#recap from hell

FEATURED EXTRAS Some of you may have received a telegram announcing the Curse of the Mummy seeking Featured Extras. There was a number to call for those interested in learning more about being a Featured Extra. I made an appointment post haste -- because, well, who doesn't love "makin' pictures". The result was a private casting meeting with Gene, the director of the Curse. The elevator boy lead me to the entrance of Gallow Green Station, where Kitty took my casting information -- asking for my name, age, and special characteristics. She called a producer and asked if they were ready. She lead me to a phone booth, pulled the curtain close and asked me to read my casting number to the girl on the other line. In the darkness, I strained to look at my handwritten casting number.  As I inched closer to the light, the wall that once was behind me opened.  A sweaty, nervous looking man I'd never seen before took my hand and lead me inside to a small office.  The walls were obsessively covered in newspaper clippings and posters pertaining to The Curse of the Mummy. He spoke in a low voice ,"They told me it would be easy. They told me it would be a quick shoot..." all the while shining his flashlight on newspaper headlines proclaiming the disasters that have fallen on the production. He began coughing.  Blood. There was blood (I say). He told me we were in grave danger and hurriedly placed a blue scarab necklace around my neck. He told me to wear it at the premiere party for my protection.  And with that, I was lead out exhilarated and dazed (with just the slightest feeling of dread).

DINNER

The dinner was a delicious middle eastern affair with shared mezze and a lamb targine to die for. Speaking of death, I sat at a table with at least three undead souls, a handful archeologists and one manservant. Maximilian and Violet greeted us and were as funny as always. As we ate our "asp" dessert (and made countless asp and nuts jokes), Violet and Max raised a glass and explained that due to Violet's affair with Errol Flynn and "pulling a few strings" she and Maximilian were cast in the Curse of the Mummy. They'd never acted before but Maximilian was quite sure he would win an Oscar. The film was plagued by delays and mishaps but luckily Mr. McKittrick allowed them to film their final scene at the hotel. As we raised a glass to the undoubted success of the Curse of the Mummy, Maximilian gifted Violet with beautiful pendant taken from the tombs (er, always bad to steal from the undead) and invited all to watch the filming of the last scene and celebrate the premiere party afterwards.

THE SHOW Thanks to a secret benefactor, I was able to return to the McKittrick on Halloween. I was the worst and somehow it was one of the best shows ever. The evening started with the ever lovely Evelyn (Mallory) offering an absinthe shot at the bar prior to the show.The highlight of the evening? Aside from the ever lovely Emeri Fetzer as Agnes (girl crush), Jonathan Lyon's Malcolm (mutual staring contest - I think he won), John W. Watkins as Speakeasy (1:1 I desperately needed) and Garth Johnson as increasingly amazing Boy Witch? I saw THE UNICORN. My long awaited bucket list completer -  Ben Thys as Porter. Of course, I also managed to completely embarrass myself. As you may have suspected, I've a soft spot for the dashing Mr. Thys. In real life, I would like to think of myself as socially graceful and generally normal. However,  whenever at the McKittrick and in the presence of the dreamy Mr. Thys, I am often reduced to blushing school girl idiocy. Case in point, Halloween. I spent the majority of the evening following Ben as his new Porter character. His Porter is strange and melancholy, a recovering alcoholic and a whimsical, even comedic man when he thinks no one is looking. There were two highlights: the first, instead of giving the white mask a note for Hecate straight away, Ben Porter folded the note into a boat and, using his tie, slowly pulled the boat into his mouth where he held it between his teeth and "sailed" it from the locker room through the side office and down the hall into the ballroom.The second, Ben Porter "danced" when setting up the lobby. I've never seen such a burlesque shimmy from the Porter before.

