#rainyapparitions

Dear person I’m jealous of, 

I promise I am trying. I promise I don’t like feeling like what I have isn’t enough. Part of not wanting what someone else has is fully liking myself, and I am trying to do that. 

Love,

Me  

Dear past me,

There is so much good in the world. There is joy beyond what you can conceive right now. There is amazing coffee, and there is amazing love. Hang in there. 

Love,

1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?  My unlock screen on my phone is a picture of a really gorgeous swimming pool in Florida.  My wallpaper on both is a pic from off the top of Mt. Washington in New Hampshire.

2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?  Not like, a full-out crush, but definitely a “well helloooo” moment or two.

3) What was your last text message? “Cool, thanks!”

4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?  Basically, having enough money to pay rent and go on the occasional vacation, while hopefully only working my “real” job and not a survival job.

5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?  In NYC, probably.

6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?  Culturally insensitve as it now is, I will never not love my Gypsy costume.  Also my Skyrim Novice Mage is badass as fuck, but technically I made that as a cosplay and just also wore it on Halloween.

7) What was your favorite 90s show?  FRIENDS I guess.  I never watched TV at the time.

8) Who was your last kiss? Pass :D

9) Have you ever been stood up?  By friends yes.

10) Favorite ice cream flavor?  Rocky Road

11) Have you been to Las Vegas?  Not yet!

12) Your favorite pair of shoes? These super-comfy black mary-jane style heels.

13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?  Nope.

14) What is your favorite fruit? Cherries

15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?  Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh not really?  Not anyone I met through tumblr anyway.

16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?  Not really.  Preferably long.

17) Do you smoke? If so, what? Nope.

18) What do you do to get over your anger?  Cry and vent to trusted people. 

19) Do you believe in God?  Yes, but I don’t believe he actively intervenes in stuff.

1. Is there a special person in your life right now? Kind of.  It’s complicated. 

3. What kind of phone do you have?  A Samsung Galaxy S4

5. Is there anyone you miss right now? Yeah, also complicated (See#1)

7. What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?  Coffee or tea, depending on mood and how awake I need to be.

9. When was the last time you drank alcohol? This evening.

11. Have you ever done any illegal drugs besides weed? Haven’t even done weed lol.  No plans too.

13. What is your favorite thing to do? Oh geez.  like, just for fun, I guess writing?  Reading? Shit, I dunno.

15. Is there someone you need to forgive?  Yup.

17. Are you a christian? I guess, yeah, but not an observant one at the moment.

19. Is there anyone you wish you could be with right now?  Yeah, but its okay. :D

21. Have you ever sent naughty pictures to someone? Yep.

23. On a scale from 1-10, 1 being the worst, how has your day been so far?  Like a strong 7?

25. What was the last video game you played? Skyrim,  A MILLION YEARS AGO

27.What’s your perfect idea for a date? Something dumb and cheesy like dinner and a museum and walking by a river.

29. What’s something you’ve always wanted to do? Go to France

31. Have you ever been caught making out with someone? Nope

33. What social media do you use the most? Facebook and Tumblr

35. What’s the funniest one-liner you know? An actor walks into a bar and says, “Can I get some glowtape on this?”

37. Where’s the most outlandish place you’ve ever had sex/masterbated? A bathroom  (kinda public, but pretty secluded), or outside.

39. If you had to move to any other country than the one you live in, where would you go and why? Hmmm.  Probably somewhere in the British Isles.  And honestly, because I wouldn’t have to learn a new language.

41. What’s the nicest thing you’ve done for someone? Never really thought about it.  I just try to do little things as I can/feel like it.

43. What is something that instantly makes you like a person?  A good, honest sense of humor without being a dick. Also hard work.

45. What is your favorite song? Lyin’ Eyes, by the Eagles.  No particular reason.

47. What is your favorite color? Red

49. Have you ever watched porn?  Yep.

51. When was the last time you got to see your best friend? A couple weeks ago.

53. Have you ever kissed someone at midnight on New Years’ Eve? No :(

55. Is there someone you would date right now if given the opportunity? Hmmm.... not that I can think of, no.  I’m not sure where I am on the relationship/dating thing at the moment.

