Novembre 11 2020
Process.
Today I read in a creative writing prompt book that something that often blocks the creative process is not fully trusting your instincts. When I read this, it hit a nerve. something more tender than I care to admit. but it was a wound that this sentence made me realize I had within me.
I’ve been feeling frustrated. Feeling like I have words that are stuck inside and I’m growing impatient with myself and my process. Feeling that the deadline I imposed has long expired and I’m running against a clock. I also think this clock is something that my mind calibrated based on where I think other creatives are around me.
I often say “I don’t know” after sharing my thoughts, as if to say that I’m not sure of myself. But sometimes I do, but I say I don’t know anyways. I think this default ‘stutter’ is exposing this doubt that has been plaguing my own view of my instincts.
When did doubt infiltrate my instinct? What happened to me? How do I undo it? How do I re-engage it and nurture it again?
