#read18

No one knew who he was. No one knew where he came from. He'd become Kaz Brekker, cripple and confidence man, bastard of the Barrel.

“we weren't sherlock holmes and john watson. I was ok with that, I thought. we had things they didn't, too. like electricity, and refrigerators. and mario kart.”

“there is a small monster in my brain that controls my doubt. the doubt itself is a stupid thing, without sense or feeling, blind and straining at the end of a long chain. the monster though, is smart. It's always watching, and when i am completely sure of myself, it unchains the doubt and lets it run wild. even when i know it's coming, i can't stop it. ”

“when you're brave and honest, you make it easier for the next person.”

“she was elusive. she was today. she was tomorrow. she was the faintest scent of the cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl. we did not know what to make of her. in our minds we tried to pin her to a corkboard like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew”

“i’m not better than friends. i need better friends. i want friends who are all it, all the time. it can’t be all on your terms. you have to care, care about more than just yourself”

The answer to this question was something Yael had to fight for. Her self-reflection was no reflection at all. It was a shattered mirror. Something she had to piece together, over and over again. Memory by memory. Loss by loss. Wolf by wolf.