Now for my dirty confession. I was so excited to see this Porter that I committed a 1:1 faux pas so heinous I would have slapped my ownself (had I been two people). Yes, boys and girls, I reached for his hand as he was selecting for a 1:1 -- when he was clearly offering it to another whitemask. Yes, that happened. Epic fail. Hanging my head in shame, I headed to the speakeasy bar for a much needed break. Luckily, JW Watkin's Speakeasy must have sensed my need for a drink because after his shot of whiskey I felt enough bravado to return to the lobby for more Porter viewing. The second time around, I was resigned to give up any hope of scoring an 1:1 after the premature hand-jacking attempt. Instead, I watched a bold whitemask kneel down and reach his hand towards the Porter. I was sure I was cursed. But, to my delight the Porter took pity on me and showed me to his office. 

It was here that my second shame happened. Somewhat tipsy, I got the giddy giggles. Yes, there was Ben Porter, trying to show me his darkest secret. And I, like Jimmy Fallon in an SNL skit, could not stop the incoming guffaws. I bit my lips as he painted his. I tried to stifle my laughter but that only made it worse. It was not his performance, but the sight of "my" masculine Malcolm doing something entirely un-masculine that made me crack up. I couldn't help but whisper, "so pretty," as my eyes welled up from my attempts to stop laughing. Only when he slammed his mirror did I succumb to Porter's anguish. What can I say? Sorry Ben, old chap! I laughed because I love. Oh dear, I hope I am forgiven.

PARTY 10/30 & 31 Oh the party.  Such a great party. In the Manderley, The Pharaohs, a trio of mummies, sang "In the Still of the Nile" and other doo wap songs. I always knew Jonothan Lyon had an amazing bass voice, but did you know Zach McNally had the voice to match his face? Voice of an angel, baby.

Down in the lobby, drinks were flowing and Maximilian and his side kick were filming their last scene. The director asked me to walk across the scene as a featured extra (did I mention I am wearing the blue scarab?) They do take after take. I can't help but notice another extra looking rather ill. As they shoot their 5th or 6th take, the ill-looking extra collapses and the set shuts down. A klezmer band lead us into what should have been the lobby. But the cool sand beneath our feet and a pyramid where the stage once stood told us we were no longer in the McKittrick. We were in Egypt and a woman wrapped in mummy linens began an eerie dance in the center of the sand dune. Soon the cast and crew of Curse filtered into the crowd, calling "Quiet on the Set!". It was the finale. The lights dimmed.  In the darkness, kerosene lamps illuminated Max and Violet's gorgeous faces. Max's sidekick said he was getting a bad feeling but they pushed on anyway. As they reached the mummy's tomb, Violet swore she could hear a heartbeat as Max quipped, "My heart always beats when I'm with you, kid!" Suddenly, the tomb burst open and inside, an enormous mummy and an army of smaller mummies began an undead dance. As they jerked around, the King Mummy coughed and started twitching. He shook violently, tore off his face wrappings and fell down dead. The set descended into chaos and lights began to flicker as a heavy beat pounded the dance floor. On the balcony, mummies tore into naked flesh and on stage, mummies moved malevolently on the set and in the sand. The music reached its crescendo as a bloody Violet cried out and grasped at the crowd with outstretched hands. Before anyone could save her, she was violently pulled back into the fog and strobes. A blood red light poured out onto the dance floor and a fast techno beats drowned out our cheers as the party officially began.

At some point in the evening a scantily dressed Pharaoh spied my blue scarab and grabbed my hands. "Where did you get that?" he asked. He said he knew of another place where he had seen the scarab before and pushed me through a door.  Inside was the King Mummy.  The one I'd seen die.  We danced as he sang "Just The Way You Looked Tonight."  We were having a ball until he realized I wore the scarab. I can't recall everything, but I was properly terrified.

The rest of the evenings were a blur of friends, cast and special guests. Two bonus  1:1's with evenghostandhorse's Death on the Nile and thebloodybusiness's Colonel were delights.

I am exhausted. It was a beautiful, bawdy Halloween bash and now it is time for me to sleep. Like a mummy.