#ra*bits

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Time: Tens of minutes later

Location: Ra*bits hotel room

Mitsuru: —And ‘cause of that, Spri are up to their heads in hot water, so we should lend ‘em a hand! 

Nazuna: Wait, wait, wait! There’s no way we could do that, Mitsuru-chin! 

Mitsuru: Eh~? Why are you being so mean, Ni~chan! 

Nazuna: It wasn’t supposed to be mean… It’s just, Spri are our opponents right now, y’know? 

There’s no way we could do something as stupid as help out the competition, right~? 

Mitsuru: But aren’t good upperclassmen supposed to help their juniors when they’re having a hard time? Or am I wrong? 

Nazuna: Ugh, seriously Mitsuru-chin, you’re such a good kid~! 

Esu: …Um. What’s even happening right now!? 

Tomoya: Why are you confused…?

Esu: I was literally minding my own business until Speed-senpai grabbed me—no prior information whatsoever—and now here we are! 

Honestly, what on earth happened for things to lead to this? I’m gonna need an explanation, Raika. 

Raika: Well, I just thought I’d ask Mitsuru-oniisan for some help. 

Uh, did I maybe go an’ do somethin’ unnecessary again? 

I saw how you’ve holdin’ your head, thinkin’ an’ thinkin’ about what to do, an’ I just wanted to be helpful to ya… 

Esu: I mean, I’m really grateful for you thinking about me, don’t get me wrong… 

But that doesn’t mean you can just ask our opponents, Ra*bits, for help, okay!? 

Mitsuru: Don’t say that, Esu-chan! I’m sure this’ll be a good thing for Ra*bits too! 

Hajime: It’ll be good for us too…? 

Mitsuru: Mhm! I mean, the current atmosphere surrounding MM right now isn't very good, is it? 

That goes for the fans who saw our live that day too, it doesn’t really feel like they fully enjoyed themselves, right?

Tomoya: Well, yeah I guess I kinda see what you mean…

Prior to the first round, I was under the impression that there was quite a bit of excitement surrounding the whole “cuteness battle” thing… 

But since the first round ended up a dud, it feels like the amount of interest in the showdown as a whole has died down. 

Nazuna: Well… I think that can mostly be attributed to Spri letting down the expectations of their fans with a performance like that.

Esu: Oof… I don’t even have a comeback for that. 

Mitsuru: Come on, don’t go picking a fight, Ni~chan. Let’s get along with everyone in Spri! 

Nazuna: Get along? Mitsuru-chin, can you really forgive them after they said such a thing about us? 

Esu: (...”Such a thing”?)

Mitsuru: Of course I can! I’ve got my own thoughts about that too, but there are more important things to worry about right now! 

Hajime: “More important things”...? 

Mitsuru: Yup! Y’know, I thought MM was supposed to be way more fun than this. 

Like how everyone is super stoked for the Mellow Dear Us and Valkyrie showdown. 

Just like that, we were excited too, thinking our showdown with Spri would get everyone around the world up on their feet cheering! 

But instead we’re at odds with each other, and our fans are getting anxious. Nobody wanted things to end up like this! 

Nazuna: Hmm~ But us being at odds can’t really be helped given the situation, right? 

It’s a showdown, that’s basically a fight in a way… 

Mitsuru: So it’s only natural to act so unfriendly because we’re competing? I don’t think so. 

Each side has to give it their all for it to be a real showdown! It’s important to push each other to do their absolute best! 

Above all else we should be aiming to put on the best performance, both Ra*bits and Spri, that’d make our fans happy too, wouldn’t it?

Nazuna: Geh. So that’s why you want us to help them even though they looked down on us… 

Esu: ...Huh?

(The “such a thing” from earlier, and now with him saying we “looked down” on them.) 

(Words I don’t know the reason for keep popping up, but I kinda feel like we’re being misunderstood in a bad light.) 

Excuse me~ …Sorry to interrupt, but do you mind if I ask something real quick? 

So the thing about us looking down on Ra*bits, what’s that all about…?

Nazuna: Hah? You of all people should know, or do you seriously expect me to believe you forgot, Esu-chin! 

We heard you were bragging about how you could beat us without breaking a sweat! 

That’s what you were thinking when you chose us as your opponents, wasn’t it? 

