So much had changed in the clan in the past few moons, and it wasn't just the addition of Lester and her kits, or the rainfalls and monsters.
The clan itself had changed. Tumbledaisy now spent most of the night sitting guard to scent a rainfall before it could hit the camp. They had to cover themselves in the protective mixture each time they left the camp. No patrol left without a conch horn, or a sling fashioned from found Two-leg materials. Prey was being found from time to time with the mysterious black substance leaking from its eyes, and no one knew what it was or why it was happening. Just that it was.
The world had become so strange in just a pawful of moons and Amberpaw accepted it, though he didn't necessarily like it.
He trotted behind Flintfur, Skypelt, and Quietback, Civetbeak still recovering from his wound in the medicine cat den, keeping an eye out for any prey.
It was a border patrol, but feeding the clan and having a good stock, especially with the weirdness of the prey lately.
"Amber, stop dallying." Skypelt said and Amberpaw picked up his pace.
He had only been lingering at the back because he knew what Skypelt would do. She would talk to him and touch him and he loved her, but he didn't want that. But he obeyed and fell into step beside her, realizing how big he was getting right then.
He wasn't even twelve moons yet, but he was definitely bigger than the other apprentices had been at his age, and he suddenly felt self-conscious about it.
"Are you all right, little one?" Skypelt asked, brushing her tail over his flank.
"Fine." Amberpaw replied, shying away.
"You're getting so big. You look so much like Ashtalon, too." Skypelt said, looking him over, as if their thoughts had connected for a minute.
"No, I don't. Flintfur says he was darker than I am, and was a tabby." Amberpaw said, and he really didn't want to talk about his parents.
He couldn't remember them, after all, and though it was silly, he felt resentment at them for not being here with them. He missed Firkit and Shrewkit, too, but the bitterness was different. Copsespots hadn't died on purpose- death during kitting happened- but Ashtalon... He hadn't had to go out that day. He hadn't had to go out and meet those rogues. And that was a great source of bitterness for Amberpaw, even if he felt guilty for it.
"I can see him in you. More him than Copsespots." Skypelt told him and Amberpaw wanted to sigh.
Skypelt began talking to him about his training and everything else and Amberpaw listened, answering her questions, noticing Quietback glancing back at them from time to time with an unreadable expression on his face.
As they approached the borders with Weedclan and Foggyclan, pawsteps pounded, and Lester suddenly burst from the brush, blood staining the mixture on her pelt.
"Lester! What happened?" Flintfur exclaimed, stopping the slim she-cat.
"Those dang Weedclan cats! I was walkin' along, minding my own business and checking the herbs on our side of the border, but one of them got all bent out of shape and clawed my ears!" Lester hissed, tail lashing furiously.
"They crossed the border?" Quietback asked, eyes widening.
"One of 'em. Some big brute who must have mud between his ears! I didn't do nothing, Flintfur, I swear!" Lester said, her conch and sling bouncing against her heaving flanks.
"I believe you, Lester. Go back to camp, and we'll deal with this." Flintfur ordered, eyes lingering on the blood streaming from Lester's ear.
Lester nodded and for a moment Amberpaw thought he was going to be sent back as well, but he was not.
"No one attack until I give an order." Flintfur ordered the patrol, and they all nodded.
They reached the Weedclan border and found two cats there, one a huge ginger tabby and the other an apprentice who looked almost like a kit beside him. They were very purposefully marking the border and Amberpaw was surprised they were still here, in all honesty. And even more surprised they didn't have any protection on.
"Hello, Hollowclaw." Flintfur said coolly and the huge warrior swung toward him.
"You got some nerve, Hyacinthclan. Crossing our border and eating our prey, leaving the bones for us to find, and then coming to take our herbs." Hollowclaw growled, fluffing up his fur.
"None of our warriors have done such a thing. And Lester was on our side of the border."
"That loner joined you?"
"Yes. She is our medicine cat, and therefore deserves your respect. Straying over the border to attack one of our cats is quite the offense. Should I take this to Runningstar?" Flintfur asked, eyes narrowed.
"Why do you think we did it?" Amberpaw blurted out, offended.
Skypelt slapped her tail over his mouth.
"Every cat knows that Hyacinthclan's scent has changed because of that disgusting stuff you wear on your pelts now. We found a strange scent around the prey, close to our border with you. It wasn't Foggyclan and it definitely wasn't Kinkclan or Ferretclan." Hollowclaw growled and Quietback stood pointedly beside Flintfur.
"We have ample territory and prey to go with it. We have no need to cross your border or steal your prey or herbs, Hollowclaw." Flintfur said pointedly.
Amberpaw locked eyes with the other apprentice, but they were shaking like a leaf, and he was willing to bet they were only six moons old.
"Liars." Hollowclaw hissed and Skypelt hissed back.
"Well, if that is how it's going to be, I'll be sending Wiggity Wacks and a warrior to discuss things with Runningstar and your mediators." Flintfur said and Hollowclaw bared his teeth.
