#random fringe thoughts

This post is Part III in a series, the first two can be found here and here.

So, I tried to ignore the “Olivia’s character is ruined because a man made her happy so that means she’s weak” crowd but there’s only so much I can take without chiming in.  As always, I will not be attacking any specific person, just putting out my POV in case someone wants to discuss this civilly.  This one will get a little personal, because I want to explain why this argument upsets me so much.  I do want to be clear that I do not have a problem with "I disagree with the writers for accelerating/focusing on this story line" or even "I disagree with Olivia's actions", although I will probably disagree with your disagreement I do not begrudge people having differing opinions.  What upsets me are the attacks on her character.

Here are the arguments I will be countering:

Olivia is a strong woman.

Strong women don’t need men.

Olivia has a man.

Therefore, Olivia is no longer a strong woman and this cheapens her character.

Also:

Strong women don’t need a man to be happy.

Olivia has a man and is happy.

Therefore, Olivia is not a strong woman and this cheapens her character.

And finally:

Olivia being so happy and smiley makes her unprofessional.

Let me tell you a little about myself.  Well, a lot about myself, because I feel that my background mirrors hers well enough that I take personally these types of remarks.  I'll try to keep it brief and just touch on major life events.

I consider myself a strong, independent woman.  I do not rely on anyone else to do things for me.  I had an alcoholic, verbally abusive father who ended up in prison as a sex offender (who now sends me letters on my birthday and Christmas every year just to let me know he’s still out there … and guilt trip me for cutting him out of my life).  My mother fell into a deep depression and spent most of my teenage years in bed.  I kept our family functioning.

I was “homeschooled” (and don’t you dare knock it in front of me) which worked brilliantly until my mother couldn’t function.  I pretty much had no education after 8th grade. At 17 I studied and got my GED, and entered a community college.  After 3 years balancing work and school, I got a scholarship to a 4 year college and graduated at 23.

I took martial arts, and was bullied a great deal by chauvinistic men as well as some very catty women who liked to spread nasty rumors about me, but I persevered and received 3 degrees of black belt during my 10 years with the school, ages 14-24.  

I was painfully shy to the point of physical illness sometimes, but I kept challenging myself and pushing myself to the point that now, when I told my coworkers that I used to be a mousy wallflower, they don’t believe me.  I am still a huge introvert with anxiety and self-esteem issues (stemming from being told I was worthless a lot from asshole father, along with the bullying) and it’s something I struggle with frequently, but I am able to put on a confident facade and get through life without relying on anyone.

At 23 I started dating the man I am still with now, 4 years later.  We’d known each other for 2 years already and had been good friends.  He had also been through hell and back (even more than me), and understood who I was and what I’d overcome. 

He makes me happy.

Actually, I should say he makes me happiER, because I was happy before him.  A lot of things make me happy, although like Olivia I am not in general a happy-smiling person.  My dogs.  Teaching.  Fringe :-P.  Geeking out with my brother.  And a lot of things make Olivia happy.  Ella.  Her sister.  Helping people.  Doing well at her job.  And, before they were together, Peter.  Now that they are together, he makes her happiER.  Yes, it's a big contrast from the last few episodes because she had gone through hell and back YET AGAIN.  But it's not a huge contrast from other times we've seen Olivia, on the rollercoaster with Ella, teasing Peter, saving lives.  BTW, Peter has always been able to make her smile when no one else could.  

Remember, most of the series she's had one huge burden or another - in season 1, she was possessed by her dead boyfriend, and then had to deal with the fact that she'd been experimented on as a child.  In season 2, she pretty much died, then had physical and psychological trauma from crossing universes, and then had to deal with her best friend - who she was starting to have feelings for - being from another universe.  And in season 3, of course, we all know what she's been through.  But still, in between and among all of those multi-episode story arcs, we've seen her happy.  We've just mostly seen her burdened ... and rightfully so.  

Right now, she doesn't have a huge personal burden.  Every one of those issues has been dealt with in one way or another.  There are lingering affects, sure, but there's nothing huge hanging over her head at the moment.  Sure, the universe may fall apart any day now, but at the moment, they are in the eye of the storm.  Peter forgave her for not telling him the truth, and chose to come back for her.  She survived a memory wipe and escaped from the other side.  She put her life back together after it had been stolen and violated by her double.  Despite all the flaws she thinks she has, the man she loves still chose to be with her.  And she has decided to push past her own insecurities and let someone past her barriers once more.  So she is happy.  She is happiER than usual.  

