Cinnamon
Art by: @jell-obeans
Author: @theonceoverthinker
Summary:Â What starts out as a simple apple picking trip for Emma Swan takes an unexpected twist when she discovers that the nice connection sheâs finding between herself and the farmâs owner Killian Jones might be something more profound and, for Emma, terrifying than she bargained for. Emma then finds herself on a journey that pulls her between her own insecurities, her growing feelings for Killian, and the very will of Mother Nature itself. Can Killian truly be the apple of her eye or will the worms of Emmaâs past keep her from taking that first bite?
Rating: G (Nothing of an equivalence to a trigger)
A/N: I want to give a couple of shoutouts.
First, to my beta, @lassluna. I canât even begin to tell you what your tireless work on this story meant to me. Whenever I needed you, you were on our Google Doc ready to work. Youâre an amazing beta â catching things before I could all the time. You were incredibly supportive and I felt that you were always working with me because you believed in my story and my writing. And your help with the story itself canât be overstated. Honestly, there were times where I didnât think I could finish this story, but knowing that I was doing it for you kept me going. Working with you was a privilege and I hope it was even a tenth of that for you.
Second, to my artist, @jell-obeans. Not only did you take on making me a piece at the last second, but you completely captured the tone I was going for. Your artwork presents a relaxed and casual sense of intimacy between Emma and Killian, and thatâs exactly what I wanted my piece to offer for my readers. Thereâs a nice use of earthy autumn colors and the setting of the artwork gives off a nice sense of closeness. Finally, that Monopoly board and the tea box give a great sense of detail that I just love. Itâs freakinâ gorgeous and I canât thank you enough for all of your hard work.
Finally, a note to my readers. Thank you for taking the time to read this piece. When someone puts together a work and takes the time to painstakingly make sure that it delivers an experience thatâs in its own way original, entertaining, and personal, itâs such a cool thing when that work is actually seen. So trust when I express my appreciation to you for giving me that, and I hope that âCinnamonâ can delight and warm your soul in return.
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Upstate New York was truly something to see.
Around every corner Emma turned, she saw acres and acres of trees that cascaded along the landscape like snow piled onto a mountain. Every single one of those trees had the warm colors of autumn, and on their own, theyâd be beautiful enough â Emma had certainly seen plenty of them on their own â but together, they melded and practically terraformed the steep inclines they rested on into a place she wouldnât have minded getting lost in one day.
It was her first time to this part of the country. Sheâd been to New York, but it was always to the city on a job. This may has well have been a different state. Whereas New York City was an urban jungle â not without its greenery, but mostly sectioned-off greenery â Hudson was a dense forest with towns and road in the spaces between it. It moved alongside the land, and that made for a more difficult, but also more beautiful drive.
But among all the beautiful aspects of the countryside, again, none stood out more that those trees.
Thatâs actually what had brought her up here today.
Her friend Regina had bought the apples that contained the seeds of what would become a magnificent tree that was so very similar to those now on the other side of Emmaâs window many years ago. Regina had always wanted a big apple tree in her yard, and she told Emma that when she first tasted the fruit of this one particular apple only available at this one particular farm, she knew it had to be that one. After trying one of the apples from the bags Regina had brought home, Emma had to agree.
Regina spent months trying to plant it before finally consulting a gardener â one Robin Locksley. Together â by Reginaâs insistence together â they worked the land. As they worked, Regina began to swear to Emma that she was smelling marigolds all day long. Sheâd joke about him probably keeping seeds in his pockets.
It didnât take long afterwards to realize what had happened. Regina had to ask Robin to be sure, but indeed, Robinâs favorite scent was those of marigolds.
When it came to the matter of the heart, everyone knew what it meant when you smelled someoneâs favorite scent whenever you were in their presence. The world they lived in was by no means magical, but this was one truth that persisted throughout time that science could grant no other explanation. At the dawn of this realization, first recorded in journals from the Renaissance, the concept was thought to be a myth, but it was granted solidification as a fact through time and repetition.
Regina had found her soulmate.
Emma recalled Regina telling the story perfectly. Robin had laughed when she told him, but only at the fact that the pervasive smell of apples wasnât just because of their efforts to grow the tree. The rest took care of itself. With their love secured, finally, not one, but two things grew. The first was Reginaâs tree and the second was a love that was just as strong as the bark below the sunrise-colored leaves.
After a few years, the tree began to falter in its fruits. The apples lost their firmness and batch after batch became more inedible than the last. Regina and Robin had meant to go back to the same farm where Regina first got those apples. That was the plan.
But then life happened.
Time slipped away from them. Regina became mayor and their free weekends became fluxes of going to her stepson Rolandâs baseball games and taking him to wilderness survival club meeting in between town meetings, tending to their neighborâs trees and flowers, and general chores.
And then Robin became sick.
Thatâs where their story had left off, but it wouldnât be the end if Emma had anything to say about it.
Emma wasnât a doctor and there was little a bail bondsperson could do to take the occasional load off Reginaâs back, not that it would probably be accepted, knowing Regina.
What she did have though was a currently empty schedule and the perfect idea for a gift that would lift the familyâs spirits.
It was going to be a simple trip. Emma had made sure of it, and if everything went according to plan, sheâd be home by midnight.
Canât wait to spend another six hours on the road, as if the last six werenât fun enough.
It would be a long day trip to be sure, but the shitty thing about her type of business was that one never knew when their next client would call asking for her immediate services, and the fact was that an apartment wedged in the corner of Maine didnât pay for itself.
Google Maps had told her that sheâd be approaching Jones Farms in just a few minutes, three to be precise.
Finally, after hours of passing through them, the forests came to an end and a subsequent clearing revealed a series of farms over the next few miles. Jones Farms was the fifth that Emma saw. She found the spot where she could park and her yellow bug â her sole companion on this elongated trip â at last got a well-deserved rest.
Emma got out of her car and as she stretched â a relief she couldnât understate if she tried after such a long trip â she took in her surroundings. Right in front of her stood a wooden farm with a storefront alongside it and a wide stretch of trees behind it. Emma could just make out the sight of an apple or two across the distance. Just then, the door to the storefront opened, and Emma turned her attention that way. She noticed a man exit and come into her line of view, though somewhat masked by the shadow from underneath the roof of the patio. Upon taking notice of her, the man waved Emma over.
Emma was about to head to the storefront and get started on business. Then, as she took a deep breath of the crisp air, she smelled something she hadnât expected alongside it.
Cinnamon?
The aroma didnât as much dance up her nose as opposed to hit her nostrils like a brick to the face. And it wasnât like Emma disliked it. It was actually the opposite, really. But it did leave a lingering question, one Emma couldnât answer so easily:
Why did The Great Outdoors smell like a snickerdoodle?
Her curiosity as well as her mission compelled her to go forward towards the shop.
âHello,â the man said. âWelcome to Jones Farms.â When Emma finally got close enough to make out the manâs features, she blinked.
To be fair, Emma didnât know what to expect from the farm hands when she came here, but what she didnât expect was him.
The man before Emma was roughly half a head taller than her. He had piercing blue eyes, dark brown hair with a set of bangs that were swept back, and a tasteful bit of scruff that peaked at the space between his nose and mouth and otherwise ran across his chin. A black jacket covered his upper torso and arms and below was a pair of dark jeans, but neither entirely masked the subtle hints of muscle.
All this to say, he was quite handsome.
Not a bad person to spend an hour or two with.
âI donât believe Iâve ever seen you before, but itâs nice to meet you all the same. Killianâs the name,â he went on to say, extending a hand. âKillian Jones.â
âEmma,â she responded meeting his hand with her own. âEmma Swan.â They shook, and Emma couldnât describe it, but just the feeling of touching him wasâŠnice.
His whole demeanor was nice, in fact.
No, not nice. Kind.
People were a generally easy read for Emma. One didnât survive long as a bail bondsperson without such an ability. Sheâd always had an affinity for spotting lies for as long as she could remember, and the rest had developed with age. These days, Emma could easily tell someoneâs intentions on sight, as if a map of their person was drawing itself right in front of her.
And right now, Killianâs map pointed to the big heart on his sleeves. It wasnât a bad way to be. He was certainly more comfortable around new people than Emma tended to be, but Emma supposed that came with the job, customer service and all that. In any event, he had an air about him and Emma couldnât help but find it infectious.
âItâs a pleasure. Now, how may I assist you today?â
âIâm looking for some Bloody Ploughmans.â
Killian raised both of his brows and bulged his eyes. âSuch language,â he said, the mock offense in his voice as clear as glass, and a gloved hand clutching at his lapel as if to milk the reaction for even more. Emma gave a gentle roll of the eyes with a smirk that was quickly returned with a charming smile. âSorry, canât help but use that joke on the customers. To be fair, you would too if you had something with that name.â He released a small chuckle and Emma allowed her smirk to soften into a more genuine smile. Noticeably grateful, Killian gave a thankful nod. âIn any event, a fine apple.â
âAnd youâre the only place that has them.â
âThatâs because thereâs few apple farmers who come from across the sea where theyâre found.â
Emma nodded. The accent in his voice made it obvious that he was British.
âYouâve good taste,â Killian continued.
âNot me, actually,â Emma pointed out. âMy friend. You may remember â she came here a few years ago â Regina Mills?â
Killianâs eyes brightened with what Emma could assume was recognition.
âYes,â Killian confirmed. âI think a decade has past since then. I remember her because she insisted on trying every apple at the farm while she was here. People often make that promise â mostly kids â but she was the first to actually do it, and the only!â He started to laugh, and Emma found herself unexpectedly compelled to join in.
Thatâs Regina for you.
âShe told me about that,â Emma said jovially. âAnd if you think thatâs crazy, you shouldâve seen her when her favorite cereal got discontinued! She broke open her piggy bank and dragged me all over town. We went to every supermarket and bought as many boxes as we could carry!â
âDid you two grow up together?â Killian was smiling at her.
âYeah.â
âRelatives or friends?â
âKind of both.â
Killian quirked his brow, looking as confused as a penguin in a desert. âI donât follow.â
âFoster siblings,â Emma said, following a momentâs hesitation.
âAh. Gotcha,â Killian said with a soft grin. His appreciation may have been unspoken, but the gentle sprouts of his dimples told Emma quite a bit of his gratefulness for sharing something like that to someone who was little more than a stranger.
It definitely made Emma feel better. She was always tremulous when it came to bringing up something like that, but though Killian had asked for specifics until it became unavoidable, it was clearly not his intention for her to reveal that and heâd given just the right reaction to it, leaving the ball in her court for more information without a bit of pressure.
