#rafe c

JJ hadn’t texted you back since 11 this morning. It was weird, especially now. You two were always close, but with the events that have taken place, it’s almost as if he’s become your shadow. So him not texting you back, 

He’s crushed over the murder of John B. Traumatized from being the one that found him. Sarah has been missing since. No one’s where she could be. Pope, Cleo and Kie are all on lockdown from their parents. You’ll spend time at their houses. 

Their usually reluctant parents, offered their homes to you and your brother. A place to find safety and comfort. To be around others than just the two of you. 

More now than ever since you lost John B. Before, it was you, JJ, Sarah, and John B hunkered down in the Chateau. Always sticking together in public. Windows locked up. And never going out at night. 

JJ puts on a brave face. The strong Pogue who wasn’t scared of anything. Even Outer Banks very own serial killer. He always made it seem like he was the one who had to protect you. In the past, it was from Luke. Now from whatever the hell was happening. 

So when you went to work, because yes, unfortunately the world keeps spinning even with a murderer on the loose, JJ didn’t text you at any point during your shift. Weird. He wasn’t outside when you were done for the day. 15 calls. No answer. Pretty fucking weird. 

You were silently panicking. Trying not to cause a scene outside of your job. The sun was getting ready to set in 3 hours. Without JJ you were on foot and you didn’t want to be caught walking back to the cut when the sky started to dark. 

Theft is probably the last thing you should be doing at your place of work. But you’d hope the circumstances of what’s happening in town would give you some grace. You stalk over to the bike rake, trying to not make it obvious. Just your luck none of the bikes were locked up. You lifted one and set off towards the cut. 

You went to the one person that would be stocked up for the worst of things. You knew he would. You had gotten into the habit of running to him for some sort of security, protection. Anytime you were upset. Anytime Luke did something. He’s not afraid to get tough around anyone - helps them know their place. 

When you walked in, you expected a sort of solace from someone that you’ve oddly become close with. Having to pick up orders for Luke and eventually yourself, you and Barry grew close. Occasional fuck buddies, but he was way more than what met the eye. He did become one of your best friends. He was scary, but to you, he meant no harm. 

Instead, when you arrived you were met with a gruesome scene. One you only envisioned could be made possible on a movie set. Ones with blood made from corn syrup. Same stuff they used for pig’s blood in Carrie. It was a terrifying sight that you couldn’t look away from. You scanned the scene, eyes taking in everything. 

Barry slumped on his dirty, worn down couch. Blood splattered the walls, blood covered his entire body. He was sitting in a dark crimson puddle. An ashtray slammed into his temple. Still sitting there. Like some kind of showcase, presented to you in all its glory. His eyes were still open. They held no life, but they were frozen in his last moments. You could still see the panic in them. 

You finally snapped back to, remembering why you were here. You head to Barry’s room ripping out every bag and box to find a gun. You know he’s got one. Your entire body was shaking. Fear? Adrenaline? Both? You didn’t know, you didn’t care. You needed to get the fuck out of there.

Finally, your fingers brush up against cold metal. A colt with a white marbled handle. Barry didn’t spend money, but you remember him telling you a gold tooth and a pretty gun we’re too hard to pass up on. 

You take it and make sure to slip a few boxes of extra bullets in your bag. Taking one last look at Barry, you fight the tears that try to break and make your way out of the trailer. 

You were all over the place, checking everywhere you thought your brother could be. Chateau. Boneyard. Pope’s house. Even Kie’s. Despite you knowing he’d never go there on his own with her parents. You played it off as if you were checking in on them. Not wanting to raise any alarms. Each one came up empty. No sight of JJ. 

The night was coming. The sky was darkening now. The last place you expected to see him was the Maybank house. It was always a last resort for the two of you. When Luke was killed, you bid farewell to the home. Never wanting to step foot in it again. 

It was never a “need to get home” sort of place. Something Before it was a place of anger. It was never home to you. It was a place of survival. With Luke’s alcohol induced rage fits and taking it out on you and JJ, you always tried your hardest to avoid it here. 

Now it was just a shell of what used to be. Haunting thoughts of growing up still lingering throughout it. But it was the last place you thought to check. 

You stood at the edge of the lawn. Staring at the house. You hesitate walking up to it. You can still feel all the punches, all the kicks. The smell of cigarettes and warm beer spilt on the floor. You can hear Luke’s grunts, and screams. You didn’t want to go but you needed to see if your brother was here. 

Eventually, you take slow, uneasy steps closer. Each one of the steps creaked. The cool handle of the patio door causes a slight shiver. You step inside and the stillness surrounds you. A house left to rot, there’s no power, so you’re left to squint to see through the darkness. 

“J?”

