Consequently, the Christian must wage war against the enemies of his soul,
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ." (2 Cor. 10:5)
He must strive to abandon the dichotomous love-hate relationship with his sin. His flesh loves it and wants it to remain, though he understands the evil of it and longs for God to set him free. He cries out to the Lord and then, a day or two later, is right back in the middle of his sin. Rather than giving him an instantaneous deliverance or a desired "quick-fix," the Lord wants him to learn how to battle against it. Why?
In order that he learn to hate evil as the Lord does. As any good soldier, the man who overcomes must stay in the fight to the very end, depending solely on the Lord's help. Eventually, he will truly develop a righteous indignation (i.e., hatred) for his sin and the evils which war against his soul.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 13/13
Fandom: Team Fortress 2
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Medic/Scout (Team Fortress 2), BLU Medic/BLU Scout (Team Fortress 2), Scout & Sniper (Team Fortress 2), Scout & Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Characters: BLU Medic (Team Fortress 2), BLU Scout (Team Fortress 2), BLU Sniper (Team Fortress 2), RED Scout (Team Fortress 2), RED Medic (Team Fortress 2), RED Spy (Team Fortress 2)
Additional Tags: Period-Typical Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Intimacy, Trust Issues, Team as Family, Team Bonding, Suicide Attempt, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suicide, Not Really Character Death, Non-Explicit, Masturbation, Self-Hatred, Trauma, Canon-Typical Violence, Psychological Trauma, Psychosis, Heavy Angst, Medic has a Dissociative Disorder, Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD), Spy is Scout's Parent (Team Fortress 2), The Second Opinion (Team Fortress 2), Scout Knows Spy Is Scout's Parent (Team Fortress 2)
Series: Part 3 of Still Human
Summary:
If you cut a man, he will bleed. If you inflict pain on someone else - it will leave an ugly mark. As daily duties and mercenary work trudge on - the BLU Medic found himself disintegrating - trying, but failing not to re-open old wounds. Drowning himself in paperwork and responsibilities to get away from the thought of treating himself and acknowledging how he truly feels, an old “friend” from the other side rings him up. He has a patient in desperate need of his help.
Third part of the four part series, "Still Human".
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Aaand that’s a wrap for this story, folks. Next bit should be coming up soon.
Read more for some author notes if you want ig
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yeah so I’ve been hinting that the BLU Medic is p much a self-insert character right? Well... yeah. You might understand better what I mean by now - after reading this chapter.
The self-imposed guilt, the ‘dissociative condition’ (in my case it’s full-blown DID tho, so it’s a bit different from what the Medic goes through), and the deliberate, cold personality... yeah. It’s all things I’ve basically been through, and have had to deal with, myself.
If you know my music, you probably know what the deal is. I don’t exactly hide it.
That aside - I only really continued this story because I’m finally in a better place in my own life - so you don’t need to worry about me or my mental health, really. It’s something I kinda need to figure out on my own.
Anyways, I hope you stick with me a bit longer - the next (and final) section of The Gays is gonna be a fuckin novel.
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