#random-assness

Random-Ass Short: So, that's why they live

Shay-La: *kills Kyno* Kyno: *dying* Larrett: *walks down*shay, did you kill Kyno? Again? Shay-La: *guiltily* Yes.... Larrett: *shakes head* Uou're lucky rafendel is, what's the word? Kyno: *sits up, wounds closing*different, with very few deaths. Or at least Outcast deaths. Shay-La: *glares* I hate you all Kyno:*shrugs* Whater. Wanna watch some glee? Larrett: -_- *grabs donuts and leaves* Shay-La: Hell yeah! Both: *go and watch glee*

Fin~

Random-Ass Short: A man's fudge

*Shay-La walks in, sees Kyno fangirling on the couch, turrns to leave*

Kyno:No! shay! don't leave! Shay-La: Lol what Kyno? Kyno:.Popsicle?*Holds out fudgesicle* Shay-La: O-O Kyno: They yummy Shay-La: *grabby hands like a toddler* Gimme want it want it want it Kyno: *Hands one over* stole em from producers freezer Shay-La: *mid-bite* Wait, what?

*upstairs*

Producer: Hm, I could sure go for a fudgesicle right now. Now where on earth- Shay&Kyno: O_O RUN!!! Producer: *walks down stairs with a look that would kill newborns* WHO TOOK MY FUDGESICLES? Kyno: *hides fudgesicle behind back*I think leon did. *innocent smile* Shay-La: *nods head quickly* yep, hm mm, haven't seen em! *big smile*

*Producer eyes them suspiciously before thundering back up the stairs*

Producer: DAMNIT LEON!!!!! I'm coming for YOU!!!! Leon:.*mid fap, eating a pudding*Wha? Kyno: *high fives shay*Aw yeah!*eats fudgesicle*

Random-Assness: Chips and Jerky

Shay-La: *sitting in the bathtub wearing high heels and a raincoat, eating chips out of a cup*

*Kyno enters*

Kyno: Umm, Shay, do I want to know? *opens the medicine cabinet*

Shay-La: *looks up**holds out cup* Chip?

Kyno: Sure*takes chip and bites tentively* Is this poisoned?

Shay-La: *smiles sweetly* Nope.

Kyno: *spits chip out*I don’t want to die! *runs out of the bathroom screaming*

Larret: *walking past* What did you do?

Shay-La: *screeches* EEEE!!!!!!!

Larret: What the fuck?!

Shay-La: *throws cup at Larret* EEP! *yanks shower curtain off rings and throws it at him*

Larret: *jumps out of the way* FUCK THIS! *tosses Shay up in the air, takes a piss and leaves*

Shay-La: *lands back in tub**huddles in corner, chewing on beef jerky*

Some time Later

Leon: *singing* Gotta pee. Release ma fluids into the shiny toilet. Gonna peeeee~ *walks in, starts to pee**in head* Why do I feel like I’m being watched? *slowly turns around*

Shay-La: Jerky? *holds out a piece of jerky*

Leon: *Shocked/scared face* AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!*runs out, dick stuck in zipper*

Shay-La: *watches him go, chewing on jerky* Well. That escalated quickly.

Random-Ass Short, Glee

*Kyno and Shay sitting in the living room watching Glee*

ON T.V: *lady taps map* And that is how Germany won World War 2

Kyno: OuO *jumps up, victory pose* Ja! JA! *begins dancing around singing in German* We won! We won! We won! Lalalalala! 

Shay-La: >_< Go some where Kyno.

Kyno: *German accent* You can't tell me what to do! Deutschland won!

Shay-La: No they didn't.

Kyno: *sad face* Oh, damn.

Random-Assness: Solitary with Kyno 72 Hours

Kyno: *watches as the guard walks out, leaving behind a tray* You know what, if I do recall correctly when he brought me here, I was promised I would never have to be in an empty white room again. He lied to us. I understand what you’re saying Bonney, honest, I do. But he is the only one who brought me out. Even mother and father didn’t want me. *walks towards tray* Oh look, he trusts me enough to give me plasticware. *looks to ceiling holding a plastic knife* You shouldn’t trust a crazy with anything sharp.