Esu: EHH!? Nonono, I would never say such a disrespectful thing… 

…Hm? Actually Yume did mention something along those lines back when he was sulking, didn’t he…? 

……….

—I am! So very incredibly sorryyyyyy!!!! 

Nazuna: If you’re apologizing, doesn’t that mean you’re admitting to your crimes!? 

Esu: Well y’see, about that actually, if you’d let me explain—what you heard was just a figure of speech, I swear! 

First of all, Yume was totally bluffing when he said we could easily beat you guys… Okay well, it is my fault for not being able to stop him from saying it! 

But it is true that I chose you guys as our opponents because I thought we could win against you, and for that I’m so terribly sorry!!!!

Raika: Since Esu-sama is kneelin’ then I’ll kneel too! ‘M so sorry! 

Tomoya: Wait—you don’t need to kneel for this! Please raise your heads! 

Esu: No can do! It’s the complete truth that we said something so rude and disrespectful about you, our seniors in Ra*bits! 

But I’d like to explain my reasoning a little. I did have a real, solid strategy to win and that’s why I picked you to be our opponents. 

I didn’t go around saying we’d win without anything to back it up. That’s all—poor excuse, I know! 

In any case, the fault lies completely with us for our insolence, so allow us to apologize once more! We fully and sincerely apologize!

Mitsuru: See everyone, Ni~chan too, Esu-chan apologized! 

Nazuna: Haah… Oh well. I guess I’ll accept your apology, out of consideration for Mitsuru-chin. 

But if I catch you talking smack behind our backs again, there won’t be a second time, y’hear me? 

Esu: Of course! I’ll make sure to thoroughly drill that into Yume’s head later too! 

Hajime: …Got it. I’ll also put what happened yesterday behind me. 

I mean, I’d also like to get along with everyone in Spri as much as possible… 

Mitsuru: Mhm, mhm! That’s the spirit, Hajime-chan! 

Nazuna: Haah… Well, for now, the question is how exactly are we gonna go about helping Spri? 

Tomoya: Agreed. Actually, what do you think about this, Esu? 

Mitsuru offered to help, but is that what you really want us to do? 

Esu: Well… Yes. If you’d be willing to help us, then I’d really appreciate it. 

If I’m being honest, I have absolutely no idea how we’d even go about winning against you guys. 

I’ve got my hands full enough as is getting my members in line… And as leader, I really want to do something about it.

You could also say the reason we suffered a total upset in the first round is partly on me for failing to bring them together… 

Tomoya: …Got it. In that case, we’ll chip in and give Spri a hand this time. 

Like I said earlier, we wouldn’t want the attention over MM to fall even lower. 

I want us to have a proper competition, one that’ll draw in attention from all over the world. 

And for that to happen, it’s absolutely vital for our rivals, for Spri, to do their very best. 

Esu: Thank you very much…! 

Hajime: Even so, what might be the best way to help Spri…? 

We did say we’d help, but we still wouldn’t want to do anything that would give them the advantage, would we? 

…Or, I wonder if that might just be the nasty side of me talking. 

Tomoya: No, that’s not it at all. I was thinking the same thing actually. 

I want us to help Spri, while also keeping the advantage towards Ra*bits. 

That being said, does such a convenient method even exist…?

Nazuna: Well, in that case, what if we held a joint lesson? 

I mean, the final round of MM involves us doing a joint performance to a predesignated song, right? 

Tomoya: Oh right! I forgot about that! 

If we’re doing a joint performance then it’s only natural we’d practice it together. 

Yeah, I like it! What about you Esu, does a joint practice lesson sound good to you? 

Esu: It's perfect! Since you're our seniors I’m sure we’ll be able to learn a lot from you!

We’ll learn as much as we can, and become rivals worthy of going up against Ra*bits! 

[ ☆ ]

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

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Time: Several hours later

Location: A beach in Hawaii

Mitsuru: Dash~dash…! 

Ahaha☆ Running on the beach in Hawaii sure feels amazing~! 

Getting a change of scenery is so refreshing. That, and it’s the perfect way to exercise right after a meal! 

At the pace I’m goin’, it almost makes me wanna adventure out a bit further! 

