#re-wiring

Just off a call from a close friend who is in Tasmania a young person studying para medicine and such a delightful call sharing the updates on creating a Manifestation Wheel taught to her by Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha.

 When it comes to breaking the habit of being yourself, particularly when you’re in the same environment and have associative memories with all that’s going on around, tools are so helpful.

 As Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha often reminds us, “Knowing yourself is true wisdom.”

In this case the Manifestation Wheel was used to write and feel how each day is. Written in present tense it includes having the courage to speak up when things can be done/said better, being delighted by the day and had a description of the waking up, described in detail, how the alarm goes off and the room, and the feelings, the attitude towards the lectures (same room the same lectures) and responding differently from a new view point – this is how is the chemistry differently.

 Creating a new version of you included that awareness to have the courage to look to see what would be different in oneself what is to let go off. The simple one I’ve been looking at today and the last week is stopping the chemical release of adrenaline and fear about imagined sharks when swimming in deep water or off the side of a boat. Coming from Australia knowing there are some shark attacks, not many though, I have had a fear of ‘sharks’ more a fear of the unknown - if there’s something that can’t be seen then it may be harmful – an imagined shadow, a re-run of some suspense film section of You-tube!

 Now currently in Aqua blue to turquoise crystal clear water in Turkey where even if there is a shark, it’s a foot or less long and not interested in me. So, a great place to work on the catching the first thought:

 “I wonder what is over there, or under me, or … I feel the chemistry want to dash and swim fast to the ladder, sometimes I do!  Then where there I stay hanging on the edge – stop that chemistry, breath and push slowly back off the ladder back into the blue.  My mask looking down there is blue on blue – so many little particles that the light is scattered. Not so clear here – but sooo blue.  Light dances seemingly up from the unseen bottom.  The words rise again: I’m out here in a big space by myself quickly swim back to the ladder and get on the yacht”. Stopping these imaginings of an undesirable world and internal chemistry.  Living according to my biochemistry so that which I imagine is as powerful as that which I experience. So why not imagine (and in this case match it to the reality here) of swimming in turquoise blue warm water with the dancing of the light as I look through the mask and snorkel.  Breath, breath. Long exhale – beautiful.

 “What we seek we find. In our thinking we can validate anything to make us right, we alone determine that.” -Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha

 When we can find one of these very tangible experiences (an anxiety arising from a known set of triggers) it can be a good one to work with. Changing thoughts and thus feelings can be like moving the flow of water from one creek line but it is engraved to another it takes first the observing that there is something to change. The courage to change it. Knowing what it looks like when different, what that can look like, feel like, taste like.

 Implementing the tools that enable the halting of that thought feeling sequence move to the new one that you’re creating.  Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha reminds us, “When you can be with yourself and go deep within, you can find all of the answers you need. Take time for yourself to get out of the craziness of the world and get into the realness of yourself.”

 The conversation with the person in Tasmania was also around housewarming gift of ceramic plates that she had given to someone recently.  The recipient, a young fellow and first share house renting, said all they’re so good I’ll use them for special occasions.  Another of their friends echoed this concept of putting things away.  Then there was also the view point if the sun has arisen that day this is a very good occasion. Knowing that every day is full life as shared by Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha.  Every day we can start with new foundations and a new operating system re-creating the best of You – who you really are before the layers were added, for the ways of being the best version of You.

 Geraldene Dalby-Ball

Elaway De’Ye’Ng Li’ta

It’s been a while since I have done this but I just need to get some things out..... this might be a long one....

For almost 3 years I have been with someone. I thought he was the one in a sea of many other “the ones”. But really, he was the only one I really saw myself having a family with. Wasn’t ever really interested in having kids before. The idea of spitting children out of my body and then raising little clones of myself terrified me, but with him it seemed possible. It seemed less scary and I was optimistic about the idea. Well, I’ll try to make this as brief as possible since I have more than 3 years to cover here. I moved out about a month ago. The living situation with each other wasn’t ideal and I just couldn’t do it anymore. To add more to that we would get into arguments and when that happened he would say things to hurt me. Things he knew that would hurt me like suggesting that we should break up and things of that nature. It happened twice before. He would say we need to break up; he was immovable on the subject; I’d cry, go to my friends house where she would console me and tell me it’s for the best. I would also start telling myself it’s for the best and really get used to the idea that it was over only for him to text me or call me and tell me that he didn’t mean it. To come back. We’ll work on it. I forgave him those two times. I didn’t want to be broken up with him. Well, it happened a third time, only this time he told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore. That stung. That was worse than just breaking up because I can’t do anything to fix that. After that was said, I hopped into my truck, I ran some errands, had a pretty shitty day and broke down. Later on he did exactly what he had always done: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it. We’ll work on it.”

