Let this serve as my petition to call the Lockhart/Quirrell ship “Stagefright,” for obvious reasons
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Let this serve as my petition to call the Lockhart/Quirrell ship “Stagefright,” for obvious reasons

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It interests me that the party line Dumbledore and Snape give us for Quirrell is "greedy" and "ambitious".
However, Dumbledore's very own trap shows the reverse is true.
Dumbledore's Mirror trap is stated to be that anyone looking into the Mirror of Erised and wanting the Stone for themselves will either:
-see themselves drinking the life elixir
or
-see themselves transmuting lead to gold.
Quirrell only sees himself presenting the Stone to Voldemort. That's it.
Something to please someone else, something to gain approval. No power, no wealth, no worship, no dominance.
So, what is Quirrell’s deepest desire?
Not riches, immortality, personal glory, not even to regain safety.
He just wants to please someone else so completely that he earns a place in their world.
It’s devastating, it's intimate, it's small, it's enormous.
Dumbledore’s trap was designed to catch selfish men, but it caught a lonely one.
The mirror reveals:
Harry sees family.
Ron sees recognition.
Dumbledore sees forgiveness.
Quirrell sees approval.
This is not the fantasy of a power-hungry man.
This is the fantasy of someone who has never felt enough on his own terms, someone who has spent his whole life as the clever, strange boy useful to others but never cherished by them.
He doesn’t dream of possessing the Stone, he dreams only of being worthy of handing it over.
That’s why Voldemort fits his wound, he offers a phantom version of what Quirrell wants: attention, purpose, intensity, acknowledgment.
He is not a villain because of hunger for power, he is a villain because of hunger for meaning.
He wants to matter to someone, and Voldemort is the first person who ever made that feel possible in any real capacity.
I headcanon that Lockhart's two older sisters dressed and made him up like a doll when he was young
Spreading our dark gospel throughout the land...
7 of these 11 are by me or @greenvillainredemption
If I could ask Peter Pettigrew anything, I would ask him what it felt like to be a goblet

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Days 2, 3, and 4, enjoying our rental car flat tire, Lockhart decapitated, and more
Prompt: slicked | @taylorswiftmicrofic | WC: 468 | Quirrellhart
Summary: Quirrell can handle dark magic, memory tampering, and Gilderoy Lockhart. Public couplehood is another matter entirely.
The elevator rang for the hotel rooftop.
Gilderoy exited with Quirinus a few steps behind, checking his watch. Gilderoy caught his wrist.
“You look like the White Rabbit. Stop fussing.”
“It's eight minutes past nine,” Quirinus said woefully. “I've made us late.”
A pristine mirror stood across from the elevator bay and Gilderoy checked his hair.
“It's fine. It's for casual drinks, not a public appearance.”
Quirinus looked up at him for the first time since the elevator. He looked even paler than usual, lips pressed into a thin line.
“And am I your research assistant? Or…” he trailed off, eyes flicking away. “Or whatever it is I actually am?”
Dead By Daylight AU
Backstory:
Lockhart drags Quirrell to North Africa on the promise of a “remarkable account” involving the notes of reclusive alchemist Talbot Grimes.
It’s thin, secondhand, but exactly the kind of thing that turns into a book if you can make it behave. Quirrell goes for the method; Lockhart goes for the story.
Quirrell crosses the black threshold into the Bleed intentionally. Lockhart doesn't understand it, but he understands following Quirrell and not losing the moment. So, he steps in after him.
They follow it to a site that shouldn’t exist: glassed stone, odd growth, a smell like burnt sap.
Lockhart’s perks:
Now You See Me While wounded and in chase, press the action button to drop into the dying state. You make no noise and show no aura for 8/9/10 seconds.
Now You Don’t When fully recovered from the dying state by any means, and the Killer is within 3 meters, stun the Killer for 1/2/3 seconds.
Authorized Biography When another Survivor is hooked, gain a token.
At 2/3/4 tokens, press the action button while near another Survivor to reveal the Killer’s aura to both of you for 4/5/6 seconds and grant a 5% Haste effect for the duration. Using this perk consumes all tokens.
“I took the liberty of improving the account. Much more compelling this way.” - Gilderoy Lockhart
Quirrell’s perks:
Unbinding After interacting with a totem or chest, gain the ability to see the Killer’s aura for 3/4/5 seconds. This perk has a cooldown of 60 seconds.
Threshold After vaulting a window or pallet, gain Endurance for 5 seconds. If Endurance prevents a down, become Exhausted for 60/50/40 seconds.
Magizoology When outside the Killer’s terror radius, if the Killer disturbs a crow, you see their aura for 3/4/5 seconds. This perk has a cooldown of 80/70/60 seconds.
“There are thresholds one recognises only after crossing them.” - Quirinus Quirrell