never see yourself preparing for trial in your own rape
The trial will probably be in the fall, they say. My summer will consist of things like permissible evidence hearings and mock trials to practice how I hold up under an experienced lawyer trying to make me appear unhinged and/or a liar, while professionally attempting to invoke disgust towards me. It will also consist of wonderful times with family, creating things and forming new friendships. I'm still one of the luckiest people alive, but that is disgusting, that shit hurts and I deserve better than that. We all deserved better than that and every current and future survivor deserves better than that. May we never stop finding ways to be part of the solution and may we stop forcing survivors to live in silent shadow by treating them like their attempts to seek justice or speak up for themselves are inappropriate or that they deserve to be immediately put on trial as well. It's rarely a true "he-said/she-said".. if the true nature of manipulation, intimidation tactics, deceptions of rescuing, common ways trauma effects people and other basic irrefutable facts that experts have learned via scientific method was not hidden behind ancient rhetoric and outdated moral codes from before paternity or STDs could easily be detected... If it wasn't hidden behind resentment for the victim of the horror show reminding us our existential state of affairs and the powerful trying to keep a cloak of confusion and darkness over their true tactics. It's long winded now but still necessary. The misinformed masses are the biggest enablers of rape and other exploitation.