I’d be in pretty big trouble if I got lost though, so I’ll just have to pass for now! I’d feel awful if I went missing and caused everyone to worry.

Hajime-chan especially, he’s already had a hard enough time today as is. 

(Hajime-chan is such an overthinker. Honestly, I just don’t get what it is he’s so worried about…) 

(Speaking of things I don’t get, our showdown with Spri is getting pretty confusing too…) 

(The vibes have been reeeeeally off ever since the end of the first round!) 

(Ni~chan and the others got all huffy about Spri, then over on SNS the fans have been arguing with each other like crazy…) 

(How’d things have to go and end up like this…?) 

(I thought it would be more exciting, I mean, it’s a world tour of all things! But everyone’s been on edge ever since it started, that’s no fun at all!) 

(I just wanted everyone to get along and have a blast together for our showdown…)

(I mean, it’s not like I don’t get why Ni~chan and the others are upset, y’know? Anyone would be angry after getting mocked like that—even me, I was furious.) 

(But when you look at it from Spri’s perspective, you can’t really fault them for going with someone they felt they could actually win against.) 

(That’s why… Umm~ I feel like I’m just going in circles for what I actually want to do about all this.) 

Jeez, I really wish they wouldn’t push me to use my brain this hard! 

Anyways, I gotta do something to fix this chilly atmosphere, stat! I want our showdown to be way more fun! 

But what do I need to do to make that happen…? 

(...Come to think of it, didn’t the ni~chan’s in Akatsuki help Crazy:B out when they got caught up in a controversy online, even though they were competitors?) 

(Although I think that whole thing turned out to be complete bogus…) 

Ah! In that case, maybe we should try calling up Spri to get a little closer with them…! 

Yup, yup, that’s it! I’m sure they’ll understand if we say loud and clear that we wanna get along with them! 

Now that that’s decided, I gotta ask Tomo-chan and everyone their thoughts— 

???: U…Uu…

Mitsuru: Uwah!? That startled me~... That voice… I think it came from the bushes over there? 

…No way, could it be a Hawaiian ghost!? 

Raika: …That voice, if ‘m not mistaken, isn’t that Mitsuru-oniisan? 

Mitsuru: Huh? So it wasn’t a ghost, it was actually just Raika-chan!? What are you doing, way out here? 

Raika: Ehihi, ‘m sorry… It’s ‘cause I’m as blind as a bird at night…

I was runnin’ around willy-nilly—not able to see a thing in front of me, an’ before I knew it, I ended up collapsin’ right here. 

Mitsuru: It’s really dangerous to walk around at night when you can’t see! Did Esu-chan or any of the other kids come with you? 

Raika: Aye, well, I wanted a breath of fresh air, an’ I really only meant to step out for a little bit, but… 

I was a little careless an’ completely forgot which way I came from… 

Uu… An’ I‘m just so hungry I don’t have the energy to walk anymore. 

Mitsuru: So that means you must’ve been wandering around out long enough to have completely missed dinner at the hotel, huh?

In that case, you can have this malasada pastry!

It came with dinner, and it was really yummy! 

Raika: D’ya really mean it!? Thank ya very much! 

Ehihi, I knew it, ya really are such a kind person, Mitsuru-oniisan♪

*Munch munch* Hyaa~~ this bread… It’s SO yummy~! 

Mitsuru: Ahaha! Feeding you bread like this kinda reminds me of the first time we met! 

At that time I found you collapsed on the side of the road and fed you some bread to get you back on your feet, right?*

Raika: Aye, an’ I’ve never forgotten your kindness since! 

If ya hadn’t saved me back then, Mitsuru-oniisan, then I might not have been here right now. 

An’ also all those other times ya helped me after that… 

Now that I’m thinkin’ about it, you’re always savin’ me, aren’tcha…? I feel like I‘m always causin’ ya nothin’ but trouble. 

Mitsuru: Nuh-uh, don’t even worry about it. It’s only natural to help a friend in need, don’tcha think? 

In fact, whenever you’re feeling hungry, you can always count on me to give you some bread! 

Raika: Mitsuru-oniisan… Thank ya very much! 

I’d be so happy if I could return the favor to you too someday. 

