great art," he approved with a smile. Not that he would know firsthand, but he’d taken enough art history to know where to go. Up until now, he’d been content to travel at the Met and in his mind, but maybe someday. He couldn’t imagine having to move around all the time growing up. His home life hadn't always been stable, but at least they'd had that.

"I'm really not. But I like how it sounds when you say it." He shook his head. He didn't want Bucky to get the wrong idea about him. Steve was no angel. He was just a regular guy. He followed his lead and started eating, not surprised that the food was great. "It's different. This town is a lot smaller than what I'm used to, but the dorms are their own kind of chaos. The people are nice though. Love my art classes. What about you? You like it here?"

--

"I can easily imagine you in some of those museums," he mused with a light chuckle. He would love to see Steve's face as he looked at the art, to see what his artist's eyes saw in it. Already, he was making a mental note to find more museums around that were close enough to take him to without keeping him from his brother for too long.

"Angels aren't perfect, you know. They're warriors, beautiful and strong, and as frightening as they are hope bringing," he pointed out softly. As they ate, he was happy to listen to Steve talk, to soak up the cadence and timbre of his voice. "That they definitely are, but they're cool," he agreed with a grin. "Yeah, I do, actually. I get to be myself here."

--

"Your imagination is better than mine," he chuckled. Steve had never been able to imagine himself anywhere but Brooklyn until recently. He still struggled to push his imagination past this place. Oh, he could dream up whole worlds in his art or telling stories with his brother, but the only version of himself he put in them was the superhero one he’d conjured for Ian when they were kids. It wasn’t really him.

His heart just melted a little more with the explanation. He wasn’t sure he deserved that one either, but he knew better than to argue. "Am I frightening?" he asked softly. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Bucky off, but he got it. It was terrifying to feel so much for someone so fast. "I like the sense of community. Not a lot of privacy though." He smiled. Half the people on his floor didn't even shut their doors. It was both good and bad depending on what you were trying to accomplish. "I like that for you."

--

His imagination spent a little too much time lingering on Steve these days, and it sent pink flaring in his cheeks despite himself. "I don't know about that," he chuckled lightly. From what he knew so far, it wasn't hard to see why he couldn't picture himself anywhere else. It was hard to when you'd never been anywhere else, he guessed.

He smiled slowly, his eyes drifting over his face and letting his hand brush over his knee he'd bumped lightly. "The only thing frightening is how much I already really want to kiss you," he murmured softly, "And I don't even know if frightening's the right word." He wouldn't hide his attraction, not now. A little chuckle escaped him and he shook his head. "Yeah, the constant people around can get trying," he agreed, but there was a part of him that enjoyed it.

--

He raised an eyebrow, curious about the heat rising in his cheeks. He liked the color on him even if he had no idea what had caused it. He didn’t ask, but he couldn’t resist reaching out to run the backs of his fingers gently over that warm cheek. Bucky was so kissable, it was practically a crime, and Steve couldn’t even pretend he was getting used to it.

Bucky’s hand on his knee was far more distracting than it should have been, and his words weren't helping. Steve always tried for honesty, and he liked that Bucky was so straightforward about his feelings in this. It made it a lot easier to navigate. "You should definitely kiss me goodnight," he murmured. He wanted to kiss him, but later, when there weren't eyes on them and he wouldn't have to stop so soon. "I might think you didn't enjoy our date if you don't."

--

His breath hitched at that soft contact and he couldn't help but tip his face into it. It was one of those surprisingly intimate gestures and he didn't really want it to end. But then, he knew that he already liked when Steve touched him, however innocent it was.

Straightforward was the way Bucky preferred to be, and he was glad that it was serving him well when it came to Steve. His eyes lingered on his lips at the invitation and he had to tamp down the groan of pure wanting that tried to get out. "Believe me, I have every intention of thoroughly kissing you tonight, Steve." His eyes drifted up to his, "We can't have that, since I really am."

--

When he tipped his face for the contact, he flipped his hand, palm curving over the side of his face for a moment. It took effort not to lean over and steal a quick kiss right now, but Steve knew he wouldn’t want to be quick about it. He wasn’t going to be satisfied with quick, not with wanting him this much.

It was a relief to know they were on the same page with that, but it didn’t help his self-control any. Heat coiled through him at the words, and he couldn’t help the way his eyes flicked to his lips. "Thoroughly?" He met his eyes, a smile in them. "I am too." It was almost a relief when their server interrupted with the check, and he used the moment to try to wrangle his self-control back into submission.