âSo anyway,â Emma resumed, getting back on topic, âRegina planted an apple tree with some seeds from that apple, but the fruit these days has got all these bumps on them  â Regina said itâs something called brown rot â and she wanted to grow another. She had a hard time getting back down here, so I came here to get them for her.â
âQuite a generous offer,â Kilian said. âReginaâs taste seemed to have remained the same, both in apples and in company.â
Emma smirked. âYou use that line on all your customers?â
Killian returned the expression without missing a beat. âOnly for the best.â Emma felt a compulsion to blush.
This guyâs either the best salesman in the world or heâs Superman.
Well, whatever he is, Iâve got to get moving. Besides, itâs starting to look cloudy.
âSo, how about we get started?â Emma suggested. âBloody Ploughmans are great and all â my favorites â but I really want to make this just a one day trip and traffic is probably going to be a bitch getting back to Maine as it is.â At the location of Emmaâs hometown, Killianâs brow raised.
âMaine? Well, thatâs one hell of a day trip, but I can surely understand, so, as the lady insists.â
Emma nodded gratefully, and as she did, she noticed the smell of cinnamon and how it was still so strong in the air.
âBy the way, Iâve been meaning to ask: Whatâs that smell? I feel like Iâm in a bakery.â
Much to Emmaâs confusion, Killian gaped and the brow that was already raised as well as its brother practically flew out of his head. âIs this really your first time visiting an apple farm?â
âYeah,â Emma answered, stuck between feeling guilty and laughing at the expression on Killianâs face through her befuddlement at the question.
With a click of his tongue, Killian smirked. âNo wonder. Youâve never had an apple cider donut?â
Apple cider donut?
The words flowed off Killianâs tongue, and mental images of the idea of the snack started floating through Emmaâs head. To add to that, the traces of cinnamon in the air made it all the more enticing. âCanât say I have. They sound pretty good.â
âTheyâre better than good, Emma.â Killian pressed his lips together and looked at his store thoughtfully for a brief moment before turning back to Emma. âYou know what, Emma? Come on in. Iâll give you a freshly made one, on the house.â
Emma was about to decline at the behest of her inner-chiding about her already expected-to-be long ride home, but her gurgling stomach betrayed her. Another smirk crossed Killianâs face, and if it didnât look so good on his face, Emma might just be annoyed by it. Regardless, she was hungry and the donuts sounded delicious. âLead the way,â she said as she signaled for him to do just that with a finger pointed towards the door.
âItâs weird though,â Killian commented as they enclosed on the shopâs entrance.
âWhat?â
âI smell the donuts too, but I havenât made any today.â Killian then shrugged. âBut then again, that machine is powerful and itâs old, too. Perhaps itâs just gotten a bit of a residual smell with age.â
Emma shrugged. âMakes sense to me.â
âBut trust me when I say this, Emma: If you think the cinnamon is powerful now, when this thing gets kicking, your nose will be straight-up filled with the stuff.â
And whether it was the hunger softly making itself known through the pangs in her stomach or the aroma that she started to feel acting as a premonition for the success for the rest of the day going forward, but Emma found the idea of a cinnamon-filled shop to be not only delightful, but also worthy of a show of delight and one final disclosement about herself.
âWell,â Emma said, smiling. âCinnamon just happens to be my favorite smell, so get cooking.â Killian grinned and with that, he opened the door to the store and the two of them walked in.
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True enough to Emmaâs expectations and Killianâs word, as soon as Killian put the apple cider donut machine to work, the smell of cinnamon grew ten times stronger.
The batter, Killian told Emma, had already been prepared and refrigerated the night before, so all he had to do was place some in the machine, and it would do the rest. Watching it go was quite the spectacle. The machine molded the batter into the correct shape for the donuts and plopped them onto a conveyor belt that would from there take them to be fried and adorned with their cinnamon sugar coating. It was a cool process to watch and Emma wouldâve been lying if she said otherwise.
The two of them filled the time waiting for the donuts to finish with light conversation, first with a cursory tour around the store, and afterwards with Killian showing Emma how his apple cider machine worked.
When the donuts were at last done, Killian stood at the end of the donut-making machine, grinning like a mad scientist as the coating was sprinkled on the freshly fried pastries. âGotta love that smell â the cinnamon and sugar coming together. Best in the world if you ask me!â
âIt does smell good.â Emma took another whiff and felt goosebumps as she took it is. âI love my cinnamon candle at home, but it has nothing on this.â
âAnd it gets even better! Just wait until you taste one!â A moment later, an apple cider donut was in her hand and another in Killianâs. He clinked their donuts together and took a bite, with Emma immediately following suit.
What next hit Emmaâs lips she could most closely describe as a lightning bolt of sweetness. Sugar and cinnamon so fresh that Emma swore they came off their original plants spread across her tongue like fireworks. The pastry itself hit her teeth like a goose down pillow and when it opened, the texture of warm cake spread through her mouth. Emma closed her eyes as she absorbed the taste while the rest of her donut radiated warmth between her fingers.
Ooh. Is thatâ?
âCinnamon? Yup, itâs in the donut batter too,â Killian said. Emma nearly choked on her donut, releasing a cough so that she wouldnât spit out her food. Her eyes bulged open.
Is he psychic?
Killian seemed to think so. At Emmaâs reaction, he gave her a shit-eating grin. âYouâre a surprisingly easy read, Emma, and even for me.â
âYou read everyone so well?â
âAll part of the job, love. Iâm quite an old hat at it.â
No, not psychic. Just cocky.
Though Iâll admit: cocky looks good on him.
Emma returned the smirk, not ready to be defeated at the game she excelled so well at. âWell, Iâm pretty good at reading people too, and youâre not exactly War and Peace yourself.â
âOh yeah?â Killian asked, his smirk having grown somehow even wider than before. âThen what am I thinking?â
This is too easy.
âYouâre itching for me stroke your ego and compliment your donuts,â Emma answered, with not a single beat missed in the process. Killian looked impressed, his cocky smirk still present, but his eyes forfeiting his amazement.
âVery good. Now will you?â
She took a deep breath, revelling as cinnamon danced around her nose once more. âYeah, theyâre pretty good.â
The smirk on Killianâs face dissolved into a smile. âAlways nice to hear.â
Emma was about to say something â granted, jokingly â about not letting the compliment go to his head when suddenly, a loud noise beat her to the punch.
Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
As the noise sounded off, Emma turned her head. Atop the cashierâs counter was a loud and colorful birdhouse with a clock in the top center of it. At the moment, a blue and yellow bird were rolling around a semicircle stretched out in front of the display of the time.
âThe kids love it,â Killian commented, âand itâs a great reminder to check on our inventory regularly, especially in our peak season.â Nodding, Emma looked at the time, but before another second passed, her curious expression turned violently into a gawk.
Shit! Itâs already one!
Killian had clearly noticed the change of face. âAre you okay, Emma?â
Emma sighed, remembering herself.
âYeah. Iâm okay,â she said. âItâs just that I didnât think Iâd be here this long. Iâve gotta get moving. Look, thanks for the donut. It was really good. Tell you what: Iâll grab a half a dozen of those for the road and take two bags of the Bloody Ploughmans.â Emma dug her hand into the pocket of her jeans, the leather of her wallet brushing against her fingers, but she soon stopped at the sight in front of her: Killian frowning. âWhat?â
âCome on, Emma,â he whined. âItâs your first time at an apple farm, and Iâm not about to let you just buy the apples without picking them first.â
âThatâs very sweet of you, Killian, but I canât.â
âAh, ah, ah,â Killian chided, waving a finger. âThereâs nothing like the feeling of pulling an apple right off a tree and taking a bite out of it. It forms an intimate bond between yourself and nature.â Emma raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. âBesides,â he continued, âI sold out of my pre-picked bags of them yesterday. Unless you can come back another day, you havenât a choice.â
Emma pouted to herself. âNo, I canât. It took me hours to get up here and this is the only day Iâll be able to do it for like a month.â
âLook, Emma. If you want, I could go and pick the apples for you if you really donât want to. I know the situationâs hardly ideal what with the weather so perhaps I can assist.â
Still pouting, Emma resigned herself to the idea. âItâs okay. Thereâs nothing else to do here. I may as well help you.â
So much for my quick trip.
Also, I should grab some gloves from my car. From the way Killianâs talking, it might get cold soon.
Killian smiled, practically stubbornly in the face of Emmaâs pout. âDonât worry. Itâll be fun,â he encouraged. âAnd Iâll come with you, take some pictures on your phone, and you can show Regina what a good time you had!â When faced with Killianâs grin, Emma felt her pout give out right before she grinned too. Killian seemed to be able to tell that heâd won the battle, his teeth flashing. âWill,â he called to a man sitting by the cash register in front of the store. âIâm going to accompany our lovely patron to the orchard for her first proper picking. Youâre in charge until I get back.â
âAye, aye!â the cashier said cheerfully. Content enough with the circumstances, Emma and Killian started for the exit out of the store. âUh, before you go, Killian,â the man continued just before Killian could touch the doorknob, his tone now smaller. âJust reminding you that you said I could leave in two hours. I really need to get home soon.â Despite the meekness of Willâs words, Emma noticed that there was an underlying urgency to them too.
Whatâs beating him?
âOf course, Mr. Smee. We should be back with time to spare. Now come, Emma! The orchards await!â
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Jones Farms ended up being far more extensive than Emma thought. While the trees looked to be close to the house and storefront, the walk to the orchards had taken about five minutes, and Killian told Emma as they strolled through the trees that the Bloody Ploughmans were in the back of the fields, past the dozens of Macintoshes, Galas, and Granny Smiths alongside their path. The trek made Emma feel like the layers of trees were practically swallowing her whole. She looked to Killian who contrarily seemed so at home as he navigated through the dense forest. His eyes were shifting from branch to branch, muttering to himself about the state of the fruits on the trees and the fences on the border of the orchard that were just visible from the path. From what she could make out from his mutters and expressions, it all looked good.
Just before Emma was about to turn her head back to focus on the way ahead, Killian met her eye. Instantaneously, his expression popped from one of intense focus to one of an equally intense embarrassment.