Flintfur began to mark the border and Amberpaw followed suit, Quietback and Skypelt waiting. Hollowclaw growled, but he beckoned the apprentice and stormed off into Weedclan territory, Skypelt lashing her tail once they had gone.
"How dare they! Accuse of prey-stealing when we have so few cats compared to the other clans and boast one of the richest territories." she spat, the smell of her anger sharp in Amberpaw's nose.
"Hollowclaw is always looking for trouble, Skypelt, and you know it. If it wasn't us, then it must have been rogues, which mean we have a problem on our paws." Flintfur said levelly, brushing his tail against her side.
Skypelt huffed and took a breath, and Quietback glanced around.
"We should look to see if we can find any signs of them; if they're close to our border they may have been wandering our territory." he said and Flintfur nodded.
The patrol continued, carefully marking their borders and checking for any strange scents or tracks, and Amberpaw did feel a little excited. He had never gotten to do anything like this before, and it felt like a sign that he was definitely growing up, making his way toward being a warrior.
They found fresh scents soon enough and the fresh remains of prey, and then-
"Well, well, if it isn't some clan cats." a voice said and a band of cats slid from the brush, five in all.
Skypelt immediately shoved herself in front of Amberpaw and he staggered, Quietback and Flintfur assuming battle positions.
"You're on clan territory. If you leave now, we will not harm you." Flintfur said, his claws out, his voice a deep command.
"Now, why would do that? You come here moons ago and take a good chunk of land that didn't belong to anyone, and now that all this shit is happening, you clan cats are hoarding everything. Territory, prey, herbs, shelter, knowledge..." the leader, a huge scarred she-cat, said, sauntering in front of them.
"We are happy to share knowledge about what has been happening to you, but we can not condone thieving." Flintfur said and Amberpaw admired his calmness, even if his tone was as sharp as a claw.
"I really don't think it should be considered thieving when you were the thieves first." the she-cat hissed, and suddenly there were no more words, no more anything.
The rogues just attacked and Amberpaw watched as the warriors began to fight, his battle training running through his head. He had never even fought a border skirmish before, though he had trained hard with Civetbeak, Flintfur, Skypelt, and the other apprentices.
But he wasn't going to let Skypelt put herself in danger for him like this; he was ten moons old now, and he could fight. He knew how. He wasn't going to cower while his clanmates were in danger, because he was training to be a warrior, and this was what warriors did, after all.
Amberpaw had always thought he might be afraid when it came to his first battle. He wasn't.
No, he moved exactly how he had trained and drawing blood from the warrior who was swiping at him, his claws tearing through the fur and into the flesh below.
The she-cat looked shocked by the blood welling over her face and Amberpaw hissed, doing everything he had been taught.
It was a rush of fur, claws, and teeth all around him and he had no time to check his clanmates or anything else, focusing only on the cat attacking him. A blow opened a wound on his shoulder and he hissed, twisting to the side and launching himself up into the air as his opponent struggled to keep up with him.
He landed on her shoulders and knocked her to the ground, rolling her to the forest floor, and they began to wrestle, teeth snapping at each other, claws raking and drawing blood, Amberpaw's breath being repeatedly knocked out of him.
He didn't stop or give up, even as wounds stung across his body, and he gave as good as he got. He didn't fight to kill, though he could have if he needed to. He didn't. That wasn't how clan cats fought, even if these cats were doing that, and that wasn't how his father had done it either.
And maybe Amberpaw resented the comparison and couldn't really remember the cat that was his father, but he did find that was something he wanted to live up to.
He kicked the she-cat off and swiped at her soft underbelly when she reared above him, drawing deep red lines that stained her unprotected fur. She screeched and scrambled back, and Amberpaw was able to send her fleeing.
They were no longer outnumbered, but that didn't matter; the big she-cat was lunging for Skypelt, who was engaged in battle with another and had her back exposed.
"SKYPELT!" Amberpaw yowled and launched himself forward.
He skidded through the leaves between them, about to swipe with all his might, and that was when a vicious blow slammed into his throat.
The pain was nothing like Amberpaw had ever felt... Or was it...? He didn't know and he didn't think, just felt the hot gush from his neck, felt the protection on his fur soaking through in a weird way, and he swayed.
Everything was sharp and loud and bright and he stared at the she-cat, who stared at him in shock too, and Amberpaw collapsed.
He felt the terror as he remembered Starclan had either abandoned them or been cut off for them before the black folded over him, and that he might become a monster.
And then... There was no starry cat for Amberpaw. No starry territory either. But there was no dark forest filled with mud and fog either.
No, Amberpaw was... Underwater. He wasn't drowning and he wasn't sure if he was breathing, exactly, but he wasn't dying. Huge fish and what he guessed to be whales (he had never actually seen a whale except for very far away) swam through the clear blue water and he could see sand below, sky and light shining through from above, and there was also... A cat.
Him.
It was his body floating above him and, instinctively, Amberpaw clawed his way toward it, reaching, stretching, and- Before he touched his body, he saw... Something. He couldn't tell if it was in the water or floating above, but he saw a cat shape surrounded by... Things...