I might have a bit of trouble though, since I’m still so inexperienced. Even now, since I can’t do a single thing to help Yume-san… 

Mitsuru: Did something happen with Yume-chan? 

Raika: Uhh… I wonder how I should explain it…? 

Uh, Spri is havin' a lotta trouble at the moment…

Especially Yume-san… He’s been locked up in his room ever since yesterday.

Mitsuru: Yume-chan has? Is that because you guys lost the first round? 

Raika: ‘M not sure… It’s just, whatever it is, it’s makin’ me really worried about him. 

An’ then Esu-sama has been pullin’ his hair out, thinkin’ about what we should do from here on out to win MM… 

I don’t have any idea about what to do either… 

Mitsuru: So basically you went outside to get some fresh air, thinking you’d come up with a good idea while you’re at it, and got lost in the process?

Raika: That’s exactly it! Ehihi, you’re real smart, aren’tcha Mitsuru-oniisan? 

Mitsuru: Heheh! That’s ‘cause I’m a big ol’ grownup. It’s only natural for grownups to be able to figure out this much! 

But… Gotcha. So you guys are anxious over on your end too, huh? 

Raika: Aye… An’ to be honest, I just can’t think of anythin’ at all… 

What in the world are we supposed to do from now on…? 

I just wanted to sing an’ dance an’ have fun together with everyone in Spri durin’ the world tour… 

Mitsuru: …I see. So you felt that way too, huh Raika? 

I got it, in that case I’ve got a great idea! 

Raika: R-really!? 

Mitsuru: Yup, just leave it to me! ‘Cause I also wanna have a fun showdown with you guys too!

But for now we gotta get everyone else on board! Let’s go, Raika-chan! 

[ ☆ ]

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TL NOTE:

The title of this chapter "Kokua" means to provide assistance, working together!

From chapter 1 of VS Gourmet, also Raika's first appearance in story.

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

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Kanna: One question, if I may. For what reason, Esu-san, do you find yourself so fixated on the idea of achieving victory in MM?

Esu: Eh? Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m fixated on it? 

Kanna: No matter the outcome of MM, there were never any merits nor demerits to begin with.

At most, you simply gain the prestige resulting from being the sole unit to reach the top.

Esu: Um! I think that “prestige” is a pretty huge merit in itself though!? 

Isn’t being crowned the “World's Best Idols” a pretty big deal? 

Kanna: Be that as it may, that title is not practical by any measure. 

There is no substantial monetary reward to speak of, furthermore, winning does not lead to any special privileges. 

The only prize is to be honored as the “world’s best.” Which I do not find to be very enticing.

However it appears you do not share my sentiments, Esu-san, would that be correct? 

Esu: I mean, I wasn’t really thinking about anything complicated like that. 

Look. Plain and simple—I’d be downright thrilled if we won. It sucks to lose, y’know? 

Think of our fans, it wouldn’t be wrong to assume they feel the same way. 

And even though they had all those other way more charming idols to pick from, our fans chose to support us.

So it goes for them as well. It wouldn’t be strange to think they’d be happy if we won, and disappointed if we lost, would it? 

So what I’m saying is, we aren’t just fighting for ourselves, y’know. 

We’ll carry the weight of their expectations with us, standing on the world tour stage. 

We can’t just go letting them down, can we? 

Kanna: Haah… Is that your thought process?

Esu: Why do you look like this isn’t clicking for you! I don’t think it was even that difficult to understand! Right, Raika…? 

Raika: …Eh? Ah, yes! I guess so? 

Esu: You weren’t paying attention at all, were you!? 

Raika: Eek…! ‘M, ‘m so sorry! Ya were goin’ on an’ on about complicated stuff so I just… 

Kanna: I agree. I myself experienced difficulty in parsing the complex matter Esu-san has just laid out for us.

Raika: Ya couldn’t understand it either, Kanna-sama!? Hya~ That must make Esu-sama one clever mister, huh? 

Esu: No, I really didn’t mean for it to come off as complicated, I swear!? 

Kanna: Your argument suffers from enhanced levels of emotional interference, which acts as a disruption to logical interpretation. 

Nevertheless, I have obtained a general understanding. Human beings, above all else, are living creatures who strive to meet expectations, after all.   

Fans had been looking forward to this showdown prior to the beginning of our match, referring to it as a “battle of cute.” 