Your voice is a whisper. Barely making it outside the living room. This is the first time you’ve been alone since all this began. It’s not a good feeling. Being here on top of everything, you could barely steady your breath. You waited for a response and listened for something, anything. Tried again. Hoping to expect him to call out even a quick “yeah”. But you get nothing in return. 

Nothing. It’s so quiet you hear the water across the yard hitting the shore. Everything feels heavier now. Where is your brother? Sarah being missing has been hard on all of you. Adding your brother on top of that… you don’t even want to go there. 

The house was swallowing you whole. You stood in the living room, hoping for something to just come to you. But after a while, you realized it wouldn’t happen. You didn’t want to be trapped. You wanted to stay somewhere with a quick exit. But you were getting anywhere just standing there. You sucked in a breath, gaining courage. 

You took a slow step. But something wasn’t right. Because when the floor creaked under your foot, another mimicked behind you. You thought it was an echo. Or just your mind playing tricks on you. But it wasn’t either of those because when you took another step, the one behind you was louder, closer. 

Someone else’s footstep. 

You spun around expecting JJ. Thinking it was a brilliant idea of his to play some sick and twisted joke on you. Biggest downfall of him - never taking a hint when something wasn’t fucking funny. 

But the figure standing there wasn’t your brother. He was taller. His shoulders were broader. Even in the dim light, you knew it couldn’t have been JJ. There was no silhouette of his shaggy hair. No hint of his cargo shorts. This wasn’t him. 

Flight or fight was supposed to kick in. But it stilled in you. You stilled. Body frozen as the person moved towards you. Their movements lacked urgency. Getting closer you could make out small details. A sharp jawline. A harsh buzzcut. High cheek bones and a slight furrow in his brows. 

It was Rafe Cameron. 

Why was he here? In your childhood house. Stalking you in the dark. There’s no possible way for him to have answers to your questions. Right? 

When Rafe reached you, you couldn’t help but look up. His eyes shined even in a black room. They were filled with hope. Something that no one on the island's eyes had anymore. He smiled - he fucking smiled down on you. His height had him towering over you. It was intimidating enough, a smile included, an unsettling feeling came over you, causing your gaze to drop. 

“I did this all for you y’know.” Your eyes snap back to his. Your body is still frozen, but now your heart begins to race. You can hear the thumping in your ears. 

“Wha- what does that mean?” Scared, not really wanting to know what he actually meant, your words came out trembling and soft. 

“Means, I’ve wanted you for years. But you never wanted me back. Kept listening to what everyone said about me. They kept you from me. When all I wanted was you.” 

What the fuck? You're truly confused by that. Rafe never made any hints that he wanted you. He hated everyone around you. He hated the side of the island you were from. He hated you. Didn’t he? 

“Where’s my brother Rafe?” 

“Come.” Rafe placed his hands on your shoulders, turning you. One arm wrapped around your torso, the other around your chest. A knife carelessly brushes up against your throat. He doesn’t seem to want to use it. But the threat of it being so close terrifies you. He leaned down and rested his cheek against yours. His face lowers, nose runs against your jawline as he takes a deep breath in. Breathing in your smell like a predator getting ready to feast on its prey.  He takes a step forward, causing you to move. 

He moves you through the house. Ending at the back door. Here, you are met with the second worst sight of the night. Your brother. Tied to a chair, covered in blood. His head is down to the side, he won’t pick it up. 

“Don’t worry. He’s unconscious. Put up a good fight. But he’s alive… for now.” His chuckle at the last part and it makes your stomach churn. 

Tears fill your eyes immediately. You shift and try to fight his hold in order to get out of his arms. It’s no use. But your sister instinct kicks in and all you want is to run out there and help him.  

“Why are you doing this?” Your voice cracks. He can hear the pleading in it. 

“ I needed to get to you. Needed to get rid of all my obstacles. All of those people stood in my way.” 

You stayed in his restraint. Just staring straight ahead to your brother. 

“You-“

You were cut off by Rafe. “Your dad was easy. Half strung out, movements too sloppy.” Rafe’s breath blew softly onto your ear. “Couldn’t move any slower if he tried.”  

Still no words from you. “He wasn’t so much of an obstacle and he was a piece of shit. I knew what he did to you. the way he’s hit you. The way I used to watch how you’d cake that makeup on when you’d come to work at the club. Something had to be done.” 

You knew that now that he’s started, he had more to say. Thinking of all the people he’s killed. Now you want to know why he did it. Not like you’re going anywhere. 

“Sofia was second easiest. Fucking lying slut. You should’ve heard the way she’d talk about you behind your back. I saved you a lifetime of pain.” 

He grunted at the thought of her. “I knew the things she said about me. All the bullshit she’d feed you about me. Keep you away from me.” 