Twelve Hours In

Kyno: *lying in the corner*

Guard: *sets down new tray and takes the old one*

Kyno: *looks up, sniffing the air* Grilled cheese? Soph, is it grilled cheese? Really? How sweet of them, to give me my favorite food. *nibbles on sandwich* You’re really bad at this Producer. I’ve been a bad girl. You shouldn’t give me things that I like. *continues to nibble on sandwich, slight eye twitch* This isn’t all that bad. Do you know that? Give my compliments to the chief.

Twenty-Four Hours In

Kyno: *sitting in the middle of the room* La la la la la sing a happy song. La la la la la la smurf the whole that long. Oh this is simply smurfy. *giggles* I smurfing love this place! Kind of boring though. I could decorate it.

Guard: *switches the trays and quickly leaves*

Kyno: *crawls on all fours in a skittering movement, sniffs bowl* Oatmeal?!?!?!?! I smurfing hate smurfing smurfmeal! *picks up bowl and throws it against the wall. Bowl breaks into an array of broken pieces, oatmeal slowly sliding down the wall* DON’T EVER FEED ME OATMEAL! I SMURFING HATE THAT SMURF SHITZA! *growls and picks up the shards and begins to scratch obscene symbols and words on the wall*

Thirty Hours In

Kyno: *rocking back and forth muttering to self*

Outside Producer’s Office

Security: *watching the screen* is it ok to send anyone in with food for her? She seems kind of…..

Producer: Out there?

Security: Yeah, that.

Producer: It’ll be fine. Trust me.

Security: *shrugs and turns back to screen* *screen goes black*

Back in confinement

Guard: *opens door slowly, door creaks*

Kyno: *looks up and growls low in her throat*

Guard: *freaks out and attempts to leave; is unable to*

Back in Producer’s Office

Security: *screen comes back on, revealing Kyno hunched over the dead guards body, giggling* B-b-boss!

Producer: Yes? *looks up from paperwork*

Security: Come look at this.

Producer: *stands up, walks over and glances at screen* *face pales* No one goes in that room. Do you hear me? *pushes a button*

Back in Confinement

Kyno: I warned you. I freed you. Aren’t you happy? *tilts head* Oh  noes, I couldn’t do that. That isn’t very nice. Really? It is?! Why didn’t you say so? *giggles and claps bloody hands* That was funny! Really really funny! *looks at the guards body and frowns* Come on! Smile! *forces the guards mouth upwards and lets go* SMILE! SMILE DAMNIT! WHY WONT YOU SMILE?! *skitters over to the pile of shards and skitters back to the guards body*

Forty-Eight Hours In (12 A.M)

Kyno: *laughing, face and arms covered in numerous cuts; the dead guards face has cuts from his mouth to his ears in a permanent smile* Isn’t it pretty? Oh so pretty. *lays hands in the guards open stomach, pulls hands out and begins to bang on the wall. Adding more bloody hand prints*I made it pretty! Isn’t it pretty? I do like the color red. I likes it  a lot. *giggles and begins to rock back and forth*

Seventy-One Hours and Fifty-five minutes In

Kyno: *rocking back and forth crying* Why Mama?! Why?! I’m sorry Mama! I didn’t mean to! Can you forgive me Mama? Please Mama! Forgive me! I’ll be  a good girl Mama! I promise!

*Confinement door unlocks and slowly opens*

Producer: *walks in holding a tissue over nose* God it stinks in here.

Security: *looks at the guards  decomposing body* Oh God, Steve. *pukes*

Kyno: *cowers in corner, perks up and runs out*

Security: Shouldn’t you have stopped her?

Producer: No, get this mess cleaned up. *casts one last glance around the padded room and the mess, shakes head and leaves* What have I gotten myself into?

Random-Assness: Let's make cupcakes!

