#really hate them

Okay, not Ray, he’s too precious.

And I guess Mikey really hasn’t done anything wrong either.

But Gerard? Fair game. You just know that he’s the one coming up with all this stuff, teasing us, being all cryptic and dramatic. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

They are useless and ugly and only good for one day out of the year. They absorb -3% of the shit you’re trying to wipe up to the point that the liquid just gets MOVED AROUND. If I needed a napkin to tell me what the fuck I’m sitting there celebrating, I don’t deserve to be celebrating it.

u want a pretty napkin?? use cloth.

u want an absorbent napkin????? use a regular fukcing napkin.

u want BOTH???????? ROLL THE FUCKING ABSORBENT NAPKIN INSIDE THE FANCY ONE JESUS CHRIST