" 3. I listened to our song again. This time felt like the first time I didn't cry while listening. I hummed along and felt Isaac's arms wrap around me. I knew that the more I listened, the less it would hurt to hear. I had Finally learned to let all the good memories flow through my heart and my mind, and it prevented me from turning into a blubbering ball of pain. As the notes danced through my soul, I chewed on the end of my pen. Mom gets twenty-thousand, Bond get thirty-thousand, Aiden gets one hundred and fifty thousand, and the rest is to be divided among the rest my my family and close friends.. I had, for what seemed like the millionth time, started writing out my will. It felt like this time I would actually achieve the finished product this time. I didn't know why it was so important to me that I finished it at this very second, but it was. I had gotten too distracted before and it always upset me to no end. "Bryn, you're only twenty. you still have at least three more years." I shrugged. I needed this to be a form of closure for my family. I had to make sure my in-laws didn't fight my family and friends for custody of my son, or for the money I would have when I passed. I needed to protect everyone from each other. Isaac wasn't able to when he had passed, and his family fell apart. I refuse to put my family through that. I sighed, there was nothing more heartbreaking to me than to see his family die with him. The way their anger took hold of them, and shook each other apart. The way they would seem to unite against me. Some where understanding, and some where easy to open up to. But others held a resentment against me that to this day, I will never understand. I loved Isaac as much as they did, and tried my hardest to make him happy. We fought with each other, just like every couple on the planet, but we also fought for each other. I suppose they won't ever understand, but at least I know I did my best to make him happy, and I know I suceeded too. As soon as I came to this realization, I moved past the judgement of my inlaws, and I learned to forgive them for their anger. They just didn't know how to cope like I did. Well, I still don't know how to cope, but thats the thing with death, you don't learn to cope. You learn how pretend to be human again. and then you pretend so much, that you fool yourself into actually being happy. Pain will not subside, it will not leave, but, once you find a way to truely smile, it lets you breathe again. Someone once told me that emotions are just chemicals in our brains. It always made me think, that they where right and wrong. They are chemicals, but you don't feel them with your brain. You feel them with your heart. And I've always felt the way my heart tried to stop beating when I was sad."