Kyno: Mmmm, shay flesh Shay-La: Eh? Kyno: *Holds up shays kidney* Shay flesh. :D Shay-La: O_O B- b- but... *looks down at red blood blossoming on shirt* *clutches side through wet T-Shirt* *looks up at Kyno* Y- You.... *eyes roll up* *collapses*

(*up in Danny's room*)

Danny: *stops mid-rape of Asian bitch* O_O What is this I sense? o-O Kyno: *shrugs* Doll: I guess she wants none. Producer: o_O, Whys it so quiet? Its 9:05 and Shay hasn't destroyed Kyno yet........ Danny: *bursts into Producer's officer, dragging Asian bitch behind her* Gregory! Something is wrong with my Twin-La, I can feel it! *Asian bitch gagged and blindfolded, struggling against chains on the floor* Producer: *looks up* Its probably nothing Danny.*Looks at asian bitch*danniella, what have I told you about dragging your asian bitches? That's inhumane. We could be sued. Danny: *opens mouth to reply* Producer: *cuts her off* And NO, just because YOU don't understand the language- Danny: *finishes* does nott mean her babble consent, blah blah blah, I know I know. That isn't the point. I really think something Terrible has happened to my twin-la. She wasn't at dinner. My twin NEVER misses a meal. And Kyno had all of her limbs tonight!! *asian bitch squeals*  Danny: *kicks her quiet* Producer: Kyno tends to have her limbs by dinner. Sometimes*taps chin* Danny, be nice. Leon: *walks in* uh guys, i can't find Larrett. We're supposed to co-op on skyrim like ten minutes ago!

*Nitsu enters*

Nitsu: Where the fuck is Kyno? I can't find that little Nazi-bitch anywhere. We had mvie hour planned right after dinner, and this hoe dissapeared. -_- Producer: alright, so, we're missing three cast members. Shay, *points to Danny* Larrett *points to Leon* and Kyno. *points to Nitsu* What happened last time an Outcast went missing? Leon: Some government agency had her. She went big and crushed their base into pieces and came home. Producer: thats probably what happened. Those two can take care of themselves and Kyno.

*scream echoes through outcast mansion*

All: O_O Danny: Twin!!!! *takes off* Leon: Bro!! *follows* Nitsu: Sandusky? *follows curiously*

*In the sacrificial chamber part of the basement*

Kyno: *in german* They won't stop moving! *in russian* stop moving *slaps shay* I want to make some cupcakes! *cuts down larretts hairy stomach**in german*why the hell is he so fucking hairy?! Producer: guys? *runs after* *pulls out walkie talkie* security, we might need back up. Prepare the white room, just in case. Security: *frightened* but boss- Producer: Now. Security: *gulps* Yes, sir.

*worried group enters the.chamber*

Danny: TWIN-LA! Leon: Bro! Nitsu: *begins laughing* Making cupcakes Kyno? Kyno: Ja.*nods head, mixing cupcake batter with blood* Danny: *glances at Shay-La, unconscious and pale, tied down to work table* *warily* Kyno... hey, whatcha doin.... Hachi? *takes nervous step forward, eyes on Kyno* Kyno: *glares* I'm making cupcakes. Would you like one? They have special surprises in them! *pulls a tray of cupcakes out of the oven* Danny: o-o Nitsu: 030 I do! Shay-La: *groans weakly* Larrett: *semi-concious and shaved, in wolf form, begins howling and whimpering* Security: oh dear God. *pukes* Producer: What is going on Kyno? Kyno: I decided to make cupcakes. Do try one Producer. Producer: I.... I'd rather not. Kyno: I SAID TRY ONE! *shoves cupcake down Producers throat* Producer: *chokes on Shay's pinky* Danny: Is that my twins pinky?! Nitsu: Oh hell yes. *begins noming on one* Leon: Yes! *takes one, bites in eagerly* Danny: *shock* What the fuck is wrong with you guys!? Leon: *face freezes* Wha-?  Dude... is this-? *reaches into mouth and pulls out a big wad of matted, bloody hair* *glances eerily at Larrett* Oh God. *faints* Nitsu: *around a mouthful of Shay's liver* Ha! Kyno: *sad face* whatever is wrong Leon? *bends down and pokes with scalpel* Do you want to be a cupcake too? Producer: *all color drains from face* *whispers* Security. Security: *move into action* *pin Kyno down * Kyno: *Thrashing and screaming bloody murder, face contorted into sadistic rage* Security 1: She bit me!!!! *clutches bloody arm* Producer: Take her to the white room!! Now! Danny: *screams* Somebody get the fucking scalpel away from her!! Kyno: *whips Security 4 across face with scalpel* *breaks free and darts to corner* *hisses* Nitsu: I got this you jiggaboo bastards. *walks up, slaps Kyno, takes away scalpel and throws her over her shoulder* shut up Hachi. Kyno: *resignedly* Yes, Momma. Nitsu: Now before we go up, say you're sorry to all these nice People. Kyno: Awwww Momma, do I got to? Doll: Yeah Momma, do we got to? Nitsu: You hush Doll, because you are the cause of all of this. Doll: *crosses arms and pouts* Nitsu: Kyno.... Kyno: *sighs* *mumbles* M'Sorry. Nitsu: Like you mean it! Kyno: But Momma-! Nitsu: Do we need to visit the white room, Hachikato!? Kyno: *mumbles* I fucking hate the white room. Nitsu: Now apologize. Kyno: I'm sorry. *struggling to not roll eyes* Nitsu: Good. Security 3: *injects Kyno with syrine* Night night freak. Doll: DIRTY BASTARDS! *passes out* Security 2: *carries Kyno to the white room while the others work on fixing up Larrett and Shay-La.*

