#raphael fic

The sword slipped from her grip unexpectedly. She hadn’t meant to let go and the sound of it clattering on the palace floor is disconcertingly loud in the cavernous chamber. Tav stares at her empty palm for a moment, dazed and exhausted.

The battle for Avernus had been fierce and bloody. And long. Time moved differently in the Hells and with no sun or moon it felt even longer. Has she been fighting a day? A tenday? A year? Swallowing, hardly aware of the taste of ash and blood, Tav stood straighter and shook her head as if surfacing from a dream. She had to focus.

Where was Raphael?

Her heartbeat began to pound in alarm. Her breaths came in shorter bursts as alarm slipped into panic.

They had won, hadn't they? The violence of the encounter between Zariel and Raphael had shaken the foundation of the entire palace. When Zariel had fallen the entirety of Avernus had felt it in their bones as her hold was released. Like a grip on your heart that you didn't know was there until it was gone.

So where was Raphael?

Shaking off the ugly sense of foreboding that clawed at her, Tav swept her sword off the floor and stepped nimbly between the corpses she had felled.

The palace was so quiet. After Zariel had fallen there had been chaos as her army splintered; her chain of command trying to maintain some sense of control while hordes of hellish creatures seized their sudden freedom and ran. Not all had fled however, the scattered bleeding and smoking bodies attested to some infernal loyalty still at play within Zariel’s ranks.

Or, Tav thought grimly, perhaps they wanted a chance to seize Avernus for themselves.

Beneath her boots the polished stone of Zariel’s palace was filthy and the deeper into the beast she roamed, the more smeared with blood and bile it became. At last she approached the throne and nearly sagged to the floor in relief.

Raphael, enormous in his ascended fiend form, sat on Zariel’s throne. Around him lay the bodies of those he had sundered. It could have been a hundred or a thousand carcasses, Tav wove through and around them without seeing them, her eyes fixed on her quarry.

He sat somewhat awkwardly and the closer she got the reasoning became more apparent. Large gashes littered his frame, several still bleeding sluggishly. Standing on the dias of the throne Tav paused to inspect him more carefully. His eyes were dim with exhaustion, when he exhaled the air wheezed from between his jaws bordering on a whine. Across his chest a wound so deep she could see the black of his bones had her stomach clenching in horror.

“Raphael?” Her voice felt too small and too human to be uttered in this place. The devil hardly seemed to notice her, his eyes drawn down, expression almost...lost.

At his feet lay the corpse of Zariel herself, a ruin of torn flesh and bones.

Drawing closer Tav placed a hand on her lover’s jaw and with a snap of his neck he was looking at her, hellfire thrumming in his veins.

When he took her in he sagged, eyes shutting. “I forgot,” he began, his voice a rough growl, more beast than man in this form. The words slithered into her mind.

Her reserves were depleted. And even now, with his body tattered, Raphael held more power in his claw than she would ever hold in her entire body. But it physically hurt her to see him so flayed and so she mustered her will and pressed a spell into his flesh, ignoring the way her vision swam and her body trembled.

“What did you forget?" she asked.

“Raphael?” She prompted when it seemed he was only going to continue staring at her.

He shook his mighty head. He transformed into his cambion form, the heat of his magic a balm to her frazzled nerves. He glanced down at Zariel but though that's where his gaze was fixed, in his eyes she saw him travel still farther away.

“I forgot how she could get in your mind…manipulate what you saw. I–” The cambion frowned. “She showed me visions, I watched you fall in battle.” His lip curled in a snarl. “A hundred times, a thousand. Every fiend she sent at me had your face…I thought I–”

Tav grabbed his face before he could look away, before he could hide how the idea of her demise had distressed him. She shushed his protest and pushed her face to his. This close she could just barely smell the cherries under the blood and smoke. It brought a smile to her cracked lips.

“I’m here,” she soothed. He moved, and while she expected her surly lover to push her away or brush her aside he surprised her again when instead his arms encircled her and tugged her closer.

Straddling his thighs and sliding her arms around his neck Tav felt the last of her strength give out. Her already blurry vision darkened but strong arms tightened around her, holding her to his chest securely.

Giggling, you try to push him away from you, but he only holds you tighter against him while proceeding to cover your face with his little kisses. "Come on, doesn´t my little mouse like kisses?"

He suddenly lifts you up in his arms and presses his face into your chest as you squeck and grab his shoulders, afraid to fall down.