And then his paw touched his paw and Amberpaw was spiraling through a tunnel he couldn't describe, blood rushing around him, and then-
He sat up with a choking gasp, spewing out blood, and Skypelt screamed.
She leapt back with a yowl, fur fluffed up, and stared at him, and Amberpaw stared at her woozily.
"A-Amber-"
"What... What happened?" Amberpaw said, though the ocean was still in his mind, and seeing his body.
Quietback and Flintfur were staring at him as well, all three warriors staring at him in shock, mouths moving, fur fluffed, injuries weeping blood as they stared.
"You... Amberpaw, you were dead. Your throat was torn out." Flintfur said slowly and approached him.
He nosed the fur around Amberpaw's throat, clotted with blood and protection, but... Only a dark scar remained beneath, easily hidden by the fu.
He stared and stared and Amberpaw curled in on himself, dizzy, disoriented, and then Skypelt was on him. He whimpered in protest and she curled around him, licking at his pelt despite the muck.
"Oh, my precious kit. Oh, I had thought I had lost you. But I knew. I knew." she whispered and her words were strange, but Amberpaw hardly registered them.
"How am I alive?" he whispered.
"It must be Starclan's doing." Quietback said and shook himself.
"They're gone and they won't come back if they know what is good for them, but we need to return to camp." Flintfur said, gathering himself together.
Amberpaw had to lean on Skypelt for most of the walk back to camp, and then he was back in the medicine cats' den, all four tending to the patrol, Goldstar, Yellowlily, and Aphidrise soon joining them.
Flintfur recounted what had happened and everyone stared at Amberpaw as Jackdawnudge examined him, using soaked moss to clean away the blood and protection.
"You should be dead. But you're not." he said gruffly, eyes narrowed.
"Did you see anything? Can you describe it?" Plumsong asked as he spread poultice on Skypelt's leg.
Amberpaw did, very conscious of everyone watching him and listening, and all the medicine cats exchanged looks.
"That don't sound something Starclan, no?" Lester said, looking at her fellow medicine cats.
"It's not." Plumsong confirmed and Amberpaw wanted to shrink into the moss and disappear.
Was he some kind of freak? Was he a monster like that queen and her kits and the thing that had attacked Lester?
"Starclan is cut off from us. Maybe... Maybe it is possible that a soul can find their way back to their body, like a leader losing their lives, in the right circumstances. Perhaps that is what happened to Amberpaw." Jackdawnudge said and this drew up new questions.
Why had no other cat (that they knew of) done this? How was it possible? Were souls really not getting into Starclan?
There were debates that it was maybe Starclan's doing, that Amberpaw had seen the waters of the Beach of Stars, but the sand had been white. Amberpaw didn't say that, however.
He listened as Plumsong and Wasp decided to journey to the Five Oakes and things were discussed, and he winced as pain pulsed in his belly.
"Amberpaw?" Jackdawnudge asked, noticing.
"My belly..." Amberpaw said, rolling to expose it.
The stark scar there was plain to see and he couldn't remember how he had gotten it; he had had it ever since he had been a kit. Skypelt said it had come from the day he had snuck out of camp.
Jackdawnudge began to press and examine him, sniffing too, but there was nothing to find and he shook his head.
"It must just be a phantom pain. I'll give you a poppy seed, just in case." he said, and Amberpaw was quite sore.
His wounds ached and so did his neck even though that wasn't really a wound anymore, even though it was healed somehow.
Skypelt sniffed him worriedly, her eyes filled with emotions Amberpaw couldn't describe. She licked his ears again and he flattened himself, flattening his ears.
"Let me clean you the rest of the way." she muttered and he really had no choice.
She cleaned the protection from his pelt and groomed him so he wouldn't cold, and Amberpaw was shaking and felt sick by the time she finished.
"Goldstar..." he asked, seeing the leader was still here.
"Was it like that when you lost a life?" he asked quietly, worriedly.
"No, it was not. But you were not given lives by Starclan, little one, so even if they did bless you, it would be different." Goldstar said, her tone reassuring.
Amberpaw was certain she was just trying to make him feel better and Jackdawnudge and Lester soon shooed everyone else out of the den, save for Quietback, who had been the worst hurt aside from Amberpaw.
"Eat this." Jackdawnudge said, holding out a paw, which had a poppy seed stuck to the pad.
"I don't want it." Amberpaw muttered.
"You'll take your medicine, or I'll force you to." Jackdawnudge said severely.
Amberpaw reluctantly obeyed and sighed, Jackdawnudge starting to leave, and then he stopped.
"Amberpaw?"
"Yes?"
"Did you see anything... Strange? Before what happened? Or in the sea?" he asked and the tone of his voice was strange.
Amberpaw didn't notice, but Quietback had stiffened in his nest, still and listening, and Amberpaw thought to tell Jackdawnudge of the thing he had seen.
But he couldn't find the words and he was afraid of it, of what it might mean, of what the medicine cat think it meant.
"No." he said and Jackdawnudge nodded, looking troubled.
Amberpaw settled down, feeling disoriented, failing to notice Quietback watching him, mouth opening several times, before, finally, the warrior turned away.
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