Random-Assness: Outcasts Twerk Team

Danny: Ok bitches, I'm gonna teach you how to twerk. Kyno/Shay: O-o Ummm Lia: Tehehehe Twerk twerk twerk. *begins twerking awesomely* Leon: O-o Um....., no. Larret: I aint got time for this shit, so... Danny: BEND THE FUCK OVER! All: *drop hands to floor, except Shay-La, who can't reach* Danny: Good. Now, TWERK! *turns on twerk music*

*Outcasts begin trying to Twerk*

  Larret: This... is.... so..*twerk twerk* GAY!

  Leon: I feel like less of a man. *twerk twerk**pants*

Kyno: Haha, "less". *tries to twerk, falls over*

  Lia: *still twerking, begins adding in pro moves*

  All: *stop twerking to watch Lia as she twerks like a pro, except Shay, who is still stuck in her postion*

  Leon: Oh dear God. *in awe*

  Danny: Uh, Lia? Care to share where you learned that?

  Lia: *still twerking* I have a very.... colorful..... past. *drops into split, twerks* Hey, weed don't pay for itself.

  Kyno: I'm ashamed.

  Larret: *still in awe* That shouldn't be possible.

  *Lia, hanging from ceiling fan by feet, still twerking, doing a strip tease and blowing on a blunt simultaneously*

  Shay-La: I think I broke something...

  Kyno: Mommy, I'm afraid.

  Danny: DON'T BE AFRAID! LEARN! Come on, everyone follow Lia! I want 4 more members for the Outcast Twerk Team!! *restarts song*

  ♫♫ Don't stop, pop that, don't stop, pop that pop that pussy bitch! Don't stop! Pop that, don't stop, whatcha twerkin wit? ♫♫

  Producer: Um, Danny, you know that we can't air this right? *glances at horribly twerking Outcasts*

  Danny: Shut the hell up, and get out there and twerk! My money ain't making itself! *Lia twerking on wall with a turtle*

  Producer: But----

  Danny: Bitch! *rasies hand, producer flinches* I ain't ask for no "buts", I said TWERK!

  Producer: *begins crying, joins the Outcast twerking in bowls of pudding lie Lia*

  Danny: Hell yeah! Twerk that bitches! Make mama proud! *licks pudding from Larrets bowl* Mmm... Larret twerk pudding is pretty good. *steps back as Larret begins twerking ass in bowl again*

  Shay: *falls face first into bowl*

  Kyno: Mommie!

  Danny: Shut up! I love you Kyno, but shut up. *begins walking out of room, calls behind her* AND SOMEONE PLEASE GET SHAY UP, HER FACE LANDED IN THE PUDDING!

  Shay-La: *face in bowl* urgghhhhhh...