âSo sorry for the quiet, Emma!â Killian said. âJust wanted to check on everything. You can never be too careful with oneâs livelihood when itâs forced to lay bare against mankind and the elements, and since Iâm here and all, may as well look now.â
âI get it,â Emma replied, assuaging Killian of his clear guilt. âItâs your business, and work always means more when youâre your own boss.â
Killian quirked a brow. âYou know from experience?â
âIâm a freelance bail bondsperson.â
âThatâs pretty cool! Whatâs the work like? Is it like all the TV shows?â Emma almost wanted to laugh at the childlike enthusiasm on Killianâs face. It was wide-eyed, curious, and honestly just cute.
All of that made it hard for her to do what she needed to next.
Emma scrunched her face and shook her head. âSorry to burst your bubble, but not really. I mean, sometimes, youâll get a runner, and then youâll have to play detective to find them, but it doesnât happen often. Usually, Iâm just filing paperwork, checking with the courthouses, and driving to defendantâs houses to check on them and make sure they havenât skipped town. Thankfully, for most of the people Iâve worked with, they havenât. Itâs not the easiest lesson to learn when youâre a foster kid, but in my field of work, you realize that more people are good than not.â
Killianâs face fell, but only slightly. âWell, itâs at least an optimistic aspect of society nowadays, that those who you help are also working to help themselves.â
âExactly,â Emma said, a feeling of profound satisfaction in her gut and a smile tugging at the edges of her lips. She hardly ever talked about work â mostly because it was as mundane as she described most of the time â but Killian just got what that mundanity meant.
I wonder what his story isâŠ
âŠCouldnât hurt to ask.
âBy the way,â she continued, âhowâd you get all the way from England to have an apple farm here in the states? They donât have apple farms across the Atlantic?â
âThey do, but ââ
Wait, donât tell me.
âTrying to avoid someone?â
Despite the interruptance, Killian seemed to take the question well, a brief low chuckle coming through his throat.
âThat depends: Does an entire country count as someone?â Emmaâs eyes bulged. Killian seemed to understand immediately where Emmaâs mind had gone. âNo, trust me. Iâm not a criminal,â he explained. âQuite the opposite actually.â
âOh?â
Killian pursed his lips. Though Emma could tell from there that the subject made Killian uncomfortable, right before she could stop him, Killian started speaking. âMy brother and I were in the navy back home. He was killed in the line of duty and I lost my hand.â
Shit.
Emma grimaced, feeling guilty for ever bringing up the topic. She couldnât imagine losing a limb, much less someone so close to her in a war. âIâm so sorry, Killian.â
âIt is what it is.â Killian took a deep breath. Not wanting to miss the opportunity to spare Killian any further pain, Emma spoke again.
âWe donât have to talk about this if you want.â
âItâs alright,â Killian dismissed. âYou told me a bit of your story. The least I can do is give you a glimmer of mine.â
Emma â touched â felt her hand drift to her chest.
âAfter being honorably discharged, I left the country,â Killian continued. âLife in England had never been easy for me, so I decided to make a new start in a new country.â
âAll by yourself?â
âYes. Our parents are long gone, one more loosely fitting that definition than the other, but gone all the same. Iâve Mr. Smee as an employee and a few townspeople as friends, but otherwise, no one really.â
Now that was a weird sensation. While it wasnât something she was used to growing up, Emmaâs small town these days carried with it a sense of intimacy. She had Regina who she was close to, but there were others as well and given the nature of small towns, she had at least some idea of everyoneâs business. Sometimes, it was too much for her, especially due to her upbringing, but to be by yourself with all this land, Emma couldnât imagine it.
âIt doesnât get lonely?â
âOh, it does. To tell you the truth, Iâve hoped that one day, perhaps my soulmate will drop by the farm and from there, weâd settle down here together.â
Emma snorted, perhaps a tad more condescendingly than intended, but not enough that it looked like she hurt Killian in the process.
âYouâre into that stuff?â
Killian raised a brow. âWho wouldnât be?â She met his eye, and once more, he seemed able to read her thoughts. âYou?â he asked, his surprise evident.
âEh,â Emma shrugged.
âHmm. Iâve always loved the idea,â he responded with a shrug of his own. âBeing around someone and everything just feelingâŠright. Kind of like a safety net. The rest of the world gives us so much pain. Itâd be nice to have one person who was always on your side, who you could always rely on, and could always rely on you.â
Boy, is that naive.
But Emma didnât give voice to the thought. After all, when Killian finally found his soulmate, odds are that theyâd have the same idea of what a soulmate is. And maybe it really would be as easy as that for them. For his sake, she hoped that was true.
As for herâŠ
âI donât know. I guess it just feels weird, like being in an arranged marriage by the universe.â
It was an understatement of her true thoughts, to be sure, but it was serviceable for their conversation.
âI wouldnât call it that,â Killian said, musing. âIâd say itâs closer toâŠan apple farmer showing you where to find the trees you want are.â
Jeez, heâs a total romantic.
But hey, if anyone can make the whole soulmates thing work, itâs probably him.
I canât imagine anyone would turn him down with a face like that, and thatâs before theyâd spend a minute with him.
âSpeaking of,â Emma redirected, âso what about the apple farming?â
âMy brother Liam and I used to work odd jobs as teenagers to make money. We found being farmhands for this one coupleâs orchard to be the best of them. Besides, even though I wanted to leave my old life behind, it didnât mean I wanted to leave my brother. You know whatâs funny?â Emma hummed inquisitively. âYou said earlier that Bloody Ploughmans were your favorite apple. Well, they were Liamâs favorite too. And speaking of,â Killian said, pointing ahead. âLook, weâve arrived!â
Indeed they had. Emmaâs gaze followed Killianâs finger. Beyond a small clearing was a messily labeled was a sign for Bloody Ploughmans and three rows of trees that extended back until a fence roughly three hundred feet away.
âEmma,â Killian said, walking past Emma until he could face her from the front. âIâm going to check on the fence at the back of this section.â He then produced a folded bag out of his coat pocket. âWhy donât you get a head start, and Iâll be right back?â She nodded and took the bag, and with a final toothy smile, Killian took off, leaving Emma alone.
For a moment, all Emma could do was take in the trees. There was such a beautiful familiarity in seeing the Bloody Ploughmans. After the tree in Reginaâs yard had proved itself to be ill beyond repair, Regina had chopped it down, leaving only a small stump where the strong bark once stood. Emma had forgotten how they stood, shorter to the ground than she remembered, but  also fuller in its fruits and still as commanding in their presence as ever.
With the crunching leaves below her boots as her only companion, Emma stepped towards the closest apple tree.
Suspended in the air, just a half a foot above Emmaâs head was a gorgeous looking apple. It was perfectly plump in its shape and was a shade of red that she recognized all-too-well.
Now thatâs what Iâm talking about!
Raising a hand up to the appleâs base, Emma pulled it towards her, twisting it slightly when she felt weakness in the top of the stem. When the apple was finally released, the branch that held it flung backwards â and as Emma found out before she could even hope to move to stop it â right into Killianâs unprepared face.
Oh crap.
Killian released a grunt that was deprived of any and all grace at the impact.
âSorry,â Emma said meekly, an apologetic smile on her face. Killian enclosed his hand around the branch and steadied it. He didnât look mad, but simply startled. As he sputtered, a leaf revealed itself to be in KIllianâs mouth, much to his clear disgust.
For the record, Emma did feel guilty. Truly, she did.
But she couldnât help herself when she felt a bout of giggles in her chest as Killian coughed and pushed the leaf away.
So, after losing a battle of wills she never had a shot in hell of winning, Emma released a small chuckle, and much to her relief, Killian joined in.
âMight I suggest a less violent approach to picking apples?â he asked, chuckling not only from the absurdity of his previous situation, but also from the triumph that came with ridding himself of the stray leaf once and for all. âNot that your approach isnât effective, but Iâm quite fond of my face the way it is.â
So am I.
âLead the way.â
âYou got it, love,â Killian replied, a flirtatious wink at the word.
Emma felt her cheeks get pleasantly warm, making the cold air around her face feel all but nonexistent.
Killian took an apple less than a foot above him into his hand and with the other, took the branch.
âWhat you want to do is hold the apple - and you were right to give it a little twist at the stem - but what you want to do is keep the branch steady too. Itâs not good for the tree for it to flail like that.â Emma watched closely, and as Killian spoke, she noticed his left hand - unlike the right - was gloved.
Thatâs probably the prosthetic.
Emma found herself impressed. The prosthetic moved almost as well as his hand did, perhaps a touch more rigidly, but it would be nothing anyone would be able to notice of they didnât have the hawk-like eyesight of a bailbondswoman.
âSo watch what I do.â Gently, Killian removed the apple while still keeping everything else relatively the same. Once the branch was safely put back in place, Killian showed Emma the apple. It didnât gleam like an apple on a teacherâs desk, but it had this distinct and natural beauty to it within the thin layer of dirt at its surface. âAnd there you have it.â Killian gestured downward with his eyes and it took Emma a moment to realize that he was pointing at her bag. Immediately, Emma opened it, and both Killian as well as her own apple from earlier fell into it.
âThanks.â
Killian gestured towards the very apple tree he had just picked from. âNow you try, if you think you can handle grabbing an apple without causing an earthquake, that is,â he challenged. The good-natured smirk on his face made it clear that he knew sheâd be one to hardly pass up a challenge.
Good guess.
âEither way, Iâm about to rock your world.â After taking a second to choose the perfect apple, Emma grabbed it, and was careful to use the strategy Killian taught her. When she was done, she hovered the fruit in front of Killianâs face, just as he had done with the one he picked.
âIndeed you have,â Killian remarked. âAnd a very nice choice on top of that, love! See? Told you it was a good idea to come pick the apples fresh.â
âNot like I had a choice,â she said, putting the apple into her bag.
âBut admit it: it was still fun.â
âFine,â Emma relented, an amiable eye roll trailing beside her words like a trusted friend. âIt was fun.â As if to solidify the point, Emma grabbed another apple in much the same way as she did the last.
She hadnât planned for today to go how it had. She never imagined that sheâd actually had to go out into the fields and get her own fruits, but being around someone like Killian, someone so open and easy to talk to made her wonder why sheâd have ever wanted to do this differently.
âNot to mention, Killian said, âyou were also exposed to this beautifully crisp mountain air. Bet they donât have this back in Storybrooke! Trust me, Swan, nothing makes you feel alive quite like when your lungs are full of it.â Dramatically with his arms open like he was performing the opening of The Sound of Music , Killian took a loud and deep breath. âGo on!â he encouraged.
And Emma did, albeit without the Julie Andrews pose. She took a sharp inhale and immediately, the fresh breeze began pouring throughout her entire being.
âŠAlongside something else.
Cinnamon?
