#rbsb

@caninescreations made a fantastic visual representation:

Stan: dead

Also, in bsb, how long can Stan wear that sweater before it needs to get washed? And will he try to wear it longer.

Vampires, being undead, don't tend to be very human-byproduct-producing (sweat, oils, mucus, the like) to start with. Stan, being a sire-less vampire who's ghost-adjacent, gets a cheat in that as long as he's properly fed his physical body stays "clean", like a body that's been recently prepared for burial.

All that to say that, unless someone gets the sweater dirty via outside means, it just plain won't get dirty. Which means that sweater ain't coming off 'till someone forces him out of it.

"But Stan, it's the middle of the summer! You'll get heatstroke!" Yeah well he doesn't have blood circulation. Don't worry about it.

As for RBSB… Hoo boy. You and I did decide that, as opposed to Stan's Anguished Loneliness, Ford's temperament would be more like Anguished Outrage, which means the things that trigger his vampiric thirst differ a little bit.

For the sake of the hypothetical, we'll say that: 1) in college, Fiddleford never found out that Ford was a vampire, so he never becomes a hunter or gets enthralled, 2) ford "encouraged" stan to pursue a degree track in unusualogy (with a minor in Phlebotomy to facilitate the development of Bloodstitute(tm)), 3) they moved to Gravity Falls after graduation so Ford can study all the Weirdness there and Stan can help him, and 4) Ford doesn't learn the lesson of "maybe don't treat my brother like a juice box"; all this so that he doesn't accidentally end up with that well-meaning-but-unintentionally-evil vampire den in the woods like we said he probably would, lmao. [Also, I'm pretty sure Stan would just finish refurbishing the Stan O' War instead of tearing it apart to make a travel-sized coffin, and then just hitch that to his car on a boat trailer. Give his brother something he can move around in, y'know?]

I can imagine him trying to hold his temper at first, trying to remind himself that Dipper and Mabel aren't aware of the full picture and that they think he's responsible for whatever is plaguing the town. But he's not… the most patient person in the world. Finding out they moved his grave off the property, stole the deed to the [his] house, and revoked his invitation to a home that was built for him all press the "I'm being Denied what's supposed to be Rightfully Mine" button pretty hard. So when they refuse to let him in [and he even said PLEASE], he maybe gets a little yell-y. He maybe paces around the house, seething at every closed window and door. He maybe calls out for his brother, who's supposed to have his back 100% of the time, all day every day, as promised, and doesn't get an answer. Ford, who at this point is very used to getting his way, gets aggro about it.

[Stan, of course, the catalyst for this event, is laid up in bed because he can't muster the strength to get up. Dipper and Mabel don't even really need to restrain him- they just pile a bunch of blankets on him, put on some soothing old-timey jazz, and ring the tiny window and the frame of the door with garlands of garlic bulbs and flowers. Stan still tries to grumble and get up, but the dude's spent forty years as an on-tap snack. He ain't gettin' up.]

Depending on if Soos has imprinted on Stan in this timeline, I can see it going a couple ways:

If Soos is available, he'd probably be able to get Ford calmed down enough to facilitate an actual conversation, like with Stan. He'd distract Ford by completing non-"get-in-the-house"-type activities that still act as mood improvers, like dragging Ford's grave back onto the property [please visualize with me Ford sitting in the passenger's seat of Soos's beat-up truck, seething and drooling and looking very much like a vampire about to maul someone, and Soos is just cheerily hitching the Stan O' War up to his truck, whistling as he sits in the driver's seat and tugs it out of the woods again, covered in like. Broken branches and leaf detritus and such]. Ford and Soos wouldn't be as close as Stan and Soos are in regular BSB, so there's also the afforded protection of "not technically family" that would keep Ford from feeling entitled to Soos' blood like he does Stan's. Ford learns the "brother ≠ juicebox" lesson by focusing on his intellect during this extremely trying time and thinking through the "why the hell are my niece and nephew so afraid of me when I haven't done anything wrong" logic train. [Overcompensation time, yayyy! His vocabulary becomes 50% long-winded apologies to his brother. Stan's constant, "It's Literally Okay, Don't Worry About It" placations don't improve this, because he's been saying that for years and he was obviously lying! It takes Stan admitting that maybe it did kinda sorta suck (ha) for him as a dude under heavy vampiric thrall for like 40 years for Ford to accept that he means it when he says, "don't worry"]

If there's no Soos, Ford's stuck outside until Stan is able to muster enough energy to get up, get downstairs, and let him in himself. Ford also learns the lesson here, but more dramatically, because Stan's getting to that door looking like he's a deep breath from keeling over while Dipper and Mabel are screaming and crying and trying to drag him backwards so he can't go outside. Maybe Stan collapses as he's opening the door but before he can let Ford in again verbally, and Ford has to stand outside, furious and terrified because his brother isn't getting up or talking, and his niece and nephew are pointing weapons at him, and this isn't how things are supposed to go!!! He was supposed to have a good summer where he showed them the wonders of Gravity Falls, and all the cool weird things there were!! And they were supposed to be impressed by it, and think he was cool, and want to hang out with him and learn more! But they're scared of him. They think he's dangerous. And- and maybe he is. Oh, god, he is dangerous. Look at his brother- look at what he did to his brother!

Haha, that would be WILD, wouldn't it? Anyways, I've got to get this stock pot full of unidentifiable chunks down to my kitchen to finish cooking- OH GOD. OH IT'S BEEN SPILLED ALL OVER THE FLOOR. OH NO. OH JESUS, THE W.I.P., IT'S EVERYWHERE--

Condemnant Quod Non Intellegunt

"Sweet sarsaparilla, Stanley, you're still at it?" Fiddleford gaped as he returned to their shared dorm, struggling to get the mesh net of clothes he had through the narrow door. "It's Saturday night, and you've been up since five. Did you even go outside at all today?"

you know, ford wasn't sure about the vampire thing at first but it's really working out for him! he's a cool supernatural creature and his brother is finally putting a little effort into his studies and they're gonna get to the top of the world and nothing bad is ever going to happen and stan is going to Make Up For His Mistakes No Matter What, just like he promised, and ford's going to Help Him because he's Such a Good Brother

Oh god, even Stan's sense of style is being affected :( ford!! Ford you're mangling Stan's personality! Stan can't express himself or do what he wants anymore! Ford!