Therefore, Esu-san, your feeling of wanting to live up to those expectations is simply an inevitability. 

Then again, those feelings are due to the unconscious desire not to disappoint others. A wish to not lose your own sense of self worth which ultimately stems from your exorbitant need for approval.

Esu: Can we chill!? It had a promising start, then you just had to ruin it!

Kanna: To be frank, it's a hassle. However, if you are that insistent, then I suppose I shall think of some countermeasures. 

Esu: Eh, really!? Has Kanna finally decided to feel motivated for once?

Kanna: I’ve been motivated from the beginning. Although my lack of action may have contributed to the minor criticisms online. 

In that sense, I suppose it would not hurt to make some moves to avoid another potential commotion. 

Esu: …That’s not really the kind of response I thought I’d get, but... Eh, whatever! 

Alright! Now to get Yume on board somehow…  

Since Kanna is here, that means we’re already way past our scheduled lesson time, right? So like, what happened to him? 

Kanna: If you’re referring to Yume-san, he was still secluding himself in the room when I left. 

He has presumably been in an unrelenting bad mood since yesterday. 

Esu: Still keeping up with his Spoiled Princess Mode, I see… 

Raika: Yume-san… I guess us losin’ came as a huge shock to him, didn’t it? 

I wanna come up with a good plan that’ll cheer Yume-san right up… 

Yume: Grr… (Looking at comments about MM on SNS) 

—Tasteless. Tasteless! It’s just more of the same bad takes… Everyone is completely blind! 

……….

………. (Picks up phone and goes back to scrolling) 

Ah…! This reply! 

“Spri was cuter”—so there are people with good taste out there! 

On top of that, this person also went on to say that our performance was better! 

Ufufu, Yume knew there were others who truly understood Yume's vision. 

In that case, it’s fine. As long as there are people who understand Yume, Yume is satisfied—

…Eh? What is this comment…? 

“They can’t even be cute properly. Not worth my time" ? 

“It’s like they’re playing idol dress-up, where’s the passion” ?

“‘Unicorn Princes’? I feel like I remember playing that in preschool.” ? 

…Hah! Yume can’t believe this. Yume never knew there were this many stupid people! 

Yume thought it would be enough to make them notice us if Yume showed them Spri as we usually are. Yume was far too naive. 

…But… That’s right. Aside from Yume, it’s the other kids that were obviously underprepared. 

Still, Yume never thought they’d go as far as to drag Yume into that bunch as well. That much Yume can agree on, Yume overlooked that fact.  

But next time, they won’t be able to say a single word. 

The world Yume creates is not one of playing dress-up, or games you’d play at preschool. Yume will prove it. 

—Those Ra*bits only act like they’re cute. Yume will show them all—show everyone that Spri is much cuter than that group of Pick-Me’s! 

[ ☆ ]

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PART 1 IS DONE!!!!

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Previous Chapter ~ Next Chapter

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Time: At the same time

Location: The Megasphere Tower lesson room

Esu: It’s time! For the first ever emergency meeting in order to give Yume and Kanna some good old fashioned motivation~!!!! 

Raika: Yaaaaay! Clappity clap clap~! 

Esu: This isn’t the kind of meeting you start off by saying “Yaaaay!” while clapping your hands all excitedly, Raika.

Esu: This is an extremely serious meeting that will determine the future of Spri from here on out!  

Raika: Is that so? But is it really okay to not call Yume-san an’ Kanna-sama on over for such an important soundin’ meetin’...? 

Esu: Thank you for the immediate headache inducing question, Raika. Were you even listening? 

For one thing, if I was able to get them over here then we wouldn’t be having this meeting in the first place!

Haah… I had the slightest glimmer of hope that us getting completely obliterated would’ve been reason enough to get them motivated, alas, t’was all for naught…  

If anything you could say it’s gotten worse, Yume’s heart isn’t even in it at all now.

Raika: D’ya think Yume-san is alright? He’s been holed up in his room since yesterday, I’m real worried about him. 

Esu: This is just your typical Yume tantrum, he’ll walk it off. Instead of worrying about him, we should be more worried about our garbage reputation. 

We weren’t really at the top of our game yesterday, which might’ve sparked a liiittle bit of a controversy online. 