Emma furrowed her brow. That didnât make sense. They mustâve been a quarter of a mile away from the storefront of Jones Farms. And thereâs no way with all the wind blowing that the smell from the donuts she ate over an hour ago was still strong enough.
So why was she still smelling cinnamon as if she was right in front of the machine itself?
WaitâŠDidnât Killian say something earlier?
She remembered it so clearly.
âGotta love that smell â the cinnamon and sugar coming together. Best in the world if you ask me!â
Thatâs what Killian said exactly. Word for word.
NoâŠ
But if Emma was right â and she got a good feeling she was â then so much now made sense: why she felt so comfortable telling him she was a foster kid, how he was able to convince her so easily to come up here and apple pick, and why Kilian couldnât seem to take two steps without making her smile.
Weâre soulmates.
Emmaâs stomach clenched. She took another breath, this time more staggard.
This really wasnât what she expected to happen today.
Soulmate.
Killian was her soulmate.
Killian, the kind farmer.
Killian, one of the most handsome men she had ever met.
Killian, someone she had already felt okay telling bits about herself to.
âŠ
Killian, the hopeless romantic who was just ten minutes ago waxing about how great soulmates were.
Killian, the guy who thought that heâd find his soulmate and theyâd be together forever like the ending of a storybook.
Killian, the guy who was now looking at her, seemingly able to tell that something was amiss.
And of course he could.
After all, they were soulmates.
âEverything okay, Emma?â
No. Things werenât okay by a long shot. Killian was her soulmate and she was not ready to deal with that yet. There was so much to think about, so much to talk about, and a million ways that things could go wrong if it wasnât handled carefully. Killianâs hopes were so high, too high, and telling him right now in the middle of a picturesque apple orchard, for as photogenic as sheâs sure it would be, didnât seem the best way to ease him out of that mindset.
At the same time though, that very mindset had begged the question: Had Killian figured it out, too?
Definitely not. If he had found out, he wouldnât hide it. Heâd say something. I can read him.
But if she could read him, it stood to reason that he could probably read her too, no matter whether or not he knew.
To be blunt, Emma didnât want him to know, or at least, not yet. To tell him now, before she could figure out what to say would open a can of worms that she knew could hurt them both.
And currently, Killianâs question over her well being hung in the air, waiting to be answered.
Emma searched for a way out, knowing that a straight up dismissal of his concerns would only arouse Killianâs suspicion. Attempts at fake concerns fizzed in and out of her mind, killed by the consequences that could ensue in their wake. Â
Thankfully, Emma looked at her apple bag and found her solution.
Perfect.
âIâm just hungry.â Immediately, she grabbed one of the apples she picked and shoved it into her mouth.
Damn, thatâs good! But it tastes a little different. Did I just remember it wrong?
Emma scrunched her face in confusion.
Just then, Killian started chuckling.
Fuck. Why does he have to have such a cute laugh?
âUhh,â Killian started. âYou should probably know that thereâs a layer of pesticides over that apple.â Emma gaped at the apple which now had a huge chunk removed from it, a chunk that was by now likely chilling in her stomach. âNothing thatâll harm you!â Killian assured. âHowever, it does throw off the taste. I think that should solve that mystery for you.â
Emma chuckled, remaining conscientious as to keep the nervousness at bay despite how difficult the task ended up being. After finishing her apple over some small talk with Killian, she went back to picking apples off the tree. Killian took another bag from his coat pocket and at her behest, started assisting her.
Okay, good. Weâve just got to finish filling these bags and then I can get out of here. Â
Sheâd come back. Emma promised herself and Killian that much, however silently. For right now though, she couldnât handle a soulmate.
For Godâs sake, this was supposed to be a quick apple picking trip, not a rom-com!
âI gotta say,â Killian spoke, taking Emma from her thoughts, âI admire you for your dedication to your friend, but itâs a weird time for you to come all the way out here.â
Emma quirked her brow. âWhyâs that? Some sort of festival going on?â
Killian looked at Emma as if she was crazy. âNo, love. Amelia.â
Oh, please donât say love.
She could feel her heart protest that sentiment, the tenseness that existed since she found out the truth being somewhat mitigated by the cozy feeling of the single word.
âWhoâs Amelia?â Killian bit his lip, which was quite worrisome given his more chipper disposition from just a few moments ago. âKillian?â
âAmeliaâs not a person, Emma,â he responded, so soberly that she felt a phantom shudder as he stared at her. âSheâs a hurricane, and a bloody strong one. I canât believe you havenât heard of her. You can hardly walk ten miles without hearing anyone talk about it.â
âOh crap,â Emma said, taking a hand away from her apple bag to massage her forehead.
âIf you want to leave,â Killian spoke, âyou need to get out of here fast.â
It didnât take Emma long to come to a decision. Sheâd head out now. It was too much to not only confront the fact that they were soulmates, but to be trapped in the same townâŠ
No. Especially not after last monthâŠ
Sheâd get Killianâs number or come by again after the storm let up. That way, she could talk to someone about this back home first. Maybe Regina would know what to do. Or hell, maybe she made a mistake. It was fall. Maybe everything just smelled like cinnamon up here and if she came by a few months later, the smell would be gone.
âŠThat probably wasnât true, but Emma entertained the notion all the same.
Emma nodded. âLetâs get these apples packed up. Iâll pay you then head out.â
âGood thin-â
Two simultaneous beeping sounds interrupted Emmaâs words and a feeling of vibration from her pants let her know exactly where it was coming from.
Killian got to his phone first. He looked for a few seconds at the device before turning back to Emma, his tenuous face giving her insight into what he was about to say.
âThe hurricaneâs already caught up with the next town over and the main roads that lead out of here have just been shut down as a precaution.â
Words dried up on Emma lips like an ice cube in a cup of tea.
Until Hurricane Amelia let up and those lonely roads could be filled once more, she was stuck here.
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After a brisk walk back to the buildings beside Jones Farms, Killian invited Emma to use his laptop in the farmhouse. Already, Hurricane Ameliaâs strength started to show itself. The winds were picking up fast and it had started raining on the return trip. Still, Emma retained some degree of optimism. Until the roads were shut down from within the town, she could conceivably find a hotel to stay at and avoid Killian altogether.
Unfortunately, luck wasnât on their side.
There were very few hotels in the area and those that were around either had no vacancies or were off of or directly on roads that were rapidly closing down more and more with every click on the mouse.
After an hour of searching and a final emergency alert that definitively shut down all roads in Hudson, Emma closed the laptop with a sigh.
âNothing,â she concluded, her eyes dull with the haze that followed resignation.
âIâm sorry, Emma. I know you only planned for a day trip. But, if it helps, youâre welcome to stay here for the duration of the hurricane. Iâve a spare room upstairs thatâs all yours.â
It couldnât be understated how badly Emma didnât want this to be her only option. Killian was a smart guy and while cinnamon seemed to be a common smell by the storefront, it would make itself apparent as an outlier soon enough. Heâd figure out they were soulmates, probably before if she was being generous
However, the fact of the matter was that this was her only option. The winds had only gotten stronger and while sheâd slept in her car more than her fair share of times, sheâd never been stupid enough to do it during a hurricane and that wasnât about to change.
As for Killian, sheâd do what she could to handle things.
After all, if cinnamon was Killianâs favorite scent too, maybe there was some finagaling that could be done.
âThank you,â Emma said. âThatâs really sweet. Can I pay you or something?â
âNonsense!â Killian dismissed. âBesides, youâre doing me a favor.â
âHowâs that?â
âIt gets lonely during these hurricanes. The power goes out more often than not, itâs dark and disgusting, I forget to buy books, and thereâs little else to do around here than gorge myself on cider and donuts. Itâll be nice having a spot of company. We could have a drink, share a story by the fire, also gorge ourselves on cider and donuts, play a board game.â Killian smiled goofily at her. âIâve got Monopoly,â he added with a shrug.
Emma, despite every bit of panic in her bones, couldnât help but smile back at the joke. âIâm in, but only if I can play the race car.â
Killian shook his head. âIâm always the racecar, love.â At that moment, Killian lowered his eyes to the floor. Once Emmaâs eyes followed suit, she saw the small dark and damp looking circle at her feet. âTell you what. Why donât we pause our battle over the pieces and get you out of those wet clothes? Iâve some clean sweats you can change into.â
âArenât you the gentleman?â
âIâm always a gentleman,â Killian countered, a finger pointed at nothing particular. âNow, how about I continue to show myself as a gentleman and escort you to your dwelling?â As he spoke, he mock extended his hand, as if asking a beautiful lady to dance.
If Emma hadnât been trying to keep a secret, sheâd have groaned.
Could he be any more romantic?
Hesitantly, Emma smiled and slid her fingers onto his palm, completing the joke.
Killian showed Emma the way to her bedroom. It was cozy and small with a queen sized bed, a dresser with a mirror against the front wall, and a window that gave a nice view of the orchard.
âThe sweats are in the top right drawer of the dresser. If you need me, Iâll be in my room down the hall. I think I need some clean clothes myself.â With a tap against the door, Killian exited the room, leaving Emma all alone.
When his footsteps were finally out of earshot and a door clicked shut in the distance, Emma leaned against the nearest wall and sighed.
How am I going to handle this now?
After soulmates were introduced, it didnât take long for them to realize it. For Regina, it had taken a few weeks, but she had the benefit of living far across town from Robin and by her own nature, was so focused on the Bloody Ploughmans that she went all that time missing the forest for the trees.
Killian, Emma was willing to bet, would not. Not only was he perceptive â and more emotionally speaking than most â but they were now in the same house and werenât going anywhere until this hurricane passed. It wouldnât take long before the smell of cinnamon became too abundant to ignore.
A sigh parted her lips.
So that left her wondering: should she tell him the truth now? On some level she wanted to. He was a great guy, if not a touch too idealistic in his views on love and harboring this secret was going to be a pain for however long she had to. That said, Emma also saw a future past the reveal, and things didnât go smoothly there. Killian was so invested in the idea of soulmates. If Emma approached things the wrong way, it could make for a very awkward evening.
Besides, Emma reminded herself, she had a plan.
Sheâd go home.
Sheâd talk to her friends.
Sheâd maybe even see a therapist.
Then sheâd come back and talk to Killian, when she knew the right thing to say.
But that meant until then, sheâd need to fight the clock.
Emma looked out the window. Leaves flew through the air like bluebirds, and the comparison was only solidified by the unique whistle that the wind made. She was going to be stuck in the house for the night, maybe even two if things werenât better the next day.
Of course I donât have anything I can pretend is perfume or deodorant.
