Jan Heine: Hey Mike Kone of Boulder Bicycles, did I ever tell you about the time when I was well into a short 300K morning jaunt feeling particularly peckish?

Mike Kone: I don't think you ever did take time out from editing Bicycle Quarterly to tell me that story, Jan.

Jan: Well, as I said, I was well into a short 300K morning jaunt straight up Mount Ginourmous here in the beautiful Northwest and I as feeling particularly peckish. I was fortunate enough to find a pharmacy in the Swiss-themed Washington town of La Chaux-de-Fonds-en-Mont-Ginourmous that carried Le Sustinance Magnifique which, as you know, is the French equivalent of Ensure. So I picked up two bouteilles.

Mike: I'll bet with the help of "cyclistes petite aide" you were able to make quick work of the remaining morning ride.

Jan: It was either the bouteilles or the tacos. It was a tough ride, even for a morning 300K jaunt. Some of the roads were particularly rough.

Mike: Without your wide 650b tires and low-trail geometry frame, I don't know how you would have done it!

Jan: That's right! If my 650b Hetre tires had not soaked up the bumps like they did, I'm sure I would have been down at least half a taco to suspension losses.

Mike: And I can't imagine the disaster if you had attempted such a feat with a slanted top tube.

Jan: Not so fast, Mike. If you remember our double blind tests, we found that a sloped top tube can be particularly efficient, but only at night. The horizontal top tube only maintained its advantage during the day.

Mike: Of course, I had completely forgotten about issue 23b! WIth that new information about top tube angles relative to sunlight, we had a particularly tough time recommending the proper equipment for summertime tours above the Arctic Circle.

Jan: Well good luck with that. Did you end up building that 650b fat bike frame you were talking about?

Mike: Jan, how can you forget the triple blind testing that your colleague, Mark Vande Kamp did with our replica of the classic mid-40s French Azuesiette style tourer? Especially given the surprising results at how well suited that style of frame was to modern Arctic touring?

Jan: Of course, the Azuesiette with its lovely patina and all those custom proprietary parts! Monsieur Azuesiette was a postal worker, sick of the snowy Parisian streets who retired to the North of France. There, he quickly mastered the art of frame building at his fat tire bike shop.