Rafe laughed “Y’know she’d throw herself at me when she’d be alone and drunk at parties. Say all these things to you, then want me when your back is turned. Meanwhile I only wanted you.” 

His voice grows darker the longer he speaks about her. Your best friend. “I told you fucking cheap slut. Didn’t even need to draw some blood with her. Made her think I wanted her, wrapped my hands around her throat. Watched the life leave her eyes.” 

You were starting to panic. Your chest was tightening. Breathing picking up. His arms were still around you. The one around your chest, rising and falling with the rapid rate it was moving. He was whispering these words into your ear like they were sweet nothings. When in reality, he was a monster. 

“She didn’t deserve that.” 

Rafe sighed, pausing for a moment as if he were contemplating something. “Oh, but she did, baby.” 

That was it. No elaboration on why he thought his actions were justified. Just a quick acceptance and full belief it’s excusable because it worked in his mind. It got him to you.

Your legs begin to shake. If he didn’t have such a tight hold on you, you'd drop right to the floor. “And John B?” 

“John B just got in the way of Sarah. We got into an argument. She brought you up. I snapped. Started drowning her on the docks. He interfered. He shouldn’t have done that.” 

“So they’re both dead?” 

“No.” He paused. There was a shift in him when you brought her up. That was clear. “She’s fine. I don’t want to hurt my sister. We have our differences but she’s my sister y’know. I just know she’s gonna run her mouth. I gotta finish what I started and I don’t think I’m fully there yet baby.” 

There was a moment of silence. You were trapped. In this situation. In this house. In his arms. There was no escaping for you. You wanted to go save your brother. You wanted your friends back. You wanted normalcy back. 

You were disgusted by a small part of your brain. The part that said that Luke being gone wasn’t a problem. It was actually relieving. Where, if what Rafe said was true, Sofia being wiped from your life was a blessing in disguise. Better for her to be dead than to be stabbed in the back. Figuratively, of course. 

You were pulled from your thoughts when Rafe began to speak again. “And Barry.” He let out a long dramatic sigh. “Barry, Barry, Barry.” 

“That man. That lowlife, scum of man. He thought he could weasel his way in and make you his. Thought he deserved to touch you. I saw you coming out of his bedroom a few times. Messy hair, his shirt.”

Out of frustration, Rafe shook you a bit. He was getting wilder by the minute. Your hands flew to the side of your head. In some sort of attempt to drown out the reality of things. Scared the words fumbled out of you in a crying plea before you could stop them. “It wasn’t like that. Really. Please stop, Rafe.” 

Rafe moves the arm that was around your torso. You can feel him fidgeting behind you. Then you hear a belt drop to the floor. Then the pop of a button being released. Then the zip of a zipper. Rafe uses one foot to spread your legs the slightest bit. 

“Can I?” You felt a bump on your lower back. Rafe’s hand is now placed on the button of your shorts. You nod, not trusting your voice to speak. He undo’s and pulls them down and they sit just above your kneecaps. Rafe spits and places himself in between your legs. 

Still holding you tightly, he begins to rock behind you. The knife lights up from the moon shining in through the patio door. JJ is still in the distance. No sign of waking up. 

You manage to look over his huge arm and can see his tip move out then back in over and over, between you. You didn’t move, afraid of what he would do. Afraid of retaliation if he thought you were rejecting him. 

He kept nudging you clit when he moved and you could help but feel good when it happened. You press your legs together, giving him a squeeze, causing a growl like moan slip from his lips. 

“Maybe not. But he got you. He fucked you, he tasted you. Did he feel good? I could fuck you better. I’ve dreamed about the way your pussy would feel fluttering around my cock when you cum. God, the things I’d do to you.” 

Rafe rambled like a mad man. Delusional thoughts spoken out loud. Anything he’d do to you. What Barry couldn’t give you. He sounds so nonsensical that if he were to get caught, you’d do him a favor by ask the court to rule insanity because there’s no way he’s fit for trial. 

“Do you get what I’m saying?”

“I- uh…” the words die in your throat. You did but you didn’t. He’s fawned over you so badly to the point he murdered anyone he deemed a threat. Which was none of the people that he did. If he was sane, he would’ve seen that.

He was good looking. You wouldn’t deny that. Rafe Cameron was a beautiful man. Again, if  he was sane, he could’ve approached you like a normal person with a crush. Then, you have been in disbelief, but maybe it would have worked. Now, you're just trying your hardest to not get you and your brother's throat slit. 

“This is all for you baby. I needed to get you as close to me as possible. Nothing can stand in my way. Responsibilities gone. Friends gone. Boyfriend gone. You’re mine. How’s that sound?” 

Your brain is screaming. Sound convincing, make it sound real. “Then show me Rafe. Show me how you’d treat me.” 