As Emma took in and mused over her situation, she took a deep breath. As the oxygen inflated her lungs like a vacuum bag, it revealed something quite curious: the smell of cinnamon was out of her nose shot.
And as loathe as she was to admit it, that revelation gave her a glimmer of hope.
Maybe Killian wouldnât figure out they were soulmates if Emma played things smart. When they were both in their rooms, any clues that they were soul mates were nonexistent. Obviously, she couldnât ignore Killian, but if she could keep in her room just long enough to keep any suspicions that heâd have at bay while not proving herself to be rude, sheâd possibly be able to get away with their secret intact.
Just until she had that precious time to think.
A squishy feeling from below Emmaâs boots drifted her away from her thoughts. Though not as big as the circle she made downstairs, this roomâs beige carpet was starting to darken from the wayward drips of rain coming off of her jeans.
Speaking of thinking, I think I need to change clothes.
Emma looked at the top drawer that Killian pointed her to when she had first entered the room. Inside it was a pair of grey sweatpants as well as a matching sweatshirt. Both looked to be about a size bigger than she was, but Emma could tell that theyâd fit fine enough.
So, to the sound of musical winds and thumping against the outer walls, she began to undress.
She got on the sweatpants and was about to put on the sweatshirt. Her hand had enclosed the garment when all of the sudden, less than six feet from her, there was a crash.
The entire explosion happened in an instant. Glass shattered and spread across the room like water over a beach at high tide. Right afterwards, the wind and rain began pouring in as aggressively as a hornet.
And somewhere in that mix, though she was uncertain of exactly when, Emma screamed.
âEmma!â Killian shouted as he ran inside. âAre you alright?â He looked at her with a primal fear in his eyes, only turning to look at the shattered window after a few seconds.
âY-yeah. Iâm okay. A branch must have crashed through the window.â Her words were proven true by the large piece of bark that currently leaned against her bed.
âDamn,â Killian muttered, right before turning to her again. âBut at least youâre okay.â
Then something strange happened. Killian, who was noticeably only looking Emma in the eye, choked.
It was only at that point that she realized he, with a labored but steadily heaving chest, was shirtless.
In the moments where Killian had just entered the room, Emma had been too focused on the ruckus, as she shouldâve been and the panic in his eyes as he examined both her and the scene.
But now the worst of the danger had passed, and his assets were fully on display.
And hers too.
Crap!
The sweatshirt - still not on her body, but pressed against her nonetheless - had done a fine job concealing Emmaâs top half, but now was the time to properly wear it.
Killian seemed to realize this too. He held his left hand to his eyes and averted his gaze back towards the window.
âIâm sorry, Emma. I heard the crash and a shout-â
âItâs fine. I get it,â Emma interrupted, somewhat muffled by the sweatshirt that was going over her head. When it was finally on her person, Emma set about grabbing the stuff sheâd brought into the room before stepping aside so Killian could inspect his window.
As Killian looked around, it became increasingly clear just how unsafe the area was. Glass was still falling off the window and rain was flying from the other side, and while the glass had mostly just missed him, the rain had been far more successful in that endeavor, hitting his face more and more with every passing second. After a full minute of this, Killian stepped back and turned to Emma.
âHow bad?â Emma asked.
âMother Natureâs quite upset with us. That branch did a clear number on this window and the room. I wonât be able to repair that, at least not until the stormâs gone. I can try to tape a shower curtain over it, but with the fierceness of this storm, Iâm not confident itâll hold. The most I can do otherwise is I bottle it shut with some towels.â
âAnything I can do to help?â
âThereâs a container down by the kitchen â big and blue, you canât miss it â that could hold back the excess water from getting all over the floor and causing flooding. If you could get me that, thatâd be great. Iâm going to put my sweater back on and get to work.â
Emma headed downstairs and made her way into the kitchen. Sure enough, just as Killian said, there was a big blue container in the back.
Okay. Time to get this sucker upstairs.
Taking an edge of the container in each hand, Emma lifted it. She was all ready to go back upstairs and deliver the container to Killian when suddenly, something appeared out of the corner of her eye. Had she moved her head at any other angle, she wouldâve missed it completely, but she hadnât, and there it was, calling out to her like a sign.
A box of apple cinnamon tea and an old iron kettle right by its side.
Talk about fate.
The ensuing plan was formed in a matter of seconds and her hands were bringing the kettle to the sink after another pinch of them. Emma dropped the box and began to fill the kettle with water and stuck the last of the tea into the infuser inside of it, feeling a certain culpable delight as she got a whiff at the cinnamon, artificial for the first time since sheâd discovered the truth. She set it on the stove and put the heat on.
The whole while that Emma conspired and enacted her plan, she felt her heart thumping heavily and quickly in her chest, beating as if she could be discovered at any minute.
Or like she wanted to be discovered.
Emma dismissed the notion as she continued to toil over her brew.
Itâs for the best, just for now.
Once she was done, Emma grabbed the container again and brought it back upstairs to her room. As she entered, Killian was still at work, doing his best to hold the shower curtain down against the violent rain and winds. If Killian wasnât already soaked from the downpour and his initial inspection of the window, he certainly was now. Emma quickly dropped the container in her arms and rushed to his side, holding the sides of the shower curtain he wasnât using down.
âMy hero!â Killian praised upon realizing what she was doing. The two smiled at each other and with the other sides of the shower curtain taken care of, Killian was able to make fast work of the project. After he was done, he put some extra towels on the floor and Emma put the container on top of them.
Breathless after the whole ordeal was done, Emma made a move to sit on the bed.
âWait!â Killian cried before her tush could land. Carefully, he grabbed a piece of glass from just under her. âThereâs more on there, too.â
Taking the hint, Emma leaned against the wall instead, just as she had when she first entered the room. At that moment, she noticed, much to her chagrin, that the smell of cinnamon had returned, and that the tea she prepared downstairs wasnât anywhere close to boiling yet.
Fortunately, Killian seemed too occupied examining the destroyed room to contemplate the smell in any meaningful way. Emma looked on at the glass spread all over the floor and over the bed. The branch may have only given the window a single hit, but that single hit had evidently been more than enough to not only break the glass, but to shatter it entirely. All the while, the outside world was trying its best to wreck the windowâs replacement. The wind puffed the shower curtain forward like a sail on the sea, and while it put up a good fight, there was no guarantee that it would be a solution that could unquestionably whether the storm.
All in all, Emma knew she couldnât stay here.
Apparently, Killian picked up on that as well, for he moved to answer it for her.
âWeâll have to get you to another room,â he said.
Thankfully, Emma had a plan already brewing for that.
âDonât worry,â she said, shrugging. âThe couch looks comfy enough to spend a night or two on. Iâll ride out the storm there.â
And it seemed to be one that would work fine.
âŠFor about as long as she was saying it.
But as soon as she was done, the pushback began.
Killian shook his head. âNot a chance. No guest of mine will stay on a couch, or at least not that couch. It my appear to be good for a nap, but trust me when I say its springs will surely kill you. No, you can have my bed, and Iâll weather that accursed thing.â
Emma groaned internally, knowing what she had to do. Damnit, the idea of them being in separate rooms was so perfect! It wouldâve kept them apart and more importantly, keep the truth at bay, just until Emma figured out how to handle it.
But she couldnât kick Killian out of his own room. Not after everything he had already done for her. Not with his low-hanging shoulders. Not with the way his hair that had fallen from the moisture of a long dayâs work and a hurricane, doing more to show off his exhaustion than Emma was willing to bet his words ever would of Killianâs own volition.
And not after he had shown himself to be such a good guy.
âWhy donât we share it?â Emma suggested, fighting the hesitation that threatened to voice itself as best as she could.
Killianâs brows raised, and she could see him get smaller in the way he carried himself. âAre you sure?â he asked, the light glaze of nervousness obvious in his voice. âI-I mean, I promise to be a gentleman, of course.â
Despite her concerns, at the memory of a familiar phrase, Emma couldnât resist the urge to make a little quip.
âI thought you were always a gentleman,â she countered.
âI-,â Killian started, but stopped his words in their tracks. After releasing a cough, he adjusted himself, looking like he was willfully banishing the worry from his system. He seemed to have accepted Emmaâs offer with no reservations. âThank you, Emma,â he said. Emma could feel his earnestness, just like she imagined he felt hers as she wordlessly told him that he was welcome.
The gratefulness there made for a meddlesome reminder that she was lying to his face.
Universe, you sure you didnât mess this one up too?
He deserves someone whoâll be a real soulmate to him, someone who believes in the whole soulmate thing and that it really can last forever.
What he doesnât deserve is a liar.
Suddenly, from outside the room, Emma could hear a loud whistle, pulling her from the inside of her head.
âDid you make tea?â Killian inquired, a cocked head.
âI figured it would be good to get ourselves warm after we were done with the window.â
Killian smiled. âGenerous and kind. Youâre one of a kind, Emma Swan, and I hope a friend.â
Emma felt her breath stagnate.
Once you figure out weâre soulmates, youâll definitely want to be more than friends.
And thatâs only going to make it worse when I tell you I canât.
Because while you deserve a happily ever after, I donât know if I can give you one.
I hope you know that when I finally tell you, itâs gonna hurt for me too.
He was close to her now, close enough to kiss if either of them wanted to.
It was annoying how appealing that was and how the notion so nearly overpowered her fears.
It was extra annoying given how the appeal of Killian Jones in general had so far won on more than one occasion, and she wasnât about to let it win here.
âMonopoly!â The word burst out before Emma could process it. Fortunately, it didnât take long for her to catch up. âBet you wonât consider me a friend after we play Monopoly. So why donât you get dressed and Iâll serve us up a cup of tea? Then Iâll show you how generous and kind I really am when I get those railroads from you.â
Killian smirked. âGame on, Swan. You best take the race car, cause youâre going to need it for luck. Iâll see you in five.â With that, he made off for his room, leaving Emma to descend the staircase with both hope and dread battling a what was essentially a Cold War in her chest as the scent of cinnamon vanished once more.
Oh believe me, Iâll need luck for a lot more than Monopoly.
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Never let it be said that tea time couldnât get intense.
Killian and Emma were quite the fierce competitors and Monopoly had run them well past the setting of the sun, running so late that they took a break to make dinner. All the while, their tea â and more importantly to Emma, the accompanying cinnamony aroma â continued to permeate the living room for the duration of the game.