--

His hand slid up to press against Steve's when he flipped it, and he turned to press his face into it, pressing his lips lightly to his palm. It was the closest he could let himself get at the moment, and he was selfish enough to take it. Brushing his fingertips along the back of his hand, he tipped his face so he could look at him properly again.

He could see that spark of heat and had to force himself not to chase it yet. They had all the time they could want for fanning that heat. "Thoroughly," he confirmed for him with a nod. Distracted by the appearance of the server, he sighed softly when he had to divert his attention. It was a good thing, allowing both of them that moment to regain their self-control, but he'd be lying if he didn't admit to being annoyed. Paying the bill was quick and he stood, offering his hand to him.

--

That soft, sweet kiss did something complicated to his heart. Steve knew this wasn't casual for him, that he liked Bucky as a person and wanted him more than was reasonable in such a short time, but it was the first time he realized how easy it would be for Bucky to steal his heart. He’d never really done this with hearts on the table before, but he didn’t want to stop even if he ended up with it in pieces.

He had to bite down an argument about the check. It wasn’t expected, but it was appreciated, and he’d like to return the kindness at some point. He slid his hand easily into his, giving it a soft squeeze as they left. "Thank you, for dinner. It was amazing. Almost like being home." He smiled. New York City had every food he could possibly think of. It wasn’t something he'd had time to miss yet, but he knew he would eventually.

--

Bucky wasn’t usually one for such soft, easy affection but he wanted to give all of it to Steve. It was almost maddening, the hold he already had. He wasn’t sure how smart this was, when everything about him made him want to just hold on and not let go. This could ruin him, terrifyingly easily.

He tangled his fingers with his when he took his hand, shooting him an easy smile. “You’re welcome. I’m glad you liked it,” he had wanted to take care of him, to treat him since he’d been the one to ask him out. “There’s a lot of places like this tucked around the city, if there’s ever something you’re really missing.”

--

Steve had been in relationships before, but he wasn’t expecting to move here and find someone he didn’t want to let go of in the first couple weeks. He was trying hard not to get ahead of himself, to remember that they didn't actually know each other that well and this was only a first date with a hint that there might be another.

That was something he could address, at least. "I'd like to try them with you." He'd like to go out with him again, whatever they might be doing, and Bucky seemed as fond of different food as he was of different languages. His thumb ran softly over his knuckles, and he was actually a little disappointed to reach the bike. He didn’t want to go home or for this to be over.

--

Already Bucky had every intention of more dates, as many as Steve would let him have. It wasn’t even about the dates. He just wanted his time, to give him his attention. It didn’t matter if it was just spending time doing homework together, or curling up with a movie, or going on an actual date. He wanted to get to know him as well as he knew anyone that mattered, and the list of those people was short.

“I want to take you,” he smiled happily at the knowledge that they both wanted more of this. He didn’t want this to end, to be responsible and take him home and walk away. “How about we take the long way back?” He could at least do that, extend their time a little bit before doing the right thing.

--

Steve already knew he didn't want to limit his time with Bucky to just dating, not least of which because he knew he wouldn't have that much of it during baseball season. Even if they were just studying or grabbing a meal together in the dining hall, he wanted more time with him than just that. It would be easier, too, if Ian and Bucky liked each other once he had a chance to introduce them. Ian usually ended up being friends with his friends, if they were going to have any place at all in Steve's life.

"Alright." He gave him a soft smile, not sure if Bucky could read him that easily already or if his mind was just in the same place about not wanting to end this so soon. He liked to think he wanted to be here just as much as Steve did. He had no objections to a longer ride with him, and he gave his hand a soft squeeze before he pulled away so they could get settled with helmets and everything.

--

Time together was time together, regardless of what they did. He knew that he had responsibilities, was far from bothered by them. Already, he was hoping that Ian liked him well enough that he didn't feel obligated to have to walk away from Steve when they met. He couldn't imagine Steve keeping anyone around that his brother didn't like, especially with everything going on.

He didn't want this to end, wanted to stay with Steve for as long as the night allowed, longer even. His thumb brushed along his hand as they separated and he passed him the helmet and got settled on the bike. He didn't trust himself to touch him too much yet, because he wouldn't stop. The same knowledge applied to kissing him. When he felt Steve's weight settle behind him, he reached back to run his hand along the outside of his thigh gently.

