#raphmazins

Everything was set up, I met Gabrielle, we rung at "Mister Loew"'s door, I kissed him and pushed him back into his flat, I closed the door while he kissed her - he still was a bit of an ass-guy, eve with women, it seemed. There were a few words exchanged, Gabrielle got used to Henoch's dick in record time and she did become rather flustered at being filled both ways. Henoch still liked to be commanded around, especially in round two. And that was that, I supposed. They both were exhausted enough, she had slept in with her head on his adorably  hairy chest... he with an arm wrapped around both our waists. All right! I climbed out of bed, he put his other arm around her as well. He shall enjoy that before she wakes halfway up and struggles free. Anyway. The condoms were all removed and appropriately in the garbage bins, I applied a blanket to the both of them... and then tiptoed out of there. Mission success! Or at least a night of good sex had happened. And Henoch was a morning-after guy. So that would certainly work out. Meanwhile, I let myself out and ascended to the top floor. I was glad to come home and see the silver haired beanpole at the table, scribbling notes. "I see you had an exciting evening," I said, toeing my shoes off. I was faced with a towel. Literally. Because he had thrown it over my head. Kind of impressive, from half the room away. When I had pulled it down, he said: "Take a shower this time, then you can lurk around" So open to conversation... I rolled my eyes and - for peace of home - did just that. Admittedly, it felt nice to be... clean. Sweat drying on your skin actually is just as unappealing as it sounds like. ... but the satisfied tiredness goes, too. And any semblance of good mood, since one is supposed to sleep after sex. At least after exhausting sex. So he would have to cheer me up now. At least with company. As insufferable as he was. I walked out with a towel around my hips and opened my mouth. "Your pyjamas are in the lefthand-side shelf," he said, oly looking up for a second. I closed my mouth again, scowled and then opened it again to say: "Can't you at least let me make a quip?!" With a huff, I still turned around and got... "Raph, this is a ball of fluff" "True," he said. And that was that. The ball of fluff turned out to be a hoodie. Which didn't scratch. And pants. Which were reasonably un-fluffy on the inside. Then I stepped out: "Why did you feel the need to dress me as a labradoodle?" Since I certainly felt like one. "What... is that supposed to be?" He frowned at me. But then shook is head and made a beckoning motion: "Come here" He patted the sofa space next to him. What was happening? But alright. I walked over, careful not to topple his tower of notes: "Alright, beanpole, what's up?" He grabbed a pillow and put it on his lap, patted that as well. ... after ten seconds of staring, I said, doubtful: "Should I... sit down on your lap?" It was unlikely, since he still had his book. "What? No!" He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me sideways, putting my head on his lap. I let it happen, since I was still confused. And... well... I couldn't say he ever did something to harm me. Now he put a blanket on me. I pulled my legs up. Then I cleared my throat: "You.. .are aware this is... odd, yes?" "Oh. Yes. But you are odd. And whenever you come home after you had sex, you start moping and annoy me. And the next morning, there is always oatmeal" "... you realise nothing of this explains what just happened. Anyway, did you just admit to *not liking* something? Food-wise?" But at least the PJs were comfy. He handed me my phone and earbuds and said, with an eyeroll in his voice: "Oatmeal is perfectly fine, but it's... a weird consistency. Slimey. Anyway. You need some more oxytocin" I wriggled one earbud in and put on a few calm tunes: "... so you put me in your lap" He actually had a food-preference. Maybe he was not a robot after all. "Yes. And put you in soft, warm fabric," he resettled himself a little, taking a smaller book in his hand. And the other... went into my hair. "... are you petting me?" I had almost startled away from the touch. And sounded incredulous, even to my ears. There was a bit of a defensive tone when he said: "You let a lot of people touch you. And this should work" ... I noticed I didn't mind. Ah well: "Work how?" "Well, you should be less annoying and have a better mood tomorrow morning," he continued the pets, but took a different place every few seconds. I yawned. Then said: "You're using me as a test subject" "Then I botched it. If you are aware it's a test it's likely not working," he flipped a page in his small book, one handed. "... you're still totally keeping notes" "Maybe," he shrugged. "I'll totally still annoy you," I'd tell him all about this night. In all the ways it totally had worked. "I'm counting on it," he ruffled my hair. If I woke up with a crick in my neck, I could still murder him.