   I’m mad. I’m still mad about that. My heart has been so blocked up since he told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore and even more so when I realized to what extend he is willing to go to hurt me. I knew that he had a manipulative side when he wanted certain results but to just sink that ship for no good reason? I was glad I moved out if not because of the undesirable living situation but just because I couldn’t stand being around him. I still loved him but I really, really didn’t like him. 

After I moved out, that’s when I started kind of trying again. Doing the whole “wooing” thing. This sort of opened up another can of worms for me because we have already been together for almost 3 years, and we’ve known each other for 10 years. I just moved out because he doesn’t seem to want to commit to me at all and because he’s a big manipulative jerk. I kept telling myself, “Well... he’s trying. That’s admirable.” At the same time I was also asking myself, “Is it too late for trying, though?” I’m still asking myself that. 

Tonight, though, I decided I wanted to make more of an effort. I’ve been giving him nothing but the cold shoulder since I left and something inside of me (the mushy, feel-y side of me) sorta emerged for the first time in a month.  I was on my way home from my friends house and I decided to drive by his house to see if he was home from work yet since I know he went in earlier in the morning. I was going to surprise him but his car wasn’t in the drive way. I texted him asking him if he was still working and that one of these days we’ll see each other again. He started texting me back maybe an hour later saying he was now driving home from work. Yada yada yada. Long story short, I didn’t end up seeing him. He went to go hang out with his cousins at Buffalo Wild Wings. I asked him if he wanted to stop by my place to say hi since he was in the area, after he was done, he said yeah, but I figured he would be there a while and I was already starting to fall asleep since I had a long exhausting day. But this is the thing that bothered me the most about our text conversation.... On 3 occasions I told him that I loved him and not once did he reciprocate. I know how girly and paranoid that sounds but it really is quite disheartening. I think I give up.

To tell you the truth, I feel like I’ve lost that something that made me me. I haven’t really felt like the real me in a long time and I think it’s because of my relationship with him. He’s stressful. He puts a lot of pressure on me to be different and to make more money. He doesn’t understand my anxiety and depression issues and just tells me to suck it up whenever I have some kind of “episode”. In fact, recently, I checked my rest heart rate on my Fitbit and it has gone down by at least 10 points since I haven’t been living with him. If you can imagine, my resting heart rate while I was living with him was averaging 91BPM. 91 resting heart rate! I’ve now gone down to an average of 78BPM. 

I haven’t really been all that creative, either. I’ve stopped writing. I’ve stopped painting. I’ve stopped doing stupid little crafts that serve no purpose and will never see the light of day. I think it’s because of him. He’s very critical. He often points out the negatives of something before even thinking of the positives if he can find any. A lot of times I would keep any of my little projects to myself and do it when he wasn’t home or looking because I just didn’t want to hear what he had to say about it. 

But with all the negatives I have listed and the ones I haven’t I knew at one point he did love me and most of the time the only way he knew how to show it was to make sure I had somewhere to live and was safe. 

Safety in Electricity Use

The amount of electric current flowing through the wires sometimes may tend to shift up or down depending on the circumstances. When high current passes on to the thin wires in your house, they may result in melting, which may have disastrous effects such as causing electrical fires. However, thanks to the discovery of the fuse, this danger has been significantly reduced. When current above the recommended amount passes through the fuse, it ends up blowing and therefore, breaks the circuit. This in turn stops the flow of current which would otherwise destroy all the appliances connected to the electrical circuits in the house.

Once a fuse blows, for you to continue using electrical devices in your house, you need to replace the blown fuse with a new one. Before you start on the process, for your own safety and that of your stuff inside the house, you need to switch off every apparatus that is connected to the current including the light bulb. If you are working in a dark area, you need to have a flashlight on the handy so that you see well what you are doing. In addition, if you are working on the fuse while using a ladder, you should ensure that it is set up away from overhead power lines and someone should hold it steady for you to prevent accidents.

Another important tip to keep in mind in safe electricity use, is that as you disconnect appliances from the electrical devices, always pull the plug and not the cord.  These cords should also never be kept near heat or water as a naked live wire can react dangerously with the two. For the same reason, when using electric lawn mowers, grass should only be cut when it’s dry. In addition, cords should not be placed under the carpets or through doorways to prevent accidents.

Dear Appa, Remember you always wanted to get a Tata Nano and all of us discouraged you from buying it :). Well, yesterday we went and got the Eureka Forbes’ Nano vacuum cleaner and I wanted to let you know that “a” Nano comes home – it’s not the car, but it’s very cute and shaped like the car.  In fact as you know, we are re-doing the house that you built three decades back and yes we are giving…

What happens in the server room …

… stays in the server room :-)

We’ve been upgrading some of the infrastructure at FMPSD District Office.

https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/j9G2pb1FRlU?rel=0