--

Ian liked most people. If they bothered to get to know him, Steve thought most people would like him too. He’d always been shy, but he’d retreated so far into himself after their mom died that nobody could get close. He seemed to do okay with Sam and Matt though, so Steve was cautiously hopeful about Bucky. He was kind, and that was usually enough.

Settling in behind him was something he could all too easily get used to. He liked the excuse to be close, to wrap himself around all that solid warmth. He curled an arm around his waist, the other running lightly along his side, and it was probably best there were helmets keeping them apart. "Drive, before I change my mind about waiting to kiss you," he murmured.

--

Feeling Steve settled in behind him and wrapped around him was a feeling he hadn’t expected to already crave. He wanted more excuses for him to be that close. A shiver ran through him at the brush of his hand over his side, only made worse by the murmur in his ear. It tempted him right to pulling his helmet off immediately.

Blowing out a slow breath, he squeezed his leg gently. “Just a little while longer,” he said softly before removing his hand and getting them out of the parking lot. He regularly took drives around the area as a way to relax and clear his head, so he knew just about every way to get through the city. He took him along one of the prettier routes, until he came across a lookout spot close to the school. Pulling off, he turned slightly to him, tugging his helmet off.

--

It was clear Bucky knew his way around the city. Steve hadn’t done any proper exploring except once or twice on the weekends when he could persuade Ian to venture out. They had time for that, and it was enough getting to know the campus and their new schedules. He didn’t want to overwhelm him with everything right away.

It was prettier than Brooklyn could ever dream of, and Steve couldn’t get used to being able to see ocean and mountains sometimes on the same day. He loosened his hold when they stopped, pulling the helmet off. "This is pretty." The view was great, but he was finding it hard to focus on anything but Bucky. The scenery couldn’t hope to compete with that handsome face.

--

He didn’t have a lot of reason to hang around campus when he wasn’t in class or in labs. It meant a lot of time out and about in town, going to the beach or finding somewhere to just explore. He didn’t do idle time very well lol it bout good reason. He could understand Steve’s reasoning, though, that care that ran so deep.

A part of him hated stopping because it meant he wasn’t holding on anymore. But it meant he could actually see him. “Yeah, it is,” he murmured softly. “Stay right there,” he instructed before sliding off his back just enough to turn around and straddle it backwards, his legs crossing over Steve’s. His eyes drifted over his face, reaching up to brush his fingers along his jaw.

--

It wouldn't have surprised him at all that Bucky spent more time in town than on campus. For someone who had grown up traveling, it was probably strange to stay in one place for too long. He could admit he'd like to get to know it better, and the idea of exploring the town and the surrounding area with him held a lot of appeal.

He had every intention of holding on to Bucky more, despite being stopped. He raised an eyebrow at the instruction but didn't move. It might have been easier for him to turn around if he had, but Steve would have been frozen in place anyway once he realized what he was doing. He wasn't prepared to have Bucky practically sitting in his lap. He groaned softly as his legs settled over his, the last of his restraint snapping as he slid a hand into his hair and leaned forward to kiss him.

--

That raised eyebrow made him smile to himself because he was used to getting that from people all over his life. He didn’t care so much about making it easier on himself. He was much more intent on getting to see Steve properly and wrap his arms around those damn shoulders. Hearing his soft groan sent a shiver down his spine and he shifted closer to meet that kiss.

His hair was even softer under his fingers than it looked, one hand sliding through it while the other slid over his shoulder. For a man who looked so much like an angel, his lips were sinfully soft on his. He was glad he’d thought to stop away from the school, and not at his dorm room. His self-control wasn’t THAT good.

--

Self-control was going to be an issue with him if they kept seeing each other. Steve was already struggling to keep his kisses soft and sweet when he wanted to pull him close and absolutely devour him. He could do the first, at least, and he wrapped an arm around his waist and tugged him closer until Bucky's body was a long line of heat against his. He didn't care if that put him practically in his lap. He was past pretending he didn't want him.

He didn't want to kiss him like an angel either, but he also didn't want to rush him. He kept his kisses light but couldn't resist a soft nibble at that tempting bottom lip. It was a good spot he'd chosen, isolated enough that he could kiss him at his leisure, but not private enough that he'd be tempted to take things further. Probably. He wouldn't claim to be doing his best thinking right now.

