#real tealk

I don't think I need a piece of art to be reaching for perfection to like it.

Like...I saw some people criticizing Something Is Knocking At Your Door/VerityTM for plot inconsistency—which is justified.

I truly can see what people mean...and yet the imperfection makes me like the work even more.

Ok, um, follow me in mind.

A French YouTuber called Seb once explained in a video that sometimes during the montage, he likes keeping typos because it just makes his craft feel more real, more human.

And...I like that.

I like that imperfection can embody realness and...human imperfection as something that shouldn't be avoided but embraced.

I particularly like the idea that it just goes against reason. Reasonably, you should avoid typos in order to make your work more presentable, according to, idk, appropriateness. But Seb keeping typos and people still finding his work compelling means to me that...art doesn't need to be reasonable to be appreciated. It can be what we often oppose to reason: affective. It can just feel right instead of being right.

And I know, it looks like I'm reinventing the wheel by saying art just has to make you feel something, but I do believe that art that isn't appropriate according to certain standards suddenly loses its capacity (or rather its acceptability) to be enjoyed regardless of these standards.

You feel me?

I often say: "I could've done better, but it would've been less well".

I am terribly disorganized, but I love making art. I write. And I love what I do. And my art is profoundly imperfect: I cannot stick to a schedule or a plan for my life, or follow the rules of dialogue (I don't like writing "she/they/he said" so I ditch that part entirely). But I love what I do. And I don't think I'd like it the same if I did it in a way deemed more proper. And I don't think the people who do enjoy my art would have enjoyed it either.

What I mean is that imperfection, beyond being an aesthetic choice or a position regarding art, that I love, makes me truly and actively enjoy art more. I genuinely find imperfection beautiful, entertaining, artistic, in a way I found someone even more beautiful because they have big ears, or a crooked nose, or a gap between their teeth, or anything commonly and/or societally deemed as imperfect in the Western world. Yet I have two eyes to see, and a heart beating, and a brain, and an amygdala, and hormones, and they're all working together to make me feel that, irrespective of what I have been taught, I, in fact, do find those traits attractive.

Not passively and subconsciously. Actively and consciously.

That is ever more compelling when those traits are featured society taught me to hate on me or my people: kinky hair, flat nose, darker skin...and then I see those traits irl, and I'm like "wait...but we are so beautiful".

To return to sikayd, the fact that I still don't know how death works, if both ThatMob and Twixxel died irl, or the fact that the voices aren't made by professionals (except for Verity done by JustWhispy who is at least an aspiring VA) but Twitch friends who sometimes sounds like they're reading, or the fact that the story wasn't always uniform...yeah, it makes me love the movie even more.

Not in spite of it. Because of it.

Not just in a "it makes it feel more real". In a true and genuine "I would've liked it a little less if everything had been explained; I would've liked it a little less if everybody sounded like a professional voice actor; I would've liked it a little less if it was more coherent; I would've liked it a little less if it was more polished".

I love not knowing what is going on with death in this world. And I love how ThatMob, JustWhispy, Twixxel, and Grox sound. And I love that I went through several emotions through one watching.

Real talk.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.