#rebounding

Shout out to the gluten free chili mac from Harlow gotta be one of my favorite meals of all time. I wrote this comic before realizing I am gluten intolerant, but I loved eating it even then.

This was my first comic for Autostraddle after completing How Could You. I think you can really tell I drew a whole book! It's one of my favorite comics I made for Autostraddle.

7.9.2025.

😂😂😂 Just in case you'd like to know what your hair will look like after a rebounding workout 🤦 My body is feeling Monday and Tuesday's workouts, and paddleboarding yesterday, so I know if I skipped today I would be more sore tomorrow. I opted for an "easy" day, but my brain has no chill. I don't know why TWO short workouts equals less, but, whatever 🤷‍♀️

I did this circuit much slower than her, but I'm okay with it. I'm here to rebuild. I have to remind myself it's not a race.

I followed up with this gem of a workout on the rebounder. No talking, just prompts and good ol tribute to Cher music 😂

Familiar premise. That question ran over and over again -- covers blurbed it even -- who should Archie choose?

Or, here, who should Betty choose? Conflicted is she --

Caitlin Clark scores 29 in first post-Olympics game as Fever threaten playoff place #AliyahBoston #assists

Caitlin Clark’s 29 points, 10 assists lead Fever to 98-89 win Indiana dominated early, held off Mercury’s third-quarter rally Fever’s strong paint presence, rebounding, secured season sweep Caitlin Clark had 29 points and 10 assists Friday night in Indianapolis, helping the Indiana Fever build a comfortable lead early and hold off the Phoenix Mercury for a 98-89 win. It was the Fever’s…

It wasn't until the last few months I realized how negatively this rebound had impacted my life. She was the perfect person to try romantic friendship with, but we soon came to realize, after I would try with a few others as well, that romantic friendships are incredibly difficult to actually pull off and your better off just avoiding them.

7/16/21:

This one is to my rebound. Which I didn't even know rebounding was a thing until about 4 months ago. What a fool. I started talking to you about two months after the breakup. Which yes, was too soon considering I didn't even start grieving yet. You definitely place 2nd in relationships which have caused me the most emotional turmoil. Of course you will never know this or read this because we talked about this beforehand and we knew the consequences, I knew the consequences, and you don't deserve to deal with them now or to feel guilt for what I have felt. 

You're a very honest woman, thanks, I can't thankyou enough for that- you dont know how fucking sick I am of dishonest people. And by dishonest people I mean that crush (fuck her) and a couple of rude “friends.” But damn, you shattered me over and over again. I definitely went out of my comfort zone for you, I did a lot for you actually. staying over the 2nd time we hung out outside of our usual place of interaction. You were the only person I had got a Christmas present for last year. I tried to wear the things you liked, the smells and textures. I brought over snacks you liked. I always bought you lunch. I had an awesome three month doing this with you, seeing you every week. Looking forward to it, thinking about you all the time, enjoying the first stages of love- infatuation. Recreating my favorite memory with you. Forever a memory of a specific atmosphere and smell will be attached to you.

You see, you're a very troubled woman, but the way that you allowed me to help you made me feel so valuable. The way you held onto me after reliving a flashback or waking up from a night terror. Knowing that you would have nearly sleepless nights, except when I was there and you would sleep like a baby. That made me feel incredibly valuable. Then we finally talked about the terms, and what we were. I thought I could just give my heart out and get one back just like I had done before, but this time I had one condition which stopped you from giving it all. Which is completely reasonable, but I had already given mine. And we kept seeing each other because we liked the attention. We liked the love.

 But slowly you withdrew because you didn't want to be broken hearted again because we both knew the inevitable of what I wanted, or at least what I thought I wanted. If not what I wanted, then what our circumstances would have forced us to come to. Now here is the shitty part though, you still kept the door open, you still allowed me to keep trying. Because you didn’t know what you wanted, and you were scared of hurting me, but in the process I ended up just getting hurt more over a longer period of time. You would give a little bit of attention here and there and that was enough to make me think you'd still want something. But outside of that I was completely deprived of attention from you. Not only deprived me of it, but freely gave it to others too. And holy shit did that hurt the most. Because although we would say that we didn't have to be exclusive, or that we were just friends, our feelings and actions said something different. You always tried to pose jealousy as some sort of “covetousness, greed.” But it’s more complicated than that. Jealously can also root from insecurity about ones worth.

 You didn't even know what you did wrong, you called me up and you seriously asked what did I do? You were so used to living a life with no relational boundaries with all of your friends (turns out I wasn’t that special) that you weren't even aware you shattered me. It only took you 3 hours to realize I was gone, I'll give you that, but then to add the cherry on top you were all like "i miss you here and want you here" and etc and etc and gave me that hope that I was special to you. It seems like it was inevitable that that night would have been the first time I would get intoxicated, whether it was with you or the only friend’s house that was nearby that I decided to go to after what you did in front of me. Coincidentally they had planned to drink for the first time, the same night I was at a party with this woman. 

We would then go on for several months to play this game of deprived attention. Where I would love her when I was with her and she would give me tiny bits of affection here and there, just enough to keep me going. While feeding me this bullshit about how my values are actually arbitrary bullshit no more valid than any other values, while giving into my thoughts about how I was the problem in my last relationship, while giving into my doubts about myself and my methods of life. All of this I freely accepted because, well it turns out I moderately loved you, which I never said because love is a very heavy word for me, but that's how I acted and that's what I felt.  And so I accepted your opinion as truth. Not because I thought it was valid but just because I lowkey worshipped you.