--

Bucky didn't particularly want Steve to have any self-control when it came to him. He hadn't from the moment he'd opened his eyes in the gym to see him kneeling in front of him. Shifting into that pull was easy, and pressing against him pulled a soft sound out of him. In his lap was exactly where he wanted to be, so it was far from a difficult position for him to be in.

He gave a brief, passing thought to letting him keep everything light and let it immediately pass. That soft nibble made him groan roughly and he shifted entirely onto his lap. His hands sank deep into his hair and he deepened the kiss because he definitely didn't want him to kiss him like an angel.

--

Steve didn't really want to hold back. He hadn’t from the moment this started. As long as it was what Bucky wanted too, he saw no reason not to give in to some of that heat between them, and the communication seemed pretty straightforward right now even if there wasn't a lot of dialogue.

He echoed the sound as he shifted fully onto his lap, arms tightening around him and pressing him close. He stopped worrying about being sweet and kissed him the way he wanted to, deep and hungry and wanting. The real thing was better than anything his imagination could conjure up, and he knew because he'd spent a lot of time thinking about it. Better. So much better.

--

Communication came in a lot of forms, and this was one he was looking forward to exploring further with him. It was the best way to let him know that he was entirely welcome and wanted, that the heat was mutual. It had gotten increasingly harder to keep his hands to himself as their date had gone on.

Heat slid down his spine at the shift in the kiss, his hands tightening in his hair as he met him with his own hunger and want. Nothing could have prepared him for this kiss, for the deep heat of it that made him want to be really reckless.

--

He'd known the first time he saw that beautiful face that Bucky was going to be trouble for him, and the attraction only grew the more he got to know him. They’d found excuses to keep touching each other all night, but that didn’t prepare him for this. He wasn’t prepared for hands down the best kiss of his life, but of course Bucky would be good at this too.

If he’d thought wanting him was bad before, he had no idea how he was going to stop himself from now on. If he could have Bucky’s body molded to his and his lips on his at any given time, he’d chose that. He could spend all night just kissing him like this, learning every swipe of tongue or press of teeth that made him shiver under his hands.

--

It was rare that the surface attraction kept deepening once he spent hours with a person. He could listen to Steve talk as much as he could just sit and watch him. The small touches had only added to the desire to touch him properly instead of soothing it back just a little. He wondered if it would always be like that, or if it would eventually at least stabilize.

Knowing exactly what he tasted like, how his lips felt on his, he knew the distraction was going to be worse than ever. He was happy to stay exactly where he was, wrapped in Steve's arms and being kissed out of his mind, for as long as possible. He wanted to learn everything he liked, and this was really just the start.

--

A part of Steve was glad they’d stopped somewhere relatively public so he wouldn't be tempted to take this further, and a part of him was kicking himself for exactly the same reason. It was addicting enough just kissing him, but he was going to internally combust kissing him on a bike with Bucky in his lap. It wasn’t playing fair, and he wasn’t sure he wanted him to.

His hands slid warm over his back, over his shirt because he was (mostly) trying to behave, even if he had to keep reminding himself of that. His lips trailed a line of heat along his jaw and down his neck, teeth scraping gently at the soft skin below his ear, and he tried to block out every other possibility for having him in this position from his brain. It was doing nothing for his self-control.

--

He wouldn't lie and say that his chosen location hadn't been carefully considered. It forced him to mostly behave himself when so very little of him was inclined to it. Where he'd decided to make himself comfortable made that rather clear. He was happy to put cards on the table for him, to let him know exactly where he stood on the idea of this.

A shiver ran down his spine and he arched into him with those warm hands on his back. His head tipped back to give him room and he didn't even bother trying to stop the sound he got out of him. His hand slid to curl around the back of his neck in encouragement, the other staying tangled in his hair.

--

A shudder ran through him, his hands sliding to encourage that sweet arch, and he lost the battle to keep his mind out of the gutter. He wanted Bucky just like this, in his lap arching so sweetly for him and making those sounds without the barriers of clothes and public decency between them. There was no point in pretending otherwise.

He slid a hand into his hair to tip his head a little further, lips trailing down his neck, teasing out more reactions with tongue and teeth. He found his way back to his lips and forced himself to keep his kisses lighter and softer. If he didn’t force himself to cool down a little, he wasn't sure how long he'd keep caring that it was only their first date.