Rafe’s hands travelled to your waist, digging into your flesh. His movements were quicker now. Your “acceptance” of what he deems passion of love has got him riled up. But you just stare forward as your brother begins to stir. He’s waking up. 

His eyes flutter open as he stares ahead. To him, you and Rafe are nothing but shadows in the dark. But he can see two figures. Now that he’s awake and you can see him, beaten, but ok, your survival instincts kick in. 

Rafe keeps going, a drive to make you his and the desire to cum. He grunts and moans behind you. You fight back your own as his length continues to run back and forth on your clit. Fuck… why was he making you feel good? You adjust around him trying to ease the fire beginning to burn in the lower part of your stomach. 

His grip is too tight and he keeps you in place. The knife is now pressed against your hip. Threatening to cut if a single wrong move is made.It's no use. 

JJ continues to stare in your direction. Confused? Disoriented? You're lost in a spiral of wanting to save him and the feeling that Rafe has brought over you. And you’re losing to Rafe and your orgasm builds. Your arms move, against your own will, up and back to cradle his head. Your body sinks into his. 

“This is all I ever wanted.” 

“You’ve got me, Rafe.” Your weak attempt to fight off a moan fails when you speak his name. You can’t believe you gave in. Your body has betrayed you. He’s constantly hitting that right spot. Your clit is pulsating. You were completely soaked now. 

“Cum for me Rafe. I’m yours. This can all be over now.” 

Rafe speeds up, his movements are sloppy. Pressure is taking over. Rafe throws his head back and moans loud towards the ceiling. The echo of it rippling throughout the quiet house. Subsequently, your orgasm follows right after. 

Rafe spurts cum down your thighs, the hot sticky liquid, drips down into your underwear. The center of you is completely drenched. Rafe sways a bit, his vision blurry. He rests his head on your shoulder, dropping the knife to the floor. His arms entangle you once again. 

“You mean it?” 

Your legs are shaking from your own release. Still standing there half naked. Eyes reopening, immediately focusing back on your brother. Who’s now trying to fight his restraints. You assume the noise from inside alerted him. 

“Yes. I’m yours.” 

He kisses your shoulder. Trailing a line of them up your neck to your cheek. “Mine.” His voice is gleaming with victory. You. The Maybank sister no one has ever been able to break down. Demolished her walls and is now his. Only took a little convincing on his part. But he got you. 

“Please end it. I see you now. No one can take me away from you. After everything you’ve done for me. My heart is yours.” 

You seemed more convincing than you thought you would. He smiles into your neck. Clearly satisfied with your answer. He reaches down, pulling your pants back up and securing them. He pats the front of them, “I want you to wear my cum like a trophy. I want it to stick to you. A reminder of how you own me.” 

“I promise.” 

You turn to him. The moonlight now reveals his full features. Your arms wrap around his neck and kiss him deeply before pulling back and smiling at him. “Let me go help my brother.” Rafe tenses for a moment but you reassure him. “He won’t be a problem, JJ trusts me. If I say it’s ok. It’s ok.” 

He reluctantly nods and you step away from him, picking up the knife,  and head outside. JJ jumps, despite the restraints, when he sees you. You run over to him and the first thing you do is wrap him in a tight hug. You move back and grab his head in your hands inspecting every inch of him. Just some cuts and bruises. Rafe just needed to knock him out to get him in the chair. Other than some minor healing, he’s ok. Thank god. Your brother is ok. 

You begin working on getting him free. Cutting at the tape. It’s fucking this. Did he use a whole roll on each limb? Rafe’s watching from the door. Your back is turned to him, but you speak low in fear he’ll hear you. 

“JJ I need you to listen. It was Rafe. This was all Rafe. Luke, John B. Sarah’s alive but he’s got her somewhere. He’s afraid she’ll run her mouth. You trust me right?” 

He nods slowly. His eyes flicker between you and the door. Just as quietly as you, he adds it up. “Of course I do sis. That him over there?” 

“Yeah. I don’t think I have time to explain everything now but this all comes back to me. J, I need you to pretend to give me your blessing. Pretend like you’re ok with me going with him.” 

JJ goes to react and you shut him down immediately. “Absolutely fucking not. He’s a psychopath. He murdered our friends and you want to go off with him?!” 

“JJ, I’ve got it all figured out. He’s obsessed with me. I’ll have him in the palm of my hand. Just do as I fucking say. Okay?” 

“Fine. Just get me the fuck out of here.” 

You finally get him free and he stands weakly. Shaking out his limbs to get the blood to rush back into them. He pulls you into another hug. “If he does anything to you, he won’t be the only one with blood on his hands.” 