"Raphael!" You try wiggling out of his hold but to no avail. He´s determined to bring your thoughts onto something completely different, even if it´s only for some minutes.

Suddenly there´s a knock on the door and the dwarven woman walks in. "They´ve left-" both you and the woman stare at each other with wide eyes.

Your cheeks heat up, and the whole situation makes you incredibly embarrassed. Raphael simply turns his head to his assistant while still holding you in his arms.

"That´s fine, they will come back. Everything to its proper time, Korilla." he mumbles, and the woman doesn´t even bother to ask who you are or what you´re doing here and just leaves.

The man turns around and lays you down on the bed, only for him to follow suit.

He puts his head on your chest while you try to calm down from the embarrassment. "Don´t worry, she works for me. There's no need to act coy now." he squeezes your belly while mumbling into your chest.

Your hands find their way to his hair and start petting it, to which he gives a peaceful hum.

"We still need to talk..." you whisper, hoping not to anger him again or make him run away like last time.

Sighning, he props himself up so that each hand is by your sides while his knees are beside your hips, practically caging you in.

"I don´t want to freak you out... You're my little mouse, and what will become of me when I scare my precious mouse away?" his voice and eyes hold so much sadness it´s as if he is certain that you´ll leave him for whatever he's about to reveal to you.

You offer him a small smile, "but I´ve promised you to stay with you, no matter what..."

Raphael gives you a sad smile to that, not believing you.

Suddenly, fire wraps around his body, and a high-pitched scream leaves your body as you shut your eyes and take your hands away.

Hesitantly, you open your eyes again, and before you, is a red-skinned devil with four horns.

Opening your mouth only to shut it close because you do realize that it's your Raphael, but why is he a devil?

His wings spread behind him so the only thing you´re seeing right now is red.

Slowly, you touch his face with your fingertips as tears well up in your eyes. Raphael shuts his eyes in pain. He can´t bear seeing your tears, especially if it´s because of him.

You feel his heat radiating from his body, and you´ve never guessed that the presence of a devil could be this comforting, but somehow you feel betrayed and lied to.

"Why haven´t you told me sooner?"

Raphael opens his eyes again, sighning he leans into your hand. "Because that what we had was too precious to destroy." He admits truthfully. And the way he's speaking as if your relationship is over breaks your heart.

Your mind should be racing. You should be mad for hiding this, and the fact that this whole time, he has been a devil whom you've shared intimate moments with, should be scaring you.

Yet you still trust him.

Biting your lip as you blink away the small tears. Your hands wander above to his horns, touching them softly to which Raphaels eyes brighten up.

"Will you accept me? "

His voice breaks, and you can't help the ache in your heart. "Of course I will, youve showen me much more kindness and love than any other human I know, but don't think you'll get away with this." You try to lighten the mood.

You sit up from under him and he does it as well. Only now do you realize how much bigger his devil body is even though he's still sitting.

You take his hand into yours and admire his claws, wondering if he could still be as gentle as in his human body or if he might accidentally scratch you with them.

"I need to be honest," you start "I'm happy that you're not hiding a family or an another wife beside me" you take a deep breath "but from now on you'll need to be truthful with me."

Raphael shifts closer with a relived expression. "This," he gestures to his body, "is the only thing I've been lying to you about and the reason I'm like this is because my mother died was because she decided to have a kid from an archdevil Mephistopheles... who is my father."

You bring your hand up to his cheek while you squeeze his hand. "It must have been so hard for you."

Slowly accepting the fact that even if he's a devil, he's still your raphael. The one who is always so gentle, polite, and always there for you.

He picks you up and seats you on his lap, hugging you very tightly as if you're about to run away. Your head tugged under his chin, and after some seconds you can feel his tears falling on your hair.

His body is trembling, and you guess this has been affecting him more than you would have imagined. Your hands wrap around him and pet his back while his wings come around you two, wrapping you two up.

It's been the longest you haven't seen him, and it's only a matter of time until you go crazy from the ache in your heart.

Perhaps you should have said something different, praising him or not open up the topic again, especially in the morning.

But you couldn't hold back. You just wanted to make sure that he's alright, and what better way can you ensure that than through communication.

Pouring yourself a cup of tea to help you calm down.

What is he hiding from you? Another family? You don't think that's likely. He doesn't even wear a ring, and if he truly had another family he wouldn't be able to spent so much money and time on you.