--

If his hands felt this damn good through his shirt and he was this comfortable sitting on his lap on a motorcycle, he could only imagine how it would feel without the clothes and on a bed. The very thought of it pulled a soft, needy sound out of him and he knew that he was in trouble. It had been a very long time since he had just wanted so badly, if he even really had.

There was nothing he could imagine denying those clever lips of his, especially not when he enjoyed them so much. He understood the need to cool down, because he was on the verge of absolute recklessness himself. His fingers trailed softly through his hair and over the back of his neck as he continued to lighten the kisses before brushing his lips over his softly and resting his forehead against his. "Damn," he whispered softly in the slight space between their lips.

--

Steve knew he was in deep trouble with that soft, needy sound. It had the immediate effect of making him want to give Bucky everything he wanted, and that was dangerous ground. He’d never felt attraction this strong or this fast before, and it made him want to do something reckless. It had been a long time since he’d allowed himself to even think about not doing the responsible thing.

It took effort not to give in to that heat and chase more, but there was no real downside to kissing Bucky in any way. He tasted sweeter than anyone had a right to, and he didn’t kiss like a nice boy, and it was kind of the best of both worlds. "Damn," he agreed softly, fingers sliding slowly through his hair. It about summed up that whole experience.

--

Bucky didn't have too many reasons to be careful in this. He couldn't be shaken of the idea that Steve would be worth anything if it meant he got to have him, even just for a little while. It was dangerous, to want him that much already. That had never been something to stop him before, and it wasn't going to be now, he knew that much.

For all that he looked like an angel, Bucky knew now just how much heat and definitely-not-nice-boy was actually there and it only made him want him more. "I will never, ever look at my motorcycle the same way," he admitted with a soft laugh.

--

Stopping this now would only hurt both of them, and he had no reason to do that. He could argue to himself that it wasn’t a great time to try to start a relationship, but Steve had a feeling the timing might never be great for him. The last several years certainly hadn’t been. He wasn’t walking away from this, not without a damn good reason.

"I don't think I'm going to look at any motorcycle the same way again," he laughed softly. It was definitely that kind of kiss, the kind he wanted to replay in his head again and again. He stole another soft kiss while he was close, lingering over his lips. He didn’t know when he’d get to do it again and didn’t want to waste the opportunity.

--

He wanted to be there, wanted Steve to be able to turn to him. It wasn't sensible, nothing about this was, and he knew it. It didn't change his decision. If Steve wanted it, he had no reason to walk away because he knew that he wanted it.

"It also means I want you on it again. A lot," he murmured, his eyes drifting over him before he was kissed again. He wasn't very inclined to moving away, happy to linger in it for as long as they could manage. He was rapidly developing ideas to be able to kiss him again and soon.

--

He told himself to behave and promptly did what Steve always did when someone tried to boss him around and pulled hard in the opposite direction. He nibbled gently at his bottom lip, hands running over his thighs. "I want you in a lot of places," he admitted, his voice going husky with it.

He didn’t want to pretend he didn't, that he didn’t want him. Encouraging that heat was a part of it, but if that was all it was, he would have had an easier time walking away. Kissing was always better with context, and he liked everything he’d learned about Bucky so far.

--

There was a lot about Steve that Bucky already enjoyed. He could listen to him talk forever, that sweet loyal streak for his brother, his care, his art. What he hadn't been prepared for was the way his spine just melted at the sound of his voice like that. A soft sound that gave away everything escaped him and his thighs quivered under his hands.

A soft, rough groan escaped him and he tipped his head to kiss him again, trailing his lips to nibble lightly at his jaw. "I have to see you again soon," he murmured against his skin, scraping his teeth lightly.

--

It was gratifying to know he had the same effect on Bucky that Bucky had on him, even if he wasn't totally prepared for it. His hands tightened on his thighs, his mind running instantly to all the other ways he could have him wrapped around him and quivering for him. He swore softly, a shiver running through him.

He tipped his head into the kiss, a little glad his lips trailed lower before he had time to get carried away with it. He wasn’t sure Bucky’s lips and teeth on his jaw were doing a whole lot more for his self-control though. "You can see me any time you want," he murmured, not caring if that made him too available. Steve didn’t play games, hard to get or otherwise.

--

It helped a little bit to know that he wasn't the only one thoroughly in deep with this. That soft swear sent heat and warmth blooming through him, understanding entirely. He clamped down hard on the urge to roll against him, ignoring the way his brain wanted to know exactly how those hands would feel without the denim in the way.

