and that doesn't feel like an improvement, it feels like a delay of the inevitable.

letting things work themselves out isn't just scary because it might go badly, it's scary because it might go well, and i don't know how to handle either one.

either way, i'm trying so hard to keep my hands on the wheel without spinning out the second i sense a change of direction. they say insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. i say insanity is escaping a bumper to bumper collision by pulling to the wrong side of the road and crashing headfirst.

people aren't machines though, and you can't control anyone's car but your own. all you can do is be a safe driver. that way, even if you get hurt, you know you did everything you could.

cause there will always be assholes who ignore traffic rules. there will be people who pass you on the right, people who are distracted, angry, drunk, going to class high and treating you like you don't exist. the ones who collide on purpose are outliers, and if you look for one behind every wheel you'll be mowed over from your blind spot.