#queerthoughts

i was like an empty shell floating through time and space, not realizing anything thats happening around me or inside of me.

(Cis-normative) people have an ideal for whatever men and women are. But even their concepts don't 100% overlap (everyone has their own concept based on personal experience, culture, etc. Those ideals will also change with time.) Every concept is represented by a single dot in the gender-space. So there are these clumps of dots representing men in women in a cis world. Not even cis people exactly match these dots. But what makes them binary-normative is that they have the need to get as close to these dots as possible (abandoning oneself for an ideal). If your identity (also varies with time) already kinda matches one of the clumps then that might be cool and you can just life your life satisfied that way.

But the gender-space is sooo much bigger and there are endless varieties to just be. People (trans or not) should not have to obey to the clumps

I personally just try to vibe wherever i am floating in the vast landscape of possible identities

Idk if yet another model of gender is helpful in any way. Just know that you could also conceptualize it in any other way. Different concepts are are better at showing a variety of aspects. Bla bla

It kinda goes against my point of "just being" to try to explain stuff like this. But how else am I ever going to communicate. (I do hate concretely talking about gender though bc every time I do it i feel dissatisfied afterwards. Like as if i just caved something into stone. beware IM NOT CAVING SHIT. i might have thrown over this whole idea in a week's time)

Anyways. Being trans is beautiful

It’s becoming increasingly common to see how conservative narratives weaponize individual experiences to invalidate diverse identities and deny people access to their rights.

A clear example? Detransitioners — especially those who transitioned FTM and later reversed it.

Their stories are valid, of course. But it’s telling how sensationalist media and conservative podcasts rush to amplify their voices only when it serves to argue against gender-affirming care.

And —personal opinion here, but I think many would agree— this tends to happen most when the person in question was once perceived as a woman. Conservatives love the “misled woman” narrative, even if they won’t admit it out loud.

The issue isn’t that they speak up — the issue is when their experience is turned into a tool to silence others.

Because if we’re going to talk about regret, let’s be honest: far more people regret getting married or having kids... and no one’s trying to ban those things.

There are also people with nonconforming gender expressions or trans umbrella identities who say things like “I present this way, but I don’t expect to be treated like a woman/man because I’m not one.”

And while they’re free to live as they choose, those statements often end up reinforcing the same biological essentialism that harms others —especially when used to say that other trans people are “asking for too much” just by wanting to be respected, addressed properly, or have access to basic rights.

This is particularly common with older trans women or travestis, who are now media darlings after being ignored or criminalized for decades.

There’s also the occasional gay or lesbian who says their sexuality is a “private” or “intimate” matter — and that’s why they don’t hold hands or kiss in public, “unlike those other gays.”

Let’s be clear: private and intimate aren’t the same. Intimacy is about space — something done in a personal setting. Privacy is about autonomy — choosing what to share and with whom. Showing affection publicly is not crossing a line; it’s existing freely.

And of course, the recent wave of TikTokers and podcasters — women promoting tradwife aesthetics, praising male domination, celebrating feminine fragility, or claiming motherhood is the only true purpose of a woman.

Look, if that’s your thing in your relationship, go for it. But don’t try to impose it on others.

And definitely don’t parade it on the podcast of a guy who only sees you as a mouthpiece for his misogyny.

Because personal experiences are just that: personal. Not universal truths. Not excuses to justify hate. Not tools to erase those who live differently.