He forced himself to brush his lips over his jaw and then sit back some, despite how inviting and rumpled he was. "Good, that makes it easier for me to return you to your dorm and do my damndest to walk away," he sighed softly. "Same goes, you know." He didn't see any reason why he shouldn't know that Bucky would be right there in a heartbeat if he asked.

--

His hands slid to his back, keeping him pressed close but in a slightly safer place, like he sensed how close they both were to crossing a line. He wasn’t going to be responsible for what happened if those hips rolled into his, and he couldn’t swear he'd have the sense to stop before Bucky was breathless and pleading for him.

As reluctant as he was to put any space between them, he didn’t fight him on it. That effort to clear his head was already tenuous at best. "I guess I should let you do the responsible thing." The smile he gave him had more devil than angel in it. His hand slid to his knee, safer but still wanting the contact. "Soon?" he murmured, not wanting to wait long to see him again.

--

Wanting to be reckless, to test that beautiful, already maddening self-control that Steve had was very hard not to give in to.  He already knew he would happily let Steve have whatever of him he wanted. It was ridiculous how much he wanted Steve's hands (and everything else) on him, driving him out of his mind.  

He groaned roughly at his agreement, largely wishing neither of them were actually trying to behave at least a little. "Unfortunately," he muttered. That smile sent heat coursing through him, making him want to pull out more of the devil hiding behind that angel face. "Absolutely, angel, as soon as we can," he promised, his hand sliding to his jaw, his thumb brushing lightly at his bottom lip once.

--

He pressed a soft kiss against his thumb and leaned forward to do the same to his lips, quick and sweet. "Alright. Take me home, before we both decide it's not worth it to behave," he murmured, his hand gently squeezing his knee.

It gave a tug in his chest to even suggest it. He wanted to stay with him more than was reasonable. He hadn’t been gone long enough for Ian to worry about him, but he knew the longer they stayed and tested each other's willpower, the less likely they were to walk away. It helped knowing he could see him again soon.

--

He was more than happy to lean in and meet that soft, sweet kiss. He made it impossible to not want even just that little bit from him, really, tucking it away into memory to tide him over. "That's already a very tenuous thing," he admitted with a soft groan. Behaving and willingly walking away from a man he wanted to climb like a tree who so clearly would let him was the epitome of difficult.

Letting out a slow breath that was much more like a heavy sigh, he slid himself off of Steve's lap and the bike, his feet planting on the ground on a single side. He stepped close and tipped his head to kiss him softly. "How about you drive us back to campus?" The offer was soft against his lips, the idea of getting to press against him and not worry about anything but holding on to Steve entirely too tempting to him.

--

"Trust me, I know," he chuckled softly. If he hadn’t made promises to Ian, to himself, to Bucky, he didn’t think he’d be holding back even this well. "But I also know you're worth waiting for," he added softly. He wasn’t sure how much longer either of them would be capable of that, but he wanted to do this right, whatever that meant for both of them.

He sighed softly, already regretting the loss of the warmth and weight of him so close. Being responsible had downsides that he was feeling keenly at the moment. It took everything in him not to tug him back onto his lap at that soft kiss. In answer, he slid further forward and offered him a helmet. If he wasn't sure, he wouldn’t have offered, and Steve liked the idea of caring for him just this little bit.

--

The only reason he was as well-behaved as he was, was the desire to do right by Steve. He wanted to do this right, well, and make it into something that would last. He wasn't someone he just wanted to drag into his bed for a night, he wanted so much more than that. "You're more than worth it," he agreed, knowing he'd wait however long it took. He'd hate the cold showers in the meantime, but he could do it.

He wanted to press close again, that soft kiss a test of his willpower that was already struggling. When he slid forward, he took the offered helmet and slid into place behind him. He pressed himself close to his back, one arm wrapping around him as he pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck. He'd never let anyone drive his bike before, but he already knew this was something he could get addicted to. Tugging his helmet on, his other arm wrapped around him and he happily pressed himself against him as close as was safe.

--

He liked knowing that this mattered to Bucky as much as it mattered to him, that neither of them were just in it for a night. It was getting more difficult to imagine a scenario where he wanted to walk away from him though. Even if he stayed with him tonight, he'd still want him tomorrow. He wanted to know if they were as good together in the long-term as they were right now.