Haah… Aren’t we in for a total straight-set loss at this point!? 

We can’t even complain if our agency decides to fire us after they see the mess we’re in! 

On the other hand, there’s Kanna, who seriously suggested that we’d be better off conserving our energy since our loss is basically set in stone…

Ugh, you’ve gotta be kidding me! Honestly, those two Bothersome Brothers are always such a pain in my butt! 

Anyway, I’m in need of an ingenious plan to get those guys to do anything—posthaste!  

Raika: Aye! If it’s a plan ya need, I think I got a good one!  

Esu: Alright! To our quickest and speediest volunteer, Raika! The floor is yours! 

Raika: Let’s give ‘em tons an’ tons of yummy food to eat! ‘Cause once your tummy is nice an’ full, you’re sure to be full of happiness too! 

Esu: We’ve been eating nothing but good food ever since we got to Hawaii though, haven’t we…? 

Besides, those guys don’t really eat all that much~ I don’t think food is our answer here. 

Raika: Umm, then what if we gave 'em their favorite things? 

Esu: Their favorite things, huh? Mmm~ I don’t think baiting them with stuff will work either~ 

I wouldn’t be struggling this much if that’s all it took to get them moving, after all.

Also, Yume aside, I couldn’t even begin to tell you the stuff Kanna likes. 

Raika: In that case, we're in luck since Kanna-sama told us all about it back when we did our smile practice!*

Umm… Huh? What was it again? 

Esu: He definitely said something. A bunch of super difficult somethings, at that. 

Dark matter, blah blah blah, something or other being undecipherable… 

Kanna: Uncovering the mystery of dark matter and dark energy, accounting for 85% of the universe. As well as deciphering the Voynich Manuscript, which has remained as such to this day. 

Esu: Yeah, like that. Kinda reminds you of some sort of magic spell, almost... Wait, Kanna!? You’re here already? 

Kanna: I arrived at the designated time, as scheduled. In fact, wouldn’t the two of you be considered the early ones in this scenario?

I was not given prior notice of the lesson time moving forward, however.

Raika: Ehihi, we were actually just in the middle of havin' an emergency meetin’! 

Esu-sama an’ I were thinkin’ about ways to help you an’ Yume-san get up an’ goin’! 

Do ya got any good ideas, Kanna-sama? What should we do to motivate the both of ya?

Esu: I mean, there’s not really any point in asking the unmotivated person himself, is there…? 

Kanna: …I see. I have understood the current situation.  

Firstly, I would like to start by revising your cognitive discrepancy. Strictly speaking, it is not that I am particularly unmotivated. 

Esu: Yeah right, you so aren’t motivated no matter how you look at it! Going on about how we’re gonna lose—you’ve been sticking with your energy saving schtick this whole time! 

Kanna: Do you not feel as if you’re being rather hasty, prematurely deciding that wanting to conserve energy constitutes a lack of motivation? 

I strive for the path of utmost efficiency. I am doing what I must in accordance with my philosophy.

Take now, for example. I’m attending our lessons without fail, am I not? 

Esu: Well, yeah? I guess if you really did want to save energy, you probably wouldn’t join us for lessons. 

Okay then, so why is it that our lessons are the only thing you’re taking seriously, mister? 

Kanna: As per my earlier statement, I am here according to our schedule. 

Putting on a substandard performance where we cannot so much as show our faces to the public would sow undue discord, which would be a bother in itself. 

I deduced that fulfilling the scope of my activities is the least I can do so as not to be discourteous to the fans. 

Esu: Well your deduction comes too little too late! We’ve already become a little bit of a controversial topic y’know! 

Besides, isn’t it just as discourteous if you don’t give your all for the win? 

Kanna: Whether we “give it our all” or not is ultimately a matter of pure subjectivity.

As far as the fans are concerned, results are everything. That being the case, the question of doing one’s utmost does not particularly matter.

Esu: …That… May be so, but… 

Kanna: ………

[ ☆ ]

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TL NOTE: This is a direct reference to Magical Uni - How to Fix a Broken Machine - Chapter 6 where Raika was trying to teach Kanna how to laugh/crack a smile at the very least, and Kanna describes what would make him truly happy--which ultimately made Raika admit defeat.

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