And it lasted .... AN EPISODE.  Because the world is going to come crashing down again now, and I bet ya she won't be all smiley after she's been possessed by Bell, no matter how much sex she's getting.  Because as much as we joke, it's not about the sex.  It's not about the man.  It's about her life sucking a bit less than it used to, because she is home and has her best friend back and has someone to go home to at the end of the day who makes everything just a little better.  And in a few days, life will suck again.  Will that make you happy, her being unhappy?  Do strong, independent women have to be alone and miserable for us to respect them?  

And you know what?  I wonder how many of the people bashing her for being so happy have ever actually been in a relationship.  I've heard "she's like a teenager who thinks she's in love for the first time".  No.  NO.  You know what a "teenager" (and I say it in quotes because even that comment is being stereotypical and judgmental of teens) in that kind of relationship looks like?  Lovey-dovey and hanging on her boyfriend 24/7 no matter the context or location.  What people don't seem to get is we are seeing their PRIVATE LIFE.  She wasn't being lovey on him at the crime scene.  Or while interviewing people.  Or any time she's actually doing HER JOB.  She's being happy and flirty when they are alone.  And you know what?  Even adults do that.  It's called being in a relationship.  It's called loving someone and being happy.  

So, I guess what I'm wondering is this: has my character been cheapened because I'm with a man and happy?  Am I less of a strong, independent woman now?  If you had a camera into our private life, and saw me smiling and flirting and laughing, would you say I sacrificed my self-worth to be with him?  And if you'd seen me years ago, before him, when someone had told me it would never work between us, and I was upset, would you say my happiness depended on having a man, because a man happened to make me sad?

If you said yes to any of those things, I'm sorry, but I don't consider that being a feminist.  Just because you don't NEED a man doesn't mean you don't WANT a man, or that being in a relationship shouldn't make you happiER.  If the relationship doesn't make you happy, what are you doing in the relationship?!  BTW, if Olivia was a lesbian, and was happiER in a relationship, would we be hearing all this drama?  Probably not.  God forbid a woman have a heterosexual relationship and be happy about it.  

What people fail to realize sometimes is that humans are social creatures.  We are made to seek each other out, to form communities, to long for companionship.  Olivia is a loner.  I was a loner.  But even as a loner, you need one or two close relationships to feel whole, whether those be with a close sibling or a best friend or a lover.  Especially since Charlie died, Peter has been that person for her, which I maintain is one of the biggest reasons she was so devastated when she came home - she felt like she lost her best friend and partner, not just love interest (see the previous posts in this series for elaboration).  But it doesn't mean she's any less strong or independent.  INDEPENDENT DOES NOT MEAN ALONE.

And she does have self-esteem issues.  It comes from having an abusive background.  But she's had these issues since the pilot, so if you think those make her weak then you've thought that since day 1.  Olivia Dunham - amazing at her job, struggles with letting people get close to her.  It makes perfect sense given her history and it has been clear since we first met her.  So now that she's decided to let someone get close, that somehow makes her weaker?  I'm sorry, but I disagree.  I think that makes her so much stronger.  I am happy for her, and proud of her.  And I hope that any other young women watching this show who have a background of abuse, who have trouble trusting people and have spent their lives alone, can take strength from her journey.  Had Peter pressured her into a relationship and she caved against her better judgment, yeah, that's bad.  But that's not what happened.  Peter never pushed her - the harshest thing he said to her was "who's stopping us now" which yes he could have phrased better (Peter Foot-in-Mouth Bishop) but was hardly pressuring her.  She decided on her own that she wanted to conquer her fear and put herself out there again.  And that's huge.