âShouldnât have given you that race car,â Killian said, a good-natured tone present in his voice as he shook his head. âTold you it was lucky.â
Emma, proud of her victory, smirked. âLuck has nothing to do with it when youâre smart enough not to buy Baltic.â
âWhat did you want me to do? I had a Monopoly there!â
âMaybe use that to buy some houses on your yellows.â
She looked over at Killian, who was now slumping in his chair. A drawn out yawn roared from the innards of his mouth and much like a disease, it was quite contagious and suddenly, Emma was belting one out as well.
âQuite a day itâs been, between apple picking, hurricanes, a shattered window, and a positively gruesome game of Monopoly,â Killian said.
Emma, content as she rubbed her belly to alleviate the full stomach dinner and their dessert of apple cider donuts, snorted. âIâve been to New York a few times, and the one thing Iâve learned throughout all of them is that you never know what youâre gonna get.â
âDoes anything top this?â
âNot unless you count ramen burgers.â
âThatâs a thing?â
âSurprisingly, yes.â
âYou know, when the song said, if you can make it in New York, you could make it anywhere, our city neighbors took that a touch too literally.â
The two of them laughed for several long minutes. During that time, Emmaâs guard began to drop and her mind wandered to places she hadnât allowed it to go. She imagined a reality were she felt comfortable telling Killian they were soulmates, one where tonight could be celebrated as the first adventure in a life that would be full of them. She imagined coming home to a house draped with the scent of cinnamon and beaming, just knowing that inside was someone who would stand by her forever, no matter the obstacle.
It was a reality she had only recently barred herself from, but one that was so comforting to return to.
One that was too comforting to return to.
Shit
Emma knew she could drop the truth bomb now. Killian clearly hadnât figured out the truth yet.
But the thought of it made her too nervous. Opening the door to the truth meant opening the door to their future together.
The only problem was that there was a chance neither of them would like where that door led, and that possibility held Emma back.
If things fail, I donât want to hurt him.
If things fail, I donât want to hurt me .
Killian, still oblivious to all of this, looked towards the distance at what Emma soon discovered was a clock.
âItâs getting late,â he said. âWhy donât you head off to bed?â
Emma felt a hitch in her throat, rendering her nearly speechless.
âYeah,â she croaked, wishing that there was still some of the apple cinnamon tea left.
âYou sound parched. How about you go upstairs and get settled in and Iâll grab you a glass of water.â
âAre you sure? I could grab it if you want.â
âNah, thatâs fine. Besides, thereâs something I wanted to check on in the kitchen.â
Emma was vaguely curious about what exactly it was that Killian wanted to check on, but the idea of having some time to herself was too alluring to possibly risk by asking questions. And so she went upstairs, making a quick trip to the bathroom before heading to the bedroom across the way. Killianâs room was cozy, furnished with a neatly made king-sized bed with a navy comforter and one nightstand at each side, beige cabinets and drawers spread around the room, and a television parallel to the door. Much like Emmaâs room, there was a large window, though it thankfully wasnât broken.
Closing the door behind her, Emma sat down on the bed and put her head in her hands, finally letting out a half-hearted groan.
Killian was right: It had been a long day, and an even longer on for her.
This whole ordeal was harder than sheâd thought. When she first learned she and Killian were soulmates, Emma hadnât come to terms with it â she still hadnât â but at least she had a plan and didnât feel as tight knit to him as to make her feel too guilty about implementing it to stop herself from doing so. But the later afternoon and evening had exposed more than her prowess at board games.
It had exposed something of a normalcy. Were they together, she knew when times were good, that a day like this â the introductions and storm aside â could conceivably be what she could expect. The layout felt right enough: a trip to the fields, discoveries of even more personal stories, a night playing a game or even just watching TV together, and bantering all the while.
And Emma liked that. Talking with Killian was the most natural thing in the world. Even as she swallowed her insecurities through the hours she spent together, she could hardly say she was having a bad time throughout it. Spending time with him was fun. Killian was charismatic, but not too over-the-top and made the unexpected into an adventure just through his presence and sense of humor.
Yes, when times were good, Emma could see an ideal future with Killian Jones forever by her side.
The only troubling thing was the reality she was all too aware of: Times werenât always good, and of that inevitability, she had no vision of what could come to pass.
What was Killian like when he was sad or upset? What about when he was angry or was going through real misfortune? A couple of times throughout their games, Emma was tempted to test those emotions, but she didnât want to cause him harm, especially when he had done nothing to warrant it.
It was the exact same reason why she had continued to hold her tongue about the very matter of them being soulmates, and why she would continue to do so for however long sheâd have to.
Now how long will that be?
Emma checked her phone. She opened up the weather app and saw a rain symbol right under the word âTomorrow.â Of course, it wasnât indicative of whether or not the hurricane would continue, but the possibility still existed.
Another groan, this time closer to a whine came out.
Damnit. Not what I wanted to hear.
She took a pause and another deep breath. It would be hard â just as today was â but sheâd figure it out.
And so Emma picked herself up and settled herself into the left most and less lived-in side of Killianâs bed, all the while continuing to lick her proverbial wounds and try to plan for what the next morning might bring. The plush mattress underneath her form cozily ensnared her and the still whistling winds began to sing her their own kind of lullaby to the beat of the tapping rain against the roof.
Emma felt her upper eyelid start to succumb to its own weight, threatening to close. Just as she was about to let them, Killian stepped into the room, a glass of water in hand.
âThanks,â Emma murmured sleepily while he placed the glass at her nightstand. She looked at him and noticed an apprehensive expression across his features. âEverything okay?â
In an instant, Killianâs expression made a complete change, now appearing as if he were just caught.
âYes,â he dismissed. âEverythingâs alright.â
If Killian had hoped to fool Emma with what he said, he was wrong. However, the pull of sleep won out over any curiosity that she had for the matter, and she let it go.
Weâll talk tomorrow.
A duet of good nightâs filled the air, and as light left the room, so did all but the sounds of natures and snores.
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
CRAAAAAACK!
In the midst of ebony left shortly after a shockwave of brightness, Emma gasped, startled awake.
A fear of thunder had never been something she ever fully got over from her childhood uneasiness, but this outburst of the elements was a particularly loud one and took Emma out of her slumber with a single crack.
âYou okay?â a quiet whisper from beside her spoke.
âKillian?â Emma mumbled. She coughed once and composed herself. âIâm sorry,â she said, her volume restored. âDid I wake you up?â
âNo need to apologize,â he assuaged. âAnd no, I was up earlier from another bolt. Iâve never been great with thunder either.â
âYou could tell?â Even though she couldnât see her hand in front of her face, Emma could tell he was smirking as he heard her question.
âAs I said earlier, youâre an easy read.â
Not to mention, your soulmate.
And suddenly, Emma too notice of the scent of cinnamon in the air. It wasnât heavy, but what it was was hard to ignore.
She only hoped that Killian somehow had been able to do it.
Emma, biting her lip, checked her phone for the time. It was a little past two in the morning. That crack of thunder had fully woken her up and if Killian had been up for some time like he said he was, the same could definitely be said for him.
Great.
âMay I turn on a light?â Killian asked from across the darkness.
âYeah. Go for it.â A second later, the lamp from Killianâs nightstand lit up the room. It was bright enough to cause discomfort for a moment or two, but not enough to give that feeling of needing to start the day. Emma sat up in the bed, matching Killian who was already in the position. With her phone still in her hand, she tried looking at the weather app, but the service she had enjoyed all throughout yesterday was nowhere to be found.
âYou can thank the hurricane for that little inconvenience. The service went out at least an hour or two ago. Small towns, you know. Cell phone towers are the first thing to go. Iâm just glad we still have power, at least for now. Of course, if you need a phone, Iâve a landline downstairs. All yours.â
âNo thanks. I just wanted to see an update on the storm.â
âIâm afraid thatâs still up in the air.â As if to emphasize the point, a flash of lightning as well as an accompanying crack of thunder chose that moment to present themselves to the world. It wasnât as powerful as its predecessor, but it nonetheless had the both of them letting out a small shudder. As they locked eyes, they gave each other a comforting smile.
âHow bad was the one that woke you up?â Emma asked.
âNot too bad. Definitely not as loud as the one that got you, but to be fair, Iâm quite perceptive when it comes to sounds to begin with.â
Apart from a courteous chuckle, Emma said nothing and for a moment, a silence bubbled in the space between them. She looked out the window at the skies. It wasnât easy to see, but from what she could make out, the weather was just as violent, if not more so, than it was Hurricane Amelia first started up yesterday afternoon.
âIâm sorry youâre stuck here,â Killian said quietly.
Emma shrugged. âItâs fine,â she answered. Though careful to keep the lie off her tongue, Emma found that it was a task she found easy enough to do when she thought of her relative fortune given the circumstances. After all, a broken window aside, she was in a safe house in the middle of a harsh hurricane. âBesides, youâre a good host.â
âThank you,â Killian said. Emma took a glance at him and saw that he was biting his lower lip.
HeâsâŠnervous?
She was about to give voice to her concern when Killian beat her to the punch.
âCan I say something?â he asked.
âO-of course.â
âRemember last night, when you asked me when everything was alright, and I said it was?â Emma nodded, the memory as fresh as the apples on the trees outside. âWell, I lied,â he confessed.
âYeah, I figured. Just like I told you earlier, youâre not the hardest read either.â Killian gave a chuckle that was very much like the courtesy chuckle Emma gave him earlier, but otherwise remained quiet. At a closer look, Emma saw him once again biting his lip. âSo, whatâs up?â
âItâs just that I-â Killian stopped and took a deep breath before starting again. âEmma, Iâve noticed something.â
Oh crap.
As Emma listened to Killian and processed his words, she began to notice the speed at which her heart was beating. âO-oh?â she uttered. âWhatâs that?â
Killian, clearly too caught up in his own nerves, didnât seem to pick up on the fact that hers were shooting through the roof. âLast night, while we were playing, I realized I was smelling cinnamon all around the house.â
âYou mean from the tea?â Emma quickly suggested in a vain hope to deter Killianâs line of thought.
However, it didnât work.
âThatâs what I thought at first,â Killian explained. âBut Iâve been drinking that tea for years now, and itâs never been that powerful. Even when we finished, the smell was still there. So when you went up to the bedroom, I grabbed the mugs, but when I took a whiff out of mine, I could barely pick up the scent. The smell went from being everywhere to practically gone. Then I went back to my seat in the den and tried smelling for it. I even went outside to see if it was the machine. But nothing.â He stopped and took another deep breath and turned to Emma, the corner of his lips tugged up ever so slightly. âAnd then I thought of something you said back at the store.â
Oh crap.
