I’m so sad that scaredy’s gone :(

A’Whora Season Two

The most unfair elimination of this season. He deserved to finish top 2 with Bimini.

I’m so sorry Scaredy, I did this to you by liking you, this always happens

So I won’t say aloud who I’m currently rooting for, lest the same curse befall them

Episode Two’s mini challenge was the most blatant attempt at stirring up drama that I’ve ever seen on a reality show and I did not appreciate it. Plus, also, it was so, so uncomfortable to watch British contestants do. It wouldn’t have been a problem on an American episode but we just... don’t do stuff like that. Modesty is kind of our national sport - you don’t say you’re better than other people, you passive aggressively show it and then deny it when asked. Note how even when the queens are being up themselves it’s always with a slight tinge of irony.

Liked Episode One’s photoshoot though

The hometown runway was a really good theme idea, and they did a fantastic job

I grew up just outside of Essex, and Cheryl’s look was spot on

And I currently live in Birmingham, so I loved Sum Ting’s look out of pure hometown loyalty. And also because it was brilliant

Though I totally disagree that the Bullring is the most iconic thing in Birmingham. It’s just a tall, kind of ugly shopping centre. I’d probably pick Old Joe clock tower, or maybe the library (it looks ridiculous, but inside it’s unexpectedly gorgeous - could probably work a metaphor out of that)

CBBC live tweeting it is the best thing that has ever happened in this country ever

I know the BBC can’t afford to give big expensive prizes and has its whole advertising and licensing rules. And the Ru Peter Badges are cute. But what would have been funnier would be if they had just struck up some deals and gave away really shit prizes. You win 200 Nectar Points. A 16-25 railcard. A World Book Token. Five free Tesco Meal Deals. A CompareTheMarket Baby Oleg plush toy, simples

Having this air at the same time as The Apprentice has made me realise I need a show where Michelle Visage and Karren Brady sit down together and watch people fail miserably at things. A Visage and Brady Total Wipeout commentary track

I know everyone’s saying it, but PLEASE let someone do Tracy Beaker for Snatch Game, PLEASE

I don’t know if anyone else is feeling this way, and maybe this will change, but to me it’s clear that this is still an American show made by and for Americans

It feels... tourist-y. Of the five looks/challenges, not counting last night’s mini, only one actually felt like it had been planned show off actual British culture, and it was the hometown one, which was why I liked it so much

To be clear, I am not a hardcore patriot by any stretch of the imagination (if I was, I probably wouldn’t have this complaint actually, that type will eat up anything with a Union Jack on it), I just feel like we’re missing out on some of really cool cultural stuff

Like... the Queen? It’s Americans that like the Royal Family (and old ladies, hardcore patriots, and bitchy Daily Mail readers, none of whom are really part of the Drag Race demographic), most of us either don’t care or outright resent them (it relates to class culture being very different here to in the US, but that’s a whole other thing)

I know it seems obvious, but honestly when I heard Drag Race UK my first thought was that they’d start with something panto themed -  panto isn’t exactly drag culture but it could have been a good way to sell the show to British audiences who hadn’t watched the American show by starting them with something familiar. It’s been getting mainstream advertising, they’re clearly trying to widen the net

Downton Abbey? I mean yeah, fine, but I don’t think it’s nearly as iconic to British audiences as it is to Americans. You know what would have been amazing? HORRIBLE HISTORIES, imagine. The main BBC3 audience is just the right age to love and watch that even if they’re not Drag Race fans

(They’d never do that under any circumstances but I can dream)

It’s not at all bad that they’re doing stuff that’s more accessible to an international audience, it does make sense and I don’t want it to be incomprehensible to outsiders by any means - but like I say, I feel like we’re missing out on some potentially neat stuff by only really doing tourist UK. Much as I hate... everything that’s going on right now, and much as I absolutely despise the awful parts of my country’s cultural attitudes (of which there are many), the good parts of British culture are ridiculous and absurd and stupid and fun - in other words, they’re perfect for this show

Actually, I know what it is that’s bothering me. They’re doing challenges based on what Americans think British culture is like. It would be like if I went to the US and made a season where the photoshoot was set in a McDonald’s and the first runway challenge was to dress up in fat suits while toting a gun as an accessory - sure it’s based on a kernel of truth, but it is ultimately just lazy stereotyping 

At least the queens are all doing real UK, as you’d expect, which has been consistently delightful - a very good cast

Ooh look at me I’m whinging and whining because a reality show isn’t representing my first world country exactly how I wanted it to what a huge terrible problem this was definitely worth all the time I spent writing this my life is very hard