A disease? Perhaps he has an untreatable sickness, which will kill him soon, but he always seems so healthy and fit. But some are hidden well, and you can't suppress the shudder going through your body. In denial, you tell yourself that that's definitely not true.

Blowing on your tea, you think about the conversation. He did ask you if you'd love him if he was a devil.

Like a murderer? You bite your lower lip and realise that the thought doesn't scare you off as much as it should be. Perhaps if he's only killing the bad people, then it would be alright because he wouldn't be any different than the guards, especially since gortash is in lead now. But that's also very unlikely his hands are always so gentle with you, never grabbing you with too much strength or shoving you, not even accidentally.

Small, frustrated tears start to roll down your face as you try to find the correct answer to the problem.

Why would he just leave like that? Did he decide that it would be best to just break things up without talking first?

Perhaps you were only something he could spend his time with when he felt bored, but then why would he tell you about his father? To gain sympathy? But what for? He could practically have anyone by his side, he's handsome, he has the money and he's smart so why would he work so hard to make you like him.

Stupid Raphael, you'll show him not to mess with you like this. He should have talked with you first, come xlean with you, and then only then could he decide to leave you.

Wiping your tears away as your lips leave a frustrated groan, taking deep breaths to calm your racing mind, trying to focus on where he might work today. You know that his location depends on the client he's working with, so there's no office you could just straight up walk into.

However, you also know that he prefers to work with the nobels and sometimes adventurers.

It might be a lot of work to walk into the city and ask people about Raphael, and its not like you can just go up to the Nobel and ask them without them kicking you out.

But on the other hand you've already finished your chores around the house and you haven't been in the city center of baldrus gate for a long time.

You might even pick up some fresh fruits and vegetables on your way there.

Nodding and filled with confidence, you forget your tea on the counter and go put on your coat and scarf as it's getting colder while taking your basket with some money. You step out of the comfort of your home to find raphael and have a talk with him.

I'm having so much fun writing this, it's like I'm surprising myself with that going to happen next hahaha and yes I'd say my mind works in wonders hahaha

Raphaels body is stiff and you feel the atmosphere growing with tension.

"You little-" he starts but bites his lips to try and calm himself down, "what were you thinking?" He takes his arm out of your hug and turns around, his face in a deep frown and his lips in a thin line.

You fidget with your hands, "I was worried and you just left without notice"

Raphael scrunched his face as if disgusted by your words "listen" you try again but he's quick to interrupt you "so you thought it would be a grand idea to spy on me? Follow me?!" His voice rising at the end.

Taking some steps back and looking up at him feeling a little scared, it's the first time Raphael was ever harsh with you. You can't find the right words to say in this situation. It's obviously your fault. You could have waited until the group left without you eavesdropping.

Raphael softens his gaze on you, seemingly not proud of scaring you off like this. Its cute he thinks, that you'd go through the city to find him, even being worried about him is a little bit amusing to him. He needs to remind himself that you don't know that he's not someone who would die or get hurt easily.

He opens his arms giving you a small apologetic smile and you immediately jump into his arms, pressing your face into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Raphael, please don't be mad at me, I know it's my fault but you've left me alone for too long" you explain yourself and give him a little squeeze on the side.

He can't help but chuckle at this. "I'm not mad. I've just overreacted. How could I ever be mad at my little mouse, " patting your back for some comfort.

You smile against him as you bring your hands up to his chest. Pushing yourself a bit away from him but not enough to break his arms away from you so that you could have a proper look on his face.

"You don't need to work here... if you need financial support, we could think of something together as a team, honey"

You bite your lip, waiting for his reaction, but he looks back at you with confusion. "I've heard what this group was requesting, something with tentacles, and I don't know if you're into this kind of thing, but I'm guessing not. So there's no need for you to work here."

His mouth falls open before he shakes his head. "You think I'm a prostitute?" You only nod to that.

Raphael doesn't know whether he should laugh or bury you six feet under for thinking that he would do this kind of work.

"Little mouse, I can assure you I'm not into this kind of business I just needed this room for this specific group..." he explains still a bit taken aback.

A little "oh" leaves your lips as your cheeks grow red at the thought of your Raphael wearing those skimpy pretty outfits which are common in this line of work.

He puts his hands hands in your cheeks, squeezing them, and he shakes his head. "No, I forbid you to ever think about this"

Avoiding his gaze as you feel caught and shut your eyes to which he gives you a little kiss on the corner of your lips.