“I got this J. Justice for Booker.” In all honesty, he was the one you cared about most. Sick, I know. But John B was like another brother to you. Life dealt him the shit end of the stick. He loved hard and was always fucked over. The pogues mean everything to you. He’s not going to get away with this. 

JJ lets go of the hug but he can’t seem to let you go yet. His hands stay on shoulders as tears fill his eyes. “Justice for Booker. Cook his ass sis.” 

He walks away from the Maybank home. Heading in the direction of Pope’s. You watch him for a moment, tears filling your own eyes. The silence is broken by the screen door opening and closing. Rafe comes up to you and runs his hand through your hair. 

“We good baby?” 

You snap back into the role you’re playing. Wiping the tears that fell and smiling. “All good… baby.” 

Rafe is now calm and content. He’s got the girl he’s dreamed about for years wrapped up in his arms. JJ Maybank walked away, mostly unharmed, but he left her with him. The fuel that was behind his eyes faded. No more threats. No more obstacles. 

What he didn’t know was that you were ten times smarter than he was. Already crafting a plan on how to fuck him over. All while smiling and pretending like everything was fine.

wanted this last one to be a bit more on the dark side - sorry if it's not everyone cup of tea.

not me changing the date post to say halloween. sorry it's late. didn't schedule it, got home late, fixed some things bc I always hate what I do

thank you guys for all the love on my kinktober pics :') my first one and I couldn't be more happy with it <3

“Fine,” she sighs. All she wants to do is take a nap and maybe have some popcorn with mayo, but she understands how important it is for Rafe to aid her with the pregnancy. This isn’t the first thing he has tried and while the others haven’t worked, she is hopeful this will because she needs a break. He steps forward and places his palm at the bottom of her belly. “What are you-?” Her questioning is interrupted by the instant relief provided by him lifting her belly. She sighs. They stay like this for a few minutes until the position gets uncomfortable and he has to step back. The weight is returned to her, but it is nice to not deal with it for a second. Her arms wrap around his neck the best way that they can and she smoothers his face with kisses. “Thank you so much. That really helped me,” she informs. His smile beams impossibly bright, “I’m so glad it did, Princess. I’m going to add it to our nighttime routine.” 

Two months since Christmas. Two months since you’ve avoided Rafe Cameron at all costs. The end of February came in the blink of an eye, yet still felt like an agonizing wait. You didn’t want to be anywhere near the man who caused your favorite holiday, the one that already felt like a reminder of a nightmare you could never wake up from into something even worse.  

You buried yourself back into the hole you’ve had yourself in over a year ago. A mental trap. One you’ve oh so desperately tried to dig yourself out of. The one he helped pull you up from. God, why can’t you forget about him? 

Your friends helped after your parents' accident, sure. They helped ease the normalcy back into your life. Drop offs at work, lunch at The Wreck, surf days— even if you refused to get into the water. But they couldn’t do for you what Rafe did. 

The way he could talk you down from spiraling. The way he related to the loss of a mother and her love. The loss of a father who stopped caring about your well being. It was a level of compassion and understanding that he only seemed to master and it fucked with you terribly now. 

You spent New Year's Eve with the pogues drinking bottles cheap champagne around the bonfire once again. The fire crackled and the waves lapped against the shore behind you. It brought a slight sense of peace. You fought the sadness, you fought the tears, just for one night. Despite how hard it was to be surrounded by friends who had no idea what was going on inside your head.

As the clock hit midnight, you joined in for the cheers and confetti. A real smile crept up on your face seeing the ones on your friends. You loved that they were so happy. Life didn’t hand any of them the good stick but they make the most of what they have. You just wish you had the ability to do the same.  

When those cheers died down, each couple leaned in to seal in the new year with kisses. It felt like your cue to disappear. You down the rest of your drink and slipped away. You climbed the porch and stepped inside, never noticing Sarah’s eyes following you as you retreated. 

It felt hypocritical and selfish to say, but you couldn’t stand to see them like that. Not when you had become the group's third wheel again— even if it was unbeknownst to them. Any type of newfound happiness you had was ripped out from under you just a week earlier. You wished it could’ve been you. You and Rafe. Seeing them like that felt like a punch to the gut. You felt guilty, but you couldn’t stop it. 

The rest of January, you worked. Timedragged when you were there but you threw yourself 110% into your shifts, picking up as many doubles as you could. One shift left enough time to head home, shower, change, and make your way to the next job. 

You forced yourself to ignore the ache in your chest. You ignored the urge to slip into darkness and shut yourself away again. You kept going. You had to. Because if you slowed down, even the slightest facing the smallest bit of silence, thoughts of him would creep their way in. 

Taking orders, running tables, the constant movement in your feet did just that. When you left the country club, the loud chaos of the biker bar at night did the job even better. The best part about it, you didn’t run into Rafe once. 