âW-hat was that?â she asked as if she didnât already know.
âHow much you loved cinnamon,â he said simply. â So I came up with a little theory and tested it. I grabbed that glass of water for you and came upstairs and when I reached my roomâŠthe smell came back. It was just as potent as it was when you left.â
Oh crap.
Emma struggled to speak or even make a single noise.
âEmma,â Killian said, his volume just above a whisper. âI think weâre soulmates.â
As Killianâs â and unbeknownst to him, Emmaâs â truth proclaimed itself once and for all, only one thin went through Emmaâs head.
Oh crap!
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
For the first few seconds after Killian announced his and Emmaâs shared fate as soulmates, Emma felt her entire self go as blank as a sheet of paper. She found her ability to speak as nonexistent as a unicorn riding atop a dragon. Her thoughts blurred like the eyesight of a drunkard. Her hearing was muffled like a groan into a pillow.
Killian found out they were soulmates.
For as much as Emma had tried to prevent him from finding out the truth, she hadnât thought of how sheâd handle it when he eventually did.
But that time had finally arrived and now the best Emma knew that she could hope to do was try and hide the fact that she knew for as long as she did.
So when those mercilessly slow seconds at last passed, she realized sheâd need to react somehow to the news.
Here goes nothing.
A smile and a âyeahâ that was as excited as Emma could hope for was the response she settled on.
Right beside her, Killian was beaming, as ecstatic as Emma imagined he would be.
And as ecstatic as she feared he would be.
âI canât believeâIâd always hopedâAnd with youââ Killian was practically tripping over the words that came out of his mouth at a mile a minute. âThis is amazing!â he cried, the volume in his voice now bereft of its respect for the quiet of the early morning and was as loud as it wouldâve been in the middle of the day.
In the midst of Killianâs tornado of thrills, Emma did her best to get swept up in it too.
With the bounciness of a box of puppies, he certainly made it enticing to try.
As he talked, Emma made the effort. She pushed for a hearty laugh and she made her smile large enough to match his.
While not entirely for naught â doing as much as could be conceivably done for the ten seconds of work she could afford to give in the time she had â it did little to banish the butterflies in her chest.
Suddenly, through her cotton sweats, Emma felt a patch of heat gently pressed against her. She looked to her side and saw that Killian had placed his hand upon her forearm.
âIâm so happy,â he said, practically cooing. Emmaâs smile grew smaller, but at the same time, so much more sincere. âAre you?â
It was a tough question to answer.
Killianâs short term excitement shouldâve made her happy. His smile shouldâve made her happy.
And they almost did.
Key word:Â almost.
And there lied the problem.
Killian was a perceptive man. It was something he had proven himself to be throughout the past day and Emma knew better than to doubt it now. If she lied, heâd know it.
It was one thing to project a negative emotion onto something other than its intention. Emma was able to do it earlier on the orchard by feigning hunger. It was another thing to straight up lie about an emotionâs existence.
No matter how badly she wanted to feel it.
But it didnât stop her from trying.
âOf course,â she answered, fighting with all her might to will her words into fact.
Sadly though, despite her wish, it didnât take.
Killianâs face crinkled as he listened. His features darkened, his smile dissolved and his brows furrowed. âNo youâre not,â he said, so much conviction in his voice that Emma believed that he was as sure of the truth as the sun is sure of rising each day.
And the exposure of that one lie seemed to start a domino effect of doubt.
âEmma, you have been smelling something, right?â
At least I can tell the truth about this.
âI have,â she responded, her tone now matching his.
âWhen did you first notice it?â he asked immediately afterwards. There was an imperativeness to his words, but his eyes were pleading with her. They looked to be trying to find an excuse to reject the truth that was undeniably becoming so clear.
Emma worked to give him that truth, but Killian had clearly run out of patience.
âYouâŠyou said earlier that you didnât care for soulmates,â he pointed out. Emma saw him putting puzzle pieces together and finally, reaching the conclusion Emma was most afraid of. âEmma, Did you knowâŠthe whole time?â
No, it wasnât the whole time, but it was damn well over half of one and well past when Killian discovered it. To point out the difference would be meaningless.
So Emma said the only thing she could.
âIâŠâ Emma sighed. âI did.â
The effect was instantaneous. Killianâs lips seemed to be forming the word âwhy,â but couldnât get enough support from his diaphragm to give it any voice. He slid back down so he was once again lying in the bed. His eyes took on such a sad expression. Emma wasnât sure whether or not there was the start of welling tears, but there grew a certain puffiness to his eyes.
In short, he looked like sheâd just ripped his heart out of his chest, and hell, in that moment, she felt like thatâs exactly what she did.
Killian turned so that his back was to Emma. If Emma felt at a loss for what to say or do before, it was nothing compared to how she was feeling now. A verbal apology would do nothing, a touch would feel too intimate and raw, and now she couldnât even apologize with her eyes.
Before Emma could think anymore on it, Killian got up from the bed.
She knew she couldnât leave what had happened at that, but what exactly she wanted to say still left her struggling to convey properly. In the end, something that was a mix of a squeak and a protest came out of Emmaâs mouth, though it was as meager as the size of an antâs leg.
âI,â Killian started, cutting her off while not even looking at her with a hurt-strained voice. âI just need a minute.â
Out of his line of vision, Emma nodded, her mouth agape from the seemingly guiltlessness of how he went about his decision. Since yesterday afternoon when they had met, he had constantly given her a choice as to how heâd behave, whether formal or friendly. For the first time though, as heâd walked out of the bedroom door, he had taken the decision for himself alone.
As the door closed, vacating Killianâs form from her line of sight, so did the smell of cinnamon vacate Emmaâs nose.
And once it was gone â after staying with Emma in the midst of a hurricane â Emma realized just how much she missed its presence.
Emma, who remained sitting up in the bed, listened as the sound of creaking floors grew softer and softer. For the next hour, she continued doing just that, frozen with both regret for her lie and hope that at any second, sheâd hear him come back.
It was a childish presumption and after the shock and initial run of panic had worn off, it didnât take long for her to realize that.
So what am I supposed to do now?
Throughout their time together, Killian had only expressed a true desire for only one thing: His soulmate.
And for almost just as long, Emma knew exactly where he would find them and chose to withhold it.
Were they worth the guilt that was now cutting into her chest? Worse, were her fears worth the betrayal in Killianâs eyes or the destruction of the newly formed yet completely solid companionship they had built thus far? Were they worth the tells of doubt and worries of worthlessness that spread across his features like sand over a beach?
No, of course not. And now that the fallout had ensued, sheâd regretted making it so.
And it was now her job to fix it.
But how would she do it?
Was it better to give him his space, or should she talk to him before the situation became unfixable or at the very least too awkward to mend in a meaningful way?
As Emma pondered this, she realized that she ended up answering her own question and quietly, she got up from the bed and left the room.
The walk down the staircase had Emmaâs heart feel like it was thumping like a rabbitâs foot with nervousness and anticipation. It felt like a puzzle to not let the errant boards squeak, as if she would further hurt Killian by making any premature noise, and when it was at last over, she felt relief.
She found Killian sitting on the couch, a box of apple cider donuts in front of him. He didnât seem to register her presence, apparently too caught up in her own thoughts to do anything other than look down towards his hand and prosthetic.
As the scent of cinnamon returned once more, something that Killian either hadnât noticed or hadnât care any longer, a fresh pang of guilt attacked her: guilt over causing this and guilt that her nerves still had power over her even as she attempted to do damage control.
Should I be doing this?
Yes, she pushed herself. She should. A lie got her into this mess, and the truth would be what would hopefully set things right.
âHey,â Emma spoke softly. Killian blinked and turned to her. His mouth opened as if to speak, but ended up staying silent.
So Emma chose to fill the air instead.
âCan we talk?â
With his teeth pursed against his lips, Killian nodded and Emma sat down at his side.
âAre you mad?â
Killian let out a sigh, as if he was finally releasing a breath he didnât know he was holding. âIâŠI donât know. Confused, definitely. Hurt too. But- no,â he seemed to decide. âIâm not mad.â
For a moment, Emma desperately wanted to smile. Despite his suffering and what couldâve been justifiable anger, Killian had chosen to instead be kind to her and honest with himself.
Universe, this guy is way too good for me.
But she couldnât, for with every word Killian spoke, Emma felt her guilt pound at her like the wood beneath a judgeâs gavel, and despite knowing that Killian hadnât intended it, the pain was insufferable.
She was willing to bet that his pain could match it. After all, what does one think when their soulmate lies to them about it? Rejected? Unwanted? Like a trapeze artist who just lost their safety net in the midst of the circus?
Emma knew those feelings all too well.
Never had she imagined sheâd pass them along to someone else.
What do I do now?
âIâm sorry I lied, Killian,â Emma said. âThe whole soulmate thing, itâsâŠâ â how would she finish that? â âComplicated.â
Killian, despite Emmaâs every expectation, gave her a soft smile. It was as thin as a piece of angel hair spaghetti, but it said all that it needed to about whether or not heâd forgive Emma.
âIt could definitely be worse,â he commented, shrugging with a lightness in both his form and tone.
âReally?â
âRemember that big TV special about the soulmates who hated each others favorite smells and had to video chat just so they could stay together? Iâd say this is a touch easier.â
Heâs got a point there.
âYouâve got a point there,â she said, reflecting her thoughts perfectly.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. A jackrabbit on methamphetamine couldâve moved slower than Emmaâs thoughts. Killian had taken her lie and apology far better than Emma couldâve hoped for or even deserved.
But what would they do now?
Well, one thing was for certain: Emma needed to start explaining herself.
âI was going to tell you,â Emma explained. âNot during this trip, but I was planning on coming back to tell you.â
Killian nodded, apparently taking the information in.
âMay I ask you something, Emma?â
Emma knew what was coming, but nodded just the same.
âWhy donât you want to be soulmates?â The utterance was just as predictable and heart breaking as she expected it to be, and knowing that it was coming didnât help it feel any better. âIs it just the concept of soulmates in general, or is it me?â
âNo,â Emma practically shouted. âItâs not you.â
Well, not fully, but Iâll get to that.
Killian snorted, probably at the sheer loudness of her outburst. âGood to know. But why then?â
Emma took a deep breath. She hadnât told anyone about a good deal of this. Hell, some parts even Regina wasnât privy to.
And now she was about to tell Killian every bit of it, warts and all.
Well, he deserves the truth.