He wrapped an arm over Bucky’s around his waist, a soft shiver running through him at the brush of lips. It gave him a little spike of nerves to be trusted with this, but he could admit he liked having Bucky pressed against him. When they were both settled with their helmets, he started the bike and headed back through town. He didn’t know his way around enough to take the scenic route, unfortunately, but it felt good to be driving again, better with Bucky wrapped around him.

--

Bucky would have taken a night and made it be enough if that was all Steve had shown he wanted. He wasn’t really one for that, though, despite how he could come across. Sure, he’d had his one night stands, but they always left a part of him feeling more empty than before. He had always had a deep loyal streak, a want to care for someone. He was just picky about his people. So far, he thought that Steve might be one to fill that empty space. More and more, he hoped he was.

He liked feeling that shiver, wanted to learn all the ways that he could get more of them out of him. He was content to murmur soft instructions to guide him back to campus and stay pressed close. It was officially a need, having Steve on his bike one way or another.

--

Steve had never in his life had a one night stand. It wasn’t his style at all. But he knew he would have broken that rule if it meant having Bucky. He’d known it from their first conversation. If he asked, he'd say yes, or he'd spend the rest of his life kicking himself for letting it pass him by. When life offered you something that good, it only made sense to take it.

He hadn’t allowed himself to miss riding, and now he worried he was too attached to it and to Bucky already. They arrived back on campus entirely too soon, but he guessed he would have felt that way no matter what. He parked in the drive outside his dorm which was absolutely not for long-term parking, but he didn’t trust either of them somewhere more private. He was already steeling himself for the goodbye that was coming.

--

The attachment to Steve was frighteningly quick and deep, but he didn’t feel the need to stop it or pull back. He wanted more than one night for them, and he knew he wouldn’t treat this that lightly. Never had he been less excited to see the campus looming in front of him, but he’d known it had to happen eventually.

He approved of where he parked and slid off the back of the bike, tugging off his helmet and hanging it on a handle. He didn’t trust himself to even walk him inside because he couldn’t have faith in his ability to walk away from him. Reaching over, he brushed his fingers along his arm softly.

--

He slid off the bike when Bucky did, taking off the helmet and tucking it away. He didn’t trust himself to bring him inside either. Maybe at the beginning of the night, he would have had that kind of control, but after kissing him, he knew he didn't. It had been hard enough to stop in a public place. The only way to hold himself responsible for what would happen if they put a closed door between them and the world was to not put them in that position in the first place.

Sparks raced up his arm where Bucky’s fingers brushed over it, and he reached out, fisting a hand in his shirt and tugging him gently closer. "Kiss me goodnight?" he murmured, his other hand curving along his jaw. He was pretty sure he'd be able to walk away from that much, and pretty sure he was going to risk it either way as long as Bucky was willing.

--

He hadn’t expected for Steve to test his self-control so much. Already it had been hard enough and that was in public. He wasn’t pushing it anymore tonight. At least now he knew what to brace himself for every time they were together because he highly doubted that it was going to lessen.

When his hand fisted in his shirt, he smiled slowly and slid close, his hands sliding into place on his hips. “Absolutely,” he murmured before sliding into a slow, deceptively lazy kiss that managed to hold all the same heat just tightly controlled. He couldn’t imagine letting him walk away without a goodnight kiss, at the very least.

--

That slow smile was rapidly turning in to one of his favorites. Bucky was gorgeous, smiling or not, but that one sent a shiver down his spine every time. He couldn’t help the way he melted into him, but otherwise he didn't resist the slow, controlled heat of that kiss. It took effort, but he was coming to expect that now. Bucky was always going to be a test of his willpower, probably one he was going to fail often if they kept this up.

He pressed another soft kiss to his lips before he pulled away. "Thank you, for dinner and the ride. I had a great time." He smiled, reluctantly taking his hands off him, but he was afraid if he didn’t walk away now, it would only get harder to do it. That it was easily the best date of his life up to now was something he was keeping to himself for the moment. Bucky already knew the effect he had on him.

--

He was very glad to know that Steve was just as affected as he was, otherwise he would have to do some hardcore redirecting on himself. The man tested him with the way he just melted into him and he wanted to keep him there but knew it was better for them both if he didn’t. Lightening the kiss, he smiled at the next soft one, his eyes on him as he pulled away.