He continued to clean the coffee maker then: "You know? I am listening, you'll alert me if you actually want participation in this monologue" It was just as well, I did feel sulky, so I said: "You, for example, are a stickler for rules. You keep things nice and tidy and orderly. You think a job well done is worth it. You like when people listen and think they should listen to you. You have a certain authority, you like to exert it, but are tired of it at the end of the day. You need someone to command you around a little, someone to please. You want a real relationship... and you are quite sexually repressed" He cleared his throat there: "I can throw you out, you know?" "But in a cute way. Very interesting when you get experimental," I shrugged, easily. And the tip of his ears grew darker. Difficult to see with his complexion, but I got some experience. But now he decided to get mean: "... I can put salt in your coffee" Which was fair. "So, well, my roommate is also a stickler for rules! And he does commandeer people in certain areas. And he is nothing but polite to my lady guests, never flirts back when they see him in the morning, all impeccable and gentlemanly. So I suggested you, because... as I told you just now, that might have worked!" He lifted and shook the salt a little. "Anyway. He was not interested, but insisted I put the cleaning schedule back where I found it, told me he appreciates your sense of order, did remember you" Henoch nodded: "He is a respectable young man" "You appreciate quite a few not-respectable features of young m-NOnonoono, not the coffee! I'll shut up!" I pulled it towards me when he approached it, bringing crystalline doom to my beverage. Holding the cup close to my chest, I huffed: "He never sleeps and he cleans up messes and he's polite and he studies all the time and he eats whatever I give him without complaint and he's just... there. He doesn't give me a hard time, ever. It's just easy to live with him. And if I try to give him a little bit of a hard time, it barely affects him" A button is pressed and the machine starts to make the huffing noises it does when cleaning itself. He turned around and looked at me for a moment: "You're mad that you don't get a rise out of him" "It's fun to rile people up! And you get to know them better!" I might have gotten a little agitated, there, but ended with just a tiny grumble. Henoch was way too amused: "Well, he apparently gets a rise out of you" "... it's frustrating. He gets a little terse sometimes, sure, but nothing flusters him and nothing actually agitates him. He's just... there. Like a robot," and it was annoying. My barista had sat down now (sans salt-weapon) and nursed his own tea, looking at me patiently. I looked back, getting more annoyed by the second. After a long sip, he finally said: "Oh! I can talk now?" Well, I had that one coming, didn't I? After one more pause, he said, after clearing his thought: "He was a very sensible and friendly young man when I met him. Very polite, too. He told me of some concerns and specifically requested the upmost floor, was delighted when there was a space in your flat. So... make of that what you will. But how about your talk to him? He doesn't see like an unreasonable person and that much frustration can not be good for you" I stared at him: "... you would like me some more frustra-NO!" I stared at the poor coffee in my hands. "There. Have a very *sweet* day, so you can calm down. And not bother any innocent bystanders too much" Maybe I deserved my sweetened coffee. Maybe. "Thanks" "See you later. Maybe," he had the audacity to smirk at me. ... I probably did need to talk to my roommate.

The urge to one day just break into his bedroom rose. But... I couldn't do that, either. After all, he did kind of make my life... easier. So. Mh. When I walked home the next day, I walked past the cleaning schedule. And decided to take it with me. When dinner rolled around this time - I made a salad, he seemed to be able to munch that right away. spread croutons and chicken in it, to actually give him some substance. I joined him a minute into his crunching with a hamburger. And slid the schedule towards him: "It's our turn to clean the floors next month" He stared at the schedule, then frowned a little: "You took this from the whiteboard floor below" Which... was true. So he studied those, at least: "... so you knew about that" "Yes, but you took it with you, didn't photograph it" "Well, we are the last ones, no one else needs the schedule anyway," this wasn't the point of- He frowned some more - while munching - and said: "It's to inform everyone" "You know, you should talk to the landlord, he's the same way about schedules. And he's handsome!" I wriggled my brows, because I could always do that. He huffed and munched some more: "Mister Loew certainly would not appreciate being judged like this" "Ooooooh, so you did appreciate his handsomeness!" Raphael looked tired for a moment: "He explained to me the cleaning schedule, and he's our landlord, there is nothing to 'appreciate', he simply keeps his schedules since he takes good care of the house" Ah. That. ... I still didn't know a damn thing about him. Great. He ate the carrots last. That was something, right?

And I laughed. What a start.