Even when his friends came into the country club, he was nowhere in sight. He thrived in this environment and it was like he vanished. It was weird. The vengeful part of you hoped that he locked himself away and regretted the embarrassment he caused you Christmas night. But there was still a part in your heart that was held for him, that just wanted to see him once. 

Still, even without him they would all stare at you. The center of their twisted attention. One of them would say something to the table that would make them all laugh and look back at you as if you were the butt of a very funny joke, just waiting to see if it could break. 

If they showed up and found themselves in your section, you swapped their table with another waiter just to protect your peace. 

It wouldn’t stop the whispers, but it kept you far from it. That was enough for you. 

You knew that there was a weird sort of consequence that was handed to him for embarrassing the kooks by being with a pogue. And you knew that news most likely spread through figure eight like wildfire, but you force yourself to not let it get the best of you. No matter how hard his friends didn’t want you to forget that night.

You spent the first few nights wondering what he said to Topper when he found out. Your texts were personal, all things on a deeper level. Things that no one else deserved to know. How did he spin it? How did he save himself from it so it all landed on you? 

You knew he had to, they all flocked after him that night. He turned it on you. That was something he was really good at. Getting his way out of trouble. Were you the obsessed pogue girl just trying to get the kook king to fall in love with you? Did he play it off to them as a way to get in your pants? The thoughts spun around like a tornado before you finally forced the basement door shut to keep yourself protected. 

It— he wasn’t your problem anymore. 

Sarah was the only one that you had confided in about her brother. She cornered you one night after another long shift. January 25th to be exact. One month after it all happened. She offered you a ride home when your car was in the shop. You were grateful to not have to walk, but you knew from the way she’d keep glancing over at you, this wasn’t just about a ride. 

She sensed something, of course she could, she was amazing at reading people. She could see the difference in you again. You looked the exact same as when your mom died. Last year was better for you, she knew that much. She thought it was just the pogues helping you. But the way you shut down the same way again, but trying your hardest to pretend like you were fine was what caught her attention. 

When the incident happened with your parents, you didn’t act as if your world had just shattered. You locked yourself away, you drank way too much, your sobs could be heard from the driveway. But this was different, too different. There was something her friend wasn’t telling her and it's a pogue code that when one is suffering they can’t stand by and watch it happen. 

She had pulled into a lot at the line that divided figure eight and the cut. It pulled up right near the water. The waves were a bit choppier from the cold weather, still the sound of them calmed you. Shit, why did this girl know exactly what to do? The windows were rolled down, the salty breeze ran through the Twinkie. She turned in her seat, facing you. 

“What’s going on with you?” 

You look at her, mouth opening but the words refusing to leave. You knew it was coming but you still didn’t know if you could face the truth. Saying it out loud makes it too real. Saying it out loud brings it to the surface when you’ve tried so hard to drown it. 

“I can see it, you know. You're quiet, you’re tired, you’re killing yourself at work. Something happened and I need to know. Please let someone in, you don’t deserve to feel like this again.” 

Her words broke you. It was the final crack in the dam that you’ve been trying so hard to hold together. Sarah wasted no time closing the space between to wrap her arms around you. After a few moments you regained composure. You sat back, taking a deep breath, and began to tell Sarah everything. 

Rafe finding you at the dock, the relationships that blossomed from there. The similarities that you both shared. How much he spoke about his mom in detail— something that Sarah never even does. How he became your person, the one who helped you most when everything felt too heavy to carry yourself, he helped lift that burden off of you. Finally ending with what happened on Christmas. 

You could see all the emotions she’s gone through, they were written very clearly on her face. Anger, confusion, maybe a bit of betrayal. But when you bring up her mom it softens. Opening up is something that Rafe Cameron never does and she knows it first hand. They were never close, that divide grew when she became a pogue. But she knew for certain that if Rafe opened up to you that way then what you had was real. 

She knew his appearance meant a lot to him. It’s something that their father instilled in all of them at a young age. The Cameron name carried on this island and any small inconvenience to it could ruin anything. Sarah never worried about it because she was his favorite and even with her leaving for a life on the cut, that seemed to fall into Rafe even more than her. 

She saw what this has all done for you and now she was angry. Not at you— but at her brother and his friends. How could he be so stupid? How could he ruin the one thing that seemed to go well in his life. He had something so real, something that he could be so proud of. Then Topper got in his head and he threw it away. 

Sarah did what she knew best. Be the person that you need. Be there for you when you felt no one else could. Distracted you from your thoughts. Had girls nights just the two of you. Show up to your work, just to brighten up your day. Cracked jokes just to watch you smile. 

She knew that it probably didn’t amount to what Rafe had done. But it meant more to you than anything. February had passed with a bit more ease thanks to her. The thoughts lingered but they were more soft. 