And for the "unprofessional" crowd, here's a break down of her scenes:

In the car by herself on the phone with Peter - flirty.  Crime sscene - professional and not smiling (ok, she smirked when Peter almost lost the floating guy, but c'mon she would have done that last season).  Lab - professional, smiles at Walter's joke.  In the car by themselves - goofy.  Checking out a warehouse by themselves - professional and not smiling.  Outside the warehouse after everyone else shows up - professional and not smiling.  Lab again - professional, not smiling when talking about the case, smiles when Peter mentions pizza (yay pizza!).  In the hallway by themselves - hold hands until they see Nina, then embarrassed smiles.  At the museum - professional and not smiling and BAMFs.  Across campus at Harvard by themselves - flirty.  I'm sorry, but I don't see any change in her behavior professionally.  Even the "lets get a pizza" scene - which was really just the two of them in the corner of the lab - could have happened in season 2 and we wouldn't have questioned it.

That's an adult relationship, guys.  Knowing when and where it's appropriate to be mushy.  We just happen to have a camera spying on their private moments.

Anyhow, if anyone cares, here's the lyrics.  Just for fun.

Destination Anywhere - Sugarcult

I'm rewatching Jacksonville for the millionth time before watching 6B for a second time.  I'm already seeing an amazing number of parallels.  I don't understand those who say season 3 Olivia is not the same person.  She is struggling with the exact same thing in these two episodes - allowing herself to be vulnerable.  Letting her guard down.  Breaking down those walls she has built so carefully around herself.  Every other time there's been a crack in those walls, she finds an escape and quickly fills it back in.  In Jacksonville, it's thinking she's failed that breaks down those walls and makes her vulnerable enough to feel genuine fear, and for the first time instead of running from that vulnerability she decides to open herself just a little more by meeting Peter for drinks.  How much do you want to bet that a fear of intimacy is what caused Peter to glimmer that time, as well?

Impressed:

The world just needs more Charlie.  Seriously.

I loved seeing Altlivia in her element.  I wish they had made an effort to make her this rounded and sympathetic before now.  It would have made the whole Vagenda storyline that much more tragic and interesting if we gave a crap about her the first time through.  Now it's just tragic in hindsight.

I think the pregnancy has potential.  My mind is not made up yet on whether it will live up to that potential - we won't know til it all plays out.  And god willing we'll get renewed and be able to explore all the ramifications for another year - but that's not looking so promising at the moment.

The reason I see potential in the cliche is because every cliche can be turned on its head and turn into an amazing story.  Think about it - people deal with unwanted pregnancies every day and the fact that it happens doesn't make it any less painful and overwhelming for the people dealing with it.  Really intense human emotions and reactions can be evoked from this storyline.  The reason we have such hatred for this particular cliche is just because it's been done poorly so many times before.  But that doesn't mean it CAN'T be done well.  We won't know til it plays out.

Altlivia's story just got a WHOLE lot more interesting.  She's finally realizing that life isn't a game.  There are consequences for your actions.  You can't blindly follow orders.  You have to take responsibility for your choices.  The growth of this character could turn out to be the most interesting story this show has to tell, if they are given the chance and take the opportunity to tell it.  Her worldview has been turned on it's head just as much as our team's has been, and now she has to decide not just what the best path is for her to take, but what is best for her child, when she doesn't even know what's real anymore.

Disappointed:

That we saw it coming 2 months in advance.  I almost wish I wasn't so involved in the fandom so I could have experienced this as a shock.  I never read into September's words until I went online and saw the speculation.  So without the spoilers, I would have been totally surprised.  I kinda wish I was.  But regardless, the writers and the cast were ridiculously UNsubtle about the whole thing.  I was really hoping for a twist.  I still think there will be twists in this storyline, definitely, but I would have liked one at the end of last night just to soften the blow of "meh, this is news?"

That this could go really south really fast.  There's a reason people are skeptical, and that's because as I said earlier this type of story has been done poorly so so often.  Writers, do you believe you are good enough not to fall into the traps so many other tv writers have?  I sure hope you're right.

That they pulled this storyline out when we really needed LESS controversy in the fandom right now.  Even if you make this awesome, you are going to lose viewers as soon as a pregnancy is revealed because people are cynical.  And that's not hating on the cynics, they are the way they are because they've been burned too many times.  So I don't understand why you wouldn't play it just a TAD safer when your renewal is so precarious.  JUST A TAD.  No one wants to go back to Molebaby and Porcupineman, but you didn't have to jump off the deep end so suddenly.  Ease people into it, lol.

Final thoughts: