#redballoonsforryan

A couple of weeks ago I began to follow an instagram account that captured my soul, she’s a bakery blogger and the mother of a beautiful child. His smile and fiery red hair made my heart melt, so much so that I began to show their pictures to everyone around me.

Today, I found out that little boy has passed away. It was shocking to say the least, however the biggest surprise of all has been the reaction of my heart. Throughout this morning my heart seems to have shriveled up to raisin size. I cannot stop thinking about him, Ryan Cruz and his wonderful mother and father, Jacqui and Dan. I have found it hard to concentrate at work, looking through the enchanting photos that made me fall in love with this family. 

My heart aches so badly I feel as though I have lost someone in my life and that goes to show the power that this marvelous child has over anyone who knew him. If I feel like this over photos, videos and stories of this boy, I can’t conceive the tremendous loss that his loved ones are feeling, I cannot begin to imagine the pain.

 I find myself reading Jacqui’s blog entries since Ryan’s passing, over and over again. Her and Dan’s strength is incredibly admirable. Nobody deserves to bury a child and I find myself asking “God, how could you let this happen?” but her words have brought peace to that question:

"Does that make sense? Who cares…Trying to make sense of things is impossible and not worth much. I’m learning to live with the pain instead of trying to make sense of it." - babyboybakery.com

I am writing this piece in memory of Ryan, his mother and father have found a beautiful way to commemorate their son, they ask us to please remember him, to spread his story. Because, though short, it has touched millions of people and that is a great way to be remembered. 

I wish Ryan’s mother, father, family and friends, peace and light during this and every moment of their lives. I know you know just how special Ryan is but know also that his life has inspired us all and in that way he continues to live, in our hearts, forever.