57. What is your favorite thing to do in your free time? Didn’t we do this already?  I don’t really know.  I end up dicking around on the internet but that’s not actually my favorite.

59. Have you ever kissed someone on your bed? No.  Not my bed at home, anyway.

61. Has anyone of the opposite sex ever seen you change? Yep!  Theatre, ladies and gentlemen. 

63. Who is your favorite comedian?  I don’t have one.  I’m not a big fan of comedy.

65. What is your favorite nickname that someone calls you and who is it that calls you that name? That’s classified :D

67. When was the last time someone upset you? Mmm, a couple days before Christmas.

69. Have you ever been sexually active with a guy?  Yes.

71. What do you identify as your sexual orientation?  Bisexual, leaning towards hetero-romantic, with a serious “oh dear god how do relationships” complex.

73. What will you be doing 5 hours from now? Sleeping, I hope.

75. Have you ever been in a plane? Yes.  And will be again in a week :D

77. Have you ever left your state? Many, many times.

79. What is your go-to website when you’re bored? Tumblr lol

81. Have you kissed anyone in the last three days? Nope

83. What is your longest relationship? The weird “I don’t even know what this is” one is going on six years now.  Wow.

85. What is something you really want right now? Another week to do before this grad school application.

87. If you could do anything today, what would it be?  Find a large sum of money.

89. What is something that will instantly turn you off? Not listening to me.

91. What is a relationship deal-breaker? Dishonesty.

93. What is the last concert you went to?  the concert at the beginning of the school year, which was pretty lousy.

95. Has anyone ever cheated on someone with you? Nope.

97. What is your favorite sport to watch? Football (American)

Dear Future Me: You’re going to be awesome, but you need to get your shit together, learn to budget, remember to clean, and remember to have fun.

Dear Past Me: I’m thankful that we got here, but sometimes you were a real dick to me, yanno?

Dear person I’m jealous of: I’m scared that I’ll never have the kind of relationship you do.

Dear person I had a crush on: I can’t think of anyone recent, but based on past experiences: “Congrats on the new girlfriend.”

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

I think so.  Friend love, not romantic love love, but still love.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Almost absolutely not. 

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Is that a thing?

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I’m from the south.  Its a way of life.  And will probably get me mugged in NY.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

Hahhhhhhhhh.  What is this dating?

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

No, but I haven’t listened to any music today.

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Cargo pants and a free giveaway shirt from school.  And yanno, underwear.  And a healthy layer of cat hair.

8. How often do you listen to music?

Almost every day.  Especially if I’m in the car.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans.  I don’t own sweats, and only wear yoga/workout pants around the house.  Or if I’m working out lol.

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2015?

This is an old set of questions, huh lol.  I’ll change that to 2016, and I don’t think so, since it’s only 2 weeks away.  By 2017, I think definitely.  Hopefully for the better, but there’s a few things I’m scared about.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

I’m a social introvert.  I need to go do things with people I like to keep from being bored and lonely, but then I need hella decompression/recharge time after.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Nope.

13. What about ‘R’?

Also Nope.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

I wish :(

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

1. First thing you wash in the shower?. 

Hair.  I have a process.  Put shampoo on hair, wash everything else, rinse all.  Put conditioner in hair, let it sit while shaving happens, rinse everything else again.  Stand in the shower until hot water becomes sketchy while practicing conversations I need to have with people.

 2. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?

I refer you to my url.

 3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yes!

 4. Do you plan outfits?

Usually.  That when when I roll out of bed two minutes before I have to leave the house, I still have a shot at it.

 5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?

Out of sorts.

 6. Whats the closest thing to you thats red?

The blanket I am cocooned in.

 7. What would you do if you opened your door and saw a dead body?

I’m assuming scream.  But who knows.

 8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

That was... NSFW.

 9. Three of your current feelings?

Confused, Sad, and Contemplative.

 10. What are you craving right now?

Cuddles.  Many many many cuddles.

 11. Turn ons?

Blue eyes.  Muscles, but not too many.  Intelligence.  Humor. 

 12. Turn offs?

Man buns.  Asshattery.

 13. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

A green leafy brain.

 14. When was the last time you cried? Why?

This afternoon.  Because funerals/family is a bitch.

 15. If you could be a superhero, who would you want to be?