âI grew up in the foster system.â Another deep breath came to pass before Emma realized it. âBut you already knew that. What you donât know is that my parents left me on the side of the road.â Killian gave a nod, something Emma surmised was the best he probably felt he could do without coming off as pitying.
Sheâd be lying if she said it went unappreciated.
âWhen I was fourteen, a woman named Ingrid and her husband fostered me for a bit, and she and I grew close. We went on walks to the park, amusement parks, the pier. There was hardly a weekend we werenât together. I really thought sheâd adopt me. But then, one day, a social worker came and just like that, I was off again, with hardly a goodbye from her.â
Killian made eye contact with Emma, signaling to his hand as if asking permission to use it to comfort her. Emma gave him permission with another light nod, and Killian delicately placed his hand on her shoulder.
âEmma,â he said. âYou donât have to do this. Itâs okay if you want to stop.â
âItâs alright,â she said. âI want to. This is justâŠâ
âA lot,â Killian finished.
âYeah.â Emma took another deep breath. âBesides, you told me a bit of your story. The least I can do is give you a glimmer of mine.â Emma found herself able to smile at that homage to KIllianâs words. And just like Emma, Killianâs hand drifted to his heart.
Maybe we really are soulmates.
âI dealt with it and moved on â donât get me wrong. After I made it through the foster system, I moved to a nice town, made friends, and got a good job. And then a month ago, I got a message from her on Facebook. She had looked me up and invited me to come to her house. So I went, hoping to get some answers.â
âAnd did you?â
Emma bit her lip and nodded. âYeah,â she said, the volume of her voice only a touch above a whisper. Killian gave her shoulder a small squeeze, and she melted into the touch.
âSo what happened?â he prompted.
âI got right to the point and asked her why she gave me up.â
Killian gave a light smirk. âYouâre the blunt type,â he excused when Emma gave him a raised brow.
Fair enough.
In keeping with that very same blunt nature, Emma continued. âShe had a lot to say on the subject. Turns out she wanted me, but her husband didnât. He had commitment issues, according to Ingrid. Foster care was their compromise, but the idea of actually adopting a kid? That was a different story. Ingrid loved me, but her soulmate Spencer didnât and there was no way sheâd be able to adopt me alone on an ice cream ladyâs salary. And so I went back into the system.â
âI imagine that didnât bode well for Ingrid and Spencer.â
âYouâd be right,â she said. âAfter I left, apparently things went south with Spencer.â
âAnd they were soulmates,â Killian repeated. Emma nodded.
âIngrid said she used to smell fresh mowed grass every day before she and Spencer split up, but unless the gardeners show up, she hasnât had a whiff of it since, and when she does, she can barely stand it.â Killian moved his arm from Emmaâs shoulder onto her arm and the warmth of a tender squeeze graced her skin again.
âSwan ââ
Emma lifted a hand to stop Killianâs words early, silently begging him to let her keep going. Killian closed his mouth, and she continued on.
âBefore I left her house last month, Ingrid warned me about soulmates and love and all of it. She told me soulmates were like two scoops of unlabeled ice cream. You could get two that complement each other perfectly, like vanilla or chocolate, or you could get two that go together like cilantro lime and carrot top.â
âAre those actually ice cream flavors?â Killian had a face that was just as silly as his question was.
Emma, at a loss for words, albeit for an entirely different reason, gave Killian a look that screamed of exasperation with another raised eyebrow for emphasis.
Killianâs expression lost its hold, though its kindness remained as it was. âJust trying to lighten the mood.â
âYouâd be surprised what ice cream can taste like,â Emma said, indulging him. Then, remembering her point, she sighed. âBut you get it right? I mean, weâre soulmates, sure, and youâre great, but I- with what happened- how can we know if we belong together? Soulmates usually work out, but sometimes they donât and I donât want to end up like Ingrid. And I know that itâs just one time, but it just got me thinking: Whatâs going to happen when things get tough? Right now even, we live six hours away from each other and I donât even know if either of our careers would allow us to move. JustâŠwith the odds against us like they are, itâs..â When she was finally done speaking, she took a deep breath, finally allowing an admittedly very patient Killian to take the floor.
âItâs just got you nervous,â Killian finished.
Emma gave him a light smile. âYou know me well.â
âBetter now that weâre really talking.â
âAnd what do you think of me now?â
âThat youâre an intelligent woman, although you could stand to trust a bit more.â Emma massaged the bridge of her nose with her fingers and after a moment, her entire hand encapsulated her face as she openly groaned into it.
Heâs not wrong.
âYou also understand love in a different way than I do, and thatâs not a bad thing,â Killian continued. âThank you for telling me your story. And I get why youâre so skittish at the idea of us being soulmates.â Emma removed her hand from her face.
âI know you want one,â Emma said. âYou wanted someone whoâd always be with you and live up here on the farm and survive everything with you. Iâm just not sure if I can be that. Thatâs why I kept quiet. I just wanted some time to figure out what to say after I told you the truth.â
âAnd it was just a hope, but hopes can change.â
âBut how much of your hopes are you willing to bargain with? I donât even know what the answer would be with me.â
It was true. Emma liked her affordable and established home in Storybrooke. She liked being close to Regina, the closest thing to family she had. And while her job certainly had its hit-or-miss days â though she reminded herself that no job didnât have that â she liked it more than she didnât and it was the first career she felt sheâd ever been truly good at.
Even if things worked out with Killian, could she see herself giving all of that up? And if not, would there be room for compromise or would they just fall apart?
So much of her didnât want to find that out.
And suddenly, she felt that same racking of nerves that she allowed to control her all throughout yesterday.
âEmma,â Killian called. She looked up at him.
Guess I got caught up in my own head.
âYouâre getting caught up in that head of yours,â he mock chided. Emma took a deep breath.
âAnyone ever tell you youâre too good at that?â
âI have a feeling youâre about to,â he countered, smirking. âEmma, I honestly understand what youâre talking about.â
âYou do?â
âMore than you would think,â Killian commented. He bit his lip and Emma by now was more than well aware of his own tell of nervousness. âRemember when I told you about my parents?â
Emma nodded slowly. âYeah. You said they were gone, but one more than the other?â
âIndeed I did,â he concurred. âMy mother died when my brother and I were young. She said she and my father were soulmates and that sheâd smell a freshly printed pound every day when he came home from work, just as heâd recount the smell of the sea whenever he was by her side to us.â
âIt didnât last?â
âNo. Shortly after her death, he left us. Apparently, he loved the smell of pounds so much, that he made off with a briefcase of them one day, but forgot us on the way out. While I didnât get to spend much time with my mother, I know sheâd never have wanted that.â
âYouâre right,â Emma agreed. âI canât see anyone related to you whoâd do that.â
âThen Iâm happy to know I take more after her then. Anyway, Liam and I did a lot of traveling when we were on our own, and do you know what I discovered along the way?â
âBloody Ploughmans?â Emma quipped.
âSmart ass,â Killian shot back, smiling all the while. âNo, Emma. Soulmates. All kinds. Ones that worked out, and ones that didnât. Ones that were divorced, widowed, went off into the sunset, and everything in between. And I realized what made the good ones good and the bad ones bad: Effort. Emma, even soulmates are still human, and no matter what, humans will do as humans do. What will make us work or not work will be the effort we give to each other. And I like you, Emma. I like you a lot. I promise that if we try, Iâll work with you night and day to build a future and a life together.â
Suddenly, Emma felt a weight on her hand, very much like the one she felt hours ago when Killian first discovered their shared destiny.
âSo can we at least try?â he finished.
Emma took in what he said. She took in everything â about him, about her, about her past, about his past, about the smell of cinnamon that permeated every bit of air that they breathed, and about their hearts. And in between it all, a fight ensued from within her. Pulses nervous and infatuous lunged for each other like two wrestlers in a championship.
Finally, when she was at last done taking things in, and one set of emotions finally overcame the other, she took one last cinnamon-filled deep breath and gave her answer.
âOkay. Letâs try.â
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Emma ended up staying at Jones Farms for another three days. Together with Killian, they endured the remaining gusts and shocks of Hurricane Amelia and after it passed, began rebuilding the thankfully not-too-tattered parts of the farm side-by-side.
With every second that passed â through a greatly-needed nap following their heart-to-heart, a power outage, lots of conversations, and even another game of Monopoly â Emma felt herself feeling more comfortable with the idea of a soulmate, and thus, more in love with Killian as he showed her just the kind of soulmate he would be.
Killian had truly proven himself to be a man of his word, taking the initiative and bringing up uncomfortable subjects that Emma introduced that night such as how often theyâd see each other and where they would live if things worked out.
When things worked out. That had been Emmaâs push for herself. Because before the evening of their third day together, Emma had truly believed in a when for them.
And all throughout their days and nights, the rich aroma of cinnamon embraced her senses, only now, instead of queasiness that came from fears of the future, it brought on the same warmth one would get from a hearth, a symbol of the love sheâd choose to let reside there in its place.
They wouldâve continued, but dinner time had interrupted their bubble of isolation with something borderline unwelcome: A new client for Emma. Though she tried to give herself reasons to decline, the reality was that she couldnât live on love alone.
Regardless of her decision, the idea was tempting.
But even Killian had supported the idea of returning to Storybrooke, and that all but solidified her answer.
âItâll just go to prove what I already suspect,â he said. âWe can overcome everything, especially a little separation.â
And so it was agreed, albeit reluctantly. Connections were made on every platform from their phones to their Facebook accounts and after a final connection in the bedroom, they were ready to leave each other.
Or as ready as they were ever going to be.
They stood in the front of Jones Farms â and Emma swore it was the spot where theyâd first shook hands â as they said goodbye.
âI need to get back,â Emma moaned, more at herself than anyone else, especially Killian.
âI know,â Killian said, smiling sadly.
Emma found that it was so hard to pull away. There was a comfort with Killian, just like a spot of shade under an apple tree, and she didnât want to lose it.
No. I wonât lose it.
âBut Iâll be back soon,â she reminded both Killian and herself.
âAnd Iâll be waiting on bated breath until you do.â
Killian cupped Emmaâs face and Emma leaned into the touch. Hardly another second passed before she closed the already small distance between their lips once more.
Like velcro being opened, Emma found it damn near impossible to separate from Killian, but it was done all the same, though their eyes stayed locked until Emma finally drove off and she was willing to bet that Killianâs remained on her for as long as her bug remained in view.
But despite that longing to be together once more and the pain that came with the wait until then, they relaxed, for they knew theyâd be embracing the welcome smell of cinnamon soon.












