#queeruma

Belle. Every time I look at her I want to smack her stupid face. The way she looks so Upset and Worried and Squicked by every situation all the time. WHERE ARE YOUR GUTS, woman??? Why are you so SPINELESS??? She’s just the epitome of that person who, like, sees a starving beggar who is starving because she and her husband slashed the country’s welfare system and now she’s like, ‘eww, that beggar is smelly, how upsetting.’ 

And BEAST. Honestly he’s a real DILF, which I just find viscerally uncomfortable because THAT’S HOW HE DOES IT, he looks all dignified and wise and statesmanlike and sort of fatherly and cuddly as he says things like, ‘we have no option but to lock up innocent children forever’ and that’s how he gets away with it. He tells his own son to his face that everything is his fault; when Ben reminds him that he said ‘follow your heart and believe in yourself’ or something like that Beast is like, ‘did I??’ because God forbid Ben take anything he said and use it as a source of strength. 

And then the NERVE of these three adults looking at Mal like, ‘what do we do?’ I DON’T FUCKING KNOW? ALL THESE PROBLEMS ARE OF YOUR OWN MAKING WHY DO YOU NEED A CHILD - A VICTIM OF YOUR FUCKED-UP SYSTEM - TO MAKE YOUR DECISIONS FOR YOU, ARE YOU LITERALLY TOO LAZY AND MORALLY BANKRUPT TO EVEN RUN YOUR OWN COUNTRY? 

likes to go on drives to nowhere in particular

HARRY - He’s an adventurer and he just loves knowing about the seas and the land, one of his dreams is to visit Neverland and show Uma the places his father talked about 

is in charge of the radio or playlist in the car (and what do they play)?

UMA - She always starts up the songs in the car and Harry follows along both singing at the tops of their lungs. In terms of music they love powerful anthems with bass that almost shakes the car.

reaches over to hold the other’s hand

HARRY - Harry knows Uma inside out, he knows exactly the moments when Uma needs comforting or affection

is more likely to hog the bed

HARRY - He wants to snuggle up to Uma most of the time which sometimes results with him spread across the bed

favors lazy morning sex

UMA - She’s tired at night after late shifts at Ursula’s so it rolls over into the morning, Harrys always up for it 

likes to drink their coffee or tea outside in the mornings

UMA - Any excuse to stay out of the Chip Shop in the morning 

reads the paper or watches the news

UMA - Uma is really in tune with current issues, she’s believes in fighting for VK rights and wants equality for all so she catches whatever news she can

feeds and takes care of the stray cat that hangs around the house (and pretty much makes it not a stray)

HARRY - He’s a real softie when it comes to animals, just like how he is with Uma

chooses the color of paint for the walls

UMA - She always makes the decisions, Harry agrees

comes home with the weirder work stories

UMA - Even though Harry sees a bunch of misbehaving pirates while parading the Isle Uma sees a lot weirder at the Chip Shop

takes long baths

UMA - She’s a Cecaelia, she loves the water

has the full skin care routine

UMA - Being surrounded by greasy fryers from the kitchens and salt water around the Isle she always makes sure her skin remains in a good condition

gives the other a massage when they seem tense

HARRY - Harry knows when Uma’s tense, usually when she’s sat stewing at one of the Chip Shop tables he gives a shoulder massage and helps calm her down

is more easily turned on

HARRY - no explanation needed we all know it’s him

prefers to kick back with a drink in the evenings

HARRY - He loves his rum and often is already drinking it when Uma’s cleaning up after shift

stays up too late reading

HARRY - This was a tough one to choose but I see Harry being the one that when he’s hooked to a book he doesn’t stop until he’s finished, he sucks at math but he’s excellent at reading and is often hooked to some old sailors diary or sailing handbook

is the deep sleeper

Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Descendants (Disney Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Ben/Harry Hook, Harry Hook/Uma, Gil/Harry Hook/Uma (Background) Characters: Harry Hook, Ben (Disney: Descendants), Uma (Disney), Gil (Disney: Descendants), Captain Hook, Gaston (Disney), Uma's Crew (Disney), Mal (Disney) - Background, Jay (Disney) - Background, Carlos de Vil - Background, Evie (Disney) - Background, Calista Jane "CJ" Hook Additional Tags: Politics, Magic, Worldbuilding, kingship, hostages, sword fights, BDSM dynamics, True Love's Kiss, harry!POV, the violence isn't extreme but it's beyond canon-typical Summary:

Ben: Harry, can I talk to you for a second?

Harry: Yeah, what's up? Let me guess, you and Mal are having problems? You want me to teach you how to kiss?