WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT IN AN AFFINIS VINES RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO FUCKED UP

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WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT IN AN AFFINIS VINES RIGHT NOW THIS IS SO FUCKED UP

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OK so there's some hilarious shenanigans happening in my city:
There are (as far as i know) 3ish vervet monkeys roaming the streets of my city and it's started to make international news lmfao.
a few days ago, someone on the stl subreddit asked if anyone else saw a dead monkey on the side of the road, and everyone thought this fucker was high or insane, and then the reports started coming in. and someone caught one! so at the very least there is 2 more (or more) monkeys loose in the city somewhere.
these are monkeys from someone's home not the zoo.
...and. there's also a goat roaming the streets (also not from the zoo)
AND. there have been SO many AI posts about these fuckers that the police have no clue where these animals are. So much so, that as of today, THEY HAVE GIVEN UP THE SEARCH.
THERE ARE STILL MONKEYS (and a goat) LOOSE IN ST LOUIS AND THE COPS GAVE UP????
i fucking love this city so goddamn much holy shit
I saw the tv glow was a gut wrenching movie. i avoided it for so long, simply because i knew it would target a very specific feeling that id much rather forget. i sobbed, and immediately afterwards got into the vodka.
also connor o malley is in it for some reason
i'm starting to suspect i'm a therian.
*swishes tail thoughtfully*
but there's no way to know for sure...
*ear twitches in annoyance*
it feels like my phone is flirting with me whenever it puts my selfies into the 'Art' category
like !!!!!!
omg phone you really think i'm that pretty??? *swishes tail nervously*

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i need to feel teeth around my motherboard. i crave foreign paws to touch and tangle my wires. i am very normal about this
got my girl so high she started calling me Mrs.GF
currently foaming because both the guilty gear update AND monster hunter beta come out on halloween AAAAAAAAA