On the first day of March, you had the day off from the country club. Not voluntarily, not to use up some PTO. You were basically forced to by the manager, who needed to stop you from how much you were overworking yourself. You didn’t want this. The moment you woke up the voices in your head were already loud amongst the quiet. 

Your feet padded through the house. Down the hallway Rafe had to lift you from when you had a panic attack and couldn’t get up on your own. Past the couch in the living room where he’d hold you and whisper nothings into your hair when thoughts of your parents consumed you. Into the kitchen where he’d cook for you when you could muster up the energy to do it yourself. 

Your home, your safe space was nothing but a memory of what used to be. Photos of your parents, Rafe’s presence, there’s a reason you try not to spend too much time here. It’s a capsule for everything that you cannot stand to deal with. 

Nevertheless, you walked over to the counter and brewed yourself a fresh brew of coffee. It’s not often that you get to enjoy it like this. You try to trick your mind that this was good for you— a break was good for you. 

After enjoying your coffee, you took a look around at the state of the house. You had been on autopilot for so long, spending so much time working, avoiding being here, that you didn’t realize how messy it still was. The small Christmas tree you set up still sat in the corner, a little tilted, lights off but still plugged in. After picking up some stray clothing from around the room you made your way over to it. 

You began to pluck off the ornaments one by one, making sure not to look at them for too long. Then, you unraveled the lights, they stuck to the branches, crinkling from how old the plastic was. Finally, you take the tree placing it neatly in the box on top of everything else. You felt clear, the space that was meant for a happy time, now cleaned up and away from you view. 

That was until you noticed a glimmer of gold wrapping paper. A small box, left haphazardly behind, coated in a light layer of dust. You swallowed hard when you realized what it was. His gift. Something you couldn’t wait to give him, something you couldn’t wait for his reaction to see. 

You honestly had forgotten about it. You tried so hard just to forget about him as a whole, you didn’t even think about the gift. 

You placed it on the table, ripping open the paper, taking it out of the box. Your fingers held it gently. Not to preserve its state, but cautiously, as if it would burn your fingers if you held it too long. You grazed over the engraving, before slamming it down as the memories of your life raced through your mind. 

Standing up, you take a shower and get dressed. Heading for the door you grab nothing but your wallet and the watch. You want absolutely nothing to do with it. The physicality and the meaning behind it. If it stayed with you, it would haunt you forever and you didn’t need that in your life anymore. 

You drive into town as the watch sits in your passenger seat, taunting you. You know exactly how to get to the pawn shop, you don’t even have to think about the directions, you’ve needed to pawn enough in your life to get by, it’s practically a second home. 

You paid roughly $350 for the thing, the engraving was extra and you know it’d probably be a deal breaker here. Something personally costs more for them to make purchasable for others. You'd take a low ball amount. For god's sake, you’d take a nickel to get this thing out of your life. 

When you park the car, you step out into the cold air, you had to park quite a bit from the shop, which is fine, but the longer you have this watch in your possession the more you feel as if you could combust. Either way, you grab it with a little more force than usual and begin to make your way to Barry’s place. 

With all thoughts consuming you, you’re spaced out as you walk. You can’t keep your eyes off the watch. It makes you want the sidewalk to swallow you whole. If anything, it just makes you angry now. You want it gone, you just want Rafe Cameron out of your life forever. 

Before you could think about it anymore, your body collides with someone else, the watch slipping from your grasp and an arm reaches out to steady you. You’re already muttering apologies before you can even see the person you walked into. Your eyes are still on the watch as you watch the other person reach down and pick it up for you. 

“Sorry about that. Hope this is ok—”  he pauses once he examines it. You finally look up at who it is and of course the universe just has to be cruel to you on all days. Rafe. Why wouldn’t it be? 

You stand there silently as he looks at the watch. He could see the engraving on the backside. He’s just as silent when he looks back at you. Neither of you say anything for a moment. There’s not much to say anyways. For two months you were able to stay away from him. Two months without having to speak to him. You were glad about it too. 

You snatched the watch from his hand, ready to move around him, but he caught your wrist before you could make it anywhere. His grip was soft, gentle, as if he was afraid of breaking whatever fragile remnants still existed between the both of you. 

You fought his grip, yanking your arm free. He put his hands up in a mock surrender. He didn’t want to hold you here, he wanted to give you the option, but he really wanted you to stay. “Could you please give me the chance to explain?”

The idea of it could only make your eyes roll. You weren’t a violent person. You’ve cleaned up enough of your friends' bruises to know that a fight wasn’t something you’d ever want to be involved in. But your anger got the best of you. 

Before you knew it your hand was raised and smacking across Rafe’s cheek. The sound echoing through the street.  He held his cheek but didn’t say anything, he knew he couldn’t. He knew he deserved worse. 

“Explain?” You let out a short huff of a laugh. “Explain what exactly? How you embarrassed me? How you left me when it mattered most? How now I have to pawn off this stupid watch I spent months saving for because I can’t stand the sight of it?” 

Your chest was heaving, you didn’t realize how much anger you were holding back. The sadness covered it all, you didn’t even think it was possible for you to be angry. The words just kept coming, you didn’t want to let him speak before you got everything out. 

“You played me for a fool. I thought you cared about me. I thought you cared about the idea of us. That for once, you’d let these stupid island wars not get the best of you and actually love me. Instead you let me stand there and get humiliated. You don’t care about anyone but yourself.” 

He nodded slowly. Taking in each word, they settled for him. Because in all honesty he hadn’t meant to do that. He didn’t mean for you to feel this. “I had my reasons.” It was spoken quietly and defeated. But loud enough for you to hear. 

“Are you gonna elaborate or just stand there with your tail between your legs?” 

He runs a hand through his hair, he paces a bit. Typical Rafe, having to rev himself up for anything that serious. He just can’t get it out normally. “Topper had the upper hand here. I need you to realize this.” 

“What the fuck does that mean and what does that have to do with us?” 

“It means that Topper’s dad was in the works of signing off on a deal with mine. A huge deal. One that my dad would’ve had my head for if I fucked over. So when he saw those texts, he held the deal over me. Said if I continued it, he’d find a way to get his dad to back out and let mine know it was all on me.” 

His words hit you like a blow to the head. You actually think that might be a little easier to deal with than whatever kind of excuse this was. You’ve heard stories about his dad from Sarah. He’s confided in you about him himself and yet he still answers to him at any given cost. He still revolves everything around the man that makes his life miserable. 

“That’s it? That's why you gave up on us so quickly? Because you’re scared of daddy?” You knew you were aiming for the jugular with that one. You knew it was a sensitive topic for him. But you were so far gone, it almost didn’t matter anymore. 

He leans in a little closer, his finger violently pointing to himself in the chest. “I’ve hated this too, y’know. Your face that night haunts me in my dreams. Being awake doesn’t even help because all I see is you. I wish I could take that night back. I just want to be someone who could stand up to my father.” 

“You can, Rafe. When you finally decide to start living for yourself. You’ve made it clear to me, many times, that you hate that man. Why do you let him have a hold on you like this still?” The weight of everything makes it a little harder to speak. The words come out more broken. 

Still you find enough strength to get it out. You didn’t realize your body needed to vent to him like this. “I know that he makes it seem like you don’t matter and you believe him when he says it. But I had hoped that maybe I mattered a little more to you.” 

He looked absolutely devastated. His hand twitched, like he was fighting every muscle just to reach out and feel you. To comfort you. But he wasn’t the one that could offer something like that anymore. 

He lets out another defeated sigh. “I’m sorry. Really. I promise you this has been eating me alive just as much. I don’t know what to do without you.” He knows he’s lost. You, a future with you, another battle with his father. It’s all been crashing down on him too. You just couldn’t care to see. 

“Yeah well I’m sorry for ever letting you into my life. Now, if you don’t mind I gotta go sell this. Probably not worth much now that it’s all scratched up.” You wave the watch in your hand carelessly, and move past him again. This time he lets you but you only make it a few steps before he calls out to you. 

“Can I have it?” 

You stop, turning towards him slowly. “Excuse me?” 

“I want to have it. You got it from me. If I can’t have you, I’d like to have something of you. A piece of what used to be. Please?” 

You take a moment to contemplate. The engraving, the scratches from when it just fell. You’d be lucky to get even $100 for it. You wanted it gone but money is still money and you were in no mood to barter with Barry today. “It’s $350.” 

“Wha—”

“You want it so bad, you owe me what it costs. I’m not just going to give it to you. I spent months working to save for this. I got it engraved for you, because we— you made me think this was something real. Something worth living for. You don’t just get to take it.” 

“You meant more to me than you’ll ever know.” He sighed looking down at his feet. It pained him to look at you and know he’s the reason you’re hurt. 

“And now I’ll never know thanks to you. $350.” 

Rafe’s fingers fumbled as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He quickly counted a few bills and placed them in your hand. You do the same with the watch. You watched as his hand held it tightly. He fought the urge to cry, but you caught a single tear slip down his cheek. “You know I loved you right?” 

You vowed to stay away from him after he broke your heart, so with every little bit of strength you had thought turned and walked back to your car, leaving his question unanswered. The money in your hand felt like it was burning right through your skin. Counting it quickly so you could put it away, you see that he gave you $500. It cost $500 to officially say goodbye to Rafe Cameron.