Didn’t do one of these last week because I was frankly very tired and couldn’t be arsed. I’m sure that was to the disappointment of exactly no one

I liked last week’s episode, if anyone does care. Sad to see Crystal go

So this week it’s Drag Race does The Apprentice? Excellent. I watch that show too - apparently next week they have to rebrand the NATION OF FINLAND, I have never been more excited for an episode of reality tv in my life

Also based on the trailer one of the teams is doing their rebrand from, of all things, a pride angle, which I’m sure will be handled tactfully and with all due respect

Sorry, right, anyway - Drag Race

Blu is such a little shitstirrer

Baga’s Divina-appreciation confessional was sweet

So much drama so early on damn

Baga hiding behind the clothes rack is actually everything I love her

Ahhhh the ‘excuse to have ostensibly handsome men take their trousers off and film close ups of their arses and other body parts’ mini-challenge, I was wondering when you’d be showing up

I love that they’re all like ‘…can’t believe the BBC’s letting them do this’ because tbh neither can I

I adore that Cheryl is applying logic to this

The prize is… a phone call with Katya? I mean, that’s cool and all, Katya’s good, but is the BBC really so cheap that ‘you get to talk to one of our friends’ is the kind of prize they’re reduced to?

Why am I asking that, of course they are. I’m actually shocked they’d pay international call rates

Also it’s very funny to me that they’d talk about the history of and play a game named after the BBC, a channel that famously doesn’t have adverts, on an advert challenge week

Cheryl! Go for Essex! I grew up on the Essex border, went to school with a bunch of lovely Essex girls, and I promise you, they never stop being funny

I feel really bad for her tbh :(

‘That sounds gross’ same

‘This waters going to get her rehydrated’ ‘HA HA HA HA’ what’s the joke? am I missing something?

Cheryl reacting to Cheryl was the sweetest

Never say arse again please Ru thanks

I am already bored of the Divina/Vivienne drama

Love Blu’s hair

‘My face is my prop’

I also love Cheryl’s hair, and her outfit too. Kinda reminds me of my old figure skating dresses

Aww Blu :(

Hi… Divina… what are you doing?

Man. Now I really fancy a battered sausage and chips

Oh dude Katya’s actually here and I love her outfit? Nice

‘How do I win?’, Divina asks someone who has never won

Ahhh so today’s Definitely Organic Sad Backstory Sharing and Emotional Lesson Moment is about the Dangers of Drug and Alcohol Abuse

Not to diminish what Vivienne said. She’s right, and that’s a damn hard to situation to get out of, massive well done to her and best wishes

Is Ru’s outfit a reference to something? It looks like one but I don’t recognise it

Awwwww Cheryl on the runway <3

Baga’s giving me panto dame vibes

Meanwhile Blu’s channeling Scaredy

These looks are all so good, damn

Uhh these green screens in Divina’s ads are. Unfortunate. But the advert itself is quite cute

Awww Cheryl and Cheryl, so, so sweet <3 <3 <3

Her ad is also cute. If a bit Apprentice

I want an Apprentice/Drag Race crossover episode for like, Comic Relief, or something. I think the queens would actually be better at it than most of the candidates

Ahaha I like that Baga’s ad had a little callback to episode 2

The trajectory when Viv throws the baby, I swear these green screens

Blue Hydration is the best name. Unfortunately it’s also the worst advert

But I don’t mean that it was bad - these were all way better than the ads usually are on this show, like honestly Blu would win against some of the stuff we’ve seen in other years advert challenges. It’s just the others were better

I find Cheryl loving girl groups very endearing, tbh. Love a fangirl

AHAHA NO, BAGA, DON’T ADMIT THAT IT’S LIKE YOU’RE BEGGING FOR IT

I don’t want any of them to go, I like them all

Viv wins to the shock of no one

Guess the producers didn’t let Ru know about Baga not knowing the song in time

Have I ever mentioned that the pre-lip sync music gives me massive Danganronpa vibes?

I would not want to be Blu in this situation, considering the song they’ve got

Adorable that all the queens at the back are mouthing along too

That was my favourite lip sync of the season so far

And purely based on it, I also agree with the decision, much as I like Blu. Really going to miss her

MAKEOVER CHALLENGE MAKEOVER CHALLENGE

AND WHAT A THEME

Final four... it’s gone so fast... which reminds me, I have deadlines fast approaching that I’